- You have a tumor in your head. Right here.

The doctor pointed his pen at the CT scan result and circled around something that reminded a bean. I tried to focus my eyes to see it clearly but I couldn't. Everything blended together and all I could see was my brain and the doctor's circular movements of his hand.

- This is going to be hard.

He gulped his saliva and took a deep breath.

- We have also checked your blood test results and it appears that it started to spread around. Due to its nature and the number of cells that were already spread, the only thing we can do is remove the tumor to decrease the pressure inside the skull. Otherwise, I'm afraid… it's too late.

The doctor looked at me with a very concerned look and smiled somewhat sadly when my eyes met his. Yeah, I get it. It's sad. A young person like myself dying of cancer and you can do nothing.

I honestly did not know how to react. Everything seemed unreal, distant like it wasn't happening to me. I sat there silently for a while but I came back to my senses when the doctor started tapping his pen on the table.

- You know I'm an orphan, I don't have any money or insurance to pay for the surgery.

I said it as if I was talking about my inability to buy some meat for dinner.

- How much time do I have?

- Approximately 2 years… Maybe 3, if you're lucky.

Lucky, huh? I scratched my neck and looked at the window behind him.

"3 years tops… What a joke. How do people usually react to that? Do they cry? Do they yell? I bet he thinks I'm not normal since I'm being so calm about it. Should I pretend to be upset? I, for the love of God, cannot squiz any kind of emotion out of me at this moment."

The doctor sighed heavily and took out a small key from his pocket. He then opened the table drawer with it, pulled out some prescription notes, and started filling them in by hand.

- This is a prescription for painkillers. I must be honest with you, miss Baek, this type of tumor is very nasty. The amount of pain that you will start to experience soon will be unbearable sometimes.

He paused and took another deep breath as if he was the one who is about to deal with that much pain.

- If the tumor is not removed, it will only continue to grow. You will experience the symptoms of intoxication like nausea, fatigue, and fainting. You will also have migraines and all kinds of hallucinations. Since it can also press on other areas of your brain, you can lose your ability to see, hear and talk. Lastly, it will affect all other organs as cancer spreads…

I sighed and clicked my tongue.

"I get it, I'm f*cked."

- So… This is a prescription for a narcotic painkiller used to treat cancer patients. This should cover you for at least 2 years. If you apply to the medical cancer community as an orphan, you will get them for free. We can even do it today, it's still morning.

- Yeah… Let's do that.

I don't know why I agreed to that so fast. But it's not like I had anything else to do in this situation. Surprisingly enough, the doctor helped me with all the paperwork and I did indeed get my medication for free right on the spot. I was given a huge paper bag full of drugs that were supposed to help me die less painfully. How absurd.

- Miss Baek… I think it goes without saying, but I feel like I still need to tell you… You cannot apply to be a gym teacher anymore.

That's it. That was the thing that hit me harder than the news that I will die of cancer soon. The doctor continued.

- As you know, the sports community checks the medical records before accepting candidates, that's the rule. No one can take risks. I am really sorry.

He patted me on the back and left.

"Well, now I feel like crying."

My name is Baek Yoo Na. I'm 24 years old, an orphan. Yes, I was abandoned right after I was born and grew up in an orphanage. Ever since I learned to walk, I was a great athlete. At least among other children in the orphanage. I didn't mind it - I liked running, jumping, swimming, lifting weights… all kinds of stuff that girls usually didn't do. Thanks to that I spent most of my time with boys. And even then I felt like I was better in physique than any of them.

Working my body out was my only coping mechanism... I suppose you can say that. When you grow up all by yourself without any kind of support from anyone, you get anxious and angry quite often. So whenever I felt like giving in, I would just run... run to the point when I was about to faint. That was the only way I knew how to live my life.

Once I realized that sports were the only thing I was able to excel at, I decided to dedicate my life to it. I decided to become a fitness trainer. Sure, I knew I had to study to become one, but I had a plan - I wanted to start as a school gym teacher, spend a part of my salary on different courses, and once I'm ready, start looking into becoming a personal trainer. Sound good, right? Yeah, I thought so too.