Chapter XVIII: Fibbles’s Troubles

Deep within the forest of Dral laid a vast parcel of mushrooms, spread across a hilly landscape. These were no ordinary mushrooms, as many were the size of large trees and held a wide variety of colors. Some were red, speckled white, others were straight brown with a stray yellow or purple one amongst them. The night was about to fall over this said forest, however many gnomes beneath were astir.

A gnome named Fibbles walked through an oval-shaped door, dressed in fine chainmail, and asked, “Smiggles, you in here?! Is everything alright? Where is our baby?” and then he wandered towards the next room.

Fibbles opened a door, jumped, and cried out, “Ahhh! What is this?! Oh?” and then sighed in relief soon afterwards.

Smiggles laughed behind a carved dragon head that was placed in front of the door, and she said, “Got yeah! You really thought there was a dragon in here, huh? Looks pretty real, doesn’t it?” and she emerged from behind the artwork.

Fibbles pushed the statue out of the doorway, and said, “Ha, yes, that was good. I was due for a good scare. I assume you heard me coming in?”

Smiggles took off her leather apron, and said, “Yes, and Yaymra has been with the neighbors for most of today. I was actually planning on going over there and spending the night. Do you plan on going out again?” as she organized some tools inside of an intricate glass vase.

Fibbles grabbed his ornate spangenhelm off of a stand, and said, “I am, but I have to attend one of those monthly council meetings," and he shrugged.

Smiggles dimmed one of the light stones on the wall, looked over at him, and asked, “Hm, that sounds really boring. And it’s not even the end of the month yet, so why so early?”

Fibbles loosened a notch on his belt, and said, "You’re right, it is very boring. Being in charge of this military is lame, and I've yet to achieve my right of passage,” and he clenched the hilt of his sword at his waist.

Smiggles went up to him, caressed his hand, and said, “I keep forgetting you’re so much younger than me… You’re not even a hundred yet!” and then she went in front of a large mirror to put on a pointy green hat.

He joined her in front of the mirror to fix his apparel as well, and said, “I know, but I swear, after I deal with this epidemic, I’ll go on a great adventure,” and he then walked over to an oval metal door.

*Click*

She looked over her shoulder, frowned, and asked, ”An epidemic?! Is that what the sudden meeting is all about then, huh?” and she went back to staring at him in the mirror while she fixed her hair.

Fibbles moved into the tunnel, leaned against the doorframe, and said, “You know I can’t speak on council stuff. The merchants will find out and come down on me like the God of Ferrou... All I can tell you now is that it’s not safe, so please do not wander about tonight.”

Smiggles spun around in her exquisite sienna dress, and said, “Ha, what you really mean is that you’re afraid of your dad?”

Fibbles chuckled, and said, “I’m more afraid of walking under a ladder or a stray cat crossing my path than that! Anyways, please, take care Smiggles.”

*Slam* *Click*

The gnome then descended further beneath his mushroom home through an elaborate tunnel system. He followed the signs and occasionally nodded to the anxious guards stationed throughout until he reached a large cavern. As he approached the decorative entrance, he hailed the gnomish knights standing there. And with a single gesture, they opened the large metal doors without fuss.

Fibbles entered the furnished cavern and took his seat at a lavish roundtable, and said, “How’s everyone doing this evening?” as he pulled his chair forward.

The other gold and blue hats seated around the table said nothing to him. Their silence was painful and out of place. Usually, a brown hat or someone was cracking a joke or telling a funny story at the table before a meeting, but not today; the atmosphere was unnerving, and it made the air in the room still.

One of the gold hats broke the silence first, and said, “Hello, chaps. Thank you all for coming on such short notice. Please, pass this rabbit's foot around, once it makes its way back to me, we’ll start as per usual,” and he handed the foot to the gnome next to him.

The rabbit’s foot eventually made its way to Fibbles. He kissed the foot and wished for a fun adventure to beseech him sooner rather than later. However, his heart was filled with doubt at that moment.

The foot went full circle, and another gold hat said, “Could we start with the more pressing issues tonight for once?”

A blue hat concurred, and said, “Isn’t that why we’re all here? Our town of Skipperhaven is in mortal danger!” and he smacked the table.

Another raised his finger, and said, “Yes! Almost all of my neighbors have reported that their homes were broken into!”

The only brown hat raised his voice, and said, “Just the other night I lost twenty of my chickens, and the week before that something took all of the cups in my cabberds!” as he pulled at his white beard.

A different gold hat stood up and stated, “There is also the issue of trade goods being stolen! Everything from simple household items to jewelry has gone missing,” and he pinched his bulbous nose as he sat back down.

The first gold hat spoke again, and said, “That’s not even the worst part... I’ve heard that these things are even stealing babies in the night,” and he grimaced.

A younger blue hat said, “There is clearly someone or something causing trouble in our town. These crimes do not appear to be from an ordinary criminal. Could this be the work of kobolts or gnolls? Maybe we should seek outside help from the human empire to the south?”

One of the gold hats answered, and yelled, “No, we cannot expose the location of our town! We must deal with these monsters ourselves!”

Another gold hat asked, “Ugh, hasn’t this been going on for nearly a month now?! Why is that?!” and he then mean-mugged Fibbles.

A blue hat spat, and asked, “So what do you have to report Fibbles? Why haven't you addressed this issue yet?! All you’ve given us is garbage information, yet no leads, no resolution!” and he locked eyes with him.

A different blue hat pointed at him and shouted, “He’s yet to find the culprit, and he’s supposed to be in charge of our security! It’s because of him everything has gone to shit as of late!”

One of the gold hats yelled, “I say we vote to kick this good-for-nothing Fibbles off of the council. He’s only here because his father is a well-known gold hat…”

Another gold hat agreed and shouted, “Let’s adjourn momentarily, and move to replace the current gener-.”

The brown hat cut him off, and said, “This stops now. I have no patience for these grudges,” and he frowned at the other gnomes.

Fibbles finally had enough, and said, “No, that’s fine. I never wanted this position, and you can stick your pointy golden hats up your arses. I’m leaving, I have patrols to do,” and he sat up and walked towards one of the exits.

Some of the guards in the room began to laugh in the background as Fibbles made his way out of one of the many exits. From there, a pair of double doors closed behind him, and he dragged his feet to the surface. Eventually, he popped up out of a burrow, and found himself approaching two hundred some gnomes in the town square. They all sat crisscrossed on the bricks as they told each other riddles, jokes, and funny tales of the like.

Fibbles soon stepped onto a wooden platform as they quickly assembled into loose columns upon his arrival, and he then said, “Good evening my fellow watchnomes. We have a lot of work to do tonight. In addition to the current stationing’s, teams of three will be established for scouting. We have yet to identify the criminals responsible for the most recent crimes. And It’s paramount that we obtain a lead soon. The amount of traps in our distant tunnels will be doubled and will include explosives now... I will trust the engineering teams to take this task up with the utmost discretion. And uh, thank you for your work, you’re all dismissed. May the God of Ferrou be with you!” and he walked off stage.

The gnomes cladded in armor all stomped their feet, and yelled, “For Skipperhaven!” and then they quickly dispersed into threes.

Fibbles pointed to a pair of older gnomes, and said, “You two look like you need a third, please come with me. We’re going to check the southernmost tunnels,” and the two eagerly accommodated him.

The three quickly found a nearby tunnel and started to head their way southward. They moved through the passageways with ease as they replaced light stones, inspected support beams, and identified tracks. Yet all of these things were mundane tasks for a gnome.

One of the watchnomes said, “I got a riddle for you boys, wanna hear it?”

The other watchnome said, “Oi yes, let's hear it!”

Fibbles relaxed at the thought of riddles, and said, “Of course, go on,” as he continued to lead the other two down a long passageway.

The watchnome chuckled, and asked, “What’s something large, pointy, and always fun to mess around with?”

Fibbled scratched his mustache, and said, “Hm, I don’t know, an ear?”

The other watchnome yelled, “Oh I know, my penis!”

The first watchnome laughed, and said, “Ha, I said something large you fool, not small. Any other guesses?”

No one answered him afterwards, so he said, “It is a swor-”

Fibbles signaled for the other two to stop talking, crouched down, and whispered, “How long have we been walking without a light stone?”

One of the watchnome’s eyes went wide, and replied, “Now that you mention it, we should have passed at least two of them by now,” and he looked around.

The other watchnome crouched down with Fibbles, and whispered, “As far as code goes, there should be a set of light stones every fifteen meters,” and he looked over his shoulder.

Fibbles waved over the other gnome to join them near the floor, and whispered, “Alright lads, this is strange, so here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to keep walking this path without a light. If anything happens, I want one of you to run back and raise an alarm,” and with that, they all nodded in agreement and moved down the small tunnel with short swords in hand.

Soon a distant cry went out.

“Raahhhh! Raahhh! Squackk! Squackk! Raahhh!”

The team halted at the sounds of distant cries, and one of them whispered, “What is that sound?”

The eldest watchnome gritted his teeth, and whispered, “It sounds like a young goblin… Commander, allow me to rush it and slay it please.”

The other watchnome whispered, “Should I go back and raise the alarm now?”

Fibbles gasped and then whispered, “No, first we have to confirm this, let's move closer and get a better look,” and he slowly trudges forward with his team.

Three gnomes cautiously made their way towards the sounds, and it became apparent that a small goblin was trapped inside of a bear trap. Its leg was fully enclosed within the metal jaws, and it thrashed around in an attempt to free itself yet to no avail.

One of the watchnome’s shoulders went lax, and he asked, “Only one? Can I kill it now?” and he pointed his blade at the goblin.

The goblin then shouted, “Helps! The half-mens are heres! Helps mes!” and it desperately tried to pry the trap open.

The other watchnome stepped forward and exclaimed, “Woah, it talks?! That’s not norm-,” and he dropped to the dirt with an arrow in his skull.

Fibbles immediately charged forward, towards a light in the distance, and yelled, “Go back! Sound the alarm!” as another arrow went flying over him.

Fibbles pushed far down the tunnel, and took a swing at the shooter, only for his attack to be suddenly blocked by a club, and he yelled, “Ah, no way!” as he was forced to leap backwards.

The reddish goblin in front of him then said, “Nots todays half-man!” and it swung the club down onto him.

Fibbles parried that club, yet he was unable to dodge an incoming arrow, which sunk deep into his shoulder.

He stumbled back and grasped his shoulder in pain. The two goblins before him retreated, and just as he was about to pursue, he stopped himself. His eyes and mouth went slack at the sight of not a mere light, but of an impressive fireball being conjured at the end of a staff; the heat swirled and spun with great intensity.

Fibbles raised his free hand, quickly conjured his own fireball, and yelled, “No! Not today you blue freak!” and both fire balls went soaring down the tunnel at each other.

*Shzooooom* *Whooooosh* *Boom* *Thud*

Fibbles was then blasted back tens of meters down the tunnel. His armor was covered in black soot while his body smelled of burnt flesh. He laid there in the dirt whilst in a daze only to groan in pain. However, after a few moments, he pulled himself to his feet using the wall.

He then started to plod his way back to town while grinding his shoulder against the tunnel, and he said, “Hmm, ah, we have a serious goblin problem,” and he winced.