Fand felt Pyre’s hand slip to of hers. He said he would stay. Where was he going? He must not go. If he left she might lose him forever. A fog hovered in her brain. She tried to push through it, but could not. The sound of the door opening and closing sent panic through her. Pyre was gone! He was gone.

A cool hand touch Fand’s forehead. It was a female hand and the woman smelled of lavender. Gently she said, “It is all right. He will soon be back.”

The voice was one Fand had heard before. This woman had been taking care of her. Who was she? A nurse?

The door opened and closed. A man asked, “How do you think she’s doing?” Fand recognized his voice. It was the doctor who had been tending to her.

The woman said, “Her heart seems a little steadier. There has been a slight improvement in her color. Most of all the fact that she actually regained consciousness is a very good sign.”

“Yes,” said the doctor. “It is a very good sign. As for you, you are looking a bit worn. You need rest. Now go get some, Doctor’s orders.”

“I will.” When the woman walked away from Fand her petticoats rustled. The door slid open and then closed.

While the doctor examined her, Fand tried to push through the fog that bound her. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t breech it. To her dismay she felt herself sinking. The door slid open. Someone stepped inside and the door closed. A familiar smell came to her. It was the scent of Uncle Wert. He smelled of earth, soap and salt. Her eyes shot open and she looked at her her uncle.

Uncle Wert pushed passed the doctor and knelt down beside her. He kissed her cheek, which was something he never did. She felt his tears drip onto her face. In a hoarse voice he said, “Thank you for coming back to me girl. You are all I have left.” His eyes looked deeply into hers. He had not loved her well over the years, but he had loved her as best as he could. He took her hand in his. “Oh, my little one. Do you know me?”

She nodded her head. This was a face she had not expected to see again. And here he was alive and well. It was a gift and a miracle. Behind him, Pyre stood. She could feel the focus of his eyes upon her. She could feel his heart reaching for her. The damned fatigue began to tug at her again. It pulled her down and down. Oblivion.

*

The sound of the door sliding open and closed, filtered into Fand’s sleep and woke her. She struggled to open her eyes. They refused to cooperate. A male hand took her wrist and checked her pulse. Her eyes flickered open. She saw the blurry image of a young man. Beyond was the familiar form of Resen. Why was he still here?

As the man examined her his features became clearer. There was something vaguely familiar about the face. Had she seen him before or did he just resemble someone? Who?

The young man looked down at her and said, “So, you awake.” His smile was genuine and warm. His kind blue eyes met hers. His eyes reminded her of Zog’s. He had blonde hair pulled back in a braid. The robe he wore was cream colored with green stitching.

Desperately Fand wanted to speak, but she couldn’t get anything beyond her tongue. Who this man? The instant he took her left hand in his, she knew who he was. He was the gentle presence that had penetrated her pain. Snatches of his voice came back to her in memory. This man had been with her even more than Pyre. His name was, what was his name? She must have heard it.

Aloud, he answered her silent question, “I am Loren Uhr. Assistant to Dr. Kran. You and I have spent a lot of time together over the past two weeks.”

Two weeks? Had she been here that long? She wondered, Where am I?

Again he answered her, “You are in the Infirmary in what is left of the Council City.”

What remains? What he did he mean? He could read her thoughts. Was he member of the Council like Pyre? If he was reading her thoughts he didn’t bother to answer any of those questions. Fand wondered, How much longer will I be her? Will I be able to go home?

Loren gave her a gentle smile and said, “We don’t know yet how long you will be here. You must get much stronger before you can go anywhere. For now, focus on getting better, all right?”

When Loren finished his examination. Resen came to her cot and knelt down on the floor. He smiled at her, but there was something odd about his smile. As his eyes roved over her face, she felt a hint of revulsion in them. He completely avoided looking at her left side. For the first time she wondered about the extent of her injuries and what she must look like. A mirror, she needed a mirror, but she did not have the strength to speak much less ask for one. Her eyes sought out Loren’s. He was watching Resen. There was hostility and even dislike in his gaze. Why would he dislike Resen?

When Resen took her hand, Fand noticed they were covered in burn marks. Where had all the burn marks come from? His hand tightened over hers. In that instant she felt trapped. Why? He was too close, but he had been close before. Just as Resen was lowering his face to hers to give her a kiss she did not want, Loren said, “That is enough. Fand is too weak to tell you if she wants to be kissed or not.”

Angrily Resen said, “Stop being such a bastard.” His hand hand tightened over Fand’s with a possessiveness that sent alarms off in her head and in her heart. What was going on with him?

In a calm and even voice, Loren said, “A bastard will can never stop being a bastard. Now leave, or I will call the guards.”

Resen like he was letting go of trash. His eyes briefly met Fand’s. In them she saw full blow revulsion. Again, she felt so ugly. Was she now damaged goods? Yes. If so why was he insisting on his love for her? He stomped out of the room.

A few minutes later door slid open and Pyre stepped into the room. He smiled at Fand. The warmth of his smile took away some of the sting of Resen’s reaction to her, but only some of it.

She held out her hand to him and he took it. He looked down at her and asked, “Are you okay?”

Not really. What did Pyre see when he looked at her? Was she ugly in his eyes too. Tears welled up and slid down her cheeks.

Pyre knelt down beside her and asked, “What is wrong?”She couldn’t tell him. Though her grip was weak she squeezed his hand. She was so thankful he was here with her now.

Loren said, “Say a prayer with her, then I need to give her, her medicine.”

“All right.” Pyre began the family prayer. It was a prayer of unity and love. Pyre was family, he had always been family. When he finished, he gave her hand another tender squeeze. “I will see you in the morning. Good night.” He released her hand. She didn’t want him to go, but he had other duties and he couldn’t stay with her all the time. The doors slid open and he walked out.

As soon as the doors closed, Fand silently asked Loren, Am I ugly?

Anger flared in his eyes. It was anger he quickly tamped down. He said, “No, Fand. With those eyes, you could never be ugly. Right now you look very different than you did. In time your hair, eyelashes and eyebrows will grow back.”

Fand put her right hand on her head. She felt the stubble of her hair. It was gone, all gone. Her hand traced her eyebrows, they too were stubble. She touched her eyes lids. Tiny hair were growing along their rim. Her fingers moved over her face and she felt her scars. There were so many of them as many as Pyre had. When she first saw him in this room her eyes had seen him with love. She had not been repelled by his scars. He had not seemed repelled by hers. At the time it had been easy to dismiss them. Now that she was aware of her own scars, she couldn’t dismiss his scars. He had suffered greatly, more than she knew. Tears began to slip from her eyes and slide down into her ears. Once again the old regret surfaced. She should have said yes when he asked her to marry him. They would have been spared so much…if only she had said yes.

Loren came to her. He had a packet of powders in one hand and a cup in the other. “It is time to take your medicine. He poured the powders into the cup and handed it to her. The medicine was bitter and it stung her throat.

When the medicine had begun to take effect, Fand found the courage to silently say, I want to see my reflection.

Loren pretended not to hear.

Again she said, I want to see my reflection. He still feigned ignorance. The third time she repeated her words he finally said, “It is too soon. You need to give the salves some time to work.”

In her mind she asked, Was Pyre given those salves?

Loren flinched. “Unfortunately he did not have access to the medication you are receiving. If he had, the scars would be faded by now.”

Anger surged through her. You don’t know that?

Firmly he said, “I don’t know but I believe.”

Belief was a tricky thing. Believing in something didn’t make it true. She managed to say, “Mirror.”

“I don’t think it is a good idea.”

If she was now a monster she wanted to know, NOW! She said again, “Mirror.”

Reluctantly, Loren pulled a small pocked mirror from his robe and handed it to her. The silver of the mirror was cold in her hand. The mirror was only slightly larger than the disc. The DISC! What had become of the disc? She couldn’t remember. What else had she forgotten?

With fingers that trembled she raised the mirror. The eyes that met her were sunken with dark shadows. Her hair was barely visible. Her denuded face had small cuts on it and burn marks. She was ugly. Ugly. She dropped the mirror onto the blanket and closed her eyes. What did the rest of her body look like? Her hand? It felt like it was still there. What had happened to it? Why couldn’t she remember anything? Why?

Loren said, “Slow down your thoughts. Your memories will return.”

Fand asked herself, do I want my memories to return?