For a while, Emma needed to buy a new fork. She wanted to get something nice, but she didn’t know what she was looking for. One of her friends, Hester, suggested she get the Payless Fork. It was on a special sale and there were only 4 or 5 left in stock. Emma thought it looked ugly, so she set Hester on fire. She went to a store near the Essex Street Market and tried to buy a fork there, but the salesperson also wanted her to buy the ugly Payless Fork. She asked what other forks they had but they were all bent, misshapen, or broken. She set the salesperson on fire.

Emma had plenty of spoons and knives in her apartment, but she really lacked forks. Recently, she had inherited a negative number of forks. She had no idea what to do with -15 forks. She considered asked her friends, but she remembered that she killed her only friend and even if she had more, they were probably too stupid to answer her. She decided to ask Bort.

Emma was upset that she couldn’t eat noodles anymore. Hester had explained that it was because she ate her noodles with only her steak knives and Bort explained that it meant that some of the noodles were not fully cooked yet, and steak knifing them would cause them to become even more uncooked. Emma believed Bort more because she was her wife. Emma never really liked using forks, but she grew to like them because she used to eat with burning fingers. Her burning finger would set her food on fire and Emma did not like burnt food.

Lately, Bort was in the process of moving in with Emma. Emma asked Bort if she had any forks, but she said no. Bort only used broadswords. Emma thinks that is hot. Emma asked Bort if she would go with her to a warehouse to steal a fork. She said yes.

Bork thinks it’s best to drive to New Jersey to get the fork because New Jersey is a horrible place with good forks. She also thinks they won’t see the Payless Fork in New Jersey because it only functions in New York. The Payless Fork is made of 24 karat gold and is worth more than a million dollars. It was made by the greatest craftsman in the world, Mleemus Mleemus.

Soon, they find a warehouse. Bort decides to drive her truck through the doors. Employees at the warehouse are surprised and start running around because Bort ran over some of them. Bort laughs because it makes her happy. Emma quickly jumps out of the truck and runs up to an employee. She sets the employee on fire. He screams and starts crying. She does the same thing to another one. The employees are running around, trying to put out the fires. Some of them are on fire too. Some of them are on fire and crying.

She runs around the warehouse, setting fire to everything she sees. She is burning things down, destroying everything in her path. Bort was still running over people with her truck. She turns to Emma and winks. Emma swoons.

Suddenly, Emma sees a box labeled as ‘forks’. She opens it and finds a lot of forks. They were beautiful and silver plated. At least they weren’t the terrible Payless Forks. She quickly runs back to Bort.

When she saw Bort, she was out of the truck with a zippo. She was setting people’s pants on fire. They both get in the truck. Before Bort can start the truck, Emma sees a forklift. She tells Bort to stop the truck and get it. Bort picks up the forklift and puts it in her truck. Emma thinks that this would be the perfect gift for Harley when she sees him again.

When they get home, Bort carries the forklift up the elevator and she goes to Emma’s apartment. Bort puts the forklift in her living room. Emma runs into the kitchen and washes her newly acquired fork. She takes it out of the sink and dangles it from the ceiling. She looks at it and smiles. It is beautiful. She takes a picture of it and texts it to Harley. She then takes a picture of herself holding the fork and texts it to Bort. She takes another picture of herself holding the fork and emails it to Mleemus. She hopes she angered him.

Emma then goes to her bedroom and makes a burning kiss. She puts it in a Tupperware container and puts it in the freezer so that she can share it with Bort later.