" I am so tired.", Herim complained to himself as he folded the dish cloth and tossed on top of the table

He was supposed to help prepare soup for the wolves but because he was training he failed his duty. He can make up by helping in cleaning the dishes and pots afterwards.

He moved closer to the table and collected all the food waste that was annoyingly scattered all over. Even though food hygiene is very important, the chefs take it for granted or they don't obsessed over it as much. No wonder Adrian seldom eats with others, he always ends up with diarrhea.

The kitchen was very loud because everyone is yelling and asking for help as they have to hurry up and finish cooking. Then in the little time they have left, they have to make sure that they dish quickly, properly and strategically. Under rationing or over-feeding young wolves is a headache and non-uniform rationing is a nightmare. The wolves will nag so much it would sound like a cave of drunk bats.

As he gathered the waste and tossed it in a wheeled bucket that he was dragging along, he thought about what had happened today.

Being smoke caster indeed makes one very weak and susceptible to tiring easily.He didn't mean to embarrass Valian but he too was being an easy target. He focuses more in learning weapons and fire inventory that he doesn't train the most important weapon being his body. However Valian can be very jerky to Herim so Herim doesn't care that his ego was bruised by these actions. After all whose fault is it anyway?

" Herim, stop being lazy and bring some salt", the main chef screamed at Herim , while he was at the stove.

Herim pouted, pushed aside the bucket and oblige to the instruction.

He turned to the shelf and he picked up a tray of spices then he carried it to the cooking station and when he went back to the shelf to get some more , the second chef yelled for him.

As he was about to leave, the main chef belittled him and asked if he had completed the task he assigned him. Herim tried to defend himself and the chef outside persisted in yelling Herim.

He got annoyed and told the main chef to use his hands as they are not broken. He held his waist and he stormed towards the volcano that was thundering his name

" Why are you yelling so much? Can't you see that you are spitting in the food?? ", He argued waving his hand at the pot in front of him

" Shut up, don't you know I am your senior? Sect master Nalem wants to see you", he told him waving the spoon at him as if trying to hit him with it

" When did Sect master say that? ", He questioned like the adult is lying. He even held his waist at him.

" She had said that when you come here for food , I should let you know ", he spoke already turning back and stirring a bowl of hot soup. The soup smelled delicious and it made Herim wish to stay and taste it.

" Fine , am going.", He eyed the soup and almost reached out to grab it but the chef turned to look at him .

He flicked his hair then swirled away like a prideful lady .

"There are individuals in this sect that appreciate a good thing when they see one. You aren't one of them", he raised his chin to the sky , held his waist and swayed his hips whilst strolling towards the back

Instead of going to where he is supposed to be, Herim went to the cooking station. He aided in adding salt and controlling the fire. Afterwards he moved back to the dishing stations where he helped arrange the dishes, trays and everything else on the large table in front of the benches where students sit. This task consumed two hours and he waited for thirty minutes before he actually showed signs of wanting to leave.

It seems that he wanted to check for something . And that thing produced itself when he saw the students begun to arrive. He left the stations and he childishly ran east

****

Nalem s office as is the rest of other sect masters is in the far back, close to the meeting room.

The offices are not joined in anyway and every two offices are atleast four meters apart

Each office is like a small room and there are exactly fifteen such rooms, ten for the sect masters, one for student affairs, one for student welfare and one for sect master affairs and the last is Kijad s, the sect leader . Every one is identical about the same size as the disciples s resident quarters

They are arranged like cubes of a chocolate bar and in a horseshoe but instead of facing to the center they face to the entry. There is just an empty space in the middle

Nalem s office is the third on the left and is currently the only one with open doors because everyone is still going around the sect handling other matters but most importantly arranging for Kijad s departure.

Herim went on carefree towards her office wondering why she would call him. He was even kicking a tiny rock as he went forward and turned to her doors

" Deer!", He remembered and he nearly tripped over the stone. He cover his mouth in disbelief of his ignorance

Yesterday he didn't submit the work and he didn't even go to the kitchen for deguting the deer. He had not even went to sect master to explain himself.

He was tempted to run away. How could he completely forget something like this ? how is he going to explain what happened without mentioning Joln?

" Do I have to drag you inside?", Nalem spoke casually from within the room and her voice sent chills down Herim s spine.

Herim could almost feel himself shaking in his boots but he swallowed the digestible portion of his fear and he walked inside the office.

Her office was dimly lit . The interior looked no different from the lab exclusive of the tables and sinks . Books and some papers were on the brown desk and some on the floor. The desk-top was a bit messy and there was no doubt the papers on her desk was the work she had assigned them yesterday.

Nalem sat on the corner of the table and was holding a necklace of pearls. She had her eyes closed as she played with the accessory. Though she was motionless, she gave off an aura of explosive intentions

Herim stepped inside and as he was about to kneel on the floor and produce a lie as to why he didn't submit the work, she commanded him to arrest his action

She sounded furious and he thought that she was a bit overreacting but maybe he should start with explaining himself, that way she can only scold him for disobedience .

" Regarding the work..", he was about to start explaining and she tossed the necklace on the ground. She moved from the side of the table and she went on towards him

" Uhmm.. Sect master ,I ", he tried to speak but before then, she reached and sent him to the floor with a hot back-slap.

" How many times should I tell you to behave?", She roared and he turned to look at her.

The slap was so sharp , unexpected and very enraged and when his eyes landed on her hand , it was engulfed in a golden flame

She was hitting him with a body that was fired up. This is the most forbidden form of attacking on the school

He motioned himself to get off the floor and when he did that, she turned to the back and began to unravel.

" Herim, you useless piece of junk. I have spoken, time and time again, never to put yourself in the spotlight, to act maturely, to follow instructions and try not to be a smart rat", her words were traumatizing and her tone was even worse

" Sect master, we wrote the work..", he tried to defend himself and she turned and she painted her hand on his cheek again, spinning Herim to the floor

" Didn't I tell you not to touch my floor?", She barked and immediately Herim jumped to stand however his action was welcomed by another slap and this time he tried to badly not to let himself fall to the floor.

His face was burning and he was sure that his nose is going to start bleeding. His eyes were no longer the same color and werre tearing up, occasionally letting one or two tears down

" We had written the work and we tried..", he quivered

" Silence!! ", She screamed , slapped him and when he lost stability , golden silhouette chains emerged from the floor and hooked his hands firmly. The chains pulled on his hands and they were bruising and burning him.

Herim was crying because he feels this is too brutal of a punishment. His heart drummed in his chest because he fears the capacity of this woman. The pulsation of his vessels was like a demonic stampede and a riot of hornets . The matter in his bones seemed to sublime and thus incapable to keep him standing.

" You are not special. You are not like Ryle or Adrian. Their births were a blessing... not the result of SINFUL CRIME", she screamed and Herim just felt sucked up and sunken.

He came here with the worst thing possible being to rewrite his work and now he has been beat up and is being called names.

Of course he knows he will never compare to those two . Adrian is the brother of the sect leader and Ryle is Jakhyer s prodigy. Even if Herim buys heaven ,the only thing he will be remembered by is the fact that his mother was a mad woman who availed her womanhood like free samples

" I am s..", he tried to apologize and she instead ran her strong hand through his face again and he could not help but to fall down

" Don't touch my floor!!", she screamed and when he tried to get up the chains pulled him further down which he fought against and further paining his wrists

" I will rewrite the work", he yelled and she turned and slapped him again and when he didn't fall to the floor, she slapped him on the other cheek.

His face was red and his heart was leaking. ' is she implying that because he didn't submit the work he is getting punished like this since his mother was mad? '

He cried once more and his tears were like kerosene in his face

" Rewrite? rewrite? Why didn't you do that yesterday? You attacked the poor child because you didn't want him in your group yet he would have helped you 'rewrite'", she asked him and that's when he finally understood her words

" How?",he mumbled these words. How does she know about what happened?

" I received a report. The reporter told me everything. How you beat Joln s face, how you violently held his collar and how Joln was bruised", she screamed

Herim staggered backwards . His mind went empty and he could no longer think or reason what was happening.

She went to the dark corner and she picked up a five inch thick stick ,about twenty inches long and she walked back to him .

As she did that she dragged it on the floor and hit caught fire on her flaming hand.

She walked to behind Herim and as she did that she instructed him

" If I ever , so much as hear that you were found near him or any other student, I won't spare you because if a report comes like this , I will beat you till you are crippled",She promised him and Herim couldn't even hear her

His head felt like he was wearing a tight ring and his muscles felt like they were infused with a molten metal.

" Count!!", She barked and it was like she turning to wolf when she said that but that scared him a little.

" One!", He whispered and didn't even know what he was counting to

Out of the blue his entire senses where numb , as a blunt ended lightning strike, invaded his body like a tsunami. Three quarters of his back felt so rigid and soft and dry as is the rest if his body was being divided into segments

" Your mother ate dirt and slept on a ditch from the time she was a teenager. She never knew the feeling of a warm bed.. she never knew the taste of a home cooked meal .. and she knew the meaning of family. ",She narrated with teeth clenched .

She could see that her words were hitting a nerve and that was not an unwelcome glory.

" Count!!", She commanded him

He whispered two but she hit him again and said that he should start.

" One ", he screamed and after that she slashed his back so much that he felt blood evade the region where she struck.The attack was so rigid and tight that he inevitably toppled to the ground.

" She had three miscarriages and every single time she gloated about being a nobody that could not even bare a child. She laughed and danced throughout town whenever she had a miscarriage. Who would do that if not a bewitched murderer? ", She spoke and Herim felt like the energy she was using to mouth those words was coming out of his soul.

" Are you a carpet? Get off my floor", she cried and beat him three times while he was on the floor.

On the forth he forced himself up and he was already trembling..

" When nobles visited some places in town, she would dance in front of them and say " make love to me and I will give you a son to love for eternity. I just need to know you can love ".. pathetic!!", She spoke even mimicking a squeaky voice that was so sharp and stabbed Herim s composure that he shuddered

He never knew the story of his mother and anything else.

How can he not be torn apart hearing that his mother de-dignified herself in pursuit of a man who could love her son? How can he act immune to hearing that his mother was so alone that she used her pain to amuse herself ? How can he bare that she had no one but her brutal suffering as the cradle she laid on when going to sleep?

" Two!!", He chocked back throwing up and she slit his back into two and this time he feel the blood in front of his eyes and he could already smell the liquid in his nose.

Herim was trembling so much that he was even sweating .

" Do you know that a month before your birth, your disgusting mother snuck into a mortuary and she slipped into a the cremation cocoon so that she is burned alive? When asked why, she said she was too hungry and lonely to watch the moon again. She said happiness is in heaven and if she died she could become an angel and be happy forever... ", She narrated and Herim could not bare it anymore.

Is it because it's his mother that he is able to read her actions to clearly ? How can the world be so deaf as not to hear the loud cries of a helpless woman ?

" Three!", She didn't back down and with every second Herim tried not to fall down, she lashed his back even more forcefully.

" But she had carved a circle with a blade over her pregnant belly and said to burn only that part of her. She said if the (baby) wings are too short, the angel can land among the stars and be closer to the moon , that way the dark will always be bearable and not so cold",

Numb, Broken, Empty, Compressed , Thawing, Tormented, Wrecked, Tattered and unspeakable pain became the only elements of Herim s body. He could no longer feel his heart, could no longer hear his thoughts and could no longer comprehend his surroundings.

His ears felt plucked by cotton, his throat dry as a desert, his breath heavy as his heart, his body weak as his soul, his perspective blinded as his senses .. How can the world be so cruel, how can fate be so merciless and how can reality be so unfair? How can they dare call a woman like that mad? How can they not see she wanted a life better than the one she had and better than the one she could never give her son? How can they not realise that she excluded herself in the things she wants to go to heaven and that she was willing to let them burn her so that Herim could feel the warmth and tenderness she never knew or could ever replicate?

Fifteen minutes later and after eighteen times but was lashed thirty times.

He was standing and he could not even move. Everything on his body hurt so much and breathing was like inhaling broken glass.

She lashed him for the last time and the rod broke and this time, he spit blood on to the floor. She got angry and she stormed out of the room..

Herim stood in the same position as he had been when he was lashed ..

" Mama!!", He whispered and he fell to his knees.

He landed on his fours and he raised his face to the sky but only saw the roof..

" Mama! Where are you? Please hold me . Please come back ", He cried and called his mother like she could hear him.

He sobbed so pitifully and he begged for forgiveness

" I am really sorry. I am a fool", he tried to speak but the words had escaped him and he instead just cried and cried all the unceasing,uneasing, gnawing, drowning, rampant and untamable pain that was shredding him alive.

Little did he realize that , in this savage world and unforgiving society, where dreams materialize in storybooks and criminals have more freedom than the victims, his mother was watching him.

And right now at this moment, her soul was hugging onto his cry self.. but he can't see or feel her

" Xiao SuiYen, don't cry, please don't cry. Mama is here and she is with you", her mother s spirit clung onto him. No matter how hard she called and how tight she hugged and how dearly she consoled , he could not hear or sense her presence. He was immune to his mother s affection

"Mama! I am sorry", He cried to himself, convinced of his aloneness

" SuiYen , don't", she comforted him whilst hugging him but she knew her short-winged angel can't hear her .

" Mama!!", He called her

" SuiYen!", She answered him but in their moment of intimacy, Herim slipped out of her embrace and slid to the floor..

" SuiYen!!", She cried and unfortunately heaven demanded her existence and from the air that she emerged, to the air she reunited..

Herim saw the light green tails of her dress before he fell unconscious..