That single statement kept Marlow rooted in place with her heart pounding in her chest. She swallowed the choking lump in her throat and her head spun. “That…no,” she whispered before her throat closed and her voice faltered. “That cannot be true, Nix, please. I have to go back.”

Nix’s thick, inky hair tickled at Marlow’s nose and cheeks as the mer embraced her firmly enough to squish the breath from Marlow’s chest. She pressed their foreheads together and hummed softly. “I am sorry, Marlow. It is not possible.”

Despite the vastness of the ocean, it suddenly felt too small, too constricting, and Marlow pressed her open hands to Nix’s torso and shoved the woman away. “No,” she snarled. “You are wrong. I am going back.”

She twisted away from the black and white Mer and lashed her tail to swim in the opposite direction. Her mind was too fogged with panic to care that she did not know which way to go. She had to reach her family. She was alive and breathing, and they needed to know. She knew they would mourn her and that her siblings were too young yet to be of proper help to their parents. Maybe Nix was wrong – or just did not want to say – and there was a way to fix it. Even if there was not, she was desperate for them to know that she was alright.

Before she got any further than a stroke or two forward, hands wrapped tightly around the slender part of her tail before it stretched into her fin and yanked her to a stop. “Marlow, stop,” Nix commanded as she pulled Marlow closer and flipped her onto her back.

Marlow tried to pull her tail free, but Nix had a firm grip on her. Seeing the new single limb that her body had morphed into, with the strange orange and whites of her new skin, was too much and Marlow looked away. “Just let me go,” she complained.

Even though Marlow had expected the Mer to be angry and frustrated with her, Nix showed nothing but a solemn calm as she closed her eyes and shook her head slowly before reopening them and staring Marlow head-on. All the while, her grip never faltered. “I cannot do that, Marlow. You will understand eventually. There is nothing for you back on land except for death. I understand you are in pain and that you are confused, but it is my job to ensure you are safe. I will not send you to die, no matter how much you think you want me to.”

Marlow shook her head and tried to twist free of Nix’s grip, but the Mer hung on. The sight of the orange-brown limb, speckled and smooth, but alien, made Marlow’s stomach lurch. “Let go.”

Nix’s vivid blue gaze darkened and instead of loosening her grip, she tightened it. It sent a chill up Marlow’s spine. “Not until you have calmed enough that I know you are not going to take off. It is not safe, Marlow.”

Marlow gritted her teeth. “You do not know what would happen! My family loves me, they will not hurt me.”

When Nix growled, Marlow froze. The sound was low and guttural and it made Marlow’s heart race. It had been so easy in her desperation to forget that this was a predator. Whether people were wrong about the legends and intentions of sirens, the fear had to have come from somewhere. At that moment, Marlow could only see the powerful muscles that rippled in Nix’s tail, in her core, even her hands, which were strong enough to hold Marlow in place despite twisting her whole body into getting away earlier.

She expected Nix to attack, but instead, the dark-skinned Mer began sliding her hands up Marlow’s tail. She maintained just as firm a grip. Marlow tried to squirm, but Nix lunged and grabbed her by the wrists. She lifted one of Marlow’s hands to her face and jerked. “I want you to look,” Nix instructed. “The girl your family knows and loves, is she here?”

“Of course I am here! I am still me, regardless of what you have done to me.”

Nix sighed. “Inside, perhaps, but would you argue you are the same on the outside? Marlow, that girl, is this her hand? Where are her feet?”

“I-”

Nix pressed on before Marlow could find the words to defend herself. She ran her fingers through Marlow’s hair and brought the reddish-orange strands into view. “Is this her hair? Her voice? Marlow, will your parents recognize this?” Nix brushed Marlow’s tail for emphasis. “What about her face? I know you cannot see it for yourself, but I saw you before and I see you now. Do you think it is the same?”

Marlow’s heart squeezed in her chest and red hot disgust began to pump through her veins. Her stomach lurched inside of her and her eyes began to sting. She flexed her fingers, really looked at the new hue and texture of her skin. It was foreign like she was in the wrong body, and she looked away. She could barely stand the sight.

A sob scalded her throat and she squeezed her eyes shut. “I-I want to go home,” she whimpered. “It is all wrong, I hate it, I-” Marlow lost her voice as shudders wracked her alien body.

Nix’s arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. “I know, I know, it will be okay,” she whispered as she began to rub up and down Marlow’s back. Every time her fingers came in contact with the thick dorsal that erupted from her back, Marlow flinched. It should not be there. “I am sorry, Marlow, I know it was cruel of me to be so harsh, but I need you to understand. You are beautiful, there is nothing wrong with you. You will come to see it in time. But humanity fears us like we are monsters. I believe your family are good people, but if you go to their shores, they will fear a beast has come for the rest of their children. You would only have a heartbeat to reassure them. They will not recognize you and you cannot speak to them. I am sure there are ways to reassure them, but they take too much time.”

Marlow could not quell her quivering, but she clung to Nix. She could not decide if she hated the Mer or not, but right now she was her only source of comfort. “I cannot believe they would hurt me. They are good people. Gentle.”

For a moment or two, Nix had nothing to say and merely continued to rub Marlow’s back. Then, the Mer sighed. “Marlow, they have a family to protect and generations of horror stories and ingrained beliefs about us. You would be surprised what people are capable of when they are afraid. But even if they mean you no harm, other humans will. They will seek to slaughter you on sight. And the shores come with more dangers than just humans. The shallows are no place for a mer, especially not one on her own.”

Nix’s tail was bumping against Marlow they hovered, and the Mer was tense, but Marlow was not sure why. She was too busy trying to stop her body from quaking with distress. “I-I do not know what to do,” she whimpered.

When Nix pulled away, Marlow found herself desperately searching the mer’s face for answers, despite knowing that the aquatic creature was not likely to understand her needs. They may both have once been human but it was clear that Nix had no connection to the life she was born into.

“How old are you, Marlow?”

“Seventeen.”

Nix’s azure gaze clouded over and she shook her head. She turned away from Marlow and hissed into the open water. The sharp sound made Marlow flinch and the hairs on the back of her neck prickled with unease as the black and white Mer lashed her tail. “A child,” she snarled. “Marlow, your people grow more despicable every moon. They sent a young girl, barely more than a pup to her death? They call us monsters, use us to strew fear among the defenceless, yet how can they not see they are the monstrosities for allowing this to happen?”

“I am not a baby,” Marlow protested. She knew Nix had a point, she had felt sickened by the kingdom’s actions too, but agreeing with Nix when she was trying to convince the mer to help her get back did not sit right.

Nix cupped her cheek and pursed her lips. “You are too young to have endured this,” she decided. “When was the last that you slept? I do not imagine it was recently, so how long has it been since you had a proper rest?”

Marlow shrugged. She hugged her waist, but the thicker, smoother texture of her skin made her tense. Now that she was processing that it was permanent, she hated it all even more. “Days,” she muttered finally. She had slept fitfully the first few days since the selection, but not at all for at least three days, and the last proper sleep had been before she went into town.

“And food?” Nix pressed.

Before Marlow could answer, her belly growled noisily and she squeezed her middle at the clenching cramps that followed the noise. She bit her lip so she would not start crying once again.

Nix took Marlow’s hand by just the fingertips and she jerked her head behind her. “You are confused and frightened, and I know you wish to return to the shore, but for now, you need to come with me. It is dangerous to linger in open waters and you need proper rest. You need to feed and you need to heal.”

Marlow flinched as Nix’s fingers brushed over one of the numerous bite wounds still littered over her sides and arms. “Feed?” She winced. “Wh-what exactly do sire…mer…that is what is the diet…what do you eat?” she stammered.

Nix rolled her eyes and tugged on Marlow’s hand. “We do not consume human flesh if that is your concern, Marlow. We are hunters and foragers. We travel and hunt fish schools as a pod and we forage shellfish, plants, and sometimes fruits when we are not hunting. Now come on, we should get moving.”

Nix began to pull her forward in the water again, but Marlow pulled her hand back. “Wait, but I…” she trailed off as she looked around. She was in deep, open water in a body she did not understand and sickened her to look at, and she suddenly felt very lost and small and alone. “I need to go back.”

“Marlow…I know you are hurt and confused, but right now, you need to come back to our pod. It is not safe out here alone. Come with me now. Eat, sleep, recover, and in a few days, if you still feel like you need to return, we can talk more then. But you cannot get there alone and I will not take you in this state, do you understand?”

Marlow’s shoulders sagged, but when she turned to look at Nix again, the other girl had her hand extended in an invitation. Marlow hesitated and glanced around one final time before bowing her head and taking Nix’s hand. She was still desperate to get to her family but she was forced to accept the reality that she was not able to travel to them on her own when she did not know which way to go and it was clear now that she was not going to sway Nix. At least not right now. Perhaps someone else in the group would be more willing to offer her aid.

She allowed Nix to pull her back into motion and they lapsed into silence. Marlow tried not to think about every instinctive stroke her tail made to keep pace with Nix. It was wrong how easy it was, how naturally something so unnatural came to her now. She chewed her lip. While she could feel Nix’s gaze on her, Marlow had nothing more to say and she appreciated that Nix did not seem inclined to force further conversation.

The longer they swam, the more weary Marlow began to feel. She had very little memory of what had happened to her. She remembered the frigidity of the water as she had fallen from the plank and she remembered the burning fire of the first bite she had received, and she blushed as she remembered the Mer who had held her still and breathed for her while it happened, but she remembered nothing after that. Surely she would have felt it, noticed as her legs melded and the various fins grew from her flesh, but the harder she tried to contemplate it, the more it made her head hurt.

She shook off the hazy memories and instead glanced at one arm. The skin was a softer orange on the underside and down by her hands, but darkened to more of a brown up by her shoulder, which was dotted with light speckles. There were two bites on this arm, but the one in the muscle of her upper arm stung the worst of the two. The rest down her body ached too, but she could not turn to inspect them and keep swimming at the same time, so she focused on the one on her arm. It pulsed painfully, but it did not bleed and looked mostly scabbed over. The punctures were wider than she had thought they would be, however. “Will these scar?” She inquired.

“Most of them will heal,” Nix replied. “Only one will remain a scar. The guardian bite always lingers.”

“The guardian bite?”

Nix grimaced and shrugged. “My bite will scar, Marlow. It is how it works. Just as Esthiel’s marked me.” Nix twisted onto one side and brushed her fingers over a section of skin, just below her ribs on one side, where her flesh remained a brighter white in two specks, and the skin was rolled into a small knot between them. “Every human-born has a bite scar. The one their guardian leaves behind.”

Marlow frowned. “I do not understand. How is that always the case? I thought that you being my guardian just meant you got lumped with me. Drew the short straw or were next in line for it or whatever, or that maybe it was just your task.”

Nix shook her head. “No, Marlow, that is not how it works. You are my first, but the pod did not elect me nor was it my turn or something I volunteered for pre-emptively. The pod does not choose a guardian. That is determined during your change. It is difficult to explain when you are still so new, but know that it is nothing bad.”

The answer did not make Marlow feel much better. “Which…which wound is it?” She was not sure if she would regret asking, but she wanted to know where she would sport a scar as a reminder of what had happened.

Nix sighed and shrugged. “Near the same place as mine,” she admitted after a moment.

Marlow glanced down at the bite beneath her ribs. It was just as painful and scabbed up as all the others, but it did not look any different from the other ones. It did not make sense to her, but she supposed Nix had already stated that.

She wanted more answers, but before she could demand them from Nix, her attention was pulled away as they caught back up with Nix’s pod. They were surrounded by other mer once more and several approached. They did not stop, however, just swam right by. One’s fin brushed against Marlow’s side and she flinched. Then the next, a mer as gray as stone with no dorsal and a rounded fin rolled onto his side as he swam so that his back rubbed along Marlow’s side and she yelped. She pulled away with an awkward flail of her tail, only to have another, dark brown mer run her fingers down Marlow’s back.

“Stop it!” Marlow yelled. She sunk deeper in the water, though she was still clinging to Nix’s hand. Others were coming closer and Marlow squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered. “Do not touch me!”

“Marlow, what is wrong?” Nix pressed.

Marlow shook her head. “It is wrong…inappropriate, I do not like it,” she whimpered. Her fingers curled into the flesh of her arm and she ignored the additional sting that it brought. None of the Mer wore any clothing and though their thick, smooth skin did not seem to have anything to expose, it still made Marlow’s cheeks enflame and she cringed at the thought of how easily the others had made contact, brushed their bodies against hers as though the behaviour was normal.

Nix clucked her tongue. “Oh Marlow, it is okay,” she whispered. “Listen, no one is trying to make you uncomfortable, it is just our nature.”

“What to just…frolic and…and engage with one another all the time? No, no thank you, I want no part of it.”

Nix’s laughter was light and had a high lilt to it, but Marlow bristled. She did not appreciate being laughed at for her boundaries and discomforts. “Marlow, it is not like that,” Nix assured her as she recovered. “There was no intent to make you uncomfortable, nor was it meant romantically or intimately. The mer breeding season only occurs once every ten season shifts and only with a mate. Mer do not engage in similar activities at any other time. But we are physically sensitive creatures. We need direct physical contact with others often or we grow numb and lethargic. Isolation can kill you. No one meant any harm. These gestures of touch are like our way of saying ‘hello’. You would greet those that you know and those that you do not, yes? There is no hidden meaning or nefarious intent behind it.”

Marlow flexed her fingers as she stared at her hands. The longer she was in it, the more she despised her new flesh. She gritted her teeth against the heat in her cheeks though. She felt a little silly at how strongly she had reacted now that she had Nix’s explanation. “I still do not like it.”

Nix hummed. “That is fine. You require physical contact like the rest of us, but we can respect that you are less open with it. Holding a hand, a brush of fingers, simple touches are enough, and you can initiate them when you need, okay?”

Marlow pursed her lips and hunched her shoulders. She loathed the idea that something that felt so strange and backwards to her was now something her body needed, but she supposed there was not much of another choice unless she wanted to perish. She was not certain if Nix was serious or overreacting that physical loneliness could kill her, but she was not quite ready to throw away her life – no matter how foreign it had become – when there was still a chance that she could reunite with her family. No matter what Nix said, Marlow refused to believe there was no possibility. She was determined to try. And if she had to endure some discomforts along the way, they would be worth it. “I suppose that would be okay,” she relented.

Nix hummed and when Marlow glanced at her, the mer was smiling and her eyes were sparkling. She had a hand extended towards Marlow once more. “Come on, then. I will show you where we dwell and you can get some rest.”

Marlow hesitated and chewed on her lip before reaching out and placing her hand in Nix’s.