Ul’dah is a dumb exercise in heat-based misery. I am not even vaguely used to wearing such baggy clothes, though over the course of the trip I do start to enjoy them. The city itself is fine-- the architecture is breathtaking, but every moment spent there feels a bit suffocating. Corruption oozes from every pore, practically begging for my intervention, but I made a deliberate choice not to seek justice while here, and so I do not act.

A short while into our trip, we run into Mizu, who tackles S’anah’to to the ground. Panicked, I peel the frenzied child off of him and hold her in time out while she makes aggressively angrier curses at me. Admittedly, Mizu behaving like a spoiled baby instead of the fully grown adult she is was a bit surprising, as I was under the impression that thaumaturgy took a fanatic degree of control to not, you know, kill everyone around you.

I had originally hoped for some time alone with S’anah’to at dinner, but Mizu ended up tagging along to lecture me about how great thaumaturgy is and how I am literally the worst for not buying into it. As bad as I feel for not being able to openly tell her that yes, it is cool, and yes, her books were very helpful, I feel a little less bad when she’s being so looney about it.

S’anah’to tells her that magic isn’t for everyone, which I of course agree with, since neither of my parents were ever much good at wielding it. Regardless, she won’t take no for an answer, and insists that I attend a live demonstration of her prowess. Once I finally agree, she dumps a bunch of gil on the table to pay for the bill and immediately runs out of the restaurant to ‘get prepared.’

Once we return to the apartment, we run into his mother. I don’t think I can express in words just how suffocating her aether felt-- like drowning in a pool of everlasting light. The thing with paladins and white mages alike is that if they aren’t careful, then over a few years the umbral aether can really start to build up within them. Even being in the same room as her felt so stagnating it was almost hard to move.

But I am not here to cause ‘drama’ with S’anah’to’s mother, so I keep my best smile, shake hands with her, and move along. He gets her sword and takes me into the bedroom with him, before he immediately proceeds to spend several hours writing down every minute detail that the blade possesses, from its curves to its runes. I’m fairly jealous of his ability to recreate it so accurately, and he asks if I want any ‘lessons’ on art, which I decline out of embarrassment, not wanting to make a total fool of myself.

The next day, we meet with Mizu, who seems to be teetering on the edge of insanity, but that’s nothing new. Honestly, the entire affair feels more like a street performance than anything, but she’s very committed to the showmanship of thaumaturgy, which I can respect. She spends several minutes channeling aether into her staff, but I am able to notice the faint traces of lightning which are running through her body.

Not to gush on about what exactly this means, but if she’s able to sustain so much volatile aether within her, then she must have more wisdom to her craft than she lets on to not let it literally annihilate her. Once the spell goes off, hell breaks loose. Lightning spills from the sky and decimates her target-- a large, helpless boulder in front of us. S’anah’to saves her life with a quick barrier to protect her from the shards of rock, but she is not out of the woods yet.

Luckily, S’anah’to is in front of me, so he does not see it when I actively channel my magic to pull the lightning aether away from the area around her now limp, unconscious body. Even the few seconds worth of redirecting lightning from a distance is enough to knock all the energy out of me, but Brick manages to drag her to safety before I lose my grip on the spell.

‘Good fortune,’ is what S’anah’to is forced to chalk it up to, but he has this glint in his eyes. ‘Very good fortune,’ is what he’s really thinking. The next hour or so passes by in somewhat of a blur as I struggle to keep up the appearance of having not drained myself completely to protect her.

After returning Mizu to the safety of the Thaumaturge’s guild to rest and recuperate, we go out to have dinner, this time nice and alone. After I eat enough to regain some of my strength, I start to really enjoy it. While we’re there, I overhear a small group of adventurers by the inn check-in, talking about paying some overdue fee or something like that. My eyes drift toward one of them with a grimoire like S’anah’to’s, which leads my mind to wander to him and his career.

“Is Arcanistry something you could see yourself doing forever?” I ask, taking a small sip of some Ul’dahn wine.

“Hmmm...yes, I suppose so.” He replies, leaning back in his seat. “I wanted to be a paladin for so long, but...I don’t know. Being an Arcanist is quite fun! I love the feeling of trying to solve the mysteries of the arcane.”

“Couldn’t you do that as a paladin too?”

“...Heh, yes, I suppose I could.” He takes a long time to ponder that. “...What about you?”

I almost choke on my drink when he asks. To be honest, I had never really taken a long look at the future before-- I was too busy focusing on the here and now. I’m not particularly fond of farming. It’s a lot of work for not much pay. Being a vigilante doesn’t exactly ‘pay the bills’ either, but adventuring is pretty close to that, right?

“I’m not...sure.” I say earnestly. I’m only barely able to sort out what I even want in the day-to-day, nevermind what I want to do with the rest of my life.

“Certainly nothing wrong with that!” He says confidently. “I only very recently discovered arcanistry, after all. Maybe you just haven’t found that thing that makes you real excited!”

“Adventuring work sounds nice, but I certainly don’t have the smarts to do what you do.” I say with a smile. He gives that a hearty laugh. Once we wrap things up, I ask if he wants to spend some time investigating the aforementioned geometric symbols around Ul’dah, perhaps with a more extended visit to the thaumaturge’s guild? His ears flop around quite a bit when you bring it up, and he looks like a child on Starlight’s day.

“You’re a man after my own heart!” He says excitedly, pulling up his grimoire and flipping through its pages.

“Hmmm...I guess I am.” I reply absentmindedly, in perhaps one of the most honest moments of my life. This makes him fall apart like a weak puddy, as he struggles to find even a phrase or idea to follow that fact up with.

Eventually, he proposes that we investigate the ruins of Sil’dih, which I have never heard of and know nothing about, but regardless I set to work setting up a group to investigate with. He says that Mizu will almost certainly want to come, so you really just need a fourth person to meet the Adventurer Guild’s standards of safety.

I chance upon another Au Ra man named Himoto who seems to be a bit lost and confused, sifting through some papers and posters. After striking up a conversation with him, I learn that he happens to be interested in investigating these ruins, seeking a jewel that belongs to his people. He is mostly quiet, but also strangely seems very happy that I approached him-- though, I never do hear him speak again during this little adventuring foray.

When I bring him back to S’anah’to, he has gotten completely wrapped up in his arcanistry as usual, but has drafted a few new spells to help us deal with the threats that lurk in the allegedly necrotic city. The plan is officially set for tomorrow-- and everything is wonderful. Until it isn’t.

On the way home, S’anah’to is fined by brass blade hooligans for the destruction that Mizu caused, and the fine they charge for the damage actually done is unbelievably large. If that wasn’t enough, the entire time this goes down, the brass blades are on the verge of drawing their weapons, practically begging S’anah’to to make a scene so they can brandish their weapons as “self defense.”

He resigns to their demands, and does not seem at all surprised or upset by this turn of events. He hands over the several thousand gil without a complaint. This, I decide, is the absolute worst kind of corruption in Eorzea. The kind that, however repugnant, the masses are completely numb to.

“Amajina and Sons thank you for your cooperation.” One of the blades says in a slimy voice. “Don’t go around causing more trouble, or you’ll be hearing more from us.”

“Understand?” The other leans forward, puffing his chest.

“Yes.” S’anah’to replies, perfectly calm.

“Yes?”

“Yes, sir.” S’anah’to punctuates.

“Good.” The two blades leave without further inquiry. When S’anah’to turns to me and sees that I am uncomfortable, he shrugs. This just is the way that it is. I promised not to make a scene in Ul’dah, after all, so there is nothing to be done. I haven’t my armor, nor my broadsword, and to intervene would only draw even more unwanted attention our way.

“You must intervene.” A voice which is not my own echoes throughout my mind-- guttural and intense. “This villainy can not be tolerated.”

I desperately look around to find its source, but there is naught to find. S’anah’to looks at me with concern, but eventually takes a stab at what is upsetting me.

“Don’t worry, Erden.” He gives me a pat on the back. “The blades don’t usually come back if you pay them like they ask. We’ll be safe on the walk home.” From his tone, I can identify a lot of things he is thinking but won’t say. ‘It’s better this way. The brass blades keep us safe, after all.’ or ‘Mizu will simply cover it.’ Sentiments which sicken me to my core.

I try to sleep the whole thing off, but I can’t. Periodically, that deep, violent voice reaches back into my mind and claws at me more and more. After hours of restless sleep, I finally decide to do something about it. I sneak out of the room and prop the front door open slightly with a kitchen knife.

The “Mineral Concern” in question operates almost entirely within the miner’s guild, though it is ultimately a separate entity, and of course owns a great deal of land near Ul’dah for excavation. I can’t risk being spotted, as the general lack of Au Ra men makes me stick out like a sore thumb. To compensate, I cloak myself in shadows as always and hide in corners whenever others move by.

The architecture of Ul’dah is strange and complex enough that this does not prove to be very challenging, especially in the relative quiet of night, even for such a bustling city state. Once I make it to the guild, I do not discover the chairman himself, but do overhear that some legislative paperwork is being delivered to him from the guild regarding a request they had recently submitted.

From here, the job is delightfully simple. I follow the delivery woman from the miner’s guild to just outside the chamber of rule, where he is leaving a meeting with The Sultana. The area is brimming with Paladins, so I wait until after he signs the paperwork and begins to head down the stairs towards his dorm. Once we are out of earshot, I ambush him from behind and knock him to the ground.

He lets out a horrible yell as he falls, which immediately causes nearby brass blades to rush towards us. While my veil of shadow is up, I am unable to use The Echo to peer into his soul, and so I simply draw my blade and get the affair over with.

“Chairman Fyrgeiss.” I raise my blade above my head. “Your path has disrupted the peace of this land by exploiting its weak and poor! For this, your life is forfeit!” In one fluid motion, I slice down at his neck and...miss. The chairman is far more nimble than he appears, and manages to roll out of the way of my blade and scramble to his legs.

Before I can take another strike, the nearby blades have shown up and each lunge at me. Since it isn’t exactly clear where I begin and end in a cloak of shadows, most of their blows miss entirely, but one manages to scrape my neck, breaking the choker S’anah’to gave me in the process. In response, I kick the one responsible with all my might, knocking him unconscious when he collides with a wall.

“You’re letting him get away!” The voice within scolds me. “Enough games! We have a job to finish!”

This upsets me a great deal, and in that moment, a surge of aether from myself caused my strikes to electrify my opponents, cooking them alive with each blow. I rush through the narrow streets after Fyrgeiss, and manage to knock him down again just outside The Gladiator’s Guild, and this time I end his life immediately instead of being dramatic and giving my monologue. The voice grows quiet, satiated.

As I hear more blades approach, I simply sneak my way back up to the paladin’s resting quarters, and lie waiting as most of them rush past me, and then return to the apartment. My mind races as I try to come up with a compelling lie for the choker’s damage, but I simply decide to play dumb. Oh my goodness! I never noticed it was damaged. Or, better yet, I may be able to find a time tomorrow to feign its destruction while we search the ruins.

The next morning, I sleep in due to the obvious exhaustion of a night of fighting, and see you staring right at me. We lie in bed together for a while, but eventually I turn to see the choker in perfect condition. Did I just imagine it? I must have, I decide, and so this is the lie I sell to S’anah’to and myself when he asks about my hesitation to put it back on. Perhaps it was all just a dream.

The ruins are uneventful in their entirety. S’anah’to doesn’t find much of interest, but at least Himoto seems to chance upon a cool rock, and I manage to find enough gil to cover what was stolen from us. S’anah’to gives it to Mizu, who seems to already know about the situation. This strikes me as odd, since I’ve been with S’anah’to ever since we both woke up this morning, and not once did they discuss the matter or exchange gil.

After a lot of brainstorming, I come to a chilling realization-- the truth. That S’anah’to took the choker and had it fixed all before I woke up. Does he know what I did? And, more importantly, does he know that I know that he knows? When we lock eyes, he has a sweetly condescending look about them. After looking at them long enough, pieces of his mind pour into mine as my echo takes hold.

“Thank you, Erden.”

And so I come to understand, that he knows that I have done these things-- these terrible, terrible things, but does not care enough to stop me, or accost me, or anything to that nature. Instead, he is happy with me, and feels safe around me. And, honestly...that is enough.