The week had been going well for Jefferson, and even though the last few sessions had their moments, he was looking forward to seeing Amanda again. Jefferson was impressed with her efforts and was and hoping they would make more progress that afternoon. He scheduled cleared up, and Jefferson thought this might be the right time to suggest something that might aid their therapy. It was a risk to even think about it but considering the progress they had made over the last few weeks, he felt that Amanda had earned the chance to do this exercise. While to her it might seem like a reward, it was more of an exercise that would help her progress further. When she buzzed in, Jefferson greeted her at the door and walked her in. She took her seat and the quickly noticed something different about her therapist that day.

“You’re dressed up,” she noted, seeing the jacket and the tie. Usually, he would just wear pants and a dress shirt with no tie.

“I am,” Jefferson said, straightening his tie a bit. “Today I’m going to suggest something very different for our session. Do you have any plans for the next few hours?”

Amanda looked puzzled to hear the request. “I don’t. Why do you ask?”

“I’m going to take you on a date.” Jefferson declared.

Amanda was taken a bit back by the statement. “A date? What kind of date are we talking about?”

“A simple one,” Jefferson explained, “Just the two of us in a restaurant breaking break and conversing with one another.”

“Oh,” Amanda said, as she was curious about it. “Is this a part of my therapy?”

“As a matter of fact, it is.” Jefferson confirmed for her, “I want to do something with you that my wife and I did for our children.”

“Okay, what was that?” Amanda asked.

“Whenever one of our kids got old enough to start dating,” Jefferson started to explain, “What we did was make one of us that child’s first date. We would show them by example how their date is supposed to behave and conduct themselves when out in public.”

“Who usually took the kids out?” Amanda asked.

“If it was one of the boys, Mom would be their date.” Jefferson said, “And when it was our daughter’s turn, I was her first date.”

“So, that was kind of like a dry run?” Amanda said, thinking about it. “You both gave them a chance to practice so they’d be less nervous when the time came to actually have a real date.”

“Precisely,” Jefferson said.

“That’s such a great idea,” Amanda said, “I just wish I had a dad around to do that for me.”

“That’s the point,” Jefferson continued, “You never have a father around to do things like this with you, so today I’m going to take his place and give you a long overdue practice date.”

“You’re serious about this?” Amanda asked. “We’re going out?”

“Yes, we are.” Jefferson confirmed, “I’ve taken the time to book a table at one of my favorite restaurants.”

“And that’s why you’re all dressed up,” Amanda said, looking back at herself. “But I’m not!”

“That’s alright, we can take care of that too.” Jefferson said, “There is an elegant outfit in the bathroom waiting for you.”

“You bought me an outfit?” Amanda asked, feeling a little creeped out.

“No, I didn’t.” Jefferson corrected her, “My secretary did. She has a good eye for correctly guessing someone’s size and actually has much better fashion sense than myself. She picked out the dress for you, so if you like it all the credit belongs to her.”

“Oh, alright.” Amanda said, as she stood up. “I’ll go have a look.”

Jefferson waited in his den while Amanda was in the bathroom changing into her outfit. He didn’t worry about buying the dress, because this date was a part of the young lady’s therapy, which meant he wouldn’t hesitate to write it off as a business expense in his taxes. Ditto for the actual meal as well since he was dining with a client. This made the experiment less of a burden, which was good because he tried it with other clients that had complex social issues and many of them had improved because of it. He found that showing rather than telling sometimes made all the difference in the world, and that’s also why he and his wife did the same thing with their children. To make them all better prepared for the scary world out there, because it was unhealthy for anyone to remained cooped up in their home all the time. We were meant to spread our wings and fly, rather than overstay our welcome in the nest.

When Amanda finally emerged from the bathroom, she was wearing a very elegant red cocktail dress that was a bit tight but didn’t reveal too much. His secretary had correctly picked her size as well and had impeccable taste as usual. He gave Amanda a warm smile to reassure her it was alright.

“You look wonderful,” He said, “We should get going.”

“How are we getting there?” Amanda asked.

“We’re taking my car,” Jefferson answered, “As the ride to and from the date is just as important as the date itself. We’ll be going over a few things even when in the car.”

“Alright,” Amanda said, grabbing her purse, “We should go then.”

Jefferson made sure he got to the car first, so he could open the door for Amanda. Once on the road, Jefferson left the radio off, letting her know that is should be off so they could talk about the date and get details while on the way there. The next lesson came after the valet took Jefferson’s car away. The strolled up to the main foyer where the Maître d' was standing at his station. He greeted them both with a warm smile as they walked up.

“Good evening, monsieur.” the Maître d' started, “May I help you?”

“Yes, I have a reservation,” Jefferson said, “It’s under Doctor Jefferson.”

“Ah, yes,” the Maître d' said, grabbing to menus, “Please follow me.”

He led the two of them to a nice table that wasn’t right beside one of the windows but close enough to enjoy the view outside. Jefferson got behind Amanda and pulled her chair out for her and pushed it in as she sat down before sitting down himself.

“That was very nice,” Amanda said, “Thank you.”

“That’s the first thing my wife taught the boys on their date,” Jefferson said with a smile, “Every man should help their date take a seat before taking on themselves. If they sit down before you do, that’s a red flag.”

“Even today?” Amanda asked, “Many men might be afraid to do that out of fear women would accuse them of trying to control them.”

“They should at least offer,” Jefferson countered, “If they don’t even do that much before sitting down, the date is off to a rocky start.”

“Duly noted,” Amanda said, “What else should I look for?”

“I would say the napkin,” Jefferson answered, “Where they put that after sitting down will tell you a lot about your date and their table etiquette. The proper way would be to fold the napkin in half and drape it across the upper part of the right leg.”

“Why the right leg?” Amanda asked, curious to know.

“The answer actually depends on what hand you date uses,” Jefferson said, “I’m right-handed so I put the napkin over my right leg. But southpaws should drape it over their left leg. There are various reasons for this, one being to protect your lap from falling food.”

“I get it,” Amanda said, figuring it out, “If you were to drop something, it would most likely occur on the side your using, so placing the napkin on that side will catch it and save you from stains.”

“Precisely,” Jefferson said, “But it also used as a signal. You never place the napkin back onto the table unless you’re done eating. If the napkin remains on your lap, waiters are trained to look for that to know that you’re not finished, and they’ll leave your dishes alone until you place it back on the table to signal that you’re done.”

“So, if you place the napkin onto the table too early,” Amanda added, “That’s why the waiter takes it away too soon because you make the signal that you’re finished?”

“Yes,” Jefferson confirmed, “That why if you have to use the ladies’ room or even just stretch your legs, you leave the napkin over the arm of your chair on in the center of the chair if it has no arms. If the waiter suspects it was done in error, they will often ask if you’re done just to confirm.”

“And what if my date or I have to pee?” Amanda asked.

“Then you leave the napkin folded over the arm of your chair,” Jefferson informed her, “And if the chair has no arms, then you leave it in the center of the chair. As long as the napkin isn’t on the table, most waiters will leave your table alone and go about their business.”

“What if they don’t put it on their lap?” Amanda inquired.

“That’s another red flag,” Jefferson said, “Especially if they tuck it into their pants or worse, the collar of their shirt.”

“What does that mean when that happens?” Amanda said.

“It means your date is a slob,” Jefferson replied, “And even your date knows it and isn’t ashamed of their lack of manners. Total red flag.”

“Should I be taking noted?” Amanda asked.

“Not necessary,” Jefferson said, “You’d be surprised how easily all this is retained. If you want to practice, I’d suggest watching other people in the restaurant and look for their manners or lack there of.”

“What about ordering food?” Amanda started, “What should I be aware of or look out for when placing my order?”

“Make sure he let’s you order first,” Jefferson answered, “This is usually a good tip for boys as well, as they should let women order first so they can make sure they compensate with their own order to make sure they don’t exceed their budget.”

“Speaking of budget,” Amanda said, “Who should pay on our date?”

“Most of the time, it should be the man.” Jefferson replied.

“Are you sure about that?” Amanda challenged, “Should we independent women let men buy our food for us?”

“It’s a fair question,” Jefferson admitted, “Should you let him or just pay for it without hesitation. Are you entitled to your date picking up the cheque?”

“I’m not sure,” Amanda said, “That’s why I asked you.”

“I’ll be honest,” Jefferson started, “We often tell our boys that women who believe men are supposed to pay is a red flag.”

“Really?” Amanda replied, surprised to hear him say that.

“Really,” Jefferson confirmed, “The moment a lady dictates to a man that they must and are expected to pay for their time, what’s really being conveyed to the person on the other end of the table is that the relationship isn’t equal. The message being presented is that the lady’s time is more valuable than her date’s, so he should pay for it.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Amanda said.

“You shouldn’t,” Jefferson said, “That’s why my wife and consider that to be a red flag.”

“What should I do to avoid that red flag?” Amanda asked.

“Well, I told my daughter to offer to chip in,” Jefferson answered, “Most of the time it will be rejected, but the gesture is never overlooked nor forgotten.”

“That’s interesting,” Amanda said, “As long as I’m at least offering, the gesture will be given that they’re not being taken for granted.”

“Exactly,” Jefferson confirmed, “I remember when my sister asked the same question at the dinner table one time, and my father said this to my sister: if you go on a date with a guy and you don’t at least offer to pay your share, you weren’t raised correctly. He also said if you go on a date and he doesn’t pay, then he wasn’t raised the right way either.”

“That’s pretty deep,” Amanda noted, “The expectations swing both ways, I guess. I’m learning a lot here.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Jefferson said, “The point is to learn and also have fun, because we want everyone to enjoy themselves. Learning doesn’t have to be boring as long as we remember what was taught.”

“I wish many of my teachers had that attitude,” Amanda admitted.

“Some do,” Jefferson countered, “There are some very cool teachers who were able to reach some kids without being a total bore. I should know, my Dad was one of them.”

“Your dad was a teacher?” Amanda asked.

“He just wasn’t a teacher,” Jefferson answered, “He was the cool teacher that inspired so many young minds and led them on a righteous path. When he was at school, the only thing that was missing was the twelve apostles and the water walking. The water into wine would have been beneficial, but we weren’t that lucky. No miracles, just someone who went above and beyond and was looked up to for it. All his students thought he could do no wrong, but to me he was the old man that god on my nerves and vice versa. While these kids were getting a father figure they had been dying for, I got a shit ton of siblings I never asked for. It was tad straining.”

“Damn,” Amanda said, soaking in the story, “I can see how that can be a little annoying, sharing him with so many people.”

“Don’t get me wrong, having more friends was nice as I didn’t have a lot of them during my high school days.” Jefferson continued, “I still speak to some of them and we meet for a beer, especially after my old man kicked the bucket a few years ago.”

“That must have been hard,” Amanda said.

“It was for everyone,” Jefferson said, “But I filled in the hole where I could, and we all helped each other mourn the great man.”

“So, now you’re the cool one,” Amanda said smiling back at him, “You all lost him, but you treated them the same, as if they were family.”

“I did what I could,” Jefferson repeated, “They helped me through it as much as I did for them. You could say it was a team effort.”

“That’s nice,” Amanda said, “that’s not something anyone should have to deal with alone.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Jefferson said, as he then looked down at the menu. “Do you know what you want to order?”

“I’m not sure,” Amanda confessed, “I’ve never been here.”

“I’ve been here a lot,” Jefferson said, “Unless you have some allergies or food restrictions, would you mind if I ordered for us both?”

Amanda smiled at the thought. “No restrictions or allergies. I think that would be nice. What were you thinking of?”

“There are a few great dishes I’d like to recommend,” Jefferson said, “I was thinking we’d order one appetizer and two mains, and share all of them so you can try them all.”

“I like the plan,” Amanda said, as she liked the intimacy behind sharing. “Show me what you’re looking at.”