CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The Selfish Girl

I stared in the mirror in Rogan’s bathroom. It was lucky for me that contact lenses were easier to take out than they were to put in; otherwise, I never would have managed it. After that was done, I hacked into the makeup remover and started to look a little more like myself.

I flicked back the shower curtain and turned on the water. I smelled like beer, and I was curious as to what I looked like with blonde curly hair. I undressed and washed the straightness out of my hair. After my shower, I got out, wrapped myself in one of Rogan’s blanket-sized towels and went to go find my clothes.

Back in yesterday's clothes with my hair dry, I had another look in the mirror. My hair had bounced up to my shoulders, making it look shorter than it had been when it was straight. It looked amazing!

I came out of the bathroom and went to find a snack in the kitchen. Rogan followed me.

“So, do you think you’ll be able to reattach everything?” I asked.

“Yes, except there’s a problem. You didn’t check the body parts before you picked them up and split, did you?”

“No,” I said. His expression made my mouth feel dry. “I didn’t get the wrong head, did I?”

He answered wearily. “It’s not that. It’s my hand and his head. It’s just that they weren’t…” he searched for the word. “Complete.”

“What do you mean?”

“My pinkie finger is missing and Brandon’s tongue has been cut out. If they cut it out to stop him from talking, that doesn’t explain why they cut off my pinkie.”

“There was nothing else in the fridge,” I argued.

“I don’t think it’s your fault. I think those old men may have cut out smaller parts to take with them on their trip. I bet they’re trying to get sponsors to pay for their research. Showing someone a disembodied tongue and a finger that jiggle around on their own might be enough to get an investor to open their wallet. They’re probably also easier to smuggle onto an airplane and less shocking during a demonstration. I don’t know.”

“Did you know you were sending me at a time when those old men would be gone?”

“No. I thought they’d be there, but their absence is why you were able to get in and out so easily. If everyone was there, everything would have been much harder for you. Personally, I’m thankful it turned out this way. Now I have nine fingers instead of five and Henry has his head back. Even without the tongue, this is a magnificent improvement.”

“And you’ll give me the year you promised?”

“Sure. I don’t know when. Try to understand that I probably won’t be able to see you for several months. I have to help Brandon and I will be healing myself. Beth, you should head back to Edmonton tomorrow morning. I’ve got a lot of stitching to do and you need to get to a hair salon, so they can make you look more like you.”

“But I like it,” I protested. “Can’t I leave it?”

He turned around and faced me. “Yes, you look cute with blonde hair. I always knew you would, but if you try to leave it, you could be in danger. You either have to go back to looking the way you did or you have to change yourself into something else.”

“But my hair grows quickly. I’ll have hideous roots in a month. Can’t I dye it back then?”

He started moving toward me one step at a time. I backed up with each of his strides and soon I was backed up against the wall with Rogan’s eyes staring into mine. “Are you really going to be like this? Do you think that once they discover they’ve been robbed, they won’t try to find the culprit? Since we’re in the Edmonton vicinity, the first person they’re going to check is you. Even if you completely fooled Charles while you were there that doesn’t mean he won’t put the pieces together if he sees you with hair this color.” Rogan flicked a ringlet with his fingers. “This is a matter of life and death and I do not want you getting in any deeper with these people. Can’t you just do as I ask?”

I felt like I was losing my nerve, but I knew from experience that chickening out didn’t get me anywhere, so I proceeded to be more unreasonable than I had ever been. “This is so unfair! I thought you were going to take care of me until the end, but now you’re sending me to some hairdresser in the city? They won’t do a good job. I’ll look like crap and I’ll get found out anyway. If I’m going to get caught, I might as well look fabulous.”

He stuttered for a moment. “W-what just came out of your mouth?”

“I know you only have one hand and it’s asking too much when you should be stitching up Brandon, but…” He waited while I got my thoughts together. “You give me all the wrong things.”

He didn’t answer but looked around the room like he’d rather look at anything than me.

“And to hear you tell it, I’ll never be able to have blonde hair again as long as I live.”

“Enough,” he snapped, his breath on my forehead. “Get in the chair. I’ve got the stuff. I might as well do it myself since it’s that important.”

So he dyed my hair back to a shade resembling my ordinary color and when he was finished he said icily. “Now there’s no reason for you not to go back to Edmonton tonight. Get going.”

“But,” I whined, conjuring a new reason to stay. “Don't you need an extra set of hands when you stitch Brandon back together?”

“No. For that, you'd only get in the way. You need to get back to your real life. You’ve already missed work, wedding plans, and whatever else. Also, the sooner you are back in Edmonton looking like yourself, the more innocent you look. I’ll see you in a few months, and I don't know what I'll have to look like.”

I nodded. “I’ll know it’s you. Not everyone is missing a finger.”

“Hopefully, I’ll have it back by then,” he said grimly.

Not even a half an hour later, I stood on his snowy porch. My hair wasn’t even dry, but I got into my rental car and drove back to Edmonton. It was a delightful trip. My hair kept making my cheeks wet.

***

In total, I had been gone a day and a half. I got home really late Saturday night (or really early Sunday morning) and even though I hadn’t had enough sleep, I was back at work on Monday. No one mentioned that my hair looked a little different. I noticed, but it was normal that Rogan couldn’t make it look exactly the same. He got the color pretty much perfect, but not even a master of disguise like him could fake sun damage.

Trinity asked me if I’d had fun when she saw me on Monday afternoon, but her mind wasn’t really on it. I let it slide. Her lack of interest made things easier for me.

However, I was surprised when I was eating lunch in the food court the next day and Felicity-Ann sat down at my table. She took off her sunglasses and set them on the table beside my sushi with a flick of her hand.

“How are you, Beth?” she said nicely. She didn’t have the sense to be the least bit embarrassed about what happened at New Year’s, even though Trinity had told her as much of the story as she knew.

“Seen Rogan lately?” was my answer.

“I haven’t. He moved or something. I thought you knew. You’re not still mad at me about that, are you?”

I glared at the roots of her hair. I doubted she had to dye it to achieve that perfect sunny look. “I’m okay. There are always more men to choose from. I was merely curious to know if he had stayed in touch with you, or if he was really as fly-by-night as all that.”

“No, he hasn’t been in touch. Besides, I think he had another girl that he liked.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. He said I wasn’t his type.”

I froze. “He said something like that… to you?”

“Incredible, I know.” She tapped her toe and stared at the ceiling. “So, could you not be mad at me anymore?”

I looked at her. It was pretty much impossible for me to not be mad at her. I disliked her before she got in my way, but Gibson called it pretty accurately when he said it was because I was jealous of her. It still annoyed me. I let her sit there, waiting, while I thought it over.

Finally, I said, “I don’t know why you care what I think.”

“Because,” she said, clearing her throat and showing me her profile. “You won’t have a roommate in a few weeks and I’ve been looking for a place to live.”

“But why me?” I interrupted. “You have dozens of friends. Couldn’t you find someone more like you to room with? You have tons of money. If you don’t want to live with mommy and daddy anymore, then why not just go into dorms and leave me out of it?”

“Well,” she said quietly. “It’s true that I don’t want to live with any of my friends.”

“Why?”

“You can’t tell anyone I said this, okay?”

I nodded.

“They are a bunch of freeloaders. I couldn’t believe how much money they were taking from me on a regular basis until my father showed me my financial records from last year. I have been spending five times as much on my friends as on myself. It’s got to stop.”

“So you don’t have friends or money?” I gawked in disbelief.

She scratched her head. “Well, I have Trinity if cousins can count as friends. I also have a man I’ve been seeing…”

I cut her off mid-thought. “Okay, I get it. You want to tell your parents that you’re living with me when you are actually going to be living with your boyfriend. I gotta tell you right now that even if you pay your rent, that situation will not do. I am not going to be your answering service explaining to your parents that you just stepped out for groceries and that’s why you can’t come to the door.”

Felicity-Ann put both her hands in the air to stop me. “You’ve got it wrong. I don’t plan to live with him.”

“Why not? Is he a creep?” I lowered my eyebrows. “Is he mafia?”

“I can’t believe this is what you think of me,” she fumed, pulling her eyebrows together into a little tent on her forehead. “I would not lie to my parents about where I am living. I am a lady. I am a rich, fabulous, lady.” She slowed down to explain. “But I do want to date him secretly. It’s just that neither my parents, nor my friends, would like the man I’m seeing. It isn't because he’s not educated and refined. It’s because he’s not wealthy, and they would not like to see me with a man who couldn’t afford to circulate in our social circles.”

I nodded, satisfied that her parents were rather choosy, and let her go on.

“I really liked what I saw happen to Trinity. I’ve heard stories about her all my life and my relatives always warned me that even though I must associate with her because of our blood relation, I must never, ever, turn out like her. But now, when I see what she and Brighton are like, I think she’s going down the right path. It may not be the path my parents envision for me, but I’ve never had a man care for me the descent, smart way that Brighton cares for Trinity. She’s becoming a better person every day.”

I agreed. Trinity was really starting to shine.

“I just wanted to try dating this man without my parents watching my every step. The relationship might be nothing, over in a week, but even if it is, I still want to try to do what Trinity did. I hoped that your place would be a good place to start. Now, I know you can’t stand me, and I don’t understand why exactly. It is not my fault Rogan preferred me on that one night, but he left me as well as you. I’ve moved on, so I don’t see why it should still get in the way of our friendship.”

I groaned. “Rogan was very special to me.”

She narrowed her eyes and informed me like it was news, “He was special to every woman. He was like a gemstone in a pile of gravel, but I don’t think that kind of impression is meant to last. Just because he seemed like a gem for that instance, it doesn't mean he wasn't also gravel.”

“Are you calling him a pig in your ladylike way?” I suggested.

She clenched her teeth and then neatly spat, “Yes.”

I rubbed my cheek and chuckled. It was all so ridiculous. “Okay, I forgive you—completely. But you have to accept that I have a slow warm-up time. I probably won’t be able to treat you as nicely as I want to for a while. If you are going to move in after Trinity leaves, we will have to make a few rules.”

“Let me hear them.”

“First off, I want you to be constantly a month overpaid in rent. That way, if you skip off, I won’t be on the hook without a financial safety net. I do have a bit of money, but it doesn’t cover all my expenses as completely as if I were rich, so money is important to me. I want you to understand that I need to be able to graduate on time with a degree that I can turn into money. Thus, even though I allowed it with Trinity, our apartment shall not be used as a place for you to giggle with your boyfriend until three in the morning when I have to be at school the next day. Thirdly, you must report to me if you're going to be late, or if you're not going to be back that night.”

She looked at me like I was stupid. “I have to tell you where I am?”

I groaned. “Part of the reason for having a roommate is having someone to look out for you. I'll tell you my plans too because unlike you (who has her parents down the street), I have no one. My parents are dead and I have no family connections nearby. I was disowned by my adoptive father and Trinity has been the only one to look out for me for the last three years.”

Felicity-Ann hesitated. “Is that true?”

“Course, it is. Hasn’t Trinity told you all this?”

“No.”

I smiled. “I like her even better now, and I didn’t think that was possible.” I rubbed my hands together. “And there is one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“If Rogan reappears, you have to understand that if even one romantic overture happens between you two, I will throw you out on your lady-like bottom and keep your money.”

“Okay.” She looked so innocent. “Beth, he’s really not that cool. I’ll give it to you that he’s handsome, charming even, but he’s not dependable. He dropped me, you, and who knows who else, without an explanation. Even if I stay clear of him, you won’t get him in the end. He’s unattainable.”

I met her warning gaze with a frightfully cold stare. “I don’t care about any of his downsides. I’m warning you, I won’t forgive you a second time.”

For a lady, the sound that came out of her nose sounded very much like a snort. “Right, but it would be better for you if you forgot he existed.”

I yawned. “Yeah, I’ve had that advice before. Thanks for your concern.”

***

A week and a half before Trinity’s wedding, brimstone began falling from the sky. Trinity’s parents found out about the wedding and came to Edmonton. I wasn’t there for the first rain of meteors. I was working at the print shop. Trinity wouldn't tell me who had been the one to blab, but I naturally blamed Felicity-Ann for the crime. However, I had the sense to keep the accusation to myself. After all, I didn’t know anything about family. Maybe not telling was the bigger crime. Either way, I was still going to let the wench move in with me.

It was Gibson who constantly assuaged my doubts. He thought I was doing the right thing for the beauty queen. Actually, the stream of ridiculous crap that came out of his mouth was downright weird. He said things like Trinity never would have changed if it hadn’t been for my influence. I didn’t know what he was talking about. I could never influence Trinity one way or the other. She belonged to herself and the only one who could convince her of anything was Brighton, but I let Gibson go on about how great I was.

That afternoon I was standing in line for a smoothie when I caught an incredible pair of blue eyes staring at me from across the room. It was Rogan. My breath caught in my throat, and I had a hard time not breaking from the lineup. I knew he wanted me to act normal, so I didn’t move. To my surprise, he got up and approached me.

“I feel like being your whore today,” he said smoothly. “Buy me a drink.”

It was a temptation to treat him like I would normally treat Christian, talk to him about the things I would normally talk to Christian about, ask him about his hand, and ask him if anything more had been missing from Brandon’s head, but instead, I decided to take the visit at face value. He ordered something chocolaty and I ordered something with blueberries. We sat down at a table and he suddenly took a bag of pretzels out of his backpack and shared it with me as if he were still Christian. He couldn’t go anywhere without bringing a gift.

He wore a tailored black coat and a tan knit turtleneck. Never once did he take his left hand out of his coat pocket, and I didn’t make him.

“So, where have you been?” I asked in a friendly manner. No matter what, I had to act like I hadn’t seen him recently. It had to be like it never happened.

“Here and there. What about you? Last time we talked, didn’t you say something about your roommate getting married? Is that coming up soon?”

“Yeah, next week.”

“Do you have a date for that?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Want to take me as your date?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitating. “But I’m worried about something if I take you.”

He cleared his mouth before speaking. “What’s that?”

“That you’ll escort me just so you can see someone else.”

“You're thinking I’d rather be with Felix?”

I nodded.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I didn’t ask her and I haven’t seen her since New Year’s.”

I choked a little, but managed to huff, “That’s good. She’s going to be my roommate and if you hang out with me, you’ll probably see her a lot…”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said blandly.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not asking to be your date because I changed my mind about you. You are still not my type.” Then he turned the impact of those blue eyes on me. “I want to be your friend. Is that okay?”

I knew I shouldn’t have felt sad, but I did. Rogan promised a year with me, but he did not promise to be in love with me. Like always, he wanted distance between us.

I smiled cheerfully, even though that wasn’t how I felt. “Being friends will be cool, but I should warn you.”

“Warn me about what?”

“It’s a wedding, so I will have to dress up. After you see me in my dress, you might feel like ravishing me. Remember to control yourself. After all, you're the one who only wants to be friends.”

The look on his face was amazing. For a split second, he looked like he actually thought that was a reasonable outcome and it scared him. Expertly, he shook it off and reconstructed his confidence with a smile.

I smiled back. “Can you give me your number so I can call you in case there are any changes in plans? Trinity’s parents just arrived on the scene and they might want a change in venue.”

“Give me your phone and I’ll program it in. Try not to be too disappointed in me. I often can’t answer, and I have a gift for losing cell phones.” I watched as he typed in my phone using only one hand.