“What I once said about Edward's plans! So, here it is... Uh, where should I start? But the point is this... Edward is researching everything about you and your power. And because I have had my suspicions since you turned down his offer, I have returned to serving as a spy for myself. I crept into his office when he wasn't around, I unpacked all the files that the man had. That's where I got your name as a subject test, with all the information Edward has gathered about you. But it's not just a simple information. The contents of the file seem to be really talking about your life since you were born until now. It's all in there... Like a diary written exactly by yourself.”

“Okay…” I replied to Ellie's investigation with one word as well as a nod.

“You once said that our every past... Anything that gives us a traumatized feeling... Is the reason why we are destined to have this power. So what if the vessel's condition could actually be tricked?”

“So you mean…”

“Maybe he wants to find a replacement for the vessel that the power within you needs… Maybe he knows that controlling yourself is a pain in the ass, so he wanted to find someone else who could master the same power which was even easier to control. And if that's true, then he will try to kill you first!”

“Then we don't have to worry about anything.”

“Why so?”

“Due to some errors... Or maybe it was the real intention of the world's rules... That the death of this body meant the death of the soul of the goddess of suffering itself. Like what I once also told you about the secret that I have... That I'm already dead and my soul has disappeared somewhere a few months ago. Because of that, Edward won't be able to get this power the second time after he kills me.”

“Ow… But does Edward know about that error, tho? And do you think we can just say that to him now?”

Damn…

Though it sounds annoying, what this girl just said actually makes sense.

“Okay... Putting aside whether your guess that Edward will kill me is true or not, How did he know about all of that info?”

“I already said. He’s a friend to the great carrier of knowledge... I don't know who this person is, and Edward never asked me to take him to that guy. After all, that great carrier is the most mysterious person Edward is currently working with.”

“I see… I almost remember about that one though.”

“So, there are only two choices we currently have right now… First, is to devise an escape plan…”

Putting one hand forward, with fingers as if counting, Ellie then intended to begin the explanation... Where I suddenly came to stop her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

Well… I don't know if I really could rely on my own memories, yet something was so stuck in my mind that I had no choice but to do so.

That time when I saw Ellie crying and daring to refute so many elders as well as Edward in that pale white room…

When she asked someone she hates so much, to create this cool black power-holding bracelet just for someone like me…

When she wanted to know how much pain this curse of mine was, when she apologized and when she found out that I was actually screaming for help, deep in my heart, which I didn't even realize myself…

The one who always sits silently beside me…

The feelings she has for me at this moment…

“What is it actually for? All of these... Why would you even go to the trouble of planning all the things that will do nothing for you at all?” I say that in my own mind, as this Daniel does not dare to assert himself.

But what should I say at a time like this anyway?

I really don't like being helped... People who intend to do so must mean as if they are taking pity on me, and I really hate that fact.

And did this girl specifically intend to help me just because of the instincts of the god soul that was possessing her?

Would it sound too childish if I said that I didn't want her to do this if it wasn't from her own heart's decision without being pushed by anything without exception?

What's wrong with me?

What the hell is happening?!

Why do I suddenly hate everything, and always suspect everyone's good deeds?

What is the reason that makes me hate this situation the most though? Is it because I don't like being pitied, or is it because I'm afraid that the actual reason Ellie is helping me isn't pure from herself even if all this stupid god and goddess story actually never happened?

“I'm sorry Ellie... But as expected, I really don't like being pitied. I'm not used to being helped, and I always sort things out on my own and that always calms me down. I don't want someone to feel indebted to me, and I don't like blaming other people or making that person guilty for failing to help... It makes me feel like other people see me as a weak person…”

The second time I continued complaining, I stood right in front of her.

“And also there's just too much trouble… And stress... All the precious things that I have right now just feel too easy to use as a threat. Now I have no choice but to prove that I am capable in Edward's eyes so that he gives me the permission to gain even more power without having an enemy as big as The Sins Taker itself... I'm a very complicated person, Ellie... And I know that. It's the first time I've felt the loss of someone I love, so I just don't want to feel it for the second time too early.”

“But I just don’t want…”

“Just let me solve all of these problems alone, okay?”

“Okay…”

After such a simple answer, Ellie stood up and moved to my left…

Which She suddenly added that single word with one hard smack on the shoulder where my counter-curse was inflamed the worst…

This body bounced and rolled a few times on the ground.

My head, which was already dizzy from having to endure all the curses and a few other pains and some shit from the very beginning, was now only made worse by the new pain of that one heartless blow…

“What the fuck… Are you doing…”

My voice was hoarse, slightly limp, asked as my face looked up at the morning sky…

Ellie didn't give any answer, so I tried to see what exactly she was doing at the moment.

But the girl was actually standing far away, staring at and hugging her own right fist that she just used to hit my counter-curse.

I suddenly became worried, and moved as fast as I could to approach her. Where then I saw a black mark that had also been lodged in each finger of Ellie’s hand, making her speechless, lowering her head in the pain.

“Ellie, you okay? How can you be that stupid?!”

“So now you're awake?”

“Wha…? I was awake from the start!”

“No, you haven't!”

“I don’t get it, but right now, just stop with that fucking nonsense, okay?”

“Then you stop talking when I say you're not awake yet!”

“Ellie, stop it…”

“If you don't want to run away, then fine! But listen to me first, you dumb... I already told you I have two plans, didn’t I?!”

Eh? Did she really say that before?

But, no no no… She's wrong…

It wasn't just because of the escape plan. Like I said before, it is really a lot more complicated than that…

“I don’t care about any plan. Because it’s not about… I’m just…”

“Just what?!”

I don’t know what to say…

“Niel…” That melodious voice she forced out, while hiding her arms from my own sight.

Then she asked, “Are you actually bothered by why I've always been willing to help you even until this far?”

Ellie cast her gaze far away at the expanse of the lake surface.

“No, I don’t… Or yes, but it's actually not that simple to say…”

“Maybe you just doubt… Am I doing this all purely by my own decision or precisely because I was hypnotized by the god blah blah blah within me... Right? What’s his name again? Dion? Deonisius?”

“Okay, now you please stop reading my mind, you witch!”

“But whatever it was that possessed me, it would never affect my feelings for anyone.”

“What?! None of these things have anything to do with… Oh… Okay…”

“Just be quiet for a minute and let me explain. Basically this means that, really nothing will change to my decision, this decision... No matter how we met for the first time until now, Niel… Or… Is it really that weird to have someone beside you and help you with your own problems?”

“Well… I mean… Wait… Your decision? So you've been intending to help me even since we first met? Do I really look that weak to everyone?”

Oops... Ellie seems to be even more annoyed because of that one question of mine…

“I mean that decision does not mean the actual decision, you stupid...”

“Hah? What?”

Here’s where I'm starting to give up on understanding how this girl's brain really works.

“What I mean about the decision, is…” The girl as usual, casually stopped a sentence right in the middle, in the most important part of it.

“What?”

“No, nothing… Just forget it if you really don't understand it. But the point is... From now on, you better get used to having me, someone who will always help you from the side. Whatever you say, I will never want to leave. We both have the same purpose to protect someone. So if you're complaining about why I'm still here, then you're just talking to a mirror.”

“Your face is so red, Ellie... Are you okay?”

“Shut up! Did you hear what I said earlier or not?!”

I’m just talking to a mirror, huh?

She helps me because she wants to protect me…

Sounds a bit disgusting if I'm the one who said it, but ok, I got it...

But… Me… Someone she cares about…

Just like what might have been the problem between me and Fanya.

So then I said, “Yeah… Yeah I heard. And I quite understand… So you're okay though? Can you bear the pain?”

This girl talks too much tho... She didn't understand at all if I was worried about the slight curse that had stained her fist… So I pulled the hand closer, paying enough attention to its smooth pale skin surface…

Opportunity in adversity…

“Nah… You don't deserve to say that she doesn't understand you, Daniel…” A third person's voice echoed in my own head… It’s Elis…

Shut up, ghost.

“But if that's a problem for you, Daniel, you don't have to worry.”

Why?

“If you think it's that girl's power, or something possessing her that makes her have feelings for you, then you're making a big mistake.”

“How do you know? It was very clear that every great carrier would inherit hatred and love towards every other great carrier who had a connection with his power from his previous life.” I made a very clear point there…

“Then how do you know that the two of you wouldn't fall in love with each other if this power hadn't come down to this world?”

“I don't know, but that's precisely the reason why. Ellie and I may never even meet in the first place.”

“The two of you will still meet, no matter whose world this belongs to. Take my word for it, a woman who has seen so much in her thousands of years of life. Can't you, Daniel?”

I looked weak when I heard Ellie's words earlier…

She sees me as a weak person…

I don’t like it.

“Weak. And stubborn. Ugh… What a stubborn person you are.”

~~~~~

“Niel? You hear?”

Back to reality, Ellie called out to me who was dreaming while still holding her right hand.

I looked at her face for a moment.

I stared as if I'm angry in quotes, then I threw her hands in the air.

Walking slowly under the tree to sit back, calming myself down, where then Ellie asked the same question again. “So we're in agreement, right?”

“Yeah, whatever… Now explain again our current situation.”

Exhaling, a sign of relief or exhaustion just to teach me, Ellie then explained what she had understood so far…

~~~~~

“So... Edward still doesn't know that I've snatched away all the souls from the man that he used to test my magic strength for, without even having to kill him... And that will actually give us plenty of chances to keep playing safe in Sins Taker, you said?”

“Yes. You've got enough souls for now, and Edward's research team hasn't finished inventing the power gauge yet... We can still keep the number of your souls secret for a much longer time and it can't be easy for Edward to find the poor successor of your own power.”

With all the explanations Ellie gave, she said that last sentence as a closing.

What I can get from all her words is…

In the beginning, Edward tried to use me as a weapon. Of course I refuse, because the power that I have will always hurt myself with its own curse.

Basically I will suffer just to save the world... And I don't want that.

So now he wants to kill me, but only after he's managed to find someone else with a past that most exactly the same as mine, that this power will fall into the hands of the right person that he can control. I don't want to die, so Ellie offered to take me to run away with her... But I have two family members left who are very important to me.

Two ordinary mortals without any powers, who would always be Edward's guarantee that I wouldn't run away from The Sins Taker.

We could just also take them both on the run, but that would mean these two normal humans would become enemies of the Whole Sins Takers who had spread all over the world, as saviors in everyone's eyes. Fanya and Deo will continue to live by running and hiding, for the rest of their lives until they are old with the title of criminals. I bet they don't want that either.

So we will remain in the Sins Takers, without showing any of those fishy attitudes, as we actually already know the intentions of our own main leader about my own power. Because if that happened, then Ellie would be the one who would later be blamed for snooping and stealing the man's secret documents.

In the time we have, which is probably still quite long, Ellie planned that we would find a way to expose Edward's evil intentions or at least knock him out of his position.

Of the several ways, why choose that one? Because based on Ellie's observations during her time in many Sins Taker bases around the world, we're not the only ones who don't like Edward's selfish nature... But rather all the elders who were transferred from their respective country's military also had their own selfish traits that allied with each other to usurp Edward's position.

All of these people are actually fighting in their respective selfishness and that is a big enough gap for us.

Especially with the result of that meeting that took place just a few days ago, Edward was badly beaten by everyone under him who wanted all the great carriers to work together on a much bigger task but with a much smaller risk of death… Indeed it might have been the impetus for Edward to do something about my power even faster in order to maintain his position, but…

We did have the elders as a side to stop at for a while if the day he found a way to kill me finally came… And if things turn out to be unexpected, Elis advises us to seek the whereabouts of the great carrier who rules reality. She said that that person definitely and will always be on our side.

“How do you actually manage to lessen this kind of pain, Niel? Just… What is this? It hurts too much...”

The girl in her nightgown which is covered by a black hoodie, that looks like it won't be able to protect you from even the slightest cold, is still sitting beside me while tightly embracing her own right hand.

“From the very beginning there was no way to reduce the pain. But just calm down... Maybe your’s will heal in two days.”

“Or are you just getting used to it?”

“Not at all.”

“But then how?”

“Do you mean this flat expression of mine? I'm just faking it… Well in that case, I've been used to it since I was just a child.”

Ellie finally stopped to ask a question.

“So when will the inauguration of this stupid team, as a result of that meeting that you described earlier begin? That great carrier's special team one?”

“I'm not too sure either... By the way, you haven't slept yet, have you? I'm taking you home to have some rest now.”

“I can’t sleep, young lady... This time my counter-curse was dozens of times larger than usual. That's why I've been chilling here and you came to steal my time.”

“So… You don't like me being here?”

Just a few minutes ago she was talking about such embarrassing things, now she has the nerve to tease me, huh?

“Okay, now you shut up and stay here for a while then. Stay with me until you're late for the morning ceremony.” I pulled her hand until she fell back, who had previously tried to get up.

She laughed as she leaned against the tree trunk behind the two of us…

~~~~~