I have been on quite a journey these past two weeks. When life tips, equilibrium is difficult to realign. I am not there yet, but I have found myself reassessing my current reality. Right now Type A is not viable or even healthy for me. I have realized I needed to challenge my personal and creative standards. What is their purpose? Are they working for me? How much fear have I allowed into my writing process?

The definition of standard as a noun is: a level of quality or attainment, as an adjective it is: used or accepted as normal or average. So a standard is a level of quality that is accepted as normal or average. Normal is: the usual, average, or typical state or condition. I am not living in my typical state. A standard’s purpose is to measure. Measuring my current self against my past self is not working. Measuring my typical creative out put with my current out put will not align. So, instead of trying to be who I was and do what I did, maybe I need a different word for this current place that allows me the freedom to do what I can and not what I think I ought to be able to do. The word I choose is grace. Grace alleviates the fear of not being enough in my writing and my life now. It relieves the pressure to constantly measure myself. I am a person, not a recipe. Grace.