Looking at my barren walls where the tape took off some paint. All of the posters were gone and I didn’t feel better. In fact, I was more heartbroken. I had just buried the memory of Michael, and I taping the posters up. It was with his help that my room felt complete for the majority of my life. It was with his help that my room felt like mine. Now? All of it was gone. Not a trace was left.

Why did I erase it? The crying hit me like a haymaker from a heavyweight boxer.

I threw open my door and stormed into Michael’s room. It had barely changed in the two years he had been gone. His desk, bed, and Elite Crushers game posters were still there, and everything was organized neatly. I only ever played Elite Crushers with Darren and Wyatt, so the Arakan Sphere that sat in his room still hadn’t been touched. Taking a seat at his desk, I opened up the top shelf where I placed the folder of his poems.

What the hell, let me read it. Let’s see what he had to say about his poor ‘ole chap of a miserable brother. I already felt lower than I had ever felt. May as well reach the bottom.

The top poem in front of me was titled “Gordie.”

A toast to my younger brother Gordie

Whom we’ll still be best friends past forty

Our parents say we’ve wasted our lives on games

But when I look back, one thing still remains

The memories I have of us crushing on end

Will be the fondest moments that I could have spent

I hope I set a good example for him

For his outlook on life can be quite grim

He is capable of anything and remarkably talented

But he views his abilities as being fragmented

I hope by my path that he will be inspired

To achieve the greatness he’ll have, if desired

I’m sure at this poem he’ll scoff and find it cheesy

But it came from the heart, so it was easy

So to my perfect friend, and ally, I say,

I’ll be with you, during, and well after, your heyday

Time felt like it had stopped.

Silence.

I felt like I was in a separate dimension where only the room existed in a floating void. I reread it and again and again. Each line hit me with an inspirational arrow to the soul. I could hear his voice clearer than a recorded voicemail. Even though I knew the document was over two years old, it felt like a letter he had just sent to me. Almost as if Michael knew I was ill with crippling angst, and he flew down from heaven with his angelic wings and tossed me an emotional serum.

A different type of tear was shed from my eyes. It didn’t come from a place of depression but rather relief. At first, I didn’t want to believe the message, but the more I read it, the more I felt its meaning.

After taking a few deep breaths, I picked up the television in his room and moved it to my room. I spent the next hour setting up my room to have the TV that my parents had offered me a while ago. The Arakan Sphere, games, and controllers were now on my shelves. I spent the rest of the time organizing and creating space for the new additions.

It’s funny how I wouldn’t have imagined doing such a thing the day before, but I felt different for the first time in a while. The rest of the evening was occupied by cleaning and adjusting. Whenever I set my room up one way, I immediately wanted to try something else. I’m not sure if I did it out of boredom, but it just felt like the right way to spend the time for the rest of the evening. I wasn’t cured of my depression, but it was a step in the right direction for accepting my loss, and I wanted to improve it day by day. I ended up getting a good night’s rest as well. First time in a while.

The only time I ever got any exercise was working at the grocery store. Or if it was a semester where I had a gym class, but those days were done, I had already fulfilled that requirement my first year to get it out of the way. It was hard for me to leave the house by myself. It was hard spending time by myself.

The following day I woke up and ate breakfast with my mute parents, and then I told them I was going to go for a walk.

“What for?” my mom asked, noticing how out of character it was for me.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to go around the block or something. It seems like a nice, warm spring day. We don’t get too many of those,” I said.

“I thought you would be busy all weekend with the tournament?” My dad asked, and I looked at him incredulously. He almost sounded supportive of my habit. “Not that I condone all of your video game playings, because I think you could spend that time doing other more productive things.”

That’s more like it.

He glared at me over his glasses but then lifted his head up with a warmer look. “But you told us it would extend into Sunday as well.”

“Sunday is optional, and we wanted to see how we would do in the first round of singles matches. Since we didn’t do too well, we decided not to waste our money on today,” I lied… sort of.

“Well, I think the fresh air will do you well. You’ll never get any protest from me about it,” he said, looking back down at his phone, reading the local news.

After breakfast wrapped up, I stepped out the door and walked around the block. Ordinarily, I felt anxious walking around my neighborhood. Some kids from my school would drive around and hurl nasty insults at innocent pedestrians. They didn’t even care if they yelled at a little kid. I was convinced they didn’t have a soul. When I took a walk, though, I felt as if I had a shield around me. I wouldn’t care if something like that happened. Some things already happened to me that were much worse in life. A few dumb kids screaming an obscenity wouldn’t hurt me.

During my walk, I imagined what was happening at the doubles tournament. I was certain that Amaya and Dayzees were steamrolling everyone. Still, I started to daydream about what it would look like if Darren and Wyatt were there. My lips curled into a smile, thinking about how upset Dayzees would be to lose to someone like Wyatt. It would be juicy to witness Darren play calm, cool, collected, and strike down his virtual opponent and give Dayzees the meltdown he deserved.

Oh yeah, that day is coming, and I hope they keep winning. I hope that Dayzees and Amaya just keep slaughtering everyone in the game. I’ll be there when they fall. I’ll be supporting my buddies, who will be the ones to tear the two champions apart. No mistakes, no dumb errors will happen, it will be a perfect day, and I will be there, front row and center, to hoist them up in the air in celebration.

I felt a vibration in my pocket from my phone. It was a message to the group chat from Darren.

Guys, did you see what happened at today’s tournament? This is wild!

There was a website link to the popular Elite Crusher’s tournament page. My heart sped up, and a flood of thoughts came bursting through my head. My behavior from the day before deserved some explaining, or at the very least, an apology to my only two friends.

They are not perfect, nor should I expect them to be. It’s wrong of me to hold them to such a standard, but I guess I do because I love them.

As soon as I got back, I rushed up to my bedroom and jumped on my bed. It felt good to lay there for a moment and relish in my first big walk in a while. I realized I had gone more than just a block. It had easily been a two mile walk. Not too shabby. After breathing deeply for a moment, I pulled out my phone and opened the link. On the front page, there was a massive headline.

BREAKING NEWS: Amaya Quits on Dayzees

“Whoa.” I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I clicked the link and opened the article:

Indeed the entire Elite Crushers community knows about Dayzees and Amaya. The number one and number two player in the world, respectively. Whether you follow professional playing of the game or not, as long as you own a copy, you’ve likely heard of them. Dayzees and Amaya partnered up over two years ago, which if they tried now, the professional league wouldn’t allow it.

At the time, Dayzees was unranked, as it was his first singles tournament. After winning, though, he instantly became the number one player globally and has amazingly held that spot for a record-breaking two years. He has won 10 major tournaments (in singles AND doubles AND the two quadruples in Miami!), making him the most successful player to ever touch the game. And get this, he’s only 20.

Yesterday, Dayzees won his 9th tournament in singles. Naturally, we all expected Dayzees and Amaya to perform their usual greatness in doubles. But that did not happen. In fact, they didn’t even lose in the tournament. Amaya announced today before anything started that she and Dayzees were not going to play together, and both agreed not to play in this particular doubles tournament. It is undoubtedly good news for the other combatants since it appears to be anyone’s chance to win, but the community is stunned. We just hope that everything is okay between the star-studded duo. When Amaya was questioned on why and what happened, this is what she told the Elite Crushers tournament circuit.

Amaya: “I don’t think it’s necessary to go into all the details. I know we each have a lot of fans. Many people were excited to see us play in doubles, so we both apologize to those who were hoping for us to make an appearance, but it’s for the best. I have grown as a player. Dayzees saw potential in me two years ago that no one else really saw. He offered to be my partner in the doubles tournament after getting knocked out when I made it to the top 16. But people didn’t think I made it to the top 16 since my opponent from the top 32 was excused.

“So it was challenging to get respect from the other higher-up pros, but Dayzees saw me play, and he encouraged me to get better. So after the tournament, I took the summer to train in Japan, and then I came back to play in the summer tournament in New York. It has been a lot of fun and an honor to win so many doubles tournaments with Dayzees and the Miami tournament twice, but people grow up. I’m a few years older than him, and it’s just time to move on now that I’m the number two player consistently. I feel a little bad because, since I was on Dayzees’s team in Miami, the ninth-best person from the Chicago tourney would get the Miami invite, but I am officially removing myself from Dayzees’s four-person team, which means Mant1sC0re won’t be invited. Sorry Mant1sC0re, you did so well. Keep it up, though! Thanks again to all of my fans who have given me so much support. Believe me, this wasn’t an easy decision, but it’s time to move on and become my own player.”

Of course, there you have it, Amaya always showcasing nothing but class and respect to the rest of the competition. When we asked Dayzees to comment, he said the following:

Dayzees: “I totally understand, and while I am sad to see her go, I had braced myself for this happening. It doesn’t feel right to play in a doubles tournament today without her, so I’m just going to respectfully excuse myself. I have a lot of things to review. I will be looking for another player because I still plan to go to Miami… and I want to be able to assemble another person before Amaya gets her hands on them. [laughs] In all seriousness, though, we had a good run. I wish her nothing but success, but not against me, of course, but the success with whatever comes with riding on my coattails. I hope she enjoys her playing career being second to me as long as I have a breath in my body.”

Dayzees and his trademarked pride. I’m sure the fans could read between the lines, but I will leave it at that. These players have evolved the game to an extraordinary level where everyone grinds to get better. Recently, a hack of Elite Crushers was released, er, a patch instead, that makes the computers harder to play so others can train. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say that or not because it’s illegal to mod the game. Still, I know that it’s hard to get your hands on because if my memory serves me correctly, it’s all been removed online.

With all that said, who will win today’s Chicago doubles tournament? Stay tuned!