he next few weeks are spent preparing for college. Despite the fact I never thought I'd say this, I'm excited at the prospect of leaving for the mainland. A part of why I'd been so terrified is because of all of the things I'll be leaving behind: my dad, the cafe, the memories of my mother, but now that the cafe is safe from Landon's leeching hands, and Dad seems busier than ever with his company, the only thing tethering me here is Jordan.

It's been almost three weeks since he boarded his plane, and while we've tried our best to keep in touch as much as possible, the last time I heard from him was almost two days ago, a message from him that had read: .

And then nothing.

I've convinced myself it doesn't mean anything, that he hasn't suddenly changed his mind, but the more days that pass, the more reality starts to dawn on me.

Maybe he's not coming back.

n Sunday morning, I have to say my goodbyes to Lina, which feels like the hardest part of all. She won't just be down the street anymore, she'll be off to New York, which might as well be a whole different world to someone who's never left the island. Still, despite the hollowness in my chest, my face lights up when she stops by before her flight to give me her Lina and Evvy care package.

Inside is a mismatch of face masks and movies and an assortment of snacks. "For our virtual movie marathons," she says as I sort through the box. "We're going to have one every Sunday without fail, or I'll get on a plane back here to hunt you down."

I laugh through the tears and pull her in closer, throwing my arms around her neck. It's times like these that make me realize just how hard it must have been before technology to let someone go.

"I love it," I say, breathing her in, because even though she plans to come back in the winter, I know from experience plans change. "I got you something, too." I reach into my pocket, pulling out a thin, gold necklace with a sun pendant in the center. I don't know much about what the weather is like in New York, but I'm hoping on the stormy days, she'll look down at this pendant and remember where she came from.

"It's beautiful," she says, tearing up, and we spend the next thirty minutes in a solid embrace, neither of us wanting to let go. "I'll message you right up until I get on the plane," she adds, "and then when I land. I'll message you so much that you're going to get sick of me, I promise."

I laugh and say, "I doubt it."

"And Jordan will be here soon, right?"

My heart squeezes the way it does whenever I think about him. The truth is, I'd expected Jordan to already be here by now, especially when I'm going off to college in a few days, but this past week he has been radio silent.

"Yeah," I say, but my voice shakes a little, "he'll be here soon."

A lump makes its way up my throat and settles there. I've been holding it together until now, convincing Lexi and Dad that I'm fine, that I've spoken to Jordan and he'll be here soon, but the truth is, I'm terrified. What if something has happened to him? What if he got to Chicago and my biggest fear came true, that he's realized I'm not worth the move? What if he found someone else?

And even if he does come back, time moves so fast that I'll already be a different girl from the one he fell in love with. While I've since come to accept that change is just a part of life, I wish time would stop until he comes back.

Eventually, when time runs out, I walk Lina over to her car, where her family is patiently waiting to take her to the airport. My footsteps feel heavy, my breathing labored like I'm about to have a heart attack, but even though my heart is shattering, it's the good kind of break – the kind that reminds you you're alive.

With one last goodbye, I watch the car get further away until it disappears completely. I stay like this long after it's gone, contemplating what to do next. I still have some packing leftover to finish, but I know that packing will remind me I'm leaving, and with no word from Jordan, that's the last thing I want to think about right now.

Instead, I grab my bike and cycle to the cafe, where Kali and a few others are working hard to finish off the cafe. It's amazing how much can be done when everyone works together, and what seemed like a hopeless cause after the hurricane hit is now on its way to being a bustling cafe.

I take a moment to stare up at it, marveling at how much has changed in such a short amount of time. The building is two stories and a pale ocean blue, with the once wilting frangipanis now blooming beneath the curved french windows. Everything about it is fresh, bright, like it is bursting with light after spending so long in the dark.

"There's still a lot of work to be done," Kali says, walking behind me. "The upstairs is nowhere near finished, so Jordan and his mom will need to stay with someone while we fix it up, but it's getting there."

"It's beautiful," I say, and I feel my eyes tearing up again. If my mother could see what the cafe looked like now, she'd be overcome with emotion. "My mom would have loved it."

"I know she would have," he says, resting a hand on my shoulder. "I want to show you something."

He leads me over to his truck, where a big white tarp covers something in the back. Like a magician about to show me a magic trip, he pulls it off, revealing the sleek wooden sign beneath it. Big Fish Cafe, it reads, and underneath, in an elegant scrawl is: In honor of our beloved Daisy.

My mother.

Now I'm really on the verge of crying, something I detest doing in front of other people, so I thank Kali and give him a hug before grabbing my bike and setting off again. I'd hoped the ride would give me time to clear my head, to stop worrying about Jordan and the uncertainty of the future, but if anything, my head feels more jumbled than ever.

If Jordan has changed his mind, why wouldn't he have messaged to tell me? Surely he's not the type who'd leave me hanging like this, which means the more likely scenario is that something bad has happened to keep him away, and that's what terrifies me the most.

Even though it hadn't been my intention, I end up at Mom's not-so-secret beach. It's quiet at this time, save for a lonely surfer in the ocean, sitting on his board while he stares out at the sunset. Usually, this place can ease my dread in seconds, as if my body is programmed to forget about my worries so long as I'm here, on this beach. But all I can do right now is think of Jordan and wonder what it is that's keeping him away.

I pull out my phone and try to call him again, but it's been going straight to voicemail, which only serves to remind me just how little I really know about him. I can't call his friends, his mom, anyone who would actually know where he is, because I have no way of getting in touch with them. My social media searches have all come up empty, which means all there's left for me to do is pray he comes and finds me.

And what if he doesn't?

After what feels like hours of listening to the waves crash, I make my way back home. The lights are all off, which is unusual in itself, and I throw down my bike before hurrying inside, certain that something is wrong.

For about half a second, there is nothing but darkness and silence. Then something stirs, and a chorus of 'surprise' rings out before the lights flicker on, revealing what I'm certain is most of the neighborhood.

Dad is at the forefront, along with Lexi and Kali, who all descend on me and engulf me into a lung-crushing hug.

"What's going on?" I manage to muffle.

"Your goodbye party," Lexi says as she grabs my hand. "Everyone's here."

I break into the biggest grin, searching the familiar faces of my friends and neighbors, who are all here to see me off. Despite the fact I've felt apprehensive to leave this place, knowing I have their support means more than anything.

"You guys," I say soppily, taking in the buffet. Dad's gone all out with his catering, and adorning the table is fresh lobster, cake, and an assortment of snacks that could feed a small army. "You didn't have to do this."

"We wanted to," Kali says, grinning. "You really think we'd let you go off to college without a proper send-off?"

"Well, I love it," I say, "thank you," and even though I know the answer, I can't help but ask, "Is Jordan here?" A silence passes, and the way their eyes soften is all the answer I need.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon," Kali says. "Moving halfway across the country takes a lot of preparation, you know?"

I nod, but it's not the time he's taking that worries me, it's the silence on his end. Still, when Lexi and Layla take my hand and lead me into the living room to dance, I find myself forgetting about the future, for once perfectly content with living in the moment.

❤️