Unlike the nameless skeleton warrior, Greg screams all the way down. He shouts Shield Bash over and over as the defense bonus infuses his bones that rattled with the rushing wind as he falls and falls and falls.

This is impossible! Greg thinks. He is going to die, and this time for goo-

He doesn’t hear his skelly friend crash, but he does feel it when HE crashes. And Greg literally goes boom.

For a second, there is nothing, as everything is impossible dark, and he is… he is… not dead! Greg lived! Though he doesn’t feel great. He is missing a leg. And one leg that stayed attached shattered into a million pieces at the femur. His ribcage isn’t so much a cage as an empty bird nest, all shattered bones that hold its shape by coincidence. He feels the urge to cough, but minus lungs, he can only “ack” loudly.

But most importantly, he didn’t meet what waited for him in the void. He shudders at the thought, and both his arms fall off at the sockets. Oh god—

Skeleton Greg has taken Major Fall Damage.

“Oh, thanks bitch.” Greg spits.

You’re Welcome.

With a groan and force of will, Greg rolls from his back to his face as his body regenerates. The process seems to take forever, his helplessness making it feel like eons. All the while, sitting in the dark with his face to the dirt, all he hears is scuffling and shuffling and eerie noises of something inhuman echoing in the distance. He wants desperately to get up and defend himself, but missing both arms and legs makes him feel impotent and small.

Finally, his body repairs itself, popping and knitting the shattered bones back into place, which compels him to rise. When he gets up, his eyes adjust to the dark, and he sees his fellow skeleton warrior waiting for him, staring at the glowing promise of torchlight up ahead.

Civilization, Greg thinks, but shakes his mind of those thoughts. He is still inside a dungeon, a dangerous dungeon that has tried to kill him not once but five times so far. A regular human would have died three times over, and Matt’s corpse isn’t even cold yet.

So Greg picks up his shield and gathers his equipment, ensuring everything is within reach and inside its proper place before marching forward with a skelly in tow. They cross the valley at the bottom of the chasm, devoid of signs of life, and though their eyes have adjusted to the dark, they can’t see much around them. Only the dim light ahead gives them some hope of direction, and thankfully, no traps lie in wait. They stumble over a few large rocks as they cross the emptiness, and when they are close to the entrance, they see the first signs that it is too late to turn around.

Greg’s eyes glow brightly as he examines a wooden totem hanging from the cave entrance. He sees the carving of a bird, a lizard, and a– something, yes, something with horns and multiple teeth jutting out forward in a smile that expressed hunger and rage. The totem is the size of Greg’s palm, which creeps him out further as that means whoever carved it was meticulous and emphasized detail. Greg looks nervously at his fellow skelly warrior and gulps audibly. The warrior nods in mutual apprehension.

Even a barely sentient pile of bones is scared, and with that thought, Greg wants to turn around, climb up the cliff, and dig his way out of the dungeon.

And die anyway.

Greg grabs the totem. It burns in his boney grip. He lets the weird sensation of pain radiate into his hand before it eventually subsides.

A protection ward? Greg thinks, but he doesn’t remember a video game where something like this is used to guard the entrance. He half-hopes it will come to life, but on second thought, looking at the third, monstrous head at the bottom, he is glad it didn’t. Greg carefully unhooks it from the wall and gives it to his skeleton friend, who promptly puts it around his neck.

Skeleton Warrior has equipped Guardian Kapa Totem.

“Guardian what—”

Guardian Kapa Totem, used to mark Kapa territory. Kapa’s are ancient creatures found on the 1st layer of the underworld. Those who do not pass the Totems test are attacked immediately upon entering their territory and fed to their boss.

Greg looks at his half-burnt hand and puts two and two together. “And you weren’t going to tell me that!?” he shouts!

I am not a guide.

Greg fumes but, in the end, decides to go with it, “All right”—Greg points to the skeleton warrior—“You got to lead the way.”

“Yes Boss.”