8

Earth before Awakening

"Did she get up today?"

“No… I had to clean her with a sponge. I didn't know since when she had taken a shower. »

"But what can we do? I already talked to him Darcy… but I feel like I'm facing a wall. She doesn't say anything, and stares at that fucking window all day! She couldn't even get some ashes! Just a few ashes! And this monster is still working at the warehouse... even if he's been living hell since everyone knows he's doing the night shift and he killed the little one, it's not enough... it will never be enough. Look at her ! Looks like she died with him!"

Rayne knew that Karl and his sister-in-law Darcy were in the apartment. They had taken turns watching and feeding her. She heard them, but she didn't move, she couldn't when her broken mind played the same scene over and over again. Sometimes she saw him struggling with all his might until he was thrown into the grinder. Sometimes, she saw him resign himself and try to appear strong until the last moment. But each time the scene ended the same way. She watched helplessly.

When she managed to get home two hours later, Paula was gone and that was for the best. She would have killed her. Upon entering the apartment, she looked around the room and felt completely lost. She no longer had a purpose, no more reason to live. Rage had overcome her then, the chairs had been smashed and the only window in the room had been shattered. If his life no longer had meaning, then what was the point of getting up and pretending that nothing had changed.

When she wasn't stuck in her mind, she wondered why Karl and Darcy wouldn't leave her alone when they already had six dependent children.

" Rayne, it can't go on like this…"

Karl approached her and knelt down. She had rarely seen so much sadness in his eyes. He seemed distraught. She wanted to reassure him, but the words seemed stuck in her throat.

"You can't sit on a bed all your life. Do you think that's what he would have wanted. Seeing his sister destroy his life because he's gone? Rayne be a unrealistic! He was dying! He wasn't going to last until the end of the month and you were never going to be able to save him..."

Karl put his hand to his cheek, a smile on his lips. The burning slap he had just received was probably going to leave traces, but it was a reaction.

"I knew it... I knew I wouldn't have gotten the money in time... He was dying before my eyes. But... but... it shouldn't have happened like that! Why did he come out? He knew he shouldn't go out! He should have died feeling loved, he should have left without being afraid, without seeing these masks, with me! I should have been there! If I had listened to him instead of trying at all costs to earn more money it would not have happened. I failed Karl!" cried Rayne in a voice made hoarse by the silence she had imposed on herself.

It was as if the wall she had been building for several days had just crumbled. Karl sat down next to her and took her in his arms. She finally gave in to sadness.

"You haven't failed. The little one only wanted one thing, that you were finally free. You're only nineteen and already carrying the weight of the world, Ryan knew that. You did everything in your power for him. Now you have to do the same for yourself and I believe I have something that could help you… well I hope so…

He walked over to a satchel on the table that she hadn't noticed. He returned to her carrying a notebook that looked like it had been patched up many times and whose edge had been decorated with children's drawings.

"What is that ?"

“Ryan wanted you to have something left of him. As he saw his condition deteriorating, he gave me this diary and made me swear to give it to you only when you need it most. "

A soft smile appeared on Karl's lips as he thought back to the young boy's insistence that day.

I think it's the right time, he said, putting the notebook in Rayne's hands.

Find yourself a new purpose Rayne, make him proud, he continued before crossing the room and closing the apartment door behind him.

She touched the notebook, then gently turned it over before carefully opening it.

The sensation started from the tip of his toes to reach his chest before a soft noise was heard. It grew heavier and heavier until Rayne realized she was laughing.

"Stop there! Here is Ryan Elkurt's diary of 12 and a half years. If it's Karl, hands off. Paula, I didn't know you were so sneaky...

Go ahead, open it, you know you want it, Rayne. »

Around these words, stars, rockets and small green Martians had been drawn.

Rayne stroked the page with her fingertips before continuing to leaf through the notebook. She discovered other drawings there. He had depicted them both in a spaceship ready to take off. On the next page, they were orbiting the earth.

She realized then that he had drawn a story.

It told the interstellar journey of a brother and his big sister. They visited strange planets, saved the inhabitants from monsters, natural disasters.

Rayne looked at each page as if it were a treasure she had in front of her. In the last drawing, she and Ryan had returned to Earth, but she was leaving for new adventures, this time alone in the ship. He looked at her with a big smile and said goodbye.

A first drop fell on the paper, then another. Rayne clutched the notebook to her chest.

What was she going to do now? But she knew what her brother would have wanted. I promise you Ryan, I will live, she thought.

With that last thought, the world darkened and she collapsed on the bed.

In the distance, a chimney poured out black smoke. It darkened the sky and made the air almost unbreathable, but it was not the only one. The city was dotted with these chimneys, each of which threw up a thick cloud. There was nothing more appalling than knowing that all that smoke was coming from the packages big or small, women, men or children that Rayne had been carrying. For each of those clouds, a family torn apart, a soul hurt, a destiny stolen and yet it was those same lives lost in the darkness that had made his brother so ill, a deadly cycle that would soon be broken.