《Wait! I Wrote That? (A Collection of Old, Horrific Stories) ✓》Story 2: Monastario Taxes California (Disney Zorro Fanfic)
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Genre (s): Short Story/Fanfiction
Written When? 9th Grade
Diego de la Vega and his mute sidekick, Bernardo, were on their way into town to visit the Farmer's Market.
Diego, who steered the horse-drawn carriage, glanced at his partner and said, "I'll tell you, Bernardo, when was the last time Zorro was needed in the cuartel?"
Bernardo tapped his head and pointed at Diego's chest. With his pointer finger, he drew a Z in midair and held it up to Diego's face.
"Bravo, Bernardo!" was Diego's response. "One full week! Do you think Monastario is finally giving up?"
Bernardo shrugged.
"I sure hope so," Diego added with. "There was something about that comandante I didn't like. Can you take a guess on what it was?"
Bernardo nodded and held out his arm. He pretended to be handling a whip, and he snapped his arm forward over and over again.
"Yes," Diego said when he saw what Bernardo was acting out, "it was the way he mistreated those poor Indians and made them move those rocks at the mission. What a heartless man. Well, at least we can finally travel to the Farmer's Market without worrying about the safety of the people. This is what every day should be like." He peered into the gorgeous, blue sky. "Blue skies, birds flying, and a chicken comandante." He laughed and patted Bernardo's shoulder. Picking up the reins, he shouted, "Hyah!" and flicked them.
They arrived at the cuartel ten minutes later.
Diego sniffed the air. "Ah, that is the scent of succession, Bernardo. I have never felt this good in my entire life." He waved to the Indians who roamed the cuartel.
Bernardo's eyes rolled over to a large man, Sergeant Garcia, hanging up posters and whistling. He nudged Diego.
"What is it, Bernardo?" he asked, gazing at him.
Bernardo frantically pointed at Garcia.
Spotting him, Diego said, "Huh, that's interesting. Why would Sergeant Garcia be up at this hour?" He handed the reins to Bernardo. "I wonder what those posters say. Bernardo, watch the carriage." He adjusted his jacket and held his palm out to his partner. "Hand me my book."
Nodding, Bernardo reached into the back of the carriage and dug out a thick, 400-page book. He set it in Diego's palm.
"Thank you, my friend," Diego said. He began to climb out of the carriage. "You wait here with the horses, and I'll be back in a jiffy."
Smiling, Bernardo saluted.
Diego's feet hit the stoned ground. He put his hat back behind his neck and exhaled. Then he marched towards Garcia and stopped behind him.
Garcia had not noticed him. He was too busy whistling and gluing a poster to the wall.
Diego waited for a bit, and then he said, "Buenos días, Sergeant."
Garcia screamed and dropped his load of posters. Whirling around, his eyes widened. "Don Diego!" He placed his hand to his heart. "Why would you do that?" He shivered, as he tried to recover from his scare.
Diego apologized. "Lo siento, Sergeant, but I was wondering,–" He pointed at the posters, "what's with these posters you're so kindly hanging up?"
"Oh," Garcia said. He took off his hat and held it in front of his chest. "Comandante's orders, Don Diego. As you should know, he gives the orders. I only follow them."
Chuckling, Diego said, "I am well aware, Sergeant. May I please read one of them?"
Garcia's fingertips tapped the rim of his hat, and he said, "Si, señor," in a shaky voice. He moved off to the side so that Diego could have a clear view of the poster he just hung up.
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Leaning into the poster, Diego read it. His expression went from happy to grim. Afterwards, he backed away from the poster and asked Garcia, "What's with this, Sergeant?"
"Comandante's orders," Garcia anxiously spoke. "He gives the orders. I only follow them."
Suddenly, the sound of cantering horse hooves polluted the atmosphere.
Diego turned to see an enormous Freiberger cantering towards him. On top of the Freiberger sat none other than Capitán Monastario.
He halted his horse in front of Diego and Garcia.
Diego sighed.
Monastario said, "Sergeant," in a stern voice, "have you finished putting up the posters?"
Garcia didn't speak. He hid behind his hat and pointed his chubby thumb at Diego, who read in his book.
Monastario glanced at him. His eyes moved over to Garcia, and he gasped, looking back at Diego. "Diego de la Vega!"
Diego looked up from his book and waved.
Monastario shot Garcia an angry look and dismounted his horse. Approaching Diego, he crossly asked, "What are you doing here, de la Vega?"
"My apologies, comandante," Diego said. "Bernardo and I were on our way to the Farmer's Market, and we stumbled upon these posters." Closing his book, he pointed his hand at the posters. "Which I meant to ask, what's all this talk about taxing the people of Pueblo de Los Ángeles and imprisoning them if they can't pay their taxes?"
"It's none of your business, de la Vega," Monastario said. "I'm merely doing my duty, and I don't need spineless weaklings like you to keep getting in my way. Sergeant Garcia!"
Jumping, Garcia quickly hobbled over to him and stood tall, his belly sticking out. "You called me, capitán?"
"Si," Monastario said. He focused his attention on Diego. "Escort our friend back to his carriage, and make sure he stays there."
Saluting, Garcia said, "Si, capitán!"
Diego upsettingly lowered his book.
Monastario remounted his horse and glared.
Diego said, "Don't look so excited, comandante. Not everyone fails to capture a fox."
"Ooh," Monastario spoke, blushing embarrassingly. "You try my patience, de la Vega. Guide him to his carriage, Garcia." Turning his horse, he called, "Lancers, mount up!"
The gates to the prison opened. A dozen soldiers sprinted out from them. They hurried to their tied up horses and untied them.
Monastario urged his horse to a canter. He shouted, "No slacking off!" as he cantered towards the lancers. "We ride to the mission... immediately!"
"Sergeant Garcia," Diego said worriedly, as he watched the comandante and his lancers ride away, "why are they targeting the mission? My friend, Padre Fray Felipe, lives there."
Garcia patted his shoulder and led the young man to his carriage, where Bernardo still waited. "Oh, please forgive me, señor, but the comandante's been in a bad place ever since he lost that battle against The Fox last week. He has ordered his men to ride around Los Ángeles with him, visit every house, and ask people for their money."
Bewildered, Bernardo locked eyes with Garcia and grabbed Diego's wrist, helping him into the carriage.
Once settled, Diego picked up the reins in his left hand and snapped his fingers in Bernardo's face with his right, causing Bernardo to take his eyes off Sergeant Garcia and stare at him instead.
He said, "Well thank you for that most eventful morning, Sergeant Garcia, but my father will be expecting me home soon with a fresh batch of apples. I've heard that the tavern has gotten some new wine from Mexico City, and I'm sure a brilliant sergeant, such as yourself, who has been working nonstop, should probably stop by and give it a taste."
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"Ooohhh," Garcia said, at the thought of wine. He patted his belly. "Well, if you insist, Don Diego, I have been riding around in a hard saddle for a few days now."
"Even better!" Diego stated. Lifting his hand, he gave Garcia's back a pat. "Hurry before they run out of wine!"
"Si!" Garcia saluted, treating Diego like he was Monastario. Placing his hand on the hilt of his sword, he hobbled away.
Diego winked at Bernardo, but then he lost his smile and became serious. "Bernardo, this is serious. Monastario is taxing the people of Pueblo de Los Ángeles. If they can't pay their taxes, then he's going to throw them in prison and flog them until they fall. Monastario and his lancers are riding to the mission to ask Felipe for his money, but as you should know, monks don't have money. Felipe needs somebody to warn him about Monastario before it's too late. But who?" He tapped his chin to think.
Bernardo mimicked.
Eventually, Diego snickered. Lowering his hand, he leaned in towards Bernardo and asked, "A fox, perhaps?"
Understanding who he was talking about, Bernardo checked their surroundings to make sure nobody was watching. He faced Diego and asked, "Choo choo choo?" redrawing the Z in midair.
Winking, Diego nodded.
Bernardo grinned.
Diego flicked the reins, urging the horses forward.
***
Monastario and his men rode for a long time.
Meanwhile, at the mission (church), Padre Fray Felipe picked fresh oranges from his orange trees. His ears caught the sound of the approaching horses. Confused, he looked up from his basket to see Monastario and the lancers halting their horses on the church grounds.
They dismounted and tied up the impatient horses.
Remaining calm, Felipe held the basket's handle in both hands, waiting.
Monastario gave the lancers strict orders about keeping an eye on the horses, and then he spotted Felipe. Smirking, he marched up to him and said, "Gracias, señor," picking out one of Felipe's oranges.
Not delighted about his appearance, Felipe asked Monastario, "Why are you here, comandante? There are no Pueblo here. Go harass another church."
Monastario sank his teeth into the skin of the orange and said, "Oh please, Padre, I'm merely here on duty. I'm not seeking out your Pueblo. I'm seeking out your money."
"Money?" Felipe asked. "What are you talking about? What money?"
Monastario finished Felipe's orange. Laughing, he tossed the remains onto the dirt. "Your money, Padre. What do you think? It is time for the citizens to pay their taxes, no refunds."
Felipe retreated backwards. Scoffing, he turned his back to the comandante. "The people of Los Ángeles have never been asked to pay taxes!"
"Until now," Monastario said, drawing his sword. "Now, pay up!" The tip of his sword touched Felipe's neck.
Startled, Felipe explained, "You should know that I don't have any money, comandante. I'm a monk!"
"Very well," Monastario said. He whistled to the lancers. "Lancers, we have a prisoner! Take him away!"
"Si, capitán!" the lancers called. A half dozen of them approached Felipe.
Monastario snatched the basket out of the monk's hands.
Two lancers grabbed Felipe by the shoulders.
"What nonsense is this?" he asked while he was dragged towards the horses. "Are you sure this is necessary?"
"As long as I am in charge," Monastario spoke while rubbing down his beard, "yes."
When they reached the horses, Monastario put Felipe in cuffs.
"You're heartless, Monastario," he growled, but that was the last word he spoke, because Monastario tied a rag around his mouth, preventing him from saying anymore.
Before long, the comandante and his lancers rode away, and they took Padre Fray Felipe with them.
Shortly after they left, a new figure galloped onto the church grounds on top of an enormous, black Andalusian. It was none other than El Zorro! He had hoped to make it to the mission before the comandante to warn Felipe, but he didn't realize it was too late.
Quickly dismounting Tornado, his horse, he scurried towards the doors of the church and called, "Padre Felipe!" but there was no answer.
Zorro became nervous. He tried again, "Padre Felipe, it's me! El Zorro!" but yet again, he didn't get any response. Realizing Monastario had beaten him to the church, he said, "Oh no!" and hurried back to Tornado, jumping onto his back. "Tornado, Monastario got here before us! We need to hurry to catch up with him before he reaches the cuartel and rescue Felipe! Quickly!" He kicked Tornado's sides with his spurs.
Whinnying, Tornado jerked forward. However, he took off so fast that Zorro's feet slipped out of the stirrups, and he tumbled to the ground. Dust spewed up from where he landed, but he quickly sat up.
Tornado, unaware that he wasn't carrying a rider, continued to gallop.
From where he sat, Zorro (AKA, Don Diego de la Vega) shouted for his horse. "Tornado, what about me?"
Hearing him, Tornado twisted his head. His eyes widened when he realized he had left his rider behind. He screeched to a stop, and his rump hit the trunk of a tree.
Standing, Diego sprinted to him. He could tell Tornado was embarrassed. He gave him a few reassuring pats and then remounted, giving Tornado one more kick. They took off.
That time, Tornado didn't lose his rider. He and El Zorro galloped forward on a dirt road, away from the mission and towards Capitán Monastario.
***
Monastario and his men rode on the outskirts of downtown Los Ángeles. They dragged Padre Fray Felipe behind them in a large horse drawn cart.
Monastario was whistling, enjoying his success, and Felipe was mumbling some inappropriate comments behind his rag.
Zorro was catching up from behind.
Seeing him, Felipe mumbled, "Zorro!"
Zorro ran as fast as a fox. One could barely see Tornado's hooves banging the ground. Taking one hand off the reins, he reached for his hat and took it off. He threw it forward like a boomerang.
The hat spun towards the lancer steering the horse drawn cart. It hit him in the face, knocking him off the cart. He landed in a puddle of mud.
The draft horses whinnied. They were clearly upset.
Groaning, Monastario hated the fact that the horses had ruined his happy hour. Wanting to know the source of their uneasiness, he turned around on his own horse and snapped, "What is the meaning of–?" His eyes caught Zorro. "Zorro!"
Zorro galloped next to the cart, with his cape flapping wildly behind him. Not wasting any time, he jumped from his horse and landed feet first in the cart that held Felipe. He gestured for Tornado to take off, so he wouldn't get hurt, and ripped the rag off Felipe's mouth.
Felipe said, "Thanks, Zorro, but,–" He held out the cuffs, "I'm chained like an ox."
"Where're the keys, Padre?" Diego asked him.
Felipe answered by tipping his head in the direction of Monastario.
He yelled, "Estupidos!" to the lancers. "Don't just stand there! Shoot him! Shoot him now!"
"Si, capitán!" called the lancers. All of them drew their rifles at the same time. They pointed the guns at Zorro, who replaced the lancer he knocked off with his hat and steered the cart towards Monastario.
Noticing them, he shouted, "Duck, Padre!" to Felipe.
Felipe did.
The lancers shot the bullets, but as usual, they always missed the hero.
Diego pulled back on the reins, and the horses stopped immediately.
Zorro jumped from the cart. His booted feet touched the ground. Once stabilizing himself, he drew his sword and dashed towards Monastario.
The bullets scared Monastario's horse. It threw its rider and took off at a full gallop.
Jumping to his feet, Monastario drew his own sword. He and Zorro became involved in an intense sword duel. The clashing of blades echoed in the air. Monastario called to the lancers, "Shoot him! Shoot him now!"
One lancer fumbled around with his gun, but instead of shooting at Zorro, he shot at Monastario, instead. The bullet barely missed the comandante's face and hit a tree trunk, scaring some squirrels away.
"Estupido!" Monastario shouted, as Zorro backed him up to the tree that had been shot. "Don't shoot me! Shoot Zorro!"
"Right, comandante!" said the lancer, and he reshot the gun.
The bullet flew towards Diego and tore through his shirt sleeve, barely missing his arm. It landed in the ground.
Flinching, Diego dropped his sword and reached for his arm. He checked to make sure he hadn't been wounded.
That gave Monastario enough time to make a run for it.
Diego's sleeve was torn, but he wasn't bleeding. Sighing with relief, he let his arm go and said, "That was way too close." Then he saw Monastario running away and asked, "Where're you going, coward? Are you scared of just one man?" Putting up his sword, he drew his whip and snapped it forward. The whip wrapped around Monastario's chest and upper arms, stopping him.
Zorro pulled, and Monastario went flying backwards. He landed on his back, in between the hero's boots.
Focusing in on Monastario's face, Zorro said, "I would love to continue this game, capitán, but I'm wanted somewhere else. Adios!" With that, he snatched the keys from Monastario's belt and released him.
Monastario reached for his saber, but Zorro was too fast.
He jerked the sword out of its case and stabbed Monastario's cape with the tip of it. The sword went right through the cape and bit into the earth, leaving Monastario trapped.
He pulled on the cape, but it didn't budge.
Zorro and a few of Monastario's men laughed at the sight of the fallen comandante.
He turned red and shouted, "Lancers, shoot him!" but the lancers were too busy laughing. Now was the perfect time for Diego to escape.
As he rushed back to the cart, he picked up his hat and put it on his head. Smiling, he jumped into the cart and unlocked Felipe's cuffs, releasing him.
Felipe said, "Gracias, Zorro!"
Zorro nodded. He whistled for Tornado, and his horse dashed to him. Zorro helped Felipe onto his back and mounted Tornado. Peeking back at the padre, he said, "You might want to hang on."
Felipe grabbed his shoulders.
Tornado trotted forward, but Zorro stopped him at Monastario, who glared into his face, and said, "Until next time, comandante." Drawing his sword, he carved a Z into Monastario's cape and smirked. Putting up the sword, he gave a swipe of his hat and kicked Tornado forward.
They galloped towards a hill in the setting sun.
Monastario remained trapped, listening to his laughing men.
On the top of the hill, Tornado reared and waved his hooves. Once back on four legs, he took off down the hill, and he and Don Diego de la Vega (Zorro) vanished from sight.
***
Monastario returned to the cuartel late that evening, exhausted. He was covered from head to toe in mud, and he was angry. Not only had Zorro beaten him again, but he had also left a mark in his cape.
Maybe if I check in on Sergeant Garcia guarding de la Vega, Monastario thought to himself, my spirit will be lifted. Therefore, he returned to the location where he saw Diego that morning, hoping that his carriage would still be there. Instead of a carriage, though, he saw Sergeant Garcia fast asleep against a barrel. Wine bottles surrounded his ankles.
At the sight of him, Monastario exploded. He clenched his fists and shouted, "SERGEANT GARCIA!" at the top of his lungs.
Garcia shuffled in his sleep. He turned onto his side and said, "No, comandante, I don't want to pet the pretty pony."
Monastario approached him and crossed his arms.
For a few seconds, there was silence. Then Sergeant Garcia's eyes fluttered open, and he asked, "Comandante?" falling to the ground.
"Estupido!" Monastario shouted. "You were supposed to guard Diego de la Vega!" He stomped his foot. "Estupido, estupido!"
"Why are you so grumpy tonight, comandante?" Garcia asked. "Did that rascal Zorro beat you again?"
"Estupido!" Monastario yelled. He brought his hands to his face and sat down, shoving his sword to the ground.
Garcia stared. Eventually, he burst out laughing and sang, "The comandante can't defeat The Fox. The comandante can't defeat The Fox, oh yeah," all through the night in Pueblo de Los Ángeles's cuartel.
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