“What do you mean phone calls?” She asks, inching her head forward.

“Some guy. He’s been calling me and taunting me or something. Said something about how I’m missing something really obvious in our recent cases.”

“Missing something? You sure it’s not someone doing some practical joke?”

“Doubt it. They knew about Shaw on the same day as I did.”

“But… How? Almost nobody knew about Shaw.”

“Beats me kid.” I say, taking another sip.

“Ok. Ignoring the fact that I’m mad that you didn’t tell me this. What does it have to do with your wife?”

I feel a chill come up my spine. I’ve got to play this one right.

“You remember to face?”

“Two…? Oh the guy who missed his shot?”

“Ya well he was saying that me and that guy have a lot in common. You know murdered wife and all.”

“Well he sounds like he sucks. So he’s our lead?”

“Problem is I don’t know where to start looking. Plus I don’t know if it’s just one person.”

“What do you mean?”

“He kept saying we. We know this. We know that.”

“Hanes…” She looks around the empty bar and leans in closer. “Are you being tracked by some secret organization? Are you a spy?” She whispers while giggling through her teeth.

“Shut up Kid.”

She begins to chuckle.

“Are you sure you want in on this?”

“Absolutely! Don’t you dare take me off this case!”

“Alright, fine. Fuck where was I?”

I can feel the drink getting to me. Lost count of how many fill ups we’ve had. Impressive that she’s keeping up.

“You being a spy.”

“Ya, ya.”

“How about you tell me about what happened to Amanda?”

Shit. I knew I couldn’t avoid this part but I was kinda hoping that she’d focus on the other guy.

“It’s weird. I don’t remember much. Just seeing her on the floor… six knife wounds along her chest. Face intact. This stare out into the distance. She was shocked. All I remember is being covered in her blood.”

Silence.

“Must have been so hard walking in on that.” She says in a serious tone.

She places her hand on the bar on top of mine. I don’t remember the last time I felt someone's skin that wasn’t cold and dead. It’s very soft. I pull my hand away.

“In that moment. I was just so angry. I lost control.”

“That’s ok.” she says reassuringly not knowing the monster I am. “Do you know why someone would want to hurt her?”

“No. She was amazing. Even my mom liked her and she hates me.”

“Could they have been trying to get to you? I’m sure you made a couple enemies over the years. Is there anyone you locked up who maybe got out?”

“I don’t know. I’m just some guy who just did what he was told. A good detective. A good soldier. Nothing more.”

She grabs the bottle and pours the last drops into my glass.

“Well. You may be a good detective but you sure are dumb.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“If this girl was as perfect as you say, then why the hell would she pick you if you were nothing more?” She says getting on her feet.

“You’re a good man Scott. Better than many. You may be rough around the edges…very rough. But you are always looking out for people. Cut yourself a little more slack.”

Amanda would always say some inspirational crap like that.

“Fine. Can we just move on?”

She giggles and drips the last few drops in our glasses.

“Well. If I’m going to be of any use tomorrow I need to get going.”

In one shot she throws back the last of her drink and smacks both hands against the bar. You can see the wavering knees as she puts most of her weight in the palms of her hands.

“You good kid?”

“Fine. I just need to go sleep it off.”

As she moves off in the distance I hear the fumbling of her keys.

“You driving?” I ask, turning to get up. Feeling a wave of heat emanating to the tips of my ears.

“Ya. I don’t live too far.”

“My ass you don’t. It took you 45 minutes to get here. Not a chance I’m letting you drive.”

“How did… Ok spill it.”

“What?”

“Come on! You did the body language thing.”

“No clue what you’re talking about kid.” I say turning to the last of my drink.

“No no no. Not today. Come on. How did you do it?”

I look at the last of my drink before savoring the last of it.

“Fine.” I turn to her glossy eyes with a smirk of childlike wonder.

“You are on Bill’s shift and it's a Thursday. That means that Bill wants to get out early because he does his bowling night with some of his friends from school. That means you would have left at the latest around five thirty. Bill is a stickler and always leaves the office after saying bye to every single person who works there. Meaning you were with him at that time because he always insists on driving because of that one time he met Jackie Stewart in 73’ and got some driving lessons from it. I bet he even told you about it even though he already has four times. That's when you called me from my office. I know because I can always hear the damn ventilator in the background. You like about fifteen minutes from the office because of the time you forgot your badge at home and it took you thirty seven minutes to go there and come back. So from here that gives me a window between thirty minutes to an hour. Now I know you went home because you don’t wear anything that could seem unprofessional at work and you did your hair but didn’t take a shower because the last six inches of your hair is notched from using an elastic band which you always do at work. That one gets more to guessing the time frame but I assumed it would take close to an hour and judging by the fact that you stopped to eat and you are the slowest eater I have ever met. I assumed that the longest amount of time for you to eat two pepperoni pizza slices and a doctor pepper took thirty minutes. So that leaves you with about forty five minutes max to make your way here.”

Her jaw drops to the floor.

“What the hell was that?” She yells out flailing her arms in the air. “You don’t even need me.”

“What are you saying now?”

“You’re this super cop and I am apparently so predictable that you know which drink I took. How the hell did you know what I ate?”

“Well I can smell it on your breath honestly.” I say with a slight chuckle.

“I’m useless to you.”

“Listen kid. You don’t want to be like me.”

“But you are right. The hair, the food, even Bill telling that damn story!”

She looks off in the distance before darting back at me.

“If you couldn’t figure out your wifes murder than how the hell am I going to help?”

“Don’t worry about that. Some cases are just harder to solve.”

“But this is for you!” She exclaims.

I see the tears on the verge of bursting out of her eyes.

“Don’t worry about me kid. Let’s get you to bed ok?”

We make our way to my apartment. It's just too far to go to hers as the snow stabs at us. Poor kid cares so damn much. Can’t even see a lost cause when it’s right in front of her.

“Listen kid. I’m really sorry about the place. I haven’t exactly had anyone over in a couple of years.”

“You worry so much. I think you care what I think.”

“I just don’t want you getting eaten by one of the rats.”

“No. You care what I think. And I think you are very impressive.”

“Sure kid.”

What does she know? The echoing footsteps mark our arrival to my home.

“Alright kid let’s get you to bed.” I say as I try directing her to the mattress.

She scans the room.

“Wow! This really is a shithole.” She says in awe.

“Tried to tell you.”

“But… why? You have three working lightbulbs in the whole place.”

“Will you just go to bed already?”

“Ya, ok.”

She finally makes her way onto the bed.

“Why do you treat yourself this way?”

“What are you talking about kid?”

“I think. You like living in the dark cloud you built yourself.” She says digging herself into the blankets.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I think… That you think that you like treating yourself like crap. Almost like you are one of the criminals you lock up.”

“Very intuitive of you.”

“Sorry! That’s not what I meant.”

“Forget it! You’re probably right.”

A silence falls in the room.

“Hanes… can you tell me what the war was like?”

“Why do you want to know that?”

“Well… so many people say such awful things about the soldiers. Calling them losers and failures. But they all seemed so broken.”

“Getting the info from the source huh.”

“Well you’re the only one who seems to really want to talk about it.”

“You’re making me open up way too much tonight. I hope you’ll forget most of this tomorrow.”

“Probably.”

“Well what is there to say. It fucking sucked. We went over and I don’t even remember what we were fighting for. The jungle was so thick that you felt suffocated just standing there. You could drink the air how humid it was. You know we trained to come out guns blazing like wild horses but that’s not how it went. It was more like this horror movie. Every step you took you didn’t know if it would be your last. They didn’t kill you by putting a bullet in your head. You could only be so lucky. No, you would do it by falling onto sharpened sticks covered in shit or being burnt alive with incendiaries. It may have been called a war. But we were really just lambs to the slaughter.”

“How did you get out alive?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. Many better men should have made it home instead of me. But I guess life wasn’t done punishing me for some reason.”

“ Cut yourself some slack Scott. You brought Shaw home.”

“Some good that did. He still kicked the bucket before me.”

“But he had a life. He had a family. You helped him get that.”

“Ya maybe.” I look at her as she stares at me with this undeserved admiration. “Get some rest kid.”

“Goodnight Scott.” She says rolling over to her side.

Misguided. But a good kid. Despite the bedroom door trying its hardest to wake her I manage to make my way in the living room to my chair. My eyes are heavy and my body aching all over. I start to fade off. At the edge of slumber I hear it. The downstairs buzzer which snaps me back awake. Who the fuck is buzzing me at this time.

“Gotta fix that fucking speaker.”

I try futilely to make my way down without a peep to see nothing at the entrance. Just the poorly closed door slamming against the frame by the howling wind. When I go to close it I notice one drop of blood. It’s fresh. The splatter indicates that it's leaving the building. Something’s wrong about it. Why is there only one drop? Nothing on the door or anything close by. If you were to cut yourself just outside a building you had access to. Wouldn’t you go inside? I make my way outside to see if I can find any other drops or anything. The drop size must have been big enough to that at least one other somewhere. Just around the corner of the building I see it. I bloody trail leading towards the dumpster. Signs of bloody fingers dragged along the asphalt.

That's when I felt the warm breath against the back of my neck.

“Hello Detective.”

That’s the last thing I remember.