A thousand thoughts swirl within me, and I as fragile as I am cave, my thoughts creep like the shadows so ver' dark, and fill up every last nook and cranny. My heart it beats yet it still feels so chained, I want something I know I can't yet have, I want something I may never yet have, and it kills me, instils me with a fear. Yet it thrills me that I can still feel this pain, I'm in love again, and that hurts so much, I'm yearning again, I still know that much.

But is that okay? My thoughts seem to say. Is any of this okay...? I'm... not sure.

And so I'm at square one again, ba-dum. My heart it beats in my ear, in my fears, and I still, still, yet not know what I want. Only I'm afraid, weak, vulnerable, that is all I know, that is all I've known.

To me that is love, to me that is fear. To me I'm not sure what I want to hear.

Is it... I love you? Is it... a clear break? is it just anything in this damned place?

Where noises bounce on the silent cold walls, where the only thing that bounces is me. My hopes, my fears, my few anxieties. My silent pleas, never to be once heard, The falsities, the fear that it was false. The possibilities that I can't see...

And yet, I ask again, am I happy?

Do I deserve to be so? I'm... not sure, and that scares me because I want to be, and that scares me because I want to breath.

Again I drown in my silent of fears, and again I wonder what I can hear. Is it sounds of this cold reality... or is it me? My worst of enemies...

Don't know what I want, when do I ever? And I'm afraid of being so alone, but I've always been alone, it's easy.

Trapped in my own thoughts, no one can hear me, even here surrounded, I'm... alone. Even surrounded by friends, I'm alone.

I'll always be alone, maybe its me. Maybe I'm meant to be alone,

alone...

I've always been this way...

I'm... afraid...