This particular week Jefferson wasn’t as nervous as he was the previous week when he had met up with Amanda. While the topic of transference came up, it was dealt with maturely and Jefferson was hoping they could continue their sessions and get back on track to help the young lady work on other issues which was the origin of her coming to his office every week. Jefferson spent the better part of a week, an hour here and an hour there, going over Amanda’s extensive file hoping that this week they might be able to move past the Transference and start to dig a little deeper this time out. Even if he had to only do one layer at a time, as if the young woman were an onion, it was one step that needed to be made today to start that process. Jefferson was hoping that the connection they shared and the deal they made would open the door and allow him to reach a part of her that no other therapist had before. He didn’t like the idea that she had seen so many therapists before him, which would no doubt begin to give Amanda a defeatist attitude considering the others that had failed to help before. This was one reason why he wasn’t willing to pull the plug the moment transference came up. To quickly abandon her could have potentially caused more damage than helped her. It was a dangerous choice for Jefferson to make, but it was worth the gamble as it appeared last week she had made genuine progress while still managing to keep things strictly professional. While Jefferson knew he had to be vigilant to make sure they didn’t slip up and make any mistakes, he was willing to do the extra work so that he didn’t have to abandon his client. She’s had too much inconsistencies already in hear life, from foster care to bouncing from one boyfriend to another. She needs something to be consistent, a place to start a foundation she could build on. Normally that foundation is supposed to be your parents, and your family. Amanda never had one, and that gap has been the start of what has been a very chaotic life thus far. Jefferson realized that they needed to address family and try to fill the gap and give her something to life for rather than pine for something that may never come along.

Yet any hope for that kind of progress looked frail as Amanda stormed into the room with a chip about a large as an iceberg on her shoulder. She didn’t say a word as she walked in, gave no pleasantries, and just moved over to the couch. She gave out a big huff as she sat down, as if the air was trapped until the couch released it for her. Jefferson could tell by her attitude and the disregard for his very existence that this session was going to be the exact opposite of the previous week. Jefferson was afraid a confrontation as imminent and all he could do right now was brace for impact.

“Good afternoon,” Jefferson said, still standing. He waited for a few moments, but there was no response from the woman on the couch. Amanda sat there with her arms folded, acting like a child that was getting ready to be punished by her parents, but there was no parent around to do so. Jefferson stood there and waited patiently, giving Amanda plenty of chances to complete the decorum that was extended but it never came. She was in a rather foul mood and that wasn’t going to change with minor pleasantries. Jefferson decided to take a different approach as the way he’d treat other clients might just make things worse. She wanted to fight, so his approach would be to avoid one and get to the root of her real issues.

“Did something happen on the way over to the office?” Jefferson asked.

“No,” Amanda replied, the first thing she said since she arrived.

“Are you injured or require medical attention?” He continued.

“No.” Amanda repeated.

Jefferson responded by walking over to his chair, and then sitting himself down while not taking his eyes off of her.

“Then talk to me,” Jefferson invited, “What happened that has put you in such a sour mood?”

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it,” Amanda replied, “I mean it just happened a few hours ago.”

“What happened a few hours ago?” Jefferson asked, trying to show genuine interest as he was concerned about her.

“Well,” Amanda started, “More like something didn’t happen would be more accurate. I had a lunch date, and the jerk never showed up.”

“Oh,” Jefferson said, “That hurts.”

“You think?” Amanda asked, her question dripping with sarcasm.

“It definitely does,” Jefferson confirmed, “Been there, done that, and it sucks to be left there waiting for someone who isn’t coming.”

“You’ve been stood up?” Amanda asked, “How many times?”

“More than I’d like to admit,” Jefferson answered, “But it’s been a while, and yet I still remember them all like it happened yesterday. That’s how much they hurt, you never forget them. It’s not nice to make plans and have something to look forward to only to have someone no call no show. At a call center I used to work at, that’s grounds for dismissal.”

“You used to work at a call center?” Amanda inquired.

“When I was working on my doctorate,” Jefferson explained, “College courses aren’t cheap so I had to work and study at the same time. I can assure you and doing customer service at the center was beneficial to the work I do now. I gain a thick skin and great patience at that place. But I digress, being left there with no explanation is rude, and selfish of the other person. In today’s world with texts, emails, and facebook, there’s no reason to leave someone high and dry. It’s just disrespectful and cowardly.”

“I can’t believe you were stood up,” Amanda repeated, “How did you respond when something like that happens?”

“Sometimes I just order food and eat alone,” Jefferson said, as he tried to recall the memories. “There was one time I showed up nicely dressed, with fresh roses and was fifteen minutes early. I looked amazing and ready to impressed and about ninety minutes after the time we agreed to met, it was clear that I had been stood up. There I was sitting in the middle of a post French restaurant and waited while over fifty others watched from their tables. They were curious to see how long I was going to hold out before giving up.”

“That’s awful,” Amanda said, thinking about it. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Jefferson said, “As we passed the ninety minute mark, the hostess took pity on me. I must have looked like a lost puppy, and she took it upon herself to order something for me, and have it served without telling me. She also gave me a glass of wine to match the meal. It was very considerate of her to make others think I was waiting for my meal instead of for my date. She even gave a fake apology for my food being so late, to cover for me.”

“Wow,” Amanda said, “That was awfully nice of her.”

“You haven’t heard it all,” Jefferson said, smiling back at her. “When the meal was over, which was amazing to boot, I asked her for the bill. She refused to give me one and said it was on the house. Turns out my puppy dog look was so sad they refused to charge me and comped the meal.”

“Alright,” Amanda said, “I need to set my next date for this place.”

“Even though I was stood up,” Jefferson continued, “I wasn’t angry at the person for not showing up. A part of me was hoping that it wasn’t anything serious such an accident, or tragic event that caused her to bail on me. That’s the attitude you have to take with what happened today.”

“Really?” Amanda asked, not really in the mood to consider it.

“Until you get the reason, keep an open mind.” Jefferson suggested. “What if he was hit by a car crossing the road and is in emerg right now? Or maybe he ran into a burning building to save a puppy?”

“That’s doubtful,” Amanda countered, “He doesn’t seem the type to be that heroic.”

“Fair enough,” Jefferson conceded, “But what I’m asking you to do is at least give him a chance to explain himself. Whether or not his excuse is valid or total malarkey is for you to decide. I’m merely suggesting you hear it first before judging whether or not his excuse for standing you up is valid. If your ego is the worst thing damaged, that’s a good thing. I know you hate him right now, but find out why he wasn’t there first before passing judgement. You never know, it might be a very good excuse.”

“Or it could be total bullshit,” Amanda countered, “And the asshole just forgot or slept in.”

“Very possible,” Jefferson said, “And if that was the excuse, then kick his sorry ass to the curb.”

“Fair enough,” Amanda said, appearing to look a little more relaxed.

“Don’t let it ruin your day,” Jefferson recommended, “The day is still young and it can turn around rather easily.”

“Alright,” Amanda said, as she was interested in the idea. “What do you think I should do?”

“I’m not sure,” Jefferson answered, “That depends on what interests you. If you’re into art, go to a gallery. If you like sports, see who’s playing today and just buy a last minute ticket. Even if you’re in the upper deck, that’s where the more dedicated fans are, you’d have more fun. Or you can see a movie if there’s anything worth seeing at your local cinema.”

“Ugh,” Amanda said, “Today’s movies are total crap.”

“Unfortunately, I agree.” Jefferson said, grinning back at her. “There is a small locally run theatre not far from here that I like to go to. All these show are classic movies like Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, and countless other movies that are just the best. Last time I went they were showing Citizen Kane and that was quite enjoyable because I had never seen it on the big screen before. Sometimes I just like to buy a ticket and see something myself, and remove the pressure of having to behave or act a certain way with someone else. Don’t be afraid to go solo because it removes a lot of the pressure.”

“I like that,” Amanda admitted, “Is there any chance you can give me an address for this theatre, it sounds like fun.”

“I’ll write it down for you when we’re done,” Jefferson said, happy to see that Amanda was embracing the idea.

“So that’s your advice?” Amanda asked, somewhat confused. “Go solo and give up on finding someone to share my life with.”

“I didn’t say that,” Jefferson corrected, “And I’ll counter that with what I believe is the best love advice that was ever given to me. A very smart person told me this after something didn’t work out for me. He told me to stop looking for love and just do my own thing, and when the time was right love would come looking for me. That’s the advice I would give you, Amanda. Pay more attention to family and friends, your work, and your own life. Chances are when someone sees you living life, and even enjoying it, that’s when someone great will come into your life and want to be a part of yours.”

“Did that work for you?” she asked.

“I kind of did,” Jefferson said, “I found someone a short time later, and that marriage lasted a while. Now I intend to follow the same advice again, and if it worked for me it just might for you as well. If someone sees you hanging out with friends, seeing a movie with someone, you’re projected a positive image and that will in turn attract better people into your life.”

“Wow,” Amanda admitted, “That’s pretty sound advice. No one has ever said something like that to me before.”

“I’m aware of that,” Jefferson confessed, “You’ve missed out on a lot of guidance that should have been given to you at an early age. It’s like being dropped into a strange land without a map or any kind of advice. It’s no wonder that you bumped into a few dead ends.”

“Well, mom passed away when I was very young.” Amanda said, “And I was very young and she never told me about my father, so he’s not around either.”

“You were in foster care for quite a while,” Jefferson said, “That can’t be easy on anyone, going from one place to another. That kind of change makes it hard for someone to settle and get their life in order.”

“I’m been doing better,” Amanda added, “Since I started living on my own. I may have a crappy apartment, but it’s mine and no one can take it away as long as I keep kicking ass at work.”

“Happy to hear you’re kicking ass,” Jefferson noted, “Don’t let things like today bug you more than they should. Do something fun with friends, and it doesn’t have to be drinking at bars. See a show, take a hike, go bowling.”

“Bowling?” Amanda repeated with a weird look, “Seriously?”

“Maybe I am,” Jefferson doubled down, “Avoid the usual dating traps and just have fun with people from work or old school friends. Reconnect with people who want to be with you and just have fun. Do your own thing and wait for someone special to approach you.”

“Alright,” Amanda said, “Not the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”

“That’s nice to hear,” Jefferson said, and he sat back and sighed, “Now tell me about the rest of your week.”