《Phenomena the Basic Witch and The Mind Safari》Chapter Twelve: Foul Play
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Retrieving her curious brew, Mena ran as fast as she could back to her teacher’s classroom. She was very careful not to spill it, even holding sideways on the horizontal cloud wall.
When she returned to the room, Scalia had her head in the bucket, gargling water. May watched her with great concern. “What’s she doing?” Mena asked
Scalia pulled her head out of the bucket. “Trying to drown myself,” the fish professor said, crestfallen. “But it’s not working for some reason.”
“No need for that,” Mena exclaimed, holding up her strange mixture. “Drown yourself with this potion instead.”
“What is it?” Scalia asked with slight curiosity.
“A mixture of dreamshade and helephant brains,” Mena grinned. “A certain professor said it’s good for your brain.”
“Well,” Scalia sighed. “I got nothing to lose.”
“And everything to gain,” Mena beamed, passing the potion to her teacher. “Including your memory.”
“Why does it smell so bad?” Scalia asked, observing it.
“Left it lying about,” Mena responded. “We really gotta get an icebox in our dorm or something.”
Scalia plugged her eel-like nostrils. “Here goes nothing,” she said and downed the whole thing.
Mena and May trembled and bit their nails as Scalia ingested Mena’s science lab concoction. She closed her eyes and made a slight ‘mmm’ sounds. Suddenly, Scalia opened her eyes, and they were free from the murkiness they usually possessed. Scalia raised a flipper. “When I was thirteen, I broke out in hard acne and all the other fishysauz called me roly-poly fishhead.”
Mena and May turned to each other in shock. “Boy that stunk,” Scalia said, shaking her head. Mena’s grill gleamed, however. “Hey at least you remembered it.”
Scalia gasped. “Wait a fish flipping second, I do.”
May’s smile was rounded off by dimples. “What else do you remember?”
“When I was fourteen, a waiter offered me a fish stick and I said, ‘eww put that thing away.’”Scalia shook her head. “Phew, I get ick thinking about it.”
“Anything else?” Mena asked. “Something positive perchance?”
“Err…I’ll come back to you on that one,” Scalia said. “But hey, at least I remember all that traumatic stuff right?”
Mena and May exchanged glances. “Sure,” they both said.
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Scalia put her flippers together. “Excellent,” she said with a giddy expression.
“Professor,” Mena said with half lidded eyes. “I know a guy who could hook you up with more of that sweet, sweet love…I mean, memory potion.”
“Oh do you?” Scalia responded, bouncing happily.
“Why yes,” Mena smirked, “He’s the number one bachelor who lives in a dungeon He’s four foot two and uh…he kinda smells like pickled beets.”
Scalia was silent, mulling over the info. At last, she said, “have you smelled me?” I smell like a fish on dry land.”
“Well,” Mena said. “Then you’re perfect for each other. Trust me, he’s very brown liccan, brown cow, if you get me.”
“Perfect,” Scalia said. “I’ll see him about making me more potions.”
“Wonderful” Mena said, flicking her fingers as the bell rang.
As Mena and May headed out, Scalia’s face was radiant. “Thank you, girls. Because of you, I remember a lot of questionable details of my life.”
“Er… great” Mena smiled uneasily. “See you later, Miss Julianna.”
Mena was in a good mood again. As, she headed up to the Sun Tower’s loft with Janus, she felt even better. especially when she witnessed who was waiting inside of it. Inside the paisley bedecked sun loft and smelling of incense was headmaster Stellaris. As everyone gathered, Stellaris told them the news. “Hi girls,” she said, trying to remain upbeat. “I’m sorry to inform you, but this will be an independent study period.”
Everyone was silent. Mena wondered to herself, what became of Roy G. Bivion “I know you were looking forward to another mindbending class with the old headmaster,” Stellaris said as most girls winced as Janus bounced up and down on her bones. “But we can’t find him anywhere. Believe me we’ve looked.”
Mena let out a sigh of relief, but she gasped when Stellaris added, “I will now accept your papers on the dreams you experienced yesterday with the professor.”
Everyone walked up and gave her their papers. Mena slapped her forehead. She had totally forgotten about that one. She bashfully walked up to Stellaris, “Professor I…,” but Stellaris placed her hands on her shoulders. “Mena, I understand that you don’t have it. Considering what you experienced in this class, and your vision last night, you’ve got a lot on your plate.”
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Mena was so excited she did a twirl. “Wowie zowie, thank you professor,” she said.
Stellaris gave a knowing smile. “Have it for next time, when we finally track down the old headmaster.”
“Yes ma’am,” Mena said, marching back to her seat.
“Now please,” Stellaris said with a smile. “Study quietly or work on last night’s homework if you haven’t already. I’ll be preparing for play practice next hour.”
Stellaris did a phoenix burst and vanished from view.
“Oh boy,” Mena exclaimed. “Play practice…”
Last night’s homework could wait, she had to study for her part as the Julianna. “I’m so happy I’ve got the most romantic role in the play,” she said, blushing. “There’s nothing more romantic than being star crossed lovers.”
“Except for my part,” Janus said, fawning as her skull turned rosy. “Nothing is more romantic than helping the star-crossed lovers kill themselves.”
Together Mena and Janus practiced their wit at drama until the bell rung. Already, Mena had forgotten about the drama with Caligari. She was ready to head downstairs and star in a real drama instead.
Heading into the auditorium, Mena noticed that Ashlan and Tal were not only punctual—there were already decked out in uniform. Tal with his dashing brown locks sported a tunic and puffy pants that emphasized his rear end. Ashlan’s outfit was darker and leathery. A hooked rapier was in her belt. Both looked ready to face off in a battle that would make Tyrone and Romulus look like a pair of dueling chipmunks in comparison. “Mena!” they both exclaimed, but before she could greet them and their rather dashing attires, Electra screamed into a microphone. “Chop chop everyone. Get ready for scene Act Five.”
“Act Five?” Stellaris shouted with dishpan sized eyes. “Shouldn’t we start with Act One?
Electra clutched at her chest like she was having a dramatic palpitation. “But honey, don’t you realize that that is the big scene of LUV. Julianna out on the balcony. Romulus pledging his love to her. That’s the scene the beasts came from. All those other puns and stupid lewd jokes are not what makes them roar in approval.”
Stellaris sighed. “I guess you’re right. Everyone, set the stage for Act Five.”
The shuffling of feet ran behind the curtain, and when the two sheets of fabric were drawn apart, Mena sighed at the sheer romance of it all. There was a balcony and arched window overlooking the stage. Expertly crafted by the Lollypop stage crew with help from Ashlan’s brother Leo, every banister was perfectly molded and fake, plastic leaves intertwined with the railings.
“This is where I’ll beckon to my one true love,” Mena said, clutching her heart.
“Did you hear that beast?” Tal said behind her. “I’m her one true love.”
Ashlan snarled, “You’re a lot cattier than I am, and I’m part feline.”
“Well, it’s true,” Tal gave a deep haughty laugh. “But that’s how I got this role, while you’re simply a minor villain who gets killed off halfway through.”
Ashlan stomped away. Tal put his arms around Mena’s shoulder. “Now let’s break a leg and get you all dressed up for our big scene together.”
Mena looked sideways at Ashlan who was already heading backstage. She couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for her roommate. That did not distract her from being the leading lady, however. She was ready to be a lover crossed in the stars.
Fifteen minutes elapsed and Mena found herself on that very balcony. In a colorful nightgown with her hair neatly curled and conditioned, she nervously jittered while overlooking the whole theater. She imagined how it would be, packed with hundreds of debonair beasts and beastettes. Mena replayed lines in her head over and over again and tried not to be blinded by the stage lights. She saw Tal squinting against the dazzling glow of the stage
“Ready,” Stellaris said. “Action.”
Mena’s knees trembled. This was her very first scene and a momentous one too. Fortunately, she had to recite the easiest, most famous lines in the play. “Romulous…” Mena swooned. “Wherefore art thou…”—there was a feeling behind Mena’s back, like someone had put their hand on her—“Romuloaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!”
The hand shoved Mena and she went right over the balcony plummeting towards the concrete stage below.
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