“Memories remain memories even if you don't want to remember them”

By the time Eva woke up from her troubled sleep, it was already late in the morning. She felt awake, but something inside her was telling her to keep sleeping.

Eva had been already awake and had not the slightest desire to continue in bed, but the weariness that had been encompassing her was forcing her to do something against her will.

She felt her head heavy, laden with dark and twisted thoughts and a bitter taste was stinging her tongue. She didn’t eat anything since yesterday morning and because of this Eva was confused about where this strange taste reached her mouth from. Also, the girl was wondering about the deaf sound she was hearing in her ears, deep inside, like something was slowly boring her temple or maybe the jaw.

The bed was still cold even if she spent all night on it. In the room was already burning a warm fire in the chimney and even if she couldn’t see it, she was feeling it to the top of her pore. It was something strange, something she couldn’t explain and she was wondered about it over and over again." Why didn't she feel anything when a stranger entered her room and lit the fire? She should have awakened only hearing the foreign creaking of the door", but she had heard nothing and this was something that made Eva think, maybe only for a moment, that in this strange big house ghosts are serving and because of this she had felt nothing last night.

Eva had finally decided to open her eyes and the first thing she saw was the immaculate white of the ceiling. Soon after she understood that actually, a white transparent curtain lined the brown-wooden ceiling of the bed. Besides the bed, other white transparent curtains were surrounding Eva as if it had held her captive in a far-away story tower where she was a princess, somebody’s lover and that she was waiting for him to come and save her. And because the beau was so late to show up, Eva got off the bed.

The room was medium-size, clean, and warm. A white big window from the East was fully illuminated by the autumn rays of the sun, still quite generously lighting despite the middle autumn time.

Approaching the window, Eva looked outside. Nature had awakened a long time ago and, at that moment, under the warmth of the sunshine rays, it was shaking the drops of numbness off its leaves.

Eva had felt amazed by this view. Somewhere in the neighboring tree, a squirrel is jumping from one branch to another, carrying in her little paws a peanut. The scared and cute animal was carefully looking around to notice, at times, a possible danger, because she was convinced to not let anyone steal from her the precious grain of life she had carried in her paws.

“Tuk-tuk. Tuk-tuk”, Eva imitated the squirrel's heartbeats. A large smile appeared on Eva’s face while she was watching that little fluffy, red animal that was free, and somehow Eva was jealous of that freedom the squirrel had.

Turning her back to the squirrel, Eva looked at the room. The big bed was filling a quarter of the room. On the left of the bed, is a small walnut bedside table. About 7 drawers skillfully cut the fine wood and some small metal handles were hanging on each one of the drawers.

Above the table is a medium-sized mirror. Eva approached it and, looking into the mirror, she admired her sweet face that was still looking fresh even after a night of tormented sleep. She didn’t remember the reason for the bad sleep. Perhaps she had a nightmare or she remembered something unpleasant, but no matter how much Eva was trying to imagine what she had seen in her sleep she understood that it was impossible. The nightmare was stubborn to remain a mystery and Eva left him to do its will and she approached the bookshelf now.

The furniture was full of books kept clean and careful, a sign that they were something valuable for the person to whom they belong. About 10 shelves were carefully arranged along the wall. On each shelf were books arranged in alphabetical order, but there was something interesting in their arrangement: red-white-black, red-white-black, and one green and again the same arrangement. Eva’s curiosity became intense. “Why they are arranged this way? Why exactly these colors and not differently? Is this having some importing meaning?” were the thoughts that were crossing Eva’s mind.

Being completely absorbed by the books’ magic, Eva didn’t notice Miss Davis entering the room.

“It’s an imitation of a gambling table”, said Miss Davis who is approaching the bookshelf and she stopped at Eva’s left side.

“Gambling, again”, said Eva to herself. “Why? Why is this game so important for many? Why don’t they see that it is something destructive? She was sold because of gambling and entering this house, she met again something that reminds her about gambling. The irony of fate?”

“I love mystery”, continued Miss Davis without paying attention to Eva’s target gaze on her. “Somehow, gambling is reminding me about the intense power of Magic and thoughts. You never know what the person in front of you is thinking about, you can guess only what he has in his hand: a full house, a straight or High card. And the tension the players are feeling while waiting for their opponent’s move is increasing with each breath, with each beat of the clock, with every cold drop of sweat running through your body, from top to toe.”

Hearing these words, Eva smiled. “What stupidity!”

“Why?” asked Miss Davis, by no means moved by Eva’s words.

“How can a destructive game be something that brings Magic? We both know why I am here and this definitely is not something that increases my feelings. I barely can call it betrayal, and this is something I always felt each time my father had lost a poker game”.

“This is not the game that is filling you, but it is definitely something that increases the adrenaline in your father’s chest. Until you try it you can’t say how it feels”, continued Miss Davis while taking a few steps through the room and approaching the bed she sits down on.

“Have you ever played poker, Miss Davis?”

“Once or twice.”

“And brought this to you some happiness?”

“I didn't play it because I was waiting for happiness from it. I just did it because I was doing it for fun only”.

“For fun?”

“Yes. You know, sometimes people need the challenge to feel alive. Especially men who had been born with the spirit of adventure deep growing inside their nature. Women are different. They feel fulfilled if they have a good husband, children to look after, and from time to time they can go out and fill the hole inside them with the Magical wave of society. Accept it, when somebody tells you a compliment you feel that your chest is filled with some strange wave of energy, your heart starts to beat faster, you feel dizzy and if that person is a handsome man, you can even fall in love with him. Not the same happens with the men. They will never feel that’s enough with only loving a woman”.

The manner Miss Davis was talking about it, made Eva wonder about the truth of those words. She knew that was a seed of truth in their meaning, but she couldn’t understand what was this. In a way, it was the first lesson Miss Davis was teaching to Eva, but the young girl, being too involved in her confused feelings couldn’t see it.

Emily looked at the young girl and a kind of strange feeling had filled her chest. It was something sweet, maternal and at the same time a strange desire to protect her. Why? She hadn’t the minimum idea about it. She was never somebody’s mother and she never thought to become one, but now, in the instant, she understood how much Eva had suffered in her short life, made Emily compare herself with this sweet young lady who so many painful trials are awaiting her over the years to come.

“Why red-white-black?”, Eva asked.

“There is green there too”, pointed out Emily.

“I saw it, but it mostly predominates red and black and white”.

Emily stood up and a kind of a sigh of regret came out of her chest.

“White and black are like the piano tiles.”

“And the red?” asked Eva, being this time too anxious to find out the story behind all these hidden messages Miss Davis was sent to her through her story.

“It’s the color of blood”, thought Emily. “All that blood spelled because of me, each time I was involved into an intrigue”, continued to roll the thoughts in her mind, but she couldn’t find the words to tell it in her voice. She had felt that everything that happened to her all that time she had spent in Christine’s house was a kind of balance between good and bad, truth and lie, death and life.

Christine helped her to become someone important in this society. Emily had to admit that and the fact that now she has so much influence was also due to Christine’s plans and her way of thinking, and the same tricks she had taught Emily. But Emily was also sad because she never could make her own choice. She always was somebody’s shadow or lived her life in the shadow. She never loved and never had been loved by anybody. She never could call a man “my love” and she hadn’t dreamt about giving birth to a new life. And it wasn’t because she couldn’t love that little creature, but because she had found out so much about the dirtiness of this society and how difficult it is to live in it. Emily felt it on her own skin and she didn’t want anybody else to feel it too, but when Christine told her that she has to go to Immaje and bring Eva into their house, Emily understood that her dream about ending “Red Ants” ‘activity, when she will die, was something impossible now.

“Miss Davis?”, Eva’s voice had been heard by Emily like something from far away. And saying no word she stared into Eva’s eyes. “What Magical wave of splendor”, admitted Emily. “They are like the clear sky on a sunny day. They are fantastic and at the same time so sad”. Even if she wanted to see those eyes brightening with happiness, Emily knew the cruel answer that was waiting for the young girl behind that door, descending those old stairs and entering Christine’s office. But it was something beyond Emily’s power and she could only obey it.

“Dress yourself and come downstairs”, said Emily with a demanding voice this time. “A guest is waiting for you”.

“A guest? Who?”, asked Eva with a wave of interest and regret in her voice.

“You must see it with your own eyes. Don’t be late and … yes, be sure you are dressed properly. It can decide your future”.

“To dress properly”, thought Eva. She brought with her only a few dresses and those aren’t proper for someone’s important visit.

“In a few moments, Anna will come to help you to dress, and don’t worry about your vestment. You don’t need to use what you brought with you. You will have your own wardrobe here and it definitely will be something that you will love or at least I think that it will be this way”.

Finishing her thoughts, Emily left the room. Two minutes later, Anna entered the room. She was a girl about 18, an orphan that was brought here only a few days ago with the main purpose of serving Eva.

Anna somehow reminds Eva about Beth. The same chubby silhouette, short legs, and arms, but she hadn’t Beth’s curled red hair and the freckles were also missing. Anna had clean dark skin and hair of the same color. Her eyes were brown and in them was mirroring the innocence. She became an orphan five years ago and until Miss Christine brought her to London she had wandered from house to house suffering, misery, and abuse, but aware that she hadn’t anywhere else to go she was forced to accept everything in silence. And now she was here and she had no slightest desire to leave all this security behind. This is her refuge and it will be forever.