“So, what’s the result of the trade?”

“It’s not like we’ll see the return overnight, you know.”

“I want to know the result.”

“What result do you even want?”

“The update on that crypto you bought. Has it gone up? Or is it still down?”

“I’ve said time and time again, it’s not going to go up so soon. Just hold it and see.”

“How long will we continue to hold it then?”

“I plan to hold it for another year, just one more year.”

“What if the price continues to drop from there? What will you do then? Call it a loss?”

“It’s my own money, so why do you even bother?”

“Of course I bother. It’s your money, I don’t want to see you keep throwing your money away like that. It’s gambling.”

“Fine, whatever you say. Gambling, gambling. I told you to trust me already.”

I ate my food, making sure my eyes didn't leave the plate in front of me.

There’s no point trying to stop them anymore. There’s just no way to find peace in the family.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just want to know what your plan is so that I can budget.”

“I already told you, didn't I? It’s still down. Give me one year.”

“So then we count this one as a loss.”

“It’s not a loss yet. I can try to pull some out to some other trades if there’s any potential in them.”

That’s gambling.

I don’t know enough about the world of investing, but investing in NFTs, crypto or contract holdings. It’s especially bad in these times when there’s a downturn in the economy.

I also don’t know why my mom invests in these kinds of things.

I actually agree with aei. She should just stop trying to bet. I heard she put in a hundred thousand more in that crypto because she thinks it has potential to continue rising. Was this why they always complain about the lack of money?

If she pulls out now, she’ll be able to limit her loss. But if the crypto price actually rises, we would make a loss.

Better just stop trying to care.

It’s too late to save this family anyways.

I finished my meal and took my plate to the kitchen.

“Pu’er! Are you so blind to not see the other plates? Next time I’ll not cook your portion, is that how it is?”

“Why are you shouting at hir?! What did xe even do?!”

In silence, I turned back and picked up the plates and utensils from the turntable. Then returned to the kitchen where I began mindlessly sponging away at the plates.

I feel numb.

So numb.

I don’t even feel anything anymore.

Just stop.

Please.

Stop.

===

It finally came Friday.

I gazed out to the sky through the window from where I sat. It was a nice sunny day. Avner told me to meet him on the roof during lunch break.

Will he pick me up or will I have to go find him?

There was no class the entire day, the teachers only came in to take our attendance and chat around.

It was such a crazy week.

I was supposed to feel relieved that the exam was finally over yesterday.

Yet..

The pit of my stomach only grew as time passed.

What will Avner say?

I’m scared.

What if he actually doesn’t like me?

What will I do after that? I don’t know what else to do.

These thoughts occupied my mind. Brunette and Julien tried to talk to me, I was glad they were concerned about my situation. But I knew there was no way they could help me. I had to solve this myself.

Cailly, who was supposed to be with them, was absent today. Maybe xe thought there’s no point coming anymore.

How blessed they are to have a peaceful family to return to. I have to always live in fear. You never know when my parents will have their next argument. These days, I feel like their miasma gauge is going to explode.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

“Thank you class.”

“””THANK YOU TEACHER.”””

It was finally lunch break.

“Pu’er.”

“Alright.”

I followed behind him.

“Do you want to get your food first?”

“I already have bread.”

“Then wait for me for a bit. I’ll go get something.”

I nodded and decided to part ways. I’ll head to the roof first.

“Do you need me to get something for you?”

“No need.”

===

I sat on the bench, staring towards the cityscape just beyond the school gates. Compared to the surrounding buildings, the school is like a flat U-shape structure amidst the tall skyscrapers. The mismatched one.

Oh, and there goes a train whizzing by.

“Here.”

“Don’t need it.”

Why did you even buy me a drink?

“You’re alright with this place?”

“What do you want to tell me. Just make it quick.”

“I’ve thought about it for quite some time. How I should really answer you.”

Was it that difficult to come up with an answer? Oh, right. It’s difficult to reject someone.

“In short, I’m sorry. I can’t reciprocate your feelings.”

Ah. Yes. Just what I needed.

Your honest answers.

“Avner would’ve accepted it.”

“Of course he would have.”

I stood up.

“I’m not done.”

“What else do you have to say? You already told me everything I need to know right?!”

I began to shout. Oh.. crap.

I can’t contain my emotions. Just let me go, I’m going to cry. I have to cry.

My heart hurts.

I turned around and left– he grabbed my shoulders. I felt an electric current run up my spine and a chill in my empty, heavy heart.

“That night. The one who attacked me was you.”

“W-What are you even saying..”

“You have another you inside you. The you from your previous life is still alive. The reason why you don’t remember anything back then, or how you even got out of your apartment. It’s because of Pu’er Julis. Your previous self, that’s dwelling inside of you, whether or not you’re aware of it.”

He finally let go.

“I’m sorry. If you like, we can still be friends. I just can’t accept your feeling.”

Ha.. hahahaha..

I should’ve expected this.

Why didn’t he tell me earlier?

Things could’ve been so simple.

I wouldn’t have needed to create so many false hopes. Come up with so many excuses.

[My condolences, Pu’er.]

Even an AI couldn’t predict accurately if a person is in love with another.

How deplorable.

I turned around.

He was shielding himself from feeling, looking at me with those indifferent eyes. But I can tell very well. He too was affected by this.

“I hate you.”