《Luck based loser》Too much recycling leads to weight problems though.
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Disregarding the delicious elf recycling, our infrequent hero marches on by staying seated on the short bus. Offering up his seat to an elderly lady and grabbing the last one available. A middle seat between the ministers of agriculture and banking.
“Being squashed in the middle more like it. Both of these weigh about as much as the actual fucking short bus. Or are they like a race that's half mixed with an animal, that animal being overweight elephants. Because no normal elephant can ever achieve this much girth. Isn't there like an anatomical maximum you have to stay under before your organs fail? I'm certain this is outright abuse of the magic system on this planet just to keep their heart, that grew three sizes that day alone, beating.”
Our hero is being problematic again. And an asshole. These people have simply progressed beyond archaic societal norms and have instituted their own beauty in life. Something the hero could learn from. As life is, by definition, a subjective experience.
“Gravity and mass are not subjective issues, they're not up for fucking debate. If the fucking bus has trouble going beyond five miles an hour because the entire undercarriage is being scraped clean by the underlying asphalt, that's a weight problem. Literally. It's not that the bus is feeling a tad depressed and can't give us a hundred percent today. The only emotional burn-out here is the actual engine burning out because it can't keep up mobility unless we use a hyper concentrated version of jet fuel that can melt steel beams. Never forget.”
Forget what?
“I... don't know any more.”
Egh, typical.
“Well it's not like you're being very helpful while I endure this theatrical version of elephant-men and elephant-men returns: the fattening with extra crispy bacon bits.”
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Shouldn't it be elephant man?
“Not with this amount of weight. Oh god, one of them is raising an army to scratch himself. The wafts of decades of uncleaned underwear are hitting my face. There's so much chlorine build-up that I feel like I'm being eaten alive by a pool.”
Prepare for battle!
Play battle music.wav!
“Why did the battle function change? I'm not complaining, just asking. This is kinda retro.”
The chlorine has damaged our internal functions. The world had to use a spare copy of final fantasy seven as a back up.
“Oh, alright then. FIRAGA!”
You don't have that spell.
“Euhm, which ones do I have then?”
The narrator kindly brought up the player's character screen.
STRENGTH: 0
INTELLIGENCE: 0
AGILITY: 0
DEXTERITY: 0
LUCK: 130
ACHIEVEMENTS:
'Oh you lucky so and so.' - S
'Innate asshole' - SSS
'I'm a kitchensink, daddy!' SSS
ABILITIES:
'Pelvis thrust' – A
'Pelvic barrage' – no.
“OK, I cast Pelvic Barrage-aga”
Somehow... the system accepts the attack. The hero's loins now vibrate at supersonic speed. Turning the chlorine pool into a cloud of chlorine. It lifts further into the air and lands on the nearby forest that was filled with demonic creatures.
Hero has gained 75.933 experience and went up four levels. He has killed 590 adult demons, 54 elderly demons and many, many, many, many demon children.
“That's a lot of many's.”
The narrator tries not to judge the hero's incessant need to abuse and kill children too harshly.
Your drops were as followed:
Two more poor person's voucher that combined with the one you already had into an super poor person's voucher with +1 to dragon slaying.
“Wait, it's a weapon now?”
And the final drop is a materia named 'Knights of the lucky table'.
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“Shouldn't that be round table?”
Our copyright lawyer said no.
“Ah, right. Show me my character screen again, want to see how many levels I went up with.”
Level... euhm, let's go for ten. Why not.
STRENGTH: 0
INTELLIGENCE: 0
AGILITY: 0
DEXTERITY: 0
LUCK: 200
ACHIEVEMENTS:
'Oh you lucky so and so.' - S
'Innate asshole' - SSS
'I'm a kitchensink, daddy!' SSS
Slayer of children - Common
ABILITIES:
'Pelvis thrust' – A
'Pelvic barrage' – no.
'Pelvic barrage-aga' – oh god please no.
“I feel the character screen had become rather apathetic about my progress. Also, why is the new achievement common?”
Parenting is an acquired skill. Usually acquired by the time your fourth child reaches adulthood. I mean IF it reaches adulthood.
“Wow, this got really dark all of a sudden. Let's go back to happy thoughts. Tell me how I to equip the new materia.”
Well... usually, you'd equip it on the character screen. But yours doesn't have that functionality. So you'll need to insert it somewhere else.
“You know, I was silently wishing there was another reason why the materia was shaped like a butt-plug. Maybe the designers had a weird sense of humour. Maybe it was a religious item from a more naïve time.”
Nnnnowp.
“You sick bastard, you like this, don't you.”
Our legal team has advised me not to answer such questions. But yes.
“And let me guess, I'm going to need to shove it inside if I want to continue the main quest.”
Our hero could feel the narrator's big, wide grin shining down on him from above. It illuminated the countryside and brought peace and prosperity to at least five local counties who saw it as the sign of a benevolent god to start fornicating as if their lives depended on it. Which they did. But that's a story for another time.
“Why do I have a feeling you're writing some bad porn fan-fiction in your spare time?”
…
…
…
…
Our hero stepped off the short bus and went inside the castle of doom and evil.
“Yeah, that's what I figured. Fucking coward.”
His slanderous accusations aside, our hero was welcomed by the biggest queue he'd ever seen in his life.
“There's only five people ahead of me. Do you have difficulties estimating size by any chance? Is this why your wife is so unhappy?”
That's the ticket station to turn your voucher in for an entry pass and at least the narrator isn't a hideous creature that repels women.
The line to actually enter starts from the right of the castle and wraps around the entire domain.
“Holy superjesus that's a long line. Isn't there euh... you know, some hero benefits I can use here?”
Technically yes, but no hero before has ever...
The narrator hit his forehead. Of course this hero would use it. Just step to the ticket queue and show them the weapon the queen bestowed upon you.
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Infinite Realm: Monsters & Legends
The world has ended, and those worthy of it have received the chance for a new life in a new reality. Zach grew in power and thrived in the post-Framework world. He became a respected leader, a shining example of what it meant to be good. But as the world ended, he had only one thought: to punish the monster that had killed the world long before the Framework ended it. Yet not even with his incredible power was he able to stand against the World Ender. His arrival in the new realty, the Infinite Realm, gives him the chance to grow stronger, to find the monster again—and make it pay. Ryun survived the chaos after the arrival of the Framework by pushing harder than anyone else. He grew in power until he became the most powerful being that had ever walked the planet; but he is hated by the world, called a monster by all others, the World Ender. As the world ends and he steps into a new one, where people stronger than him have lived for centuries, he finds himself lost and without purpose. The only thing that had mattered to him had been lost to him long ago. He truly was the monster that people considered him to be, and he now finds himself wondering if this new reality has a place for someone like him—but he had never been one for lying down and dying without a fight. One world fell to his power, and another might follow. Current schedule: Monday/Wednesday/Friday Join the Discord: https://discord.gg/ncC5Q7H A polished and edited versions of volume 1, 2, and 3 is avaliable on Amazon. Current Volume: 4 Infinite Realm is a story that will follow two main characters at the start, with a few more joining the cast a bit later. The story will be told in two different time periods: past and present up until volume 3. Past chapters take place in the past on Earth, and take form of flashbacks that follow the two as they struggle to survive and grow their powers in the world changed by the Framework. The main story is in the present. This story is a mix of LitRPG and Xianxia, and it will have Classes as well as Cultivation systems. There are two main characters, and a few others that are introduced later. The MC focus will change from volume to volume, with the first being focused on Ryun, and the second on Zach (we are currently in Volume 4). Other MCs will still have chapters dedicated to them, but the focus will be on the main volume MC.
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Tome of Stealth [A System Anti-Apocalypse]
When the Passivity Precept takes over the world it snuffs out all brutality, leaving its MMO-like Violence Simulator as humanity's only source of physical violence. Knowing how much she can make from selling epic gear, Grace Winston enters the simulation and discovers that it's more than just a game. Somewhere in there are the answers to who started the fire that killed her father. For far too long, Lorevinel Silvercat has been stuck as the Ravenborn clan’s free-roaming prisoner. They’ve held a grudge against his clan and have used him to vent their hatred. Having planned his escape for several years, he has everything ready, but he needs a specific artifact from the Rogues Guild to finally start his journey. Will Grace find her answers? Will Lore gain his freedom? Can these two unlikely people, both alien to each other, find common ground and work together while dealing with an unasked for soul bond? ToS is a Lite LitRPG (meaning very few stats with a focus on story). Expect cursing, sexual tension, descriptions of breeding dungeon rats, and a little gore. TL;DR- The System Anti-Apocalypse forces everyone to be peaceful and only commit violence inside its Magical VR game.
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A Virus Life For Me
Poor Mark just cannot catch a break. First he dies saving another person and is summoned in front of the "Overbeing". The "Overbeing" gives Mark choices for his next reincarnation due to his selfless act. However, all is not as it seems. Just before being sent off to experience his next life as an evolver Mark overhears another person talking to the "Overbeing". It seems Mark was somehow a threat to the "Overbeing" and was eliminated and sent on his way before he could cause problems. Now that Mark knows what happens he vows to attain enough power to overcome the "Overbeing" and thus fulfill what he was eliminated for in the first place. However, to do that he must master his evolver abilities and make it through a new world where magic and monsters are real. Man reincarnates into a simple virus. Must figure out how to evolve into more dangerous and significant things. Hijinks, hilarity, and hopefully action occur along the way.
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Ringmaster's Ambition
Samuel Tuckerman, a retired therapist and nearing a hundred years old, decided to let the whole world know of his legacy. To leave an everlasting mark in this world, he surrendered himself to the authorities and brought with him mountains of evidence to prove his unbelievable claims. That he was the cause of thousands of disappearances all over the world. These evidence consisted of journals, videotapes, papers, and audio recordings of the last moments of all his victims, or so he claims. Initially met with skepticism, the authorities only saw him as a senile old man until testing out the validity of one of the records led to the discovery of the remains of a person. Upon finding out the legitimacy of the evidence Samuel provided, he was swiftly arrested and all other evidence was distributed to law enforcement all over the world to verify. When news of his deeds was made known to the entire world, all eyes were on him. This revelation led to numerous controversies that the governments of the world had no way to control. It showed the incompetence of law enforcement and the government. It inspired lunatics to try and be more brazen in committing atrocities. It sowed fear among the masses. Fueled conspiracies of collusion with foreign governments to suppress information regarding this matter. All these problems eventually resulting in a one day trial, where he was immediately pronounced guilty and was sentenced to death by publicly-broadcasted hanging. Although the various authorities of the world sought to set Samuel's execution as an example, what was broadcasted in the screens all over the world was not the dying struggles of an evil monster, but the satisfied smile of an old man. With his life coming to an end, he shall soon discover that his sins will lead to even greater consequences.
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Eye of Amber
Kosian's life was turned upside down when he saw his brother being taken by men of the Faith, using words like 'cursed' and 'damned'. He did not care if his brother was the Ancient Gods incarnate -- he just wanted a friend with whom he could share his pain, his joy. And, after ten long years of planning, he is finally ready. With the help of a group of mysterious benefactors, Kosian saves his brother, fleeing their home and heading east, towards the port of Bez, accompanied by an unexpected but welcomed band of mercenaries. Meanwhile, Bel, a knight of the order Purtelis, hounds them, dead set on returning the Faith's stolen property. Both groups traverse the peaceful lands of Bollardia, each encountering roaming monsters, ancient evils and simple people, trying to survive. During his travels, Kosian is haunted by strange dreams and visions, all of which keep showing him the same image -- an eye of amber, etched with black runes. The sign of the Divided, masters of magic and saviours of the Seven Races.
8 140 - In Serial9 Chapters
As long that we are together
Wildberry cookie and crunchy chip cookie had a big fight so they decided to go to there kingdoms but then Dark Enchantress cookie goes to Dark Cacao kingdom and a lot of cookies were corrupted...
8 138
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