When I turned 18, I was forced to leave and start living on my own like any other abandoned child. I was able to find a very cheap one-room apartment and a job at a bookshop nearby. I enjoyed working there since I also could read the books there for free.

I was never a fan of reading, simply because there were not a lot of books available in the orphanage. But once I started working there, I discovered all kinds of literature, which was fascinating. Sometimes it felt like I could read anything as if trying to catch up on all the reading I haven't done before.

My favorite books, of course, were the ones about the human body and fitness. I could not pass up the opportunity to learn anything I could for free. There was only one book of fiction that affected me the most, though. It was a fantasy romance novel about a girl who was reincarnated into the princess's body and got involved in a love triangle between the protagonist, his brother, and her. I was shaken to the core - I have never read anything like that before! I did not care much about her loving the protagonist, but I was shocked by the kind of love his brother had for her. He was passionate, possessive, and sometimes even insane. All I was thinking back then was "How on earth can someone love another person so much? He loved her so deeply that he was ready to burn down the whole planet just to be with her." I was envious, I was never loved before. I had no one.

I still felt happy - I was slowly getting closer to my dream. So there I was - I turned 24, fresh out of PE academy, with good grades and a good physical record, I was ready to become a gym teacher. Up until yesterday.

I was on my way from the last school I submitted my application to when all of a sudden everything started spinning. My vision got blurry and I felt as if I started falling into a bottomless pit.

When I woke up I was in the hospital and the next thing I knew was my conversation with the doctor.

So what's next? I was standing in front of the hospital, holding a huge bag full of pills. What should I do? Where should I go? Who can I talk to? I had no family, no friends. No one in the orphanage would care about me anymore. I had no idea how to live my life from that point onwards.

When I came back to my apartment, I dropped the bag on the floor and watched the pill bottles rolling around in each direction. What a pitiful sight. My whole life now will depend on you guys. All that is left for me and my miserable life is a 2-year's worth of prescription of painkillers.

I sat down on my mattress and stared at the wall. When I came back to my senses, it was already dark outside.

"Haa… How many hours have I spent sitting like this?"

I looked at my phone and sighed. It was 9 PM. Without even thinking, I collected all the pills in my backpack, took my phone and left the apartment. I stopped at the closest convenience store and bought a bottle of red wine.

"Sure, I might as well indulge in some alcohol, what do I even have to lose?"

Slowly but surely, I started realizing my situation. My life was ruined. All that I hoped or dreamed for, everything that I worked so hard for, all of it went down the drain.

As I finished the bottle of wine, I found myself on the bridge over the Han river. The area was empty, not even a single car in sight. What was the time? 2 AM.

"Wow…"

I guess I walked here all the way from my house and now I'm leaning over the bridge. I haven't changed my clothes ever since I came out to apply for the jobs, so I was still wearing my gym clothes which consisted of tight pants, a sports bra and a hoodie over it. I felt a bit chilly.

I looked at the black water beneath me and sighed heavily.

"It's probably so freaking cold down there. I am a good swimmer, will I drown if I jump? Will my swimming instinct take over and save me? And if yes, what is the point? What do I have to live for? Wait for the painful death? Or first, wait till I'll go deaf and blind? And what am I going to do after that? A shitload of painkillers was the only thing I got. A shitload of painkillers was the price of my life."

I climbed over the bridge and looked down once again.

"I'm drunk. If I don't think much about it, I won't be able to swim my way up. Haaaa…. I don't regret anything!"

I took a deep breath and started yelling.

- Do you hear me, world? I don't regret anything! The only two things I regret are not being able to become a trainer and never being loved like in those fantasy novels!

The next thing I felt was a sharp blow of cold wind on my face. It felt as if I was constantly slapped with something heavy, something like a wet towel that was outside in the winter weather for a while. Then I felt something pressing on my chest and I was unable to breathe. Yes, I started suffocating, as if someone placed a 15 kg dumbbell on my chest. I think I was scared. My mind was too cloudy to completely comprehend everything that was happening to me, but I did know one thing - I was dying. Probably drowning? Did I really jump in the end? It didn't matter anymore, it was too late. It was too late for everything - for changing my mind, for trying to live on, for chasing my dreams, for the hope of finding love. I just had to wait a bit more before it was all over. Maybe I should just take a deep breath? Fill my lungs with icing cold water and just let go? And so I did. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

"… What is it? Sun? Blue sky? Did I die and go to heaven?"

I tried to move my body and it worked. I stood up and found myself somewhere in a forest. It was warm, just like summer. Is it always summer in heaven?

I took a look at myself. It was definitely my old body, I was even dressed the same, still in my gym attire. My backpack was lying next to me. I opened it and it was still filled with the drugs.

I tried to look for my phone, but it was nowhere to find. I guess it fell into the river as I jumped. It didn't matter anyway, now that I was dead.

- Your Majesty, she's here!

"Huh?"