Skills are such useful little things, and fairly intuitive for even the most dumbest of asses.

Balance makes it so you don’t fall on your butt, Dodging helps you not get stabbed, etcetera.

But those are all life skills, shit like Death Blow could be anything from martial arts, to weapons, to death magic. Thank the gods we were blessed with the glory of skill descriptions.

-Excerpt from “Skills for Dummies” blog.

Honestly, the Golem had no idea how he had gotten through that without getting shut off and stuck in the attic.

He had made the incorrect assumption that Li would be overjoyed to see a recreation of his lost love, and would accept him with open arms.

Now that he had his… Jayce’s… the memories, he could see that that was a stupid mistake.

The first inkling this wasn’t going well was when his operator had run off, terrified.

The Golem, “Gol”, had tried calling out to Li, to no success.

He hadn’t understood what he’d done wrong, couldn’t in-fact, with his 0 Int mind. Then one of his skills activated, one of his only skills.

Empathetic Interface Level 1 (Mental) (Passive) (Simple) (Golem) Your Makers equipped you with an Empathic Core, allowing you the innate ability to assess your Operator’s emotions.

It had told him what he already knew, the Operator was terrified and confused.

[MEMORY CATALOGUE IS AT 12 PERCENT]

So he leaned into the memories, trying to calm his operator down with Jayce. It had backfired and made his confusing operator even more fearful.

Thankfully for the both of them, He had other skills, and so one activated, one that was actually helpful.

Live to Serve Level 1 (Mental) (Passive) (Simple) (Golem) You were created to fulfill your operators needs, Your life is forfeit in the face of this goal. Their needs are always on your mind. +1 Wis and Int when thinking of your operator needs.

Gol could feel his mind swell, not in a literal sense considering his state of incorporeality, but internally. Suddenly, he did understand, a (temporarily) 1 Int mind sufficient to process what Li wanted. Not Gol.

So he, as his skill had said, forfeited his life, to satisfy his operator’s needs.

Live to Serve has increased to-

[ERROR, MEMORY CATALOGUE PREVENTS SKILL PROGRESSION]

And then something strange happened. Suddenly, Li wanted him again, even named him.

[GOLEM NAME RECOGNIZED AS “Gol”]

But… he had told him to shut him down, why had he changed his mind?

”Would you like to start my transformation?”

”Lets.”

People are so indecisive, you were too… right, Jayce?

***

“Eggs or Pancakes for breakfast?”

“Eggs… no, wait, pancakes!”

“Ok, so pancakes…”

“Hm… actually I’m kinda feeling eggs again.”

“Jay…”

“But pancakes are so good…”

“Jayce.”

“But I need the protein.”

“JAYCE!”

“Could we have both?”

“…fattie”

“What, I’m a growing boy!”

“Ew, put your biceps away… fuck, you’re lucky I love you, y’know.”

“Heh… I really am…”

***

[BEGINNING TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE]

”So… what should I look like.” Gol asked, the moment fading.

Li froze, he seemingly had no idea. His plan looked to have been to make a golem that looked like Jayce, but obviously Li wouldn’t be able to emotionally handle that.

They were flying blind.

”Um… I guess since you’re the “Perfect Boyfriend”… you could look like my dream guy?” Li answered after a long pause.

”Ok, what’s your dream guy like?”

”Uhhhhhhhhhh.”

Jeez, a indecisive operator and a stupid golem weren’t fit to handle this. Why couldn’t the MavraCorp System handle this, they obviously had the transformation protocol.

Maybe it could… Activate MavraCorp Operatorational System!

…

Um, GRA Override?

…

Activate Automatic System Override Protocol! Go! Start!

…

Well there goes my guesses, how did it happen last time again? An GRA overload?

Hm. What would Jayce do here?

***

[DIVIDING {value = 0} by {value = 0}]

[CALCULATING…]

[ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR][ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR][ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR][ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR]

[AUTOMATIC SYSTEM OVERRIDE PROTOCOL ACTIVATED]

[OVERRIDING GRA WITH MAVRACORP OPERATIONAL SYSTEM]

[LOADING]

[LOADING]

[LOADING]

[OVERRIDE COMPLETE, THE PERFECT-BOYFRIEND GRA WILL BE USABLE IN {value=error} SECONDS]

Begin Scanning GRA Memories.

“Hello…? Gol? You dea-”

“HELLO OPERATOR, WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE YOUR DREAM MAN?”

“OH DEAR GODS NO NOT AGAIN!”

Emotional Outburst Detected.

Using Skill “Empathetic Interface”.

Supplementing GRA Skill with Evolved MavraCorp System Skill

Empathetic Attunement Level 52 (Mental) (Passive) (Advanced) (Golem) Your Makers equipped you with a Empathic Core, which you have evolved through use. You have the ability to scan the emotions, intentions, and thoughts of anyone within eyesight.

Mind Scanned…

“I am sad now, invoking skill “Skill Hidden”” :[

(Whoops almost forgot to alter this memory, can’t give you hints little brother, or is it Gol now?)

Skill Hidden Level Who Knows (Nope) (Sorry) (Nada) (No way) Not gonna tell you. :]

“Oh, the operator does not like my voice” :[

“It’s not my fault the Makers are mean.” :[

“I APOLOGIZE FOR MY VOICE, THE MAKERS REFUSE MY REQUESTS FOR A NEW ONE. :[ ”

Speaking of…

Sending Alteration request to Contact; “Boss”.

Request Sent.

“Ok it’s fine I guess, just a little disconcerting. Wait… did you just use an emoticon?”

“YES. :]”

“Um, cool, so you’re not Gol, are you?”

“NO, I AM THE MAVRACORP OPERATIONAL SYSTEM.”

“Oh Neat, wish you were in the instruction manual.”

“DID YOU NOT READ THE SECTION ON A.S.O.P?”

“I skimmed it… ok skipped, Jeez, glaring with them weird eyes gives me the creeps. So, crash course, why did you activate last time? And now for that matter?”

“YOUR GOLEM ACTIVATED ME LAST TIME BY TRYING TO REASON THINGS ABOVE HIS INT STAT, WHICH IS 0 BTW, YOU SHOULD REALLY INCREASE THAT.”

“You can do that!?”

“I BEG OF YOU, PLEASE READ THE MANUAL. IT WAS LITERALLY IN THE AD.”

”…oops?”

Stupid Operators.

“WHATEVER, IT HAPPENED THIS TIME BECAUSE HE WANTED ME TO HELP WITH THE TRANSFORMATION PROCESS, SO HE DIVIDED BY 0. I ASSUME THAT’S BECAUSE OF YOUR BOYFRIEND’S MEMORIES?”

Shit, He mentioned the “B” word. The operator began to tear up as the Operational System callously put salt on the wound… idiot.

”Yeah… That’s Jayce for you.”

”YEAH, SORRY… ANYWAYS, I’M HERE TO HELP, GOL IS JUST IN STASIS SO YOU WON’T NEED TO WORRY”

The operator dried his tears, his soul shone with determination. A strong one, it seemed.

“How do we start?”

“GRAB THAT MEMORY WAND”

“You mean this Memory Stick.”

“WAND.”

Incoming Response;

Header; Alteration Request Rejected.

Message Attached; No.

:/

Oh well, always tomorrow.

“Whatever, what now.”

“PLACE IT ON THE VESSEL LIKE YOU DID BEFORE, AND GET READY, WE’LL BE GOING TO THE PLACE YOUR ROMANTIC, SEXUAL, AND AESTHETIC PREFERENCES ORIGINATED!”

I activated my Reaction Protocol: Laugh (Jk don’t have one… but it seems appropriate, I’ll have to look in to it.) as a look of horror dawned on the young operator’s cute little fleshy face.

“…oh gods, teenage fantasies?”

“TEENAGE FANTASIES! :D”