《Reverend Insanity(But it was me DIO!)》Chapter 5: The Heaven of God, the Heaven of Dio.
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"Aren't you really witty?" Limitless snickered.
"Honestly, I'm surprised that you actually are behaving like one of the philosophers I saw on your memories."
His rude tone annoyed Dio greatly who said coarsely.
"Hmph, even an hedonist would analyze and ponder about the world around them, if they have nothing interesting to do.
Since the day I became a Vampire, even though I have turned far more impulsive and reckless, I don't consider this a limitation of the thought.
The opposite actually, emotions are a part of the conscience or what, do you believe a emotionless rock is smarter than men?
In fact, I Dio believe that my emotions are actually one of the many reasons why I'm above mankind.
Why?
Emotions such as empathy or transcendence are normally regarded as the one of men, as a proof they're above the rest.
And I agree with this statement, or what do you think that a rock which is devoid of 'useless' emotions is smarter than men?
My ambition, my impulses, they are the thing that drive my conscience, which push me towards my goals and ensure that I am above anyone else.
Emotions their richness and complexity is proof of conscience and intelligence, they're also the proof that I exist, that I'm alive.
They're the source of 'spirituality' and meaning, which means that my spirituality is higher than the one of mankind.
Hence, my 'impulsivity' is actually one of my greatest virtues."
The browns of Dio's lowered, he fell a chill to his spine and began to bit his nail, before he realized he was immersed on a memory from the past.
"And that's without mentioning those fucking years I spent on that goddamn coffin, for a creature such as me who feels ten times more than any human such boredom is truly hellish.
I Dio, persisted inside that vacuum for over a century, where I couldn't move my body at all, where thing I could hear where the sounds of my own heart beating or my breathing.
Together with that obnoxious sound of water hitting wood.
Each time this passed, I Dio feared that it would shatter and that I'd die inside the bottom of the ocean.
Eventually, though I got used to it.
And for what it seemed like an eternity I remained trapped, prey to my own thoughts and emotions, my instincts and desires for human flesh couldn't obviously be satiated, luckily I still had my mind.
Initially I thought what I Dio would do after I returned to the surface.
Then, those fantasies became onto schemes, carefully I thought of each scenario, on how this Dio could overthrow all governments and purge the Hamon masters from the face of the earth.
Was there a path ahead, a path to increase my Vampiric powers even further?
But when I ran out of ideas, my mind sooner or later returned to a certain thought, which made feel regret and bitterness, as I recalled my 'condition.'
To ignore those thoughts and fears, I began to think and look for someone to blame, Jojo, Erina, whoever invented that mask, my father Dario, myself...
Why, why I was so foolish to attempt to take Jonathan Joestar's body instead of settling for anybody else, even if I wanted his body I could take it after I recovered fully.
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...Those thoughts brains filled and collided over my brain crazily, until they became too much to handle, and funnily enough it became even harder because I was a Vampire.
The reason of that is simple.
Humans have many mechanisms to stop their suffering.
When a human is sad they cry, when they feel pain they scream, when they overexert their mind or body they feel tired, and even sleepy...
I, Dio don't require that.
The need of sleep is only to organize my thoughts and ideas, and well, when there's nothing to do there's nothing to organize, so sleep was pointless.
My Vampiric body didn't felt tired either, only overwhelmed by rage.
Such rage, regret and bitterness which piled up for days, weeks and months.
When I reached my breaking point, my mind began to hallucinate.
It was quite funny actually, when everything hit its end, my mind began to imagine other possibilities and ample spectrum of 'alternate' universes.
They had their own laws, social norms, ideals, persons, structures, economies, and more, they're incredibly complex, that and because I was desperate, I considered the possibility that perhaps, I had 'reincarnated' on another world.
But as time went on, the worlds proved nothing more than delusions.
Their 'complex' traditions, were merely revamps of previously existing cultures, such as the greeks or what not.
In fact, they're actually quite 'shallow' when you thought things thoroughly, at the end, their 'traditions' were like random thoughts such as:
'Once per month, people must put their clothes the other way around, with their underwear before their normal clothes.
That is as a proof of sincerity that you don't hide things from others, and that you're someone hygienic even when nobody is looking at you.'
Pure random nonsense, which would come from the mind of a child.
But that made sense, after all, the 'knowledge' I had of history came mostly from Jojo and his endless chatter.
He spoke of antique relics which nobody cares about, as if they're the most interesting thing he ever saw."
A slight smile appeared on Dio's face which was quickly suppressed by him.
"At some point, the world's I saw became even too dull and boring to be entertaining, but that was natural, after all, I had only lived for 21 years.
And during those years, I only lived one with my perfect memory of a Vampire for the others, they're a blurry self-contradictory mess.
Funnily though, my brain didn't tolerate those gaps, and thus it began to fill those gaps with little success...
Heh, as a Vampire I can't recall things, is as if most of my memories were like if you saw a 'blurry photo' framed on the wall of a house.
Something so vivid that I'm able to recall perfectly without missing a detail, but which is so blurry that there's no point in looking at them.
That also meant that my 'imagination' became even duller as the gaps of my memories were filled there were a lower diversity of thoughts.
The worlds I imagined became islands, then edifications and then into conversations and concepts.
Those concepts held no relation with each other, and were mere 'mashups' of certain philosophies I likely heard, with people I don't know if I ever meet, on places that I don't know if they're real.
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Here the 'soup' of the religious texts I had been indoctrinated on my childhood remerged.
With the ideas of 'Heaven' and 'Hell' my mother used to speak about...
Whose 'kind' words, were never precisely helpful or reassuring, they always felt like a cold irony.
What divine retribution?
My father convinced my mother to drink with him and when she was completely drunk he coerced her to have sex with him.
Then, when she regained her mind clarity, she married with that man, for god didn't tolerate sex outside from marriage.
She always worked hard to provide not for herself not even for me or my father, but for leeches who merely asked for money on the streets daily, or who came to her house to ask for money.
Even when she refused, they'd steal her, and even when they're caught she let them go, as it was god's job to judge them!
My father, on the other hand prevailed merely through doing the bare minimum, by robbing and by using me as his pawn.
Heh, heh, heh...Her words always felt like a cold irony.
This time, when I was already caged inside that coffin, when I had already turned into the 'monster', she spoke would go to hell, all her words of justice became like adding salt to a wound.
But, even though I recalled every single word she said, my will remained firm.
I thought that even if God tried to purge me, I'd struggle before death, that no matter what I'd try to find a way to make a comeback, no matter how hopeless it was.
I'd get rid of my chains and be free someday!
The time kept passing, when I had been already been trapped there for decades the seed of a doubt emerged on my heart.
What if I did?
What if I gave up?
Even if I didn't give up, would I someday return to the surface or I would die of hunger?
...
As the saying goes, the worst part about hell aren't the flames but the eventual loss of hope.
But, then again.
Isn't Heaven the same?
For starters, the mere fact at being at Heaven is at being at the absolute peak, if the goal of life is to go to 'Heaven', then when you reach Heaven that's all, now you have no worries.
Nor hopes.
You can't indulge on Lust, nor can you be prideful, nor eat too much, nor feel envy, wrath, you can't even relax and enjoy the fruits of your efforts as you'd fall on sloth!
At Heaven there's also no material attachments, nor other earthly desires.
Suck kind of life without any other purpose, nor challenges, nor even enjoyment is truly Heaven?
Then, I recalled the Buddhist monks of Asia, they believed on 'enlightenment.'
The belief to let go of one attachments, and to leave the cycle of reincarnation.
This includes the flesh, the soul, the ego, to basically reduce yourself to a mere empty flesh dummy.
Eternal 'peace', eternal rest...They, actually believe on that!
A man aiming to become a pebble on the streets who anyone can kick or spat on, whilst they simply remain there, without even trying to retaliate!
They literally aim to leave their thoughts of the past or the future, they reject the tools and cognition that nature gave them, isn't that the biggest joke there is?
Hah,hah...I Dio, I would rather to hypnotize myself to love dogshit than to become their idealized self.
As for 'mental freedom' is merely a form of escapism, after all how can you be free of your chains if you're not even strong enough to see them?
True freedom and Heaven lies on assurance, assurance that you made the right choice the power to see and create the consequences of your actions beforehand.
Those the invisible chains that drive your path and to get rid of them, this is freedom.
And how to accomplish that?
You need to become an a equal or a superior to the forces of the Heavens and Fate.
or even more powerful force than Fate."
Limitless laughed whilst Dio was saying his speech.
"Haven't you noticed something wrong, yet?"
He takes a Gu from his phantom aperture which releases a thin stream of a purple beam.
Dio gasps, he tries to cover his mouth with his two hands.
"What did you do to me?"
The Venerable replied plainly.
"I used the Gu rank 2 'Speaking too much' on you, that was why you spoke for so long and revealed so many secrets without even realizing."
He pointed his finger to him and said.
"The power of the Gu I used is low, too low.
It was used mostly on the tiny temperamental teenagers so they'd reveal secrets about who they liked, what they thought of a certain person and so on, at least on my era.
Yes, that's right.
You fell on the effect of a Gu whose effect aims to trigger an effect on a temperamental youth to ask about their 'crush.'
As this Gu lacks interrogative capabilties as it can't truly force someone to speak, as it merely amplifies an already existing desire to 'reveal' their thoughts.
Their desire to 'show off' whilst diminishing their natural shame and other natural inhibitions they may feel."
Limitless looked at Dio fixedly.
"Do you get what I'm trying to say with this?"
Dio lowers his gaze, somewhat ashamed.
"You fell to the effect of a simple, plain, weak Gu because you like too much the sound of your own voice, and because you're too careless.
I'm not saying this to annoy you or mock you, rather I wish you take this lesson on your heart, unless you're experienced enough and are far stronger than your opponent, you can't afford to be careless on the Gu world.
On the Gu world even an excessive luck may make you the target of some old monsters who wish to use your body as a Gu material."
Limitless touches Dio's shoulders and adds.
"That was my last advice to you Dio, before you leave.
Take care of yourself...
I'll see you soon."
A black portal appears, and absorbs Dio on a blink of an eye.
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