”Hi, Johan. I was wondering if there was a chance to meet up again. I would really like another chance to talk with you”. - Lucy

”When do you want to meet up?” -Johan

”Give me a few days to think about it. I'll get back to you later.” -Lucy

”Sure. No problem.” -Johan

Lucy could not keep her eyes from this brief conversation she had with Johan. Despite its brevity, so much weight was now put upon her.

'I just wanted to buy some time, but for what? Am I really going to meet this guy? This adult I hardly know. Why did I even send this? What was going on in my mind when I did?' She lowered her phone and stared at the ground. 'I know why I sent it. I don't want to say it, but I know why.'

The bell rings signifying the end of her classes. While all students were excited to go home, she simply sat on a bench. 'If I meet him again, am I going to get kidnapped? But he doesn't sound like a bad guy. I mean, we had a good time just chatting. But then again, that's what kidnappers do, don't they? But at the same time, I don't recall kidnappers being psychic. He knows about my dreams, something nobody else knows about. Can it really be that he's... he's...'

"Hey, Lucy," she heard her name shouted excitedly as Jenny approached her. "Oh, you're looking better now."

"Oh, yeah. I wasn't eating well and lost some weight. I'm getting it back."

"You lost weight? That's great."

"I was being unhealthy at the time."

"But you still shed some pounds, right?"

Lucy turned her head slightly and shifted her eyes away. "Why are you here?"

"Why not? We're friends, right?"

"Why don't you hang out with the other girls?"

"Nobody wants to be my friend, just like you."

She turned her head and gave Jenny an annoyed face, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Everybody thinks we're freaks. But that's okay, we don't need their respect."

Lucy looked at Jenny who had a big determined smile on her face, a contrast to her current demeanor. "What about that Jonah boy? Does he feel the same?"

Jenny's smile had disappeared. "Don't talk about that jerk."

"Something happened?"

"You bet. I thought he finally was going to ask me out. He said he wanted to show me something and it was at the back of the school. I thought it was going to finally happen. I thought he was going to take me to the back and he was going to ask me out on a date and tell me he likes me, and then we were going to finally kiss, and it was going to be a passionate kiss like in the movies, you know. And we were going to keep kissing even when the bell rings as he pushes me against the fence and puts his hand up my blouse and starts rubbing my-"

"Jenny!" Lucy says loudly. "Can you please get to the point?"

"Oh, sorry, anyway..."

As Jenny tried to recall where she was in the story, Lucy thought to herself, 'I think I now know why they think she's a freak.'

"Anyway," Jenny continued, "He took me to the back but he also took me to his friends. I thought, 'this is weird but fine, maybe he wants to show off to his friends or something.' Well, guess what happened. He gave me a box of chocolates, and I thought this was the romantic thing that I'd been waiting for. I told him, 'aw, that's so sweet,' and opened the box, and out comes a grasshopper. It was nasty! It jumped on me and I was screaming to get it off of me. And they all laughed at me as they ran away. Can you believe it?"

"Oh my gosh. I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks."

"It does. That jerk, Jonah. I can't believe it. I hate him so much right now. So I'm going to get back at him when I invite him to the back of the school and scare him. I bought this," she took out a box of gum. "But check this out," she pulled on the stick of gum slowly with her fingers positioned on the side. When it was at a certain length, a snapping sound was heard that frightened Lucy. At the end of the stick of gum was a spring trap. "That outta teach him."

"That seems kind of cruel."

"He shouldn't have done what he did. This is only fair. And then maybe I can steal a kiss from him."

"Kiss him?"

"I figured I can sneak it in when he's panicking. It's going to be great."

"That's not right. You're going to get in trouble."

"Are you kidding? Boys are like that. They like having girls kiss them out of nowhere."

"Where did you hear that?"

"I dunno. A YouTube comment, I think. It sounded convincing."

"You mean you still like Jonah?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

Lucy gave a silent chuckle. "Jenny, you're crazy."

"Oh, is that smile I see on you?" Lucy covered her mouth. "Don't be too embarrassed. I'm sure you'll find a boy you like too."

Lucy paused for a bit as she lowered her arm. She was no longer smiling and instead was more neutral in expression. "Jenny, can I ask you something."

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Well, remember last time, about me meeting up with that guy I talked to online?"

"Oh yeah. The one you wussed out of."

"I did not-" she rubbed her face before continuing. "You said you had no problem going out with a college student, right?"

"Yeah," Jenny said with a smile on her face.

Lucy could not help but stare at the smug Jenny with bewilderment. "Jenny, why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Why do you concern yourself with dating boys and stuff like that?"

"I dunno. That's just me."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't there any emotional reason? Like, something in your heart tells you that it may be wrong?"

"Sometimes, but that's why I carry my mace."

"I don't think you understood what I meant."

"And I sometimes don't understand what you mean, but it's okay. I just go with my gut."

"I figured that by now. You really like dating boys, huh?"

"Yeah... except I haven't dated anyone yet."

"That's not surprising, considering we just got out of elementary school."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, boys and girls, we didn't like each other back then. We thought we were, you know, yucky?"

"Yucky? But don't boys like it when you're yucky?"

"No. That's the reason why we didn't like each other, and kind of don't at present."

"I mean, my mom says so. I think I remembered I had one boy who was super excited when it happened to both of us. It was my first time too. I mean, sure, it's kind of weird, but when you do it too, you seem to understand it a bit more. I feel like if it just happened to one of us, it would be super weird and we'd freak out."

A look of consternation and confusion was all over Lucy. Trying not to decipher what Jenny could possibly mean, she simply asked, "You mean to tell me you liked boys back in elementary school?"

"Of course."

"Of course? What do you mean 'of course'?"

"Oh, now I know you're lying if you tell me you didn't like boys back then."

"I didn't, and I still don't."

"That's because I'm more mature than you, remember? Besides, you do like a boy. That college guy."

"Him?"

"Yeah. You say you don't like boys, but it's clear you like him."

"I don't even know him. I ran away when I met him."

"And now you're thinking of meeting him again, right?"

A surprised look was on Lucy. "Is everybody a psychic now? How did you know?"

"Wait, you're going to meet him again?"

"You didn't know?"

"I was just guessing. Oh my gosh, it's finally happening. Your first kiss is going to be with an adult!"

"Ew, no! What are you thinking?"

"Where are you going on a date? Huh? Tell me all the juicy details. I want to know what to do to attract a college boy myself."

Lucy's disgust was immeasurable at this point that she wanted to walk away. Yet, "Actually, since you've already figured it out, I'm thinking of just forgetting about the whole thing. I want to cancel it."

"Again?"

"Jenny, please. I don't get this whole boyfriend thing, and if that's you, that's fine. I don't care. But I'm not like you. I don't like boys. But... I must confess... I want to meet him. I don't know why but I feel like I shouldn't leave things like this. I feel like I should meet him one last time."

"Then do it. Meet him."

"But he's a stranger."

"So were we, and now we're friends."

"We're the same age."

"Our teachers were strangers too, but you talked to them just fine, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but they're teachers. They're to be trusted."

"If you can trust a teacher, why can't you trust a college student too?"

"Because teachers earned their respect. I mean, they're teacher."

"But haven't you heard? Some teachers take advantage of students. I noticed how my math teacher looks at some of the girls."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm telling you, this teacher, he looks at some of the girls with lecherous eyes. I think that's what my mom calls it. He's not my type so I'm not even going to try, but if he was younger..."

"You're not serious are you?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm telling you some teachers like young girls. You see it all the time in the news. You know, those involved in a scandal."

"Well... yeah, that's true... but they must be a minority. I'm sure those were bad people."

"And how do you know that? I'm telling you, my history teacher, I see it in his eyes."

"Knock it off, you're scaring me."

"And are you going to run away from school then?"

"No, but you should report that teacher."

"But he hasn't done anything wrong."

"It doesn't matter. He shouldn't be looking at young girls like that when he's a teacher."

"But you just said you trusted them. Now you're paranoid. It's all in the news, older teachers being with younger girls. But you said you trusted them without question, right?"

"What are you trying to say with all this creepy stuff?"

"I'm just saying, you can just trust a random adult because he's your teacher, but you can't trust a college student you became friends with?"

Lucy was at a loss for words as she just stood there, trying to come up with an answer. As Jenny gave her a condescending smile, Lucy blurted out, "Look, I don't know about this but I'm sure someone more responsible would suggest I not meet him. He could be a kidnapper. Your story doesn't change that. And unlike you, I don't have a weapon, and I don't want one either. I just... just... want someone to talk to, that's all."

Lucy's sadness had returned, prominently displayed for Jenny to see. "Why don't you talk to your mom?" Jenny asked.

"I can't. She's never around at home for me to ask."

"Do you have a dad?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't care about my problems either."

"Do you want to talk to my mom?"

Lucy was once again perplexed, "Your mom?"

"She'll make you feel better, I'm sure. She always wants people to feel good about themselves."

When Lucy's mind went back to the things Jenny said that made her stomach turn, "No, I don't think your mom may be able to help me."

"You have nobody to talk to, right? Your parents are not around, right? Then talk to my mom then."

"I don't know."

"Here, let me call her," Jenny pulled out her phone and started dialing. Lucy just stood in place with an awkward disposition but nonetheless waited patiently as Jenny answered. "Hi, mom... Oh good, don't get in the car yet to pick me up. I need you to talk to my friend who's having boy trouble... No, she's too shy to talk to you in person. She's one of those people." Lucy was now starting to regret her decision and wanted to leave but cursed herself for being too courteous to actually do so. "Okay, I'm going to pass her to you." Jenny offered her phone and Lucy reluctantly accepted.

Placing the phone next to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hi, Lucy. How are you doing?"

"Hello, Miss."

"Miss? No no no. Honey, call me Mitsy. That's a little nickname I gave myself when I was making my OnlyFans profile."

An extremely sour look was on Lucy's face that she turned around to keep Jenny from noticing. "Oh... nice... I. Don't. Know. What. That. Is. But. I'm. Happy. For. You.”

"But enough about me. You're having boy trouble?"

After she willed her initial shock to wear off, Lucy relaxed a bit, "I'm grateful that you would hear my problems but maybe this is something I shouldn't share with a stranger."

"What stranger? Honey, Jenny told me everything about you. We're like family now."

"Family?"

"Sure, I don't see why not? That's how friends begin. That's how people get married, they begin as strangers, no? Unless you're intending to marry your brother, in which case, fine, you got me on that one. But I know that you're Jenny's good friend, and thus I am your friend as well."

Upon hearing that former statement, Lucy's insecurities, her worries, and even her disgust at the addition in the middle, all washed away. She sniffed before she continued, "I don't know how to start."

"You can start by telling me who this boy is?"

"Well, this boy, he's not who you think it is."

"So it's not that college boy Jenny mentioned?"

Lucy spun around to see Jenny holding both her hands in a thumbs-up gesture, smiling ecstatically. She spun back. "I have a feeling that nothing is normal in your household."

"Yup. This is where you can do and say anything you want. No judgment, no regrets. That's my motto."

A strange feeling arose in Lucy, one that felt remorseful. But she also had another feeling, one that was starting to envelop the previous one and it was encouraging her to proceed forward. "There's this boy named Johan. No, he's a man. A young man. He's going to college."

"Is he cute?"

Lucy exhales quietly. "Yes, he's cute."

"Good. Good. As it should."

"Yeah, good. Anyway, when we met up the first time, I ran away from him. I got scared because I thought he was a kidnapper. But turns out that... well... he may not be a bad person after all. Should I meet him?"

"I don't recall how you even got to know him in the first place. How did you discover this Johan guy?"

"We chatted online."

"Chatted about what?"

"Well, in a way, about our dreams."

"That sounds lovely."

"Yeah, it was."

"How do you feel about him?"

"Well, I'm going to confess. I... have some feelings for him." A squealing sound made her jolt as she turned around and saw Jenny hop around with excitement.

"I see," Jenny's mother said, "And how does he feel about you?"

"Me? I'm not sure but... well... he sent me a heartfelt message, but I'm not sure what he means by it."

"Send it to me."

"You want to read it?"

"I'll evaluate it for you."

Lucy thought for a moment and then, "Sure. What's your email address?"

After getting all the details, Lucy pulled out Gmail and sent it her way. It took a minute before Jenny's mother replied, "You were chatting with this Johan guy?"

"Yes. We've been chatting for weeks."

"And you met up with him in person and then ran away."

"Yes."

"Do you remember what he looked like?"

"Uhh... kind of, but why does that matter?"

"What did he look like?"

Lucy thought for a moment, trying to recall Johan's face, but it was no challenge as it appeared before her so vividly. It was such a shock that she covered her mouth. "Heavy breathing, huh?" Jenny's mother said, prompting Lucy to remove her hand.

"I don't remember him."

"Okay then. In that case, I feel you should meet up with him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. Make sure you pick the spot, not him. If he insists, don't bother with him. Pick somewhere busy where there are a lot of people around for the sake of your nerves. Maybe take my Jenny with you for company."

"Take Jenny with me?"

"Yes, yes!" shouted Jenny.

Ignoring Jenny, "Are you sure?" Lucy asked.

"From what I can tell, he's not a bad guy. I'm looking for signs of any foul play but don't see any. In fact, he sounds heartbroken."

"But he could still be a kidnapper. You just never know."

"You're not wrong, but if he was, by this point he'd go for a much easier victim. Unless he's so persistent to chase you, I don't see why he would stick around, especially since you're not that attractive to begin with."

"Excuse me?"

"Tell me, Lucy, what makes you so sure that he's a bad man? Why so insistent on branding him something so vile?"

"Because he's an adult, that's why. An adult meeting a kid. That's wrong."

"You still see yourself as a kid?"

"In a way, yes."

"Okay. In that case, don't meet him. Forget this whole thing."

"Just like that?"

"If you don't feel like an adult, then go back to mommy and daddy."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"I'm just saying that if you feel like you're still a child, then you shouldn't be talking to strangers on the internet. If that's the case, then this is all your doing. Since you're a kid, you're not supposed to be talking to random strangers online. Look at what you've put yourself through. Your confusion, and what I perceive as misery, comes from your actions, and yours alone. If that is the case, go back to being cuddled by your parents, but I have a feeling that you're parents are not around. I'm not a psychic but I can just feel it by the way Jenny has talked about you, and by the tone of your voice. Don't get mad, I'm just saying it how it is."

"Wh... what... what are you saying? What are you trying to tell me? Why are you telling me all this?"

"I can only go by what my Jenny has told me and this email. You met up with him once and ran away, and now you want to meet him again, don't you? In fact, why did you request to meet him again if you are now changing your mind?"

"I don't know. It was in the spur of the moment. I really don't know and I wish someone could just tell me what all this means."

"Or could it be that nobody loves you?" Another lengthy pause as Lucy just stood there. "Are you crying now?"

"No!" Lucy said stubbornly as she wiped the tear coming from her eye.

"Look, I got to pick up my Jenny. If you want to continue this conversation, why not join me in the car."

"No, I'm definitely not doing that."

"Then I'm just going to say this before I hang up. If you can't decide what to do, then just follow your woman's intuition."

"My woman's intuition?"

"That's right. It should have sprung up by now."

"What makes you think I have such a thing?"

"Girls eventually get it when they have matured. If you don't have a gut feeling, then you're still a child. In that case, forget about him and move on with both of your lives. Go back to your loveless parents and continue to be miserable. But, if you have this little voice inside of you, then try listening to it once in a while. Maybe you're right, maybe you shouldn't meet him, or maybe you should. But it's clear to me that you can't decide this on your own and you have nobody else to talk to. In that case, just listen to that little voice inside of you. It's the only thing you have left, that is if you are mature enough to have it. Otherwise, you might as well remain a child for the rest of your life. Tell Jenny to wait for me by the gate please," and she hanged up.

She just stood there for a second, handing her phone over to Jenny without even turning. "Your mom told me to tell you to wait by the gate."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine. I just have some things to think about."

Lucy began to wander around the school premises. As she thought about all the crass things being said about her, one particular thing that Jenny's mother said stuck with her. 'Move on with both of our lives?'

--

It was nine o'clock and Lucy was still lying on her bed. Her bag pack was unopened, her wrinkled uniform still on, her phone set on mute. Not even her mother coming in and rambling disturbed her thoughts.

She took a deep breath and picked up her phone, opened Gmail, and typed her response to Johan.

"I've officially lost my mind," she said to herself before hitting send.