„We recognize the sins in others, but we experience it by ourselves”

„Strange feelings are taking over my chest right now. It is something I have never experienced before: an amalgam of emotions, regrets, and hopes for a better future. But will it be this way?” were the words that Eva wrote in her diary before leaving the house which they say that has been her parents’home.

Actually, she had never felt at home in that house. She even remembers that she felt that her home could be anywhere, and this was because she had experienced that feeling of being home in so many places before returning to Image. That's why she had always wondered why she felt like this when her mind told her, so many times, that Image was and has been always her home, for that village was her father's hometown, a place that she had to love. But even so, even after long struggles with herself, Eva never got to love that place as she would have liked to love it.

But that moment of awkwardness, Eva felt it even more powerful at the moment when, returning from the lake, she saw the black, elegant carriage of Beneath leaving the yard of their home, and the fact that Brian never looked back, even for an instant to see her, made her feel as if the dreams suddenly left her body, abandoned her, hurrying her to hit the road on that unknown road, a path without return, actually. Then, she felt that painful pressure in her chest, even deadlier at the moment she spotted Alfred, standing in front of the window from his office, staring with hatred and with a devilish grin on his face behind the carriage that was losing its traces in the shadow of the road, guarded by tall trees on both of its sides.

„What's this?" Eva wondered, in her head, touching her chest. „A mad fight with the destiny, of an afternoon when even the sun seems to struggle with the world not to be sunken in the horizon of the dusk? Maybe a hunch that presses my chest? Or... maybe is this that feeling of being afraid to leave the places I know? But I don't get: why does my heart beat so fast for a stranger that leaves without even looking back for a second? I saw him for a few minutes only. I don't think that I feel for him more than I've ever felt for any other being met in my way. And yet, my heart beats as if being in love."

But soon she understood that it wasn't her heart, that was beating so mad in her chest, which made her feel that anxiety so vivid inside her. It was something that she discovered in Alfred's glance who was staring after Brian's carriage that was hurrying away from those places. And namely that strange, devilish blink from his eyes made her shudder, from top to toe:

„They are rivals!”

And this broke her innocent heart at that moment, for the object of her adoration was someone that her father considered a rival and she didn't understand why it was so. Also, she felt that she was lacking power, that nobody was telling her anything, and that she was completely out of touch with reality. But even so, she felt that there was more than a simple rivalry there: it was an unfinished story between that stranger and her father that was staying between the two, and that, namely because of this, that story won't be ever about her.

But even if Eva had liked to spend hours or days in a row looking for answers to all the questions that were spinning in her head, answers that could have helped her to discover that mystery, she hadn't enough time, for right after Brian's carriage had been lost at the horizon, another red one entered their yard, shortly after this.

Seeing that elegant carriage, with a lot of red and black on it, entering their yard, Eva stared at it for long, till the teamster, a man about forty, stopped it. Then, the girl saw that teamster jumping from the driving box and hurrying to open the door of that carriage and help his master to get out of it.

But instead of an old man or of a self-important lady, Eva saw, in amazement, a young lady about 30 getting off of the vehicle and namely her movements while getting out of the carriage, supporting herself by the hand of her teamster, turned Eva's attention to it.

Then, after that young lady approached the girl, Eva could find out that the name of that lady was Emily Davis, and the fact that they were standing so close one of the other allowed the girl to look at her from close: she was a lady who others could say that she has already past her prime, but who still looked very well, especially due to the Victorian style of her haircut and of her black clothing which was giving her the aura of a noble lady, and this was also well seen in her gestures, in her way of slowly approaching others, with her back straight and with her head rose, looking right into the person's eyes. And, the port of that lady reminded Eva about the ladies and Misses from the Royal Court, about who she read in her books, but who she never saw, for she had never left Image since they had returned to the village.

And, while staring at Miss Davis, Eva remembered about her books and about love, those she read once, for those books weren’t only boulevard books, but there were also books that were teaching the reader about manners, how should he act in society or while meeting a person from High Society, for, in that big wooden bookshelf, Eva didn’t find only mediocre love novels, but also good books that she loved so much.

To be honest: even if Eva felt somehow weird and clumsy at that moment while staring at Emily Davis not knowing how exactly should she had to behave, for she learned about it only from books, she also was perfectly aware that she hasn’t why to be ashamed of this, for the majority of the girls of her age learned about love and manner from books, for nobody was enough eager to stay and to explain them about the men’s character, about what love or life means, or how an in-love person should act. That’s why they learned everything from books, and also a male character became the first man they ever loved, a character from their favorite love novels that was also their first pattern about how their future husband should be.

And Eva also fell in love, for the first time, with a novel character, and she started to dream about such love like that one discovered while leafing a novel, reading, on its pages, the real story of the characters, something that made her also feel as if she was a character, but one which lived in a real world.

Actually, she still remembered the smell of a new book that she received as a gift from her last step-mother, only a few weeks before her death, and even if that gift was weird for her, for she wasn’t receiving that many gifts, Eva considered that book something important for her and she was so happy.

And her happiness had a name, too - „The Path to Paradise,” and, from the first read page, Eva felt captivated, dragged into that phantasmagoric world, where two lovers, that had been once separated by the caprice of fate, met again. Yet, that book wasn’t only about the breakup. It was also about a second chance, a chance that the two lovers received from life when they were in their thirty and, after long inner and external struggles, after many ups and downs, they finally understood that their hearts can be saved only by the love of the beloved person.

That’s why Eva started to dream about such love, to live such an experience, to have a breath of fresh air in her boring life, to meet someone who’ll love her forever. Also, she dreamt about meeting a Romeo that’ll be always ready to die only not to lose her, to show her what love means, and who she will also love forever. But eventually, Eva had been forced to turn back to reality while she was already inside of that cold carriage, sitting next to that stranger, Miss Davis, and heading toward a new life.

And, when she understood how fast was everything running in her life and that she was finally leaving those places she had wanted to leave so many times, Eva didn’t even look back.

„Why to do that?” she wondered. „Why be interested in a world that isn’t mine anymore? I have no reason to look in the past, worrying about it while I leave it behind me when there are so many other things I have to worry about in the future.”

Yet, even if she didn’t want to take with her that world she was leaving behind, Eva remembered the moment when Miss Davis’teamster put her small bag behind the carriage, in the load compartment, how he later climbed to his place, in the driving box and hardly pulled the reins, and what Eva felt at the moment the carriage got off the ground it was something similar to what an on-death row feels while climbing the stairs of the scaffold.

But, even if she saw the pain in the girl’s eyes and that she wanted to leave that place as soon as possible, Miss David told the teamster: „wait a minute, Albert!” Then, she slowly turned to Eva and told her: „maybe you want to say goodbye to someone?”

Eva instead stood frozen for a few moments, not understanding if Miss Davis told those words to her or not. Then, when Emily told her: „Miss Stonebridge, we’re leaving! If there's someone or something you want to take leave of, you should do this now, for...,” but Eva shook her head that she didn’t want that.

„There’s nobody here who cares about me. So, we can leave!” she said, staring with a lost glance at the distance that was barely seen through the carriage’s window which the night was surrounding with sneaked-out steps.

And namely that distance, seen in a weird way through the shed tears that were flowing on her cheeks, made the painting of the autumn seem also tearful: with tears of rain which weren’t shed only by the eyes of the innocence, but also by the sky as if those pure drops would have been signals of the cruel future that was about to come and which was also about to transform Eva’s innocent eyes into the ones of a beast.

But the rain from Eva’s soul wasn’t healing, but destructive, for it was making her feel so small and so insignificant. And Eva would have wanted to escape, to run away from the world, to stop that carriage that was rushing toward the future, and to also run away, far-far from there, where nobody would have ever found her and where even life would have probably forgotten about her. But the girl hadn’t such power. And, to survive, she had to accept, eventually, that she was a captive: not only of her weakness but also of the entire world toward which she was heading.

And Eva felt that the rain from her heart was ravaging also because she left Beth behind her, for she knew that that kid will cry a lot in her absence. But Eva preferred to be like that, to leave without saying goodbye to her good friend, for she didn’t want to also drag her into that savage world that was about to swallow her, for she loved Beth too much to allow others to destroy her future too. She preferred to leave Beth to those places, in the care of a house that wasn’t hers, with a foreign father who she called „the Master,” and who grew her up too, as he did with Eva, just for his own convenience. But Eva also knew and very well actually that Beth’s innocent soul won’t be ever stained by rust, by ashes, or by mud, for that simple girl, who grew up in the arms of nature and of that village, was the daughter of Image, was the girl of the world and of its madness.

Suddenly, when the carriage was a few dozen kilometers from Image, Eva heard Beth’s voice in the distance, calling her name. And, like in a dream, Eva turned her head and saw Beth running behind that carriage.

„Miss Stonebridge. Miss Stonebridge! Wait! Don’t dare to leave without saying goodbye to me. Do you hear me, Miss Stonebridge? Don’t dare to...wait!”

But Eva hadn't the slightest desire to wait. And, hearing only fragments of what Beth was saying while running, she looked in front, wiped her tears, and hardly squeezed her small and puny fists.

Miss Davis watched her in silence. Then, she looked behind and saw Beth still running behind the carriage. But, even if she was more than able to ask Albert to stop and to allow the girls to say goodbye to each other, she preferred not to do that and just to wait, in silence, for Eva’s answer, which was late to be heard.

Eventually, understanding that Eva won’t change her mind, Emily shouted to the teamster: „faster, Albert! It’s getting late!” And Albert right away pulled the reins, saying no word, and his good friend, Bachaco, listening to his command, understood the message and started to gallop.

And that gallop of the horse has been also well felt inside the carriage that started to violently rock on its metallic wheels, for even if that was a good carriage, the road they were crossing onto was bad enough, especially after the heavy rains in those recent last days and more with that rain that was about to be scattered again from above.

Eva instead cared neither about the gallop nor about the road: her mind was closed for the world at that moment and she didn’t look back even for a second, for, even if her heart was squeezing itself in her chest because of the desire of seeing Beths’face once again, Eva was aware that it would have been worse. That’s why she looked only in front of her, but never back, for if she had looked back, she would have taken Beth with her for sure, and, maybe thus, she would have destroyed her future, too.

And, if she had looked back, she would have seen Beth on the ground, calling her name. But so, only Miss Davis saw Beth on her knees, in that cold mud, touching her injured leg. But even so, even if she was hurt, Beth continued to crawl after the carriage, desperately intending to impede that cruel destiny to take place.