《No Matter What》23 | Feelings
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“Fuck, no.”
“Seb--”
“Those guys are crazy, right? We’re supposed to keep our distance from them.”
“They are a weird lot, but they’re also strong enough to face whatever we’re anticipating,” Persephone reminded him.
Sebastian shook his head. “No. Fuck, no. They can’t be trusted.”
“They—Wait, what do you mean by that?” Hayden asked.
“That he doesn’t want to collaborate with the Wiker Pack?” Lydia said, confused by whatever Hayden was trying to ask.
Persephone sighed. “We wouldn’t really be though; we’d just be asking Misha to keep an eye out. We don’t need to give her much detail.”
“No, I... We can’t trust them,” Sebastian stressed.
Edmund frowned. “Seb, if this is about them possibly finding out about me...”
“It’s more than that. Ugh, I don’t know how to explain it, but something is telling me not to trust them.”
Hayden nodded. “Well, we can’t take any actions if we’re divided on them. Even if it’s just the five of us keeping our eyes peeled, for now, it’s better than nothing.”
Everyone nodded in agreement and then the boys said their goodbyes before heading to school. There was an oddly tense silence between the pair as they drove. It was making Sebastian more and more anxious since, for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t tell what Edmund was thinking.
“Eddie?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re not angry with me, right?”
Edmund glanced over at him with a confused expression. “Why would I be?”
“I don’t know. I seem to just be making everything horridly complicated.”
“You didn’t have those dreams on purpose, Bas.”
Sebastian sighed. “Why can’t I just be normal.”
“Well, then you wouldn’t be my best friend, would you?” Edmund replied with a grin.
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Sebastian pouted. “Didn’t I say something like that before the first time you wolfed out?”
“Wolfed out?”
“Shifted doesn’t really sound as cool, does it?”
“Hmm, reminds me of Minecraft.”
“What?”
“Shifting.”
“Oh, yeah. See, it doesn’t fully explain what happened that night.”
“Neither does ‘wolfed out’, really.”
“Yeah, but it’s closer. You did turn into a wolf and then scare the crap out of Bruce.”
Edmund snorted a laugh. “Yeah. See, if you were normal, then that would make me even weirder.”
“Okay but you have cool werewolf powers and I have sleep deprivation and paranoia.”
“You’re not paranoid.”
“Then what’s with the enhanced fear.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s just called anxiety.”
“Still sucks.”
“I’m sorry.”
“This isn’t your fault either.”
“But your weird dreams did start with me and that other wolf.”
Sebastian paused. “I guess I can be grateful for them then. Or I might not have really understood what was going on with you.”
Edmund looked thoughtful at the statement but didn’t add anything. The silence between them now was much less thick. More like the comfortable quiet that Sebastian could usually enjoy with Ed.
“Do you think... that pack, the one that emerges from the darkness... could they be Wiker?”
Sebastian tensed and considered the suggestion. “I... It’s possible? The only wolf I’m ever able to recognise is you.”
Edmund nodded. “But the ones around us, you are sure they’re not Wiker?”
“Defiantly not, they... They’re with us. I’m not sure how to explain the feeling but it’s like... like we’re all connected, united against whatever comes our way.”
“Like they’re a pack of our own?”
“Yeah... What are we going to do?”
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“Keep our eyes and ears open.”
“I meant about finding you a pack, Eddie. Persephone said you’d need to find a pack and purpose, remember, or...”
“Or I’ll really wolf out?”
“Please don’t joke about this.”
Edmund sighed. “I know it’s important Bas, but there’s still time, okay? We’ll figure things out.”
“What if time is running out? We’re working on very limited knowledge about what werewolves do and don’t do. What if something happens to you and we don’t know what to do?”
“What would happen?”
“I don’t know? Some sort of need we’re not fulling makes you go crazy, or you eat something that’s poisonous to werewolves, or you start shedding.”
Edmund laughed loudly. “Shedding?”
“Hey, you never know,” Seb replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of his own lips.
Edmund shook his head. “I’ll be fine, Sebastian. After all, I have you.”
Sebastian looked down at his lap. “And what if I’m not enough? You need a pack, Eddie.”
The car stopped, and Seb looked up to see Edmund had promptly parked them at the side of the road and moved so he was practically sitting in Sebastian’s lap as he rubbed his arms comfortingly.
“I don’t care about finding a pack, you are more than enough for me. Long before all of this, I promised you I’d even fight death to stay by your side. Remember that?”
Sebastian smiled weakly. “You know I do. But-”
“But nothing. This changes nothing because no matter what, you are always going to be the person I need most. More than any pack or purpose or whatever the fuck else. We’re going to be okay, Bas.”
Sebastian sat for a moment, lost in the heartfelt words. His heart was aching in a good sort of way from how they’d touched his very soul. At that moment, all that mattered was him and Edmund. Then again, Edmund always seemed to be all that mattered to him. They cared about each other too deeply. Sebastian loved him too deeply.
He leaned his head forward to rest on Edmund’s chest and sighed. “I trust you. But I’m still going to do whatever I can to help you.”
Edmund hummed and hugged him. “I know. Thank you.”
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