I dug myself hidey-hole and waited. I waited for an hour, then two more. I kept track buy setting timers on my system, I figured that if I asked it to inform me of my impending notifications each hour it would send me a message each hour that said:

No notifications

On the fourth hour I got excited when the message was different.

Vigilance I

+5% perception after 10 minutes stationary

5% increase to patience

I guess vigilance is a guards bread and butter!

No it isn’t you skinny dolt. Bread and butter is our bread and butter. Stupid recruits.

Sometime after the fifth hour goblins poured into the room from the section of the wall I was watching. Suspicions confirmed I counted each one as it excited, I’d not forgotten the last time these goblins had appeared and this is where I thought their tunnel entranced.

The tunnels very existence was an anomaly and along with the trap door I’d found earlier it painted a strange picture. The goblins had to have known about the massive threat living underneath their feet- and yet they had let it exist. It wouldn’t of even of been hard for them to deal with the hive. They could of easily collapsed the ceiling long ago and sent in a stream of guards to clean up the twitching remains-they’re seemed to be no end to the grey skinned buggers. But instead of overwhelming the force below they had chosen to leave it be. It must of been for a reason, and whatever that reason was it would of have to have been important. Ruining this co-depends was just another reason I chose to distance myself from goblin society.

As I watched the group of goblins swell from a group of two to eight I started to curdles myself silently. I had only dug one hole to hide myself in. I would have to execute my plan perfectly for this to work because, like an idiot, I hadn’t given myself any where else to retreat to in case this went wrong. Taking deep breaths I entered into the familiar calm of meditation, I had gotten to the level of this skill where I felt like Buddhists were being a bit dramatic about the whole thing.

A short time later the goblins had organised themselves. It had taken a lot of bonks but they had got there in the end. I actually had a moment of panic as I thought the Bonk was among them, but happily that wasn’t the case. The force was split into three groups of four with two stealth goblins pressed up to the back walls- I refused to call them assassins. The units were pretty standard although two of the groups had extra tall super solider types towering over them a little. The two large goblin women carried millipede shells and had dark war paint on their faces, which seemed a bit of an extra touch when you fought half the time in darkness. Not wanting to get spit in my eyes again my plan was pretty simple.

I lay buried in my codon and kept waiting as the groups slowly patrolled the space- no doubt looking for their missing friends. I ignored the large groups knowing they wouldn’t find me and watched the assassins behind them. My perception was pretty decent so it wasn’t too hard to keep track of them. They each watched one of the groups on the side that didn’t have the women super soldiers and the whole group seemed to to be set up as a trap. The plan appeared to be to entice the enemy to attack the worse defended groups that were far enough away from each other to seem killable. Then while that happened the assassin would sneak in and kill one of the threats and harass the others so that the main forces had time to react. The two super solider groups were all but shoulder to shoulder to feed this image making the outside groups seem like easier targets.

Anyone with half a brain would realise something was wrong about the scenario, but the formation of the goblins still posed the question of a higher intelligence. I severely hoped that wasn’t the case.

I continued the wait in my coffin in the soil. The assassins were slightly browner then there average counterparts and must of had some sort of stealth skill as they blended into the background to a supernatural degree. I was confident that they were far enough away that I could take them out without too much issue. They periodically ducked behind big corpses to stay out of view as the group moved on, this gave me time to creep towards them. The only torches in the room were in the hands of the groups of four and I found this to my advantage.

I waited until the group passed the side of the wall I was near and waited for the assassin to come closer to my hiding spot. They creeped slowly from cover to cover and twisted their knives absentmindedly as they did so. They obviously had higher stats then the average goblin chump, but that seemed to be heavily invested in agility. I waited in silence as the menacing goblin crept past me. I watched him out of my peripheral vision, careful not to give him the scene he was being stared at.

I held myself back when he walked beside me-the urge to jump out at him high. When he had moved far enough away that I couldn’t hear his breathing anymore I slowly slid forward out of the coffin I made. The dirt on my back and head stuck to me unnaturally and I realised that was my camouflage skill at earth. I slid back into the hole and felt it partially link to the dirt surrounding it. It was interesting to see a skill in action, I resolved myself to pay closer attention to skill activation in the future. The system seemed so often omniscient beyond understanding, and yet it was bound by a similar set of limitations to which a man is bound mortal. It was important to remever that the system was a tool to be used and exploited, one that couldn’t be invincible.

Cursing at my distraction I once again slid out the hole and began crawling toward the assassin. After a quick sweep the hunched back of the crouched goblin became visible. I army crawled towards him and the snapped of pincers on the front of my armour had been modified thankfully short enough to not be a problem.

He paused suddenly and I instantly dropped with my dirt streaked head palangrero face down and my breathing silent. I heard his breathing but even straining that was all I got. I heard the snort and steps as he continued and tried to be thankful that I received that at all.

I shadowed the killer until he settled behind a millipede again. At this point I rushed towards him and when he turned around I was close enough to grab his face and punch it. His jaw had a lot of give and absorbed the impact well. When I pulled him in for a head butt I found two knives underneath my ribs. Changing tactics fast, I dropped my body down and used the momentum to slam his head into the dirt. The two daggers barley poked through my hard skin before he hit the ground.

Grimacing I headbutted the back of the goblins skull while it was stunned and felt it’s hard skull smash under my head waist then it’s brethren. These guys were definitely the squishy ones of the family as that headbutt should of been terrible for me.

I grabbed the daggers and stabbed them into his back side by side. I then looked away as I raked line after line into the corpses body. I kept a grimace on my face as the hit blood poured all over my hands and arms, fling even guilter as the blood stopped spraying and turned cold to my touch. The fake clawing crates I took the daggers with me as I crawled away to the back of the room and began circling.

At this point the slow steps forward they had been taking had let them cover 3/5ths of the room. They had started to chatter between groups nervously as they got closer to finishing their sweep of the room. This time I was alot less quiet as I crept forward. I was crawling forward, weaving in and out of the dead bugs when the assassin saw me. I saw him turn and shoot his eyes towards me and so in response I went limp with my head covered by the tail of a millipede.

The curious goblin stayed where he was for a moment blinking before deciding to check what he had seen. The fact he’d not instantly alerted the group mente my armour was working as intended. It looked enough like a millipede that it allowed my camouflage skill to trigger and for me to blend in debris scattered room. When the goblins saw me they saw a strange millipede moving erratically on the floor. When they blinked and looked again they saw nothing but a corpse.

The assassin kept coming closer to my prone form to try and assure himself he hadn’t seen any monsters in the dark. As soon as his breathing was loud enough for him to be in striking distance I happily dispelled these assurances.

I dove upwards with both daggers and pierced them straight through his mouth. Goblin successfully assassinated I withdrew one dagger to slit the throat and stop the gurgling. This part is where it got nasty.

I lay the goblin flat on the ground face down and prepared the punching implement to write on his back and test out the capabilities of my new weapon. Thinking of it as a creative writing class I struggled to keep such imagery in mind as I slashed down in mockery of claw marks once again, but meeting much resistance. Keeping in the ruse I carved out one of the few words of goblin I knew into the dead monsters back. The word nothing clearly visible through the torn flesh. I crawled off on all fours with feet and legs powering me forward-it would be better for the plan now if some goblins were to glimpse me in the dark.

Rare skill unlocked:

Crawling I

10% crawling speed

5% added stealth in crawl

Look master they’re crawling!

No! No No No No. they do not crawl…

like me.

The skill didn’t really change much but I appreciated it regardless, already it seemed easier to manoeuvre along the ground. I went and dug another hole for me to hide in towards the centre of the room. Then as I went to lay in it, sudden inspiration struck. Cursing my generation of ideas at the most inopportune times I crawled towards the massive hole I’d left in the dirt. I knew the general direction but not the definite location as it was hard to have landmarks in the messy cavern. It took me longer then I would of liked to find the massive pit again and the goblins had turned around for a returning sweep of the room. They were being surprisingly thorough as this search went a lot slower. The first time seemed to be more focused on setting a trap then actually looking for the bodies of the other guards but now that priority has shifted.

I could probably snag another kill or two as the groups grew less clumped and some goblins became targets for a while. Ultimately though it wasn’t worth it, I wasn’t trying to kill all the goblins, I was just trying to terrify them.

I quickly used my daggers to create scattered lines in the pit-their longer baldes easier to use then my punching claw. I built up a number of fake cake marks To make it look like something had crawled it’s way out of the unexplained hole that had opened up in the ground. I actually almost fell in the hole trying to make marks further down the pit. At this point I realised I should commit less to this task-folklore has thrived on far less after all.

I ditched the daggers in the mana health and safety warning and made a brief trace of tracks on the dirt with my pincer puncher(yes that was it’s patented name) before crawling to the far end of the room and digging yet another hole. Buried in once again I waited for the task force to see what I’d left them.