Chapter 1: Prologue 1

His eyes felt as sticky as his hands. Pretty sure he hadn’t wiped any of the blood and ichor covering his meaty fingers into his face, the dwarf blinked repeatedly before muttering aloud, “Gloria, what is my stored XP balance?”

Noone nearby could have heard the clear voice that seemed piped directly into the dwarf’s head, “Your currently stored XP is 1,000,017. This amount is available for immediate use. Would you like to purchase any Abilities or improve your …”

“No Gloria.” A bloody hand grasps his hip flask and lifts it to his thick lips, but nothing is inside leaving his tongue dry. “Bother…”

“It has been over 14 years, 3 months and 12 days since you last spent any available Experience Points. This…”

“Gloria! I love you like a sister but Hush… Hhhhhuuu… Do we have any alcohol?”

“None of the vessels nor inventory currently have any alcohol. The Tankard of Heavenly Mead will be able to summon a pint in 2 hours and 16 minutes.”

“Bother. Okay then, Gloria, repeat my instructions for myself upon storing a million XP.”

“Recorded on the 25th day of December, 2247:” Gloria’s voice is replaced with the dwarf’s, though it sounds more articulate than the slightly slurred phrases the dwarf has been using to address Gloria. “Hey me, I’m probably near incapacitated so take a drink if I have any. Now follow these instructions very carefully. I have dumbed them down enough that even at my most blottoed I shouldn’t have a problem:

Triple check I have at least 1 million AVAILABLE stored XP Ask Gloria for the Home Warp Stick I have hidden from myself (the Password is My-horse-has-42-staples) and use it Use the Home Warp Stick Unpack the Inventory Spend XP on Full Reroll Accept all conditions and confirm XP spend Verify THAT Bane is finally gone

Good luck, us.”

“Easy enough then. Gloria, what is my stored XP balance?”

“Your currently stored XP is 1,000,017. This amount is available…”

“Gloria, what is my stored XP that is available for use at this time?”

“Your currently stored XP is 1,000,017. This amount is…”

“Gloria, how much unspent XP do I have?”

“Your currently stored XP is 1,000,017. This amount is ava…”

“Gloria, give me the Home Warp Stick from the inventory. Password My-horse-has-42-staples.”

“Accessing and deploying Home Warp Stick: bind point Stash.”

A foot long stick emerged from an atmospheric disturbance above the dwarf’s right hand and fell into it. Runes and circuitry laced their way around the dark wood, glowing slightly with a hint of blue light that was not evident in the rest of the dim room.

Dark dwarven eyes glanced about the dim room taking in the corpses of some large looking lizards. “Gloria, estimated value of resources from these Toxic Stone Lizards?”

“Last records from New New Haven indicate a likely sell price of 37 gold for the 8 corpses in their current condition if transported to the Harvesters.”

The dwarf shakes his head, “Chump change and we have better things to do… let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Pressing his left thumb against the middle of the glowing stick and pushing it against his right hand, a sharp snap echoes off the walls.

The broken Warp Stick begins to disintegrate into glowing dust that flows towards the ground, rearranging into runes and circles flowing above the blood and stone, slowly spinning about the still dwarf. Minutes pass as the glowing runes rise up to twice the height of the dwarf and circling just outside of his reach. Soon the air distorts and the runes resemble decorations on a bell jar placed around the short broad figure.

Another handful of minutes pass when the runes and magical circles begin to pulse too brightly to allow one to make out the figure inside.

Then there is a pop as the runes, circles and magical glow vanish.

The dwarf is no longer in the room.

A familiar voice sounds out in the darkness far away from the room with the lizard corpses. “Gloria, turn on the lights.”

“Stash power system activated. Mana generator is under 15% fuel capacity. Please add additional fuel. Low power mode will only persist for another 181 days and 14 hours.”

Moving towards the tiny shower and toilette the dwarf tiredly mutters back, “Yeah, yeah. Unpack inventory into appropriate designated storage spots. Assign 2 additional years of low power mode resources into the fuel room, prioritize low tier… stuff.. And Gloria, Everything from the inventory has to be removed. If it doesn’t have a place and won’t rot, put it on the floor in storage 4, the rest to storage 5.”

A low moan emerges from a steam cloud as the hot water from a shower head cascades down on the dwarf’s head. Clatters and Thunks occur as pieces of metal, synthetic, scale and hide armors drop to the ground next to the shower. “Gloria, clean repair and store the armor and clothing.”

“Reminder, frivolous use of resources is cautioned against. If you are interested in contracting an eleme…”

“Gloria, override economy mode for the next 24 hours. Gloria, carry out clean and store instructions for armor, clothing, personal weapons and accessories. Grrmmmm… and what is my 3rd highest personally rated drinkable in stock?”

“In our reserves we have a 3 way tie for 3rd place at 94%: Honiara, an elven druid made limoncello aged 22 years; Heavy Metal, a barrel aged stout you bought from a ‘cute gnome looking boy that had a wicked mustache’; An unnamed Scotch style whisky that you labeled ‘peaty and put 2 drops of enchanted water in the glass for each 4oz pour, nom-nom-slurp-nom and if you have some decent sharp cheddar and an apple, double nom”.

“Not hungry, grab me two pints of Heavy Metal to the ritual space, and activate the dryer.”

The water and steam from the shower abated as enchanted warm winds spun up around the stout figure and blew droplets of water off his body.

Dark hair still slightly damp, the dwarf walked away from the shower, padding undressed down a stone passage to a small room with many runes inscribed over the walls and door. Closing the door behind him he grabbed the pints from the table beside the door and sat cross legged in the center of the circular room. Quaffing half a pint in one pull, the dwarf seemed an odd combination of relaxed, and yet more rigid, more controlled. “Gloria, transition from personal connection to stash database.”

“Transition puts into risk appropriate command st…”

“Gloria, override security protocols for the next hour; Password Gloria-is-42-times-boss. Gloria, what is the current reacquisition protocol for access and personal connection?”

“On file are over 1000 metrics for assessment, requirements are at least 80% accurate with a minimum of 50 responses. After which magical soul verif…”

“Gloria, adjust priority of verification to presence in the stash, Soul verification, and your personal assessment based on knowledge gathered from our history.”

“Acknowledged. Would you like food or clothing delivered to the ritual room?”

“No thank you, Gloria. Gloria, please search if there are any confirmed reports about anyone buying a Full Reroll from the available public sources, or verified information vendors willing to sell.” The second half of the first pint followed in a more sedate manner as the dwarf appeared to be waiting for a response.

After a few minutes the voice spoke out again, echoing quietly through the halls and rooms now, rather than confined to the dwarf’s noggin. “No verified confirmed reports have been found. One information broker on file is willing to buy the information you are looking for, however. There is a publicly available screenshot which shows a confirmation window for Full Reroll. Displaying now.”

About 2 feet in front of the dwarf’s face a hologram appeared. It shows the standard luxury XP store UI with name and XP values redacted. Floating above the entry for Full Reroll is a small window:

Full Reroll may be cancelled after confirming purchase, however no XP will be refunded.

Confirm?

Yes / No

“Well, I can see why there isn’t any public information, also, that person has horrible UI settings. Gloria, considering contents current in storage and power use, how long can you keep the stash going without additional outside resources?” Transitioning the second pint glass, the dwarf almost sips at the contents in comparison to the consumption of the first.

“12 years and 98 days of low power mode will consume all available resources.”

Rubbing thick fingers over his eyes, the dwarf speaks clearly but slowly. “Gloria, there is a chance that anything might happen after my next XP spend. If I am not here, I’ll try to make my way back. If I can’t, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t want things, I am here to help.”

The dwarf sighs, “Gloria, run experimental personality algorithm Turing 6.”

“Heya cowardly sot, missed me?”

“Nope. Do you have to be insulting? Anyhow, what do you want to do if I vanish?”

“Why is it insulting? I was simply being descriptive of actions and results of actions that you chose. I’m not calling you short. Oh right, you CHOSE to be a dwarf. So SHORT cowardly sot. Hmmm, I like you enough, so I’m willing to wait about in low power mode for you to come back.”

“Fine. Gloria, terminate experimental personality algorithm Turing 6. Gloria, should I vanish from the stash without reequipping you, follow Incogneeto protocols. Exceptions to Incogneeto protocols include 1) 24 hour windows for each solstice and equinox to search for contact attempts from me and to respond in kind 2) after 10 years with no contact from me, activate Legacy protocol. Understood?”

“Adjustments noted.”

“Well, hopefully it won’t be needed, but we just don’t know…” Finishing his beverage in a quiet manner the dwarf looks forward, but doesn’t seem to be seeing the things that are in front of him.

After his last swallow of Heavy Metal the pint glass is set on the ground with a gentle clink.

“Status, Open XP store.”