Caleb shakes his head at the half-empty bottle of Honesty, his mouth set in a grim line. “That sneaky fucker.”

The hankerchief in my hand is damp with snot. My nose burns from blowing it so much, and I can still taste the salt on my lips from copious tears I’ve shed since coming home. Caleb pulls me closer to him on the bed, and I rest my cheek on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me, still holding the bottle in his other hand, inspecting the label closely. “He told you it was water?”

I nod, twisting the handkerchief until it forms a tight knot of cotton.

“I’m guessing you weren’t being recorded, then?”

“I don’t know. Everything in the cafe is on camera, I think.”

“They’re not allowed to cheat you in an interview, Ky.”

I shrug. “It’s too late now. It’s Honesty. He didn’t make me say anything that wasn’t true.”

Caleb gives a sigh, but goes quiet.

Yeah. I’m screwed.

“Poor Dani,” Caleb mutters.

My stomach twists. I was so focused on my own predicament that I forgot, for the briefest moment, about Dani. “Yeah, poor Dani.”

I gaze around my disorganised room, too ashamed to look at Caleb anymore. Instead I focus on the screenboard stretched along the far wall, looping through a constant slideshow of family photos and home videos. I watch myself age from a precocious kid with brown pigtails to a haughty teenager in minutes. But I can’t keep looking at that, either. The sneer on my face makes me uneasy. I can almost hear my younger self gloating at Dani’s misfortune.

‘Well, they shouldn’t have broken the rules, should they?’

‘That’s what you get for helping someone from the Underbelly!’

Stupid girl. I reach for my phone and open my room controller, and shut the screenboard down.

Caleb squeezes my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “It’s been a long day. I’m exhausted.”

“You should get some rest, take a shower or something.”

“Dani can’t take a shower, why should I? They’re probably getting hosed down or something.”

“Kyla—”

“Maybe they don’t even get that. Perhaps they just throw them in a pit, like they used to talk about in primary school. Just chuck everyone in a pit and let them fight it out until theres no one left standing.”

“Kyla you’re being dramatic.”

“I put Dani in there, Caleb. It’s my fault.”

He frowns at me. “That’s not the whole truth of it. You’re twisting it in your own head now. You told the truth.”

“And now they’re in reform.” I throw my hands in the air, fighting back the tears that threaten again.

“No,” Caleb says calmly, “they’re in reform because of their own actions. You wanted to cover for them, and that’s admirable, if a little naive.”

And now I’m naive too. Awesome.

“Why were you going to lie for them, Ky?” Caleb peers at me, studying my blotchy face.

“I dunno.” And I really don’t. “What else could I do? If I’d reported them I’d have lost my job. I need this job.”

“And now? Frank’s going to keep you around?”

“He was pissed. But he told me to come back tomorrow, so… I guess?”

Caleb nods. “Well, even he must see this isn’t all your fault.”

I bite my tongue. I haven’t told Caleb about anything else at Emotiv—like the fact that they’re helping the Abandoned under the wardens’ noses. There’s so much more lying beneath the surface, and I can’t even tell my brother about it. This is uncharted territory for me—I tell Caleb everything. Everything.

“I suppose it’s easier than training someone new in such a short time,” I say, and it’s the only excuse I can think up.

Caleb squints at me, like he knows I’m skipping something, but he lets it slide. “So, you’re really going to go back there?”

“I don’t have any choice, Caleb. It’s a good job, one of the only jobs around. The factories are full, even the janitor duty stations are fully staffed. Skycross is not exactly the land of opportunity right now, for people like me.”

We both fall silent, the rest of my rant unspoken. There’ll be more than enough opportunites for Caleb once he finishes his degree. He took Engineering—it’s not a science subject, but if he climbs the ladder, he’ll be working in the Centre Square high rises in no time.

The silence stretches between us, and my mind continues to work overtime—as if it isn’t already exhausted from whirring all day long.

Now Dani’s gone, that just leaves me, and two other mixologists. There won’t be enough of us to keep doubling up the rota, so I’ll have to do some shifts alone. If an Abandoned comes in and expects service, what do I do then?

I grit my teeth. I turn them away. That’s what I do. I slam that fucking button and get them out of there. I stay out of reform. I avoid that tasergun blast and protect myself.

But Dani’s dazed smile floats at the front of my memories, signing to me on their way out of the cafe. “Make it right.”

What did that mean? Get them out of reform? Would that make it right? Even if it would, how the hell would I even go about it? There were three reform centres in Skycross, all at the outskirts of the city, and all surrounded by Wardens and ten foot high walls. Even the idea of trying to bust someone out was ridiculous. That can’t be it.

I stare at the crumpled handkerchief in my fist.

Come on Kyla, stop being an idiot. You know exactly what they meant.

“Caleb?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you know about the underbelly?”

He freezes, and turns his head slowly to me. “Why?”

“I just… I feel like there’s something they’re not telling us.”

“Something who isn’t telling us?”

“You know, the Praetors, the President, the government in general. Like, we hear about how the Abandoned are all diseased and—“

“Kyla, you’re on dangerous territory here.”

“I know,” I sigh, “but you didn’t see this guy, Caleb.”

“The one Dani wanted you to serve?”

I nod, and avoid Caleb’s gaze. His hazel eyes are nothing like John’s, but whenever I think about him, I see his icy blue stare in everyone’s face, like he’s superimposed on top of them. “He was so… broken. Old and frail but… his eyes made him look younger. Like he should have been in the prime of his life.”

“Well, that’s what the sewers will do to you, I guess.”

“Dani said—” No. Stop.

“Dani said what?”

“Nothing.”

“Ky,” Caleb grasps my hands in his and tries to get me to look him in the face. I stare at our clasped hands instead. “You cannot let Dani get into your head. I understand, what they were trying to do was very charitable. They sound like they had a kind heart—”

“Had?” I don’t like the past tense. It makes it hurt more. John’s icy eyes are replaced by Dani’s—beautiful warm brown, with thick eyelashes, and a few dark freckles sprinkled over their nose.

Caleb sighs. “Have. They have a kind heart. But that’s what got them into trouble. You’re not like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, you can look out for yourself.”

“You mean I’m selfish.”

“No—”

“Yes, you do. You mean I wouldn’t do something for someone else, even if I could. You think I threw Dani under the bus on purpose. That I wanted them thrown in reform. I wanted their job, right?” My voice is getting squeakier as my throat constricts, but I can’t stop the verbal diarrheoa once it’s started. “You think I’m a selfish bitch who would step on anyone to get her own way!”

“Kyla, gods, no!” Caleb grabs me and holds me close to him, hugging me against his throat. I can feel his neck vibrate when he talks, quieter now, softly, so mum can’t hear us downstairs. “You aren’t selfish.”

I stare at the half empty bottle of Honesty on the bedside table.

I know the effects have mostly faded by now, but there’ still be a kernel of truth there. I might not have wanted Dani’s job, but I wasn’t doing anything to help them. If I’d paid more attention, I could have seen Harding’s ruse from a mile away. I’m not an idiot, so how the hell did I fall for such a simple trick?

Maybe, somewhere, deep down, I wanted to. I just wanted to tell the truth, and not have to make choices any more. Abandoned, VIPs, workers, janitors… I just want to put my head down, do my job, and get a nice place to live, maybe even make some friends.

When did everything get so complicated?