《Undesired Power》Chapter 3: Similarities And Backgrounds And Also Swords. Part 2: Tears.
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When the door was opened, he saw a regular grey-colored room with a few small low tables, a coffee maker, a mini-fridge, and a closet. But the important thing he saw was Toroma in black clothing. He was wearing some type of black gi that people wore for Kendo but to Alex, it looked like he was some type of anime character. The gi had a separate part on the top that covered his chest and a bottom part that resembled a skirt. He also had a bamboo sword in his hand that he was practicing striking with, he was striking at the air for practice as Alex walked in. Toroma turned around as his black kendo shifted as he turned, his grey hair was in a man bun as he smiled at Alex coming into the room. He began to speak with his high-pitched feminine voice, his pink eyes looked into Alex’s eyes as he spoke. “Oh! Y-You came? Toroma said with a surprised and somewhat shy look on his face. He stuttered as he spoke toward Alex's face. Alex looked toward him with a big smile that was forced to help make Toroma less shy. “You look cool in that gi man.” “Thanks, I-I always wear it when I train. I should have gotten some t-tea ready, sorry.” Toroma said as he closed his eyes, he still had a worried and shy face on. “It’s alright.” “W-well ok, um sit down over there.” Toroma pointed over to a small low wooden table next to a corner and a pillow on the floor. Alex nodded as he sat down with his legs crossed and sat on the pillow. He smiled as he looked up to Toroma.
“I don’t really like coffee, do you have soda?”
“Y-yeah I do, I’ll get it now.”
Toroma went into the fridge and began to get a cup and a random soda bottle. Alex was watching him for a few seconds but after he looked down to the ground. Alex began to overthink this situation, he thought this situation was awkward. He was confused about why Toroma wasn’t mad at him for hurting Daizen. He wondered if Toroma was going to even bring it up, random thoughts filled in his head. He was just stuck, his head speaking to himself.
“Does he like me? Does he hate me? Am I worthless? I hate life?
What?”
Alex was just having random thoughts, but something quashed all these thoughts in his head. He heard a knocking sound which stopped him from thinking, he looked up as he saw Toroma standing over him and he had just put a cup of soda down on the wooden table. This quickly brought him back to reality. Alex put his palms and fingers together as he nodded his head forward.
“Thank you very much.”
Toroma sat down crossing his legs, He had his backpack in his hand and put it to the side of him. He reached into his bookbag taking out a notebook and a led pencil. After he was done with that he stared at Alex since he wasn’t saying anything. “So Alex, what island should we do, for you know the project.”
Alex stroked his chin as he tried to think of an idea. An idea came into his head, He had never been to the island he was about to say but he heard stories about it.
“What about Honshu?”
“I-I mean that could be good, Mrs. Ito said we first gather facts so what do you know?”
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Alex and Toroma continued to do their project together, they smiled and laughed as they hung out. They spent two hours together. Doing their project over time they brought out their phones, notebooks, and food to do their project and pass the time. They were on websites searching up Honshu Island and wrote down every fact they could find. Over time Toroma had begun to be more open with Alex, he stopped stuttering and started to smile and crack jokes. Alex was smiling. It wasn’t forced. He always was so used to forcing himself to smile and not being happy but when he was having fun it felt so natural. His mind was free and calm, he was having fun and not thinking of the events that took place today and yesterday. After a full hour of working Alex and Toroma decided to stop for the day, Alex looked towards Toroma that was sitting across from him.
“Hey, you watch anime, right?”
Alex asked, quickly smiling.
“Yeah I do, why?” Toroma nodded as he awaited a reply.
“What’s your favorite anime?”
“I-I forgot the name, it's about this guy named Ruka Kurabaki. He's a shinigami and fights evil spiritual monsters.”
Alex stroked his chin as he thought, he knew that the series sounded so familiar. He then remembered and looked towards
Toroma once more.
“Oh! You mean Blench right?”
Toroma nodded.
“I haven’t watched it in a long time, that’s why I got into Kendo. Well, my mom and dad forced me as well but that’s what really made me start doing Kendo and why I love sword fighting. Anyways sorry for rambling, what's your favorite anime?”
“Well, most of them are Shonen Anime. I can’t choose but my favorites are White Clover, Gaurto, Bu Bu Bakasho, and Bogo’s Bizarre Expedition, but mine doesn’t matter. It’s basic. I grew up with them.”
Toroma shook his head after Alex was done speaking.
“W-what do you mean? Of course, they matter, silly. Just like my anime opinions matter, so do yours.”
Alex laughed, shaking his head.
“Yeah I know, I know but I have no real reason for watching anime or should I say? I don’t have as much inspiration as you do from Blench about sword fighting and kendo.”
Toroma laughed slightly as he spoke again.
“Heh, I mean I guess so but doesn’t that make me a loser or an otaku like people say?”
Alex's facial expression changed as he got serious and stared at Toroma. He thought to himself for a few seconds about his opinion on what Toroma just said. He just admitted he was an Otaku like him so this means he had to ask a question. A question that he was somewhat shy to ask, no matter how simple it seemed Alex was still shy to ask it.
“Hey, do you wanna be friends?”
Alex bit his lips as he began to sweat, waiting to see what Toroma was going to say. Toroma smiled as he closed his eyes slightly. He began to express his feelings to Alex when he asked that question.
“Yeah! Sure, I don’t have many friends since I don’t stand out too much. I always looked at you as someone who expressed his feelings, ever since junior high you've been so loud saying you were an otaku and liked anime and you didn’t care what others said. You are so optimistic and brave! I could…never do that. To be honest, I always wanted to be your friend but I was always too shy to. This project kinda gave me an excuse to.”
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Toroma thought to himself, putting his hand on his chest. He thought back to middle school moments that made him inspire to be like Alex and have confidence just like Alex. Every time Alex laughed when people made fun of him. Toroma liked his optimism and how he just didn’t care what people said. Alex always expressed his opinions. Sure he was introverted at times but when he was being made a fool he always smiled and Toroma always watched. He always used to watch Alex, He wanted to be his friend with him but when it always came time to ask he always chickened out.
Alex was shocked, not only at Toroma accepting to be his friend but complimenting him. Alex didn’t know how to act, his face was blank, He didn’t know what to feel. He didn't know what to feel, He was filled with emotions and he didn’t know how to react. He was feeling happy, happy that someone liked him other than his friends and that someone complimented him. He was also shy, shy that someone looked up to him in a way, and how someone positively thought of him, but out of all of the emotions, he was feeling one of them was the most prominent and important. He was sad and he knew why he was sad because everything Toroma had just said was false. Alex was nothing like Toroma described him to be, he bit his lip as he continued to think to himself. Alex only smiled and laughed at people who made fun of him because that's the only thing he could do. He was weak and had nothing going for him, he always thought this, all he was a wannabe borderline hikikomori. He only smiled and laughed because he wanted to be happy and think that what people called him wasn’t true.
“What a weird kid. Loser. Trash. Look how weird he looks. Look at his spiky hair, He must be a delinquent.”
He wanted to believe all of this wasn’t true but deep down in his soul, he knew that it was. He wasn’t smiling because he didn't, he smiled because he wanted to cope. He held back his tears as he smiled and looked towards Toroma. It felt like a long time, but Alex had only been thinking for around 10 seconds. He spoke towards Toroma with sadness in his voice.
“I’m not optimistic or brave, I wish I was a good person, but I-I’m not. I’m a loser, I-I can’t even do school work right. I get terrible grades and disappoint everyone.”
A tear fell down Alex’s cheek, as tilted his head downward. He expressed all of his emotions. Toroma looked at him with a semi sad face. Alex got louder as more tears continued to fall, his face hitting the ground, He felt guilty about everything. He felt bad about hitting Daizen with a dodgeball. He felt bad about himself and his life.
“I even hurt Daizen! My friend and I b-bragged about it. Now none of my friends like me anymore and if they do, I don't deserve them, I-I don’t blame them either, I’m so w-worthless and weak.”
He put his head down in his arms, he continued to cry into his arms as his muffled cries suddenly filled the room. Alex had never cried in front of others, even though he wanted to. He never did, he always kept smiling, playing his sadness off as a joke, to make his friends happy, and to not show weakness in front of others, but this was different, Toroma was different from others he believed were more similar. Ever since he was awakened by him in his class early today, he felt like they were almost supposed to meet.
He didn’t know why he was feeling this way, the only thing he knew was why he was crying. His eyes began to swell and became red from all the tears that were strolling down his cheeks. Alex sniffled since snot was running down his nose because of his loud crying. Alex then thought to himself, speaking in his mind.
“Now, he’s gonna make fun of me. Call me a loser just like everyone else. I’m such a mes-”
Something happened that Alex wouldn’t have expected in a thousand years, he felt something touch his head and hair. He felt something stroking his hair, he tilted his head upwards as he then saw him. It was Toroma smiling, Alex was confused, Toroma’s left hand was stroking Alex's hair as his right hand grabbed the back of his head putting his face on his shoulder lightly. Toroma smiled lightly as he patted Alex’s back, in all honesty even though they just met today Toroma had always wanted to be involved with Alex. Ever since junior high, Toroma always observed Alex and liked his attitude.
Alex spoke, snorting up snot as he did so.
“Why are you hugging me, a loser like me?”
Alex asked the question ever so suddenly and confusingly, He didn’t know why Toroma wasn’t just laughing and making fun of him. He had been ridiculed since he came to America. He was shocked Toroma was showing some type of kindness towards him.
“Because I know how it feels to be worthless and weak. I’m a coward and a weakling.”
Toroma’s facial expression changed from one of happiness into one of sadness. His mouth changed to a frown as a tear ran down his right cheek. He began to speak louder as he held back his tears trying to be emotional around a person that was already crying. He kept his emotions in check as he spoke calmly to Alex.
He wanted Alex to understand that his friends weren’t mad at him, he was sitting with them at lunch and they didn’t seem angry. He knew that Daizen wasn’t mad at it, Daizen was happy that he finally lost at something. He chose his words carefully as he tried to make Alex feel better.
“I’m a coward, I always had no friends. Everyone avoids me because I’m too quiet and I can’t even stand up for m-myself.”
Toroma stuttered as more tears fell from his eyes. Memories of his past were coming back to him, He remembered getting bad grades and his father being disappointed. He remembered failing school work and kendo training, He could relate to Alex more than even Alex knew.
“I fail too, I disappoint my friends and family. So, if you're a coward, then I’m a coward too!”
Alex spoke up, backing away from Toroma he couldn’t come to terms with some being like him or liking him. He was shocked, he didn’t want to accept being somewhat of a decent person. “N-no you're not like me, I’m trash. I should just stay home. You're not as worthless as me, I hurt my friends, I should just die!”
“Don’t say that you'd rather die, we all make mistakes! Your friends still care about you.”
“No one in this world is trash like me, no one is similar to me.”
Alex said continuously ten times, he cried and kept crying his eyes were still swelling up. He was mad at himself for hurting his friend, he always loved and cherished his friends. Hiroto was the first one he met when he moved here. They were there for him when everyone else in the school didn’t like the “weird new kid”. Toroma stared at him and then stood up. He had a serious look on his face as he let out a deep breath. He walked into the middle of the room, he stood there as he then said something to Alex.
“No one is similar to you? Watch me.”
Toroma put his right arm in front of himself and then began to control his breathing. He focused on wanting to grow stronger, his eyes glowed white as a white color filled his iris and sclera.
Then something happened that Alex wasn’t expecting to happen. He didn’t think it was possible. His eyes wide as he watched what was happening right in front of him, he was shocked he felt like he couldn’t breathe. His breathing pace fastened as he spoke to himself in pure shock. He didn’t know what to say, he thought maybe that he was right? They were similar. He was in so much shock that he wiped his tears and stopped crying.
“How?!”
This is what Alex saw. He saw his newly acquired friend Toroma. After a few seconds of Toroma staying in the middle of the room, a bright light flashed Alex's eyes, stopping him from seeing anything. He rubbed his eyes after the light faded, he opened them slowly as they were in slight pain from the very bright light that had just flashed. When his eyes were open, he saw the sight that confused and scared him but at the same time, he was interested and happy. His tears were gone, he wasn’t crying anymore from what he saw.
He saw Toroma standing with a glowing white sword, but what topped it off for him was Toroma standing there. Toroma’s body was glowing white as an aura surrounded him. It seemed that Toroma could also use supernatural abilities. He was shocked. He didn’t want to believe what was right in front of him. Alex recognized this glow, it was like his own. He could do that too, wind began to blow throughout the room pushing Alex backward.
He felt a presence coming from Toroma that made his whole body shake. He could tell they were similar, but the difference between the two of them was that Toroma was stronger. He spoke out to Toroma as he stood up quickly.
“You're like me? How?
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