《DICE》SEVEN
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3 P.M.
I’ve run out of tears. And I realize, the room is less cold now. Someone has turned on the heater.
Slowly, I unfold myself. And I turn on my back, like a wounded animal.
“Fuck.” There is something hard against my back, digging into my spine. Frustrated, I pull myself onto my haunches. There is something inside the mattress. A rectangular bulge in the cotten. They had sewn it back up, held together by crude stitches.
I begin to peel it open. Stitch and stitch comes apart under my red stained fingernails. Until it unveils itself, clear as day.
It’s…a notebook. Leather bound covers and worn pages. I recognize it immediately. The military insignia. Gold dripped. It is my father’s journal.
I skim through the pages. There must’ve been a thousand entries. Pages and pages of our lives in pen and ink, scribbled after a long day. I smell the beer in its seams and its dark blotches between the pages.
Against my simmering curiosity, I snap it shut.
Twisted delusions. I bury it under the mattress. I don’t need to read what happened, I’ve lived it. Every page, every line.
Every lie.
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