《Love And Sarcasm [Currently Editing]》23. | brotherly advice
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| ezra
『𝟰:𝟰𝟱𝗽𝗺』
•••
"
"Justin? Hey dude, what's up? You never call me."
"
"Oh yeah! It's fine bro, don't stress. Candace will talk to you about it tonight, I gave her your numbers that's okay right?"
"
"You seem down dude, what's up?"
"Who's that?"
"Audrey . . .Oh! Is it that girl you always talking to?"
"That's what got you down? Dude you could do better."
"I don't need to, she seems hideous and she's young. . .you said she's in high school right? Anyway get over it and have someone you know, like Candace, she's hot. This Audrey of yours could be some weird chick with braces and frizzy hair."
"I'm just stating the truth dude, you never know"
"Don't get your panties in a twist bro, I'm kidding."
"Bad joke with a hint of truth."
"Sorry bro, I'll back off."
"
"So are you ever going to tell me what's wrong."
"Come on, it's good for the soul."
"You're the pussy, are you ever going to talk?"
"Whatever you say bye br--"
"I'm waiting."
"And that's a bad thing because. . ."
"Sorry, sorry, carry on."
"And why would you say that to her?"
"But isn't she?"
"Then why the fuck would you call her a bitch just because she said that. I might not like the girl, but you said was pretty fucked up."
"Oh shit."
"Damn that was one horrible night, I get why you freaked out like that."
"Is that the only thing you said?"
"Damn. . .all because of Candace or more specifically that night."
"True story."
"What? I'm not going to lie and say you're perfect because you're not Justin."
"I'm always right, but you should call her back and apologize and then tell her everything about that night."
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"Fine, then leave your friendship messed up like you are."
"You don't, you just hope that she does understand."
"Call me Obi-Wan."
"---So are you going to do it?"
"I understand."
"I'm here for you. Anyway, you know you that you like that girl right? Like you're fucking whipped."
"Justin, your pants are on fire you liar, you fell in love with a girl over the phone, how disgustingly cliche, it's like something you'd find straight out of those stupid chick flicks my sister likes to watch. You dig that girl Justin."
"No you like her body, you fell for the girl you always talk to first thing in the morning when you wake up and late at night when you sleep."
"You told me dumbass, plus whenever I crash at your place I find you talking to her all the damn time."
"Whatever you say dude, you're still in denial"
"Seriously dude? Do you want me to be a love guru to you now?"
"Fine, let's start with names, what do you call her?"
"I mean nicknames you idiot."
"Two of them! And have you called anyone else you dated a nickname?"
"And what is that?"
"That's what you call all the chicks you flirt with and want to shag dude, I'm not stupid."
". . .We are not going there."
"I know you Justin, you just don't give random girls petnames. Do you call anybody else by panty?"
"There is your answer stupid! Its only that damn chick Audrey you call by sweetheart and petal. You like the girl. I'm getting tired of explaining it to you."
"Her personality says it straight through the phone."
"I watch catfish."
"Same thing."
"Blah. . .potato, potahto."
"Whatever, so you admit that you like her?"
"Ugh, what an ass. I can't believe I'm still on this phone call. Anyway how would you react if Audrey started talking to some other guy over the phone? Meeting the same way you guys did? And Audrey tells you that she met this 'incredible guy over the phone and now they are planning to meet?' What would your first thought be?"
Would you get jealous?"
"Did that answer your question?"
"Finally and you say that I'm the slow one!"
"Whipped."
"Whoa, calm down Justin, didn't you say her brother is in our college?"
"Oh so that's him? Anyway, I have some pretty good connections that could let you talk to him."
"Of course Justin! You're my brother from another mother."
"No problem, just because I'm helping you out doesn't mean I like Audrey."
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