《that's life » s. hyde》[38] pinciotti vs forman
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One evening, when the whole gang was sitting in the basement, Donna came in through the door, holding a box.
"Wow, Donna!" Jackie said. "You look great, what could it be?" She gasped. "Oh, I know: you lost eighty pounds of ugly fat! Hah! Burn, Eric, burn!"
Eric scowled. "Okay first of all, I weigh a hundred and thirty--forty--nine pounds."
"Yes. You look good too, Eric." Fez said reassuringly. "You lost your one true love, so... looking good."
Izzy giggled. "Yeah, took you long enough to shave and take a shower, you doof." Hyde, whose lap she was sitting on, chuckled and pulled her closer, kissing her neck lightly.
Donna rolled her eyes. "Look, Eric, I found these records of yours and I thought you might want them back."
"Ah..." Hyde said. "The unpleasant exchange of possessions after the horrific breakup. Awkward for them, entertaining for us."
Kelso gestured for Hyde to shut up. "Whoa, whoa, hold on. Don Kirshner's starting."
"Ooh, Paul McCartney and the Wings are on tonight!" Izzy said excitedly.
"Alright!" Donna said, climbing over the couch to sit next to Jackie. Eric, who was standing behind the couch, looked at the group confusedly.
"Okay, so... okay, we're all here now." He said quietly. "S- So, Donna, you're staying?"
Donna shrugged. "Okay."
"What I meant to say was... look, Donna, I don't think it's cool if you hang out here."
Donna looked up at Eric, her brow furrowed. "So what, you're kicking me out?" Eric didn't respond. She looked around at the others, who were watching them silently. "Wow. Okay, then. Bye."
She slowly got up and walked out of the basement, and Jackie turned to Eric. "Well! If you're kicking her out, then you're kicking me out."
Eric's eyes widened. "Oh no, Jackie no! Oh wait, I mean bye!"
Jackie went to the basement door then stopped, whipping her head back around to look back at the group. "Izzy!"
Izzy looked up from playing with Hyde's fingers. "Huh- yeah? What's up?"
"Come on!"
"What? But Paul..." She trailed off when she saw Jackie's glare. "Ugh, fine!" She kissed Hyde, which made Eric and Kelso make a face at Hyde, then she got up and followed Jackie out of the basement.
-
"It was just not fair!" Donna ranted to the girls, who were sitting on her couch. "He doesn't, like, get my friends cause he has some stupid, crappy basement!"
"Hey!" Izzy protested.
Jackie just slapped a hand over Izzy's mouth. "Right! You helped make that basement what it is today."
"Right? No one would even go over there before me."
Izzy pried Jackie's hand off her mouth. "Hey!"
"It smelled like feet." Donna continued. "I don't know what to do!"
"Donna, you have to fight back." Jackie said. "Okay? When a couple splits up, the woman deserves her fair share of the life she helped build."
"How much is that?"
"All of it! Donna, it's the law!"
Izzy sighed. "Normally, that would be such an offensive statement, Jackie, but... Donna, you're single. And you're pissed."
Donna nodded. "That makes sense."
"And it's partly my basement, too! He doesn't dictate who can and can't hang out there."
"Now you're making even more sense!"
-
The next day, everyone was filing out of Hyde's car when Donna came up to them from behind her hedges.
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"Psst! What're you guys doing today?"
"On our way down to the basement." Izzy said, messing with her camera. "I just got some really cool shots down at the park while these goons messed with the ducks."
Donna nodded. "Hm. Basement. Sounds fun. But you know what sounds like even more fun?"
"Ooh!" Kelso said, raising his hand. "Playing with a bunch of ducks?"
"No. We got cable TV at my house. Which, we all know, has potential for flashes of brief nudity. Nudity!" The gang all considered it, and the first to speak her mind was, of course, Jackie.
"Cable?! Oh, you are so gonna win this breakup!"
"Now wait just a minute." Fez said, holding up a hand to stop Jackie. "Eric is our friend and Izzy's brother. We cannot just abandon him for nude boobs."
Izzy nodded. "Good point, Fez." She turned to Donna. "This nudity you speak of, are we talking full-frontal?"
Hyde's eyes widened. "Izzy Bee?!"
"What? We were all thinking it."
Hyde chuckled. "True." He looked to Donna. "Well?"
The redhead shrugged. "Does it matter?"
Hyde grinned. "Nope."
"Let's go!" Izzy grabbed Hyde's wrist and led him over to Donna's.
-
"Look! There's a boob!" Kelso yelled, pointing at the screen. The group had all migrated to Donna's living room, and Kelso had gotten popsicles from the Formans' basement. Honestly, they had it made in there.
"There's two." Fez said in amazement. "Oh wait, four! It's the motherlode!"
They watched for a moment, before Hyde said, "Oh man! Guy butt! Look away, Izzy Bee." He covered Izzy's eyes with his hand, who just laughed and leaned into his side.
Kelso sighed. "I feel kinda bad."
"Oh, hon..." Jackie patted his arm lovingly. "It's just guy butt, it won't hurt you."
"No! About Eric. He was totally in the right to kick Donna out."
Jackie dropped her hand. "Oh, he was not right."
"I concur wholeheartedly." Izzy said. "He shouldn't have been such an ass about it."
"Agree with us." Jackie said to Kelso.
"I- No."
"Agree with us!"
"No! Donna broke his heart, so now she should have to pay."
Just then, Donna came in from the kitchen, holding out a bowl with a smug smile on her face. "Chex Mix, anyone?"
"Oh, thank you, Donna."
Jackie sighed. "Michael, we are so not talking."
"Jackie-"
"I said not talking!"
"Oh! There are all my friends." Everyone looked over to see Eric entering the room. "Hey Donna, I found these socks of yours so I figured I'd, y'know, run 'em right over." He handed Donna some balled-up socks, then jumped over the back of the couch, squishing everyone in an attempt to sit with them.
"Eric, you can't hang out here." Donna said, watching everyone try to shift awkwardly, but fail due to lack of space. "It's really uncomfortable, so..."
"Uncomfortable? Who's uncomfortable?" Slowly, everyone else on the couch raised their hands. "Oh, fine." Eric stood up and headed for the door, followed closely by Hyde.
"Look man, I'd go with you, but... it's cable." Eric quirked an eyebrow at his friend, who held his composure for a moment, then sighed. "Alright, Izzy won't let me leave."
"That's what I thought. It's whatever."
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"Want me to come by later and tell you about the boobs?"
"No!" Eric paused. "Yeah..."
-
"Oh no." Hyde said, spotting Eric outside the Pinciottis' window, talking to Bob. "Izzy Bee, come with me."
"What?! Steven, I'm comfy here."
"Trust me, just come with me into the kitchen before-"
"Hey there, hi there, ho there!"
"Oh, crap."
The next hour was spent listening to Bob's horrendous jokes, watching him attempt magic tricks, and hearing his rendition of "What's New, Pussycat?" for what felt like twenty-one times in a row.
They were all too nice to ask him to stop, though, so halfway through Bob pouring milk into a newspaper, Hyde just got up and went to take a nap at the bar. Donna was silently begging her father to stop embarrassing her, and Fez and Izzy were watching intently, amused an unnecessary amount.
-
"Welcome home, friends!" Eric said as the gang all returned to the basement in a lame attempt to avoid Bob's millionth time singing Tom Jones. "Who wants popsicles?" He handed them each one as they all sat down.
"I don't feel too good about this." Izzy mumbled.
"Oh. Here, you can have mine, I know you like grape better." Hyde said, trading out their popsicles.
"No, I mean about Donna."
Kelso scoffed. "What, would you rather be at her house, singing backup to Cha Cha D'Amore?"
"Oh, well, would you look who's here." Eric said, seeing Donna come in through the basement door.
"That was a dirty trick, Forman!"
"Well, I'd love to stay and talk about it, but we're on our way to the movies." Everyone excitedly rang in their agreement.
"Fine. Then I'm taking them bowling Saturday." They cheered again.
"Fine."
"Ooh, what a fun weekend!" Fez said, clapping his hands together.
"Hey, look." Hyde said. "You guys can't buy our loyalty with these little field trips." Izzy nodded in agreement. "You have to start buying us some stuff we can take home."
"Steven!" Izzy gasped, hitting his shoulder.
"Well, look." Jackie said, standing up. "I think it's stupid to have to go day by day. Why doesn't Donna just get us on the weekends?"
"Woah, woah!" Kelso stood up, going over to Eric and throwing an arm around him. "That's not fair, cause then Eric gets all the weekday headaches, and Donna gets all the fun time!"
Donna sighed. "Fine. Then we'll make a schedule. Eric?"
"Fine. Have a seat."
As they all set to work creating a schedule, Fez chimed in with a, "Make sure to schedule time with Bob, he takes me to Chuckle Town," and Izzy laughed in agreement.
-
"I'm just saying, Forman, you really didn't deliver on the afternoon like I was hopin." Hyde said, getting out of the Vista Cruiser later that afternoon.
"Dude, I took you everywhere. I bought everything, it was a great day."
"I dunno, man, I asked you for a six pack and you brought me out a tallboy."
"Steven, that's not very nice."
Hyde shrugged and wrapped an arm around Izzy's waist, kissing her on the top of her head. "I'm just sayin!"
"Fine, whatever." Eric said, turning to Donna, who had come to collect the group. "They're all yours."
"Twenty minutes late!"
"Sorry, we had to stop so Fez could pee."
Fez nodded quickly. "Yes, it was my fault. Please do not fight!"
Donna rolled her eyes. "Eric, listen. Travel time should come out of your time, not mine." She looked over at Fez, who was watching the two nervously. "What's on Fez's face?"
"Nothing, nothing!" Fez whined.
"Is that ice cream? Now he won't want dinner!"
"I'm sorry I had ice cream, Donna! Do not be mad!"
"Fez..." Donna sighed. "I'm mad at Eric, not you. This is not about you."
"Listen," Eric said. "I am not about to limit our good time to help with yours."
"Oh, why would you do anything to help me?!"
"You listen here, Missy, I-"
"Stop it, stop it!" Izzy yelled, effectively shutting the two up. "You guys are absolutely infuriating! We just want to spend time with our friends, and you've turned it into some stupid little turf war!"
Hyde shook his head slowly. "I hope you're happy. Now you've upset my girlfriend." He paused. "Heh. Girlfriend."
Kelso dragged Jackie out of the car and towards the group "Yeah, and your fighting is making me and Jackie fight. And that interferes with us doing it! And that ain't good!"
"So until you guys fix this, we're not hanging out with either one of you." Jackie said. "Let's go." She walked off, followed quickly by Kelso.
Fez turned to Izzy and Hyde. "Izzy, Hyde? I am sticky."
Hyde nodded. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
"And I am sleepy."
"I know." Izzy said. "You had a big day!"
-
The next weekend, Hyde sat on his bed, watching as Izzy sat on his dresser and sketched in her notebook. Her tongue was sticking out the side of her mouth as she focused on the paper, and Hyde watched with heart eyes as she continued.
"I'm glad Eric and Donna figured out their little divorce settlement." Izzy mumbled, not looking up.
"Hm? Oh. Yeah, me too." He paused, then got up and walked over to her. He leaned against the dresser, looking over her shoulder. "Whatcha drawing?"
She looked up at him, smiling. "You." She placed a hand on his jawline, kissing him softly. He smiled into the kiss, setting his hands on her waist as she dropped the sketchbook, placing her other hand on his cheek.
He pulled away as she laughed breathlessly. "You maybe wanna..." He glanced over to his bed, and watched as her cheeks turned red.
"Steven, I..." She pulled away slightly and let one of her hands drop. "I haven't..."
He nodded quickly. "O- Okay. Yeah, sure. Duh," he laughed awkwardly. "Sorry."
"I'd like to, um... wait a little bit, if that's okay with you."
"If that's okay? Izzy Bee, of course it's okay." Izzy let out a breath and nodded. "I don't want to... you know. If you're not... you know?"
She smiled and pressed her lips to his lightly. "Thank you."
She jumped off the dresser and went to sit on his bed, leaning her back against the wall. She patted the spot next to her, and he came and sat down. Taking his wrist in her hand, she moved his arm to settle across her shoulders as she leaned into him. She rested her head on his chest and took his other hand in hers, feeling as he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.
"I like this." She mumbled, closing her eyes.
"You gonna take a nap?" He asked, an amused smile on his face.
She nodded. "Mhm."
"Okay, Izzy Bee." He brushed some hair out of her face and kissed the top of her head. "Sweet dreams."
"I love you, Hyde."
He chuckled. "I love you too."
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