Ben's POV:

When Rey had finally fallen asleep, I eventually convinced myself to leave Rey's side and set up things for the triplets. We weren't expecting triplets so I have Poe and Fin assist me in modifying what we have on hand. I found them in the waiting room asleep holding one another in each other's arms, I smiled at the scene. I nudged them awake, they both looked up at me with tired eyes as I told them everything that happened. "Alright guys the top priority is the cribs, let's see what we can find," I announced as we split up. After hours of looking we had no luck, I cave. Rey and I decided to not use any of the baby stuff from Naboo because it still holds too many painful and sad memories of the last child we lost. However we are out of options, I look around the room and I start to cry. I hear Poe and Finn run up behind me, one of them rests a hand on my shoulder and I lose it. I storm out of the room. I run into one of the random rooms nearby and start destroying all its contents, just like in the old days. Even though I was heartbroken, I was also pissed. I still blamed myself for the loss of our first child, I was angry that every time I looked at my three happy, healthy, living children the only thing I could think of was the one I lost. After destroying the room I feel a great amount of the sadness, anger and guilt wash away. I sit on the floor and meditate for a while. I found balance in the force and rest in it allowing it to wash over every me and feel peace within it. After some time I left the room and closed the door behind me. "Feeling any better?" Poe asks with a raised eyebrow. "Much. We can not mention to Rey I just threw one of my old Kylo Ren style tantrums. I don't want to worry her more than she already is." I feel guilty asking her friends to keep this from her, I just want to be the one to tell her I lost control and why. They nod their heads in agreement and understanding. "Come on, your students have a surprise for you in your room," Finn states as he nudges me with his elbow.