IU had returned to Bighit studios several times over the following weeks and as the date of the show drew near her heart kept filling with trepidation at each recording session.

The only blessing she had on her side was that Yoongi didn't return to any of their sessions after his rather cold reception of her weeks before.

However that didn't make it any easier to be around Jungkook during their sessions because he always appeared to be far more focused on the task of song arrangement. She couldn't fault him for that because she knew his work ethic reflected in the success of his solo songs.

All she wanted was a little attention.

She knew what she had to do, all he'd have to do is assign her what lines he thought would best suit her range and she would deliver.

That was how she had always worked, and she had years of experience under her belt to know about delivery, he didn't have to work so hard for the sake of their duet.

She knew it would be a success because it was Jungkook and IU, two well known idols with the vocals of songbirds.

To IU, it almost felt like he was indirectly ignoring her as she watched him chew on the end of the pen. He looked deep in thought before conversing and nodding to his fellow producer while scribbling onto the song sheet.

She was beginning to feel like a cheated lover because each recording session mimicked the one before; they'd turn up, greet each other and the staff before knuckling down for a good few hours of recording and if needed they re-recorded certain parts that may have needed a little tweaking.

It was at their last rehearsal that things between the two young idols became somewhat heated as IU's patience had begun to wear a little thin.

They rarely talked about anything other than their parts and she was beginning to lose faith that he was still interested in her.

Jungkook was never rude or demanding towards her, if anything he was nothing less than professional, but that was the problem.

She didn't want to be professional and friendly towards him, she'd already had days of that.

What she wanted was Jungkook the man. The virile young man who wasn't shy about kissing her, who probably wanted her as she wanted him.

Only, at every session she was met with Jungkook the kpop idol. The man who was working like a Trojan horse with the steadfast concentration of an army general that didn't appear to waiver from the task at hand.

She'd had enough, it was well past lunch and not only was her stomach beginning to protest, but her patience had been tested and was now hanging by a thin thread.

A very thin thread.

IU was pleased that she had the foresight to take the bear along with her that day. The pent up frustration she could feel simmering beneath her skin made her kick at the oversized bag under the table that she had thrown the bear into that morning.

She didn't want the offending item in her house any longer than was necessary. It filled her with so much jealousy just thinking about the way Jungkook had doted over it at the dance studio weeks before.

She knew there was an element of sentimental value attached with the bear.

It was going to be the perfect ice breaker per say because after days of near ignoring her, she knew this stuffed animal was going to give her a free pass to Jungkook talking to her again.

As much as she hated what the bear represented, she was going to get a reaction out of Jungkook whether he wanted to or not. With one last crush of her boots onto the hidden bear she took a deep breath.

"Jungkook-sshi can we take a small break? I'm afraid my stomach is starting to make funny noises.? She says politely in the most feminine tone she could muster.

Jungkook looked away from the song sheet and placed down his pen at her words. She could see his eyes change when he looked at her as he shifted into Jungkook, the attentive man.

Finally; she thought to herself.

"Oh yes, I'm really sorry."

"I sometimes lose track of time when I'm in here. I'm really sorry." he spits out in a flurry of scrambled words.

"No it's fine. Shall we have a break now then?" IU wanted to get him out of the studio and into a setting that offered a little more privacy than the building cafeteria.

The day of the performance for the show was only 2 days away and she had begun to show signs of impatience that she herself didn't realise she possessed.

The recording studio was beginning to feel like it was closing in on her.

People did and said silly things when they were cornered, and she didn't like feeling as though she was trapped.

"I think I might work on this arrangement one last time and then we will be all set for the show." he said a little too quietly for her liking.

Her patience had run out with his words. She had attended every session for weeks now without complaint and diligently done what was asked of her because she wanted to get it all over and done with.

Which meant more time for her and Jungkook to hang out, getting to know each other better and continue where they left off at their restaurant date when they kissed.

"Ok Jungkook to be honest we have been at it for weeks and we know what we have to do. I get that and I am certain you do too." she finished perhaps a little too heated, her foot crushing yet again the bear under the table.

Taking on a softer tone at his expression she continued.

"I understand people have a certain expectation of us, but we can't deliver anything, if I am wasting away due to starvation, right?" she finished with an impish cheeky grin.

"Please, let's get out of this tiny sardine can of a room and get some much needed fresh air and food, ok?"

At his nod she took her foot off the bear and bent down to pick up the bag, relieved that now they were going to spend some time away from the audience of people whose eyes she felt had watched her every move.

"Sure, I'm really sorry I didn't mean to get carried away. Sometimes I forget there are other people around me. Especially when I get ideas about songs." Jungkook apologises.

IU found his words endearing as they carried a sense of regret for having forgotten about her, but she could forgive him for the small indiscretion.

"It's fine. Shall we head outside? I noticed there was an eating area up on the rooftop that I came across it last week when I was wandering the building."

It was the perfect secluded spot to have a one on one with him, and she couldn't hide the smile that took over her face, her cheeks pink with a look of anticipation.

"Sure, I will need to grab something to eat before we head up though."

"No need, I saw it was going to be a lovely day so I packed a small lunch for us both. I hope you don't mind?"

If there was one thing she knew about Jungkook from the countless Youtube videos she had seen, it was his voracious appetite for hot dogs, pizza and chocolate milk.

It wasn't her thing at all, she rarely ate junk food and preferred the traditional Korean food, but for him she could put on a show no problem.

Scratching the back of his head looking a little lost he replied in a tone that she couldn't decide was either grateful or indifferent, "Oh wow, you didn't have to do that, but thank you IU-sshi."

As he nodded and replied IU was pleased that he agreed and followed her out into the stairwell that led to the rooftop. The honorifics did not go unnoticed by her but she shrugged it off for the time being.

The sun was out and she smiled happily as Jungkook sat opposite her on a vacant table. The rooftop was devoid of people as she set about laying out the food containers and the small chocolate milk concealed in a small cooler bag.

A honey brown furry ear was peaking out the top of the bag. Reaching down she pushed the bear further into the bag, now was not the time for unwanted company; inanimate or not.

_______________________________________

It had only been 10 minutes and Jungkook had spent more time thinking about what was written on the song sheet downstairs in the studio than the woman he had idolised for years sitting opposite him.

As the sessions drew out over the weeks, it had taken a toll on his thoughts and he'd lost sleep many nights thinking about Lisa.

He missed her terribly and his members knew it too.

It was written in the faint dark circles that he carried every day under his eyes, and it showed in the way he barely ate despite Jin making his favourite dishes. Jungkook seemed to have lost his appetite and that concerned his hyungs to no end.

He wanted to bury his face into the crook of her neck and revel in the warmth of her skin on his lips as he kissed his way around her neck to the back of her ears, where he knew she was most sensitive.

He wanted to feel her long fingers weaving hypnotising circles into his hair as his head rested on her lap as they watched movies in his room or hers at her dorm when they were alone.

He missed waking to the warmth of her breath brushing against his chest as she would somehow in the middle of the night place herself over him like a blanket, her weight featherlike, her body soft and pliant in his arms.

He longed for the way she would hold his face in her hands, running her plump lips across his face she would kiss him from one eye to the other then from cheek to cheek before lightly chewing his lower lip while moaning his name seductively into his mouth.

He loved the way she teased him without going overboard. He loved her innocence and respected her body, he was never in a rush to seal anything in the physical sense.

For him, having Lisa in his life was enough to overcome all that, but that was when he had her.

He kicked himself everyday that he didn't say no to her breaking up with him and it hurt like hell that he didn't know where she was or what she was doing.

Lisa had blocked him at every angle; email, texting on every social media, and he certainly wasn't brave enough to show up to her dorm and face the wrath of not one but three older eonnies, of which two he knew would without a doubt gladly rip off his balls and toss them into the Han River.

With those thoughts and Lisa in mind he looked at the woman before him.

IU was beautiful, that was not a lie.

The woman was devastatingly beautiful. From her milky white skin to her tiny button nose and red ruby lips. She was or rather is, the personification of the ideal Korean woman with China doll-like features.

She was charming, extremely intelligent and sang like a beautiful uncaged canary in the garden of Aphrodite.

However, it took the pain and loss of Lisa for him to realise that there was no other perfect woman for him than her. He wished he could take back every word he had uttered about his adoration for IU when he was with Lisa.

The weight of the knowledge of how badly she was hurting everytime he spoke of IU cut him to the core whenever he thought about it. The deep embedded loss of love sat still and heavy within his chest and there wasn't a day where he didn't feel that loss.

Everynight in his dreams he saw her.

Her prominent nose that he loved to grab with his fore and middle fingers pretending it had disappeared. Childish, but she loved it and he adored the way her laughter made his heart beat steadily.

He missed the way he would run his thumb along her lower lip while she slept curled into his arms. He would watch and marvel at how it's fullness would bounce around at his touch before kissing her sleeping lips, whispering a goodnight into her hair before gathering her closer to his chest.

He wanted it all back, and when he did, he knew Lisa had a fight on her hands if she thought she could ever break up with him again and he couldn't wait to tell her so.

But, before he did all that he had to do what he had been putting off for a long time now. There was no escape from hurt and heartache, he only wished that he hadn't taken things as far as he had because it would have saved so much heartache for everyone.

In order to win back the woman he truly loved, he had to hurt the woman sitting opposite him; a woman in which he had idolised for years since he was a teen.

Someone he had grown to admire as an artist and someone he respected. Someone he hoped would respect him back regardless of what he was about to do.

There was no ideal time to do it, he had to tear off the bandaid and let the ugly wound be exposed so the healing can begin.

Exhaling deeply, feeling so much regret for what he was about to do, he watched as IU's eyes cautiously stared at him.

"Jungkook-sshi, is everything ok? You haven't touched your food or the chocolate milk."

"Actually I wanted to talk to you, and apologise."

"Apologise? For what? I didn't mind preparing lunch, honestly don't worry about it." he could hear the slight fear edged into her voice.

"No. I mean I need to apologise IU-sshi for everything."

He could see the change in her eyes as she carefully placed down her food, her eyes moved to his and held his gaze as she carefully spoke.

"I'm sorry but I don't understand. You will have to elaborate a little more Jungkook-sshi if you want me to understand what you are trying to say." her words now laced with a little impatience that he hadn't noticed before.

"I want to apologise for everything I have done, and for what I am about to do to you." he started off quietly, a little hesitant to continue.

"You see, there is someone I have or had I should say in my life. But we broke up a couple of months ago now." he didn't want to hurt her but he was running out of time and they were two days away from performing in front of the whole nation.

"I didn't realise how much she meant to me until I no longer had her and everyday I wish I had treated her with the respect she deserved." he paused looking at his hands.

"The same respect you deserve too." he continued, looking up to hold her gaze.

"I shouldn't have spoken about you when I was with her..."

"Wait, what? Hold up what?" she cut in.

"...and I shouldn't have kissed you that time. I shouldn't have hurt her the way I did, like that way I am hurting you now." he finished hurriedly, not realising she had spoken.

"You spoke about me when you were with your girlfriend?" IU was surprised.

"Jungkook if I was already in your head when you had a girlfriend, don't you think that means something?" she threw back.

"I'm really sorry IU-sshi but I really do love her and I miss her so much."

"Everyday." Jungkook finished quietly, he couldn't go any further as he looked down lacing his fingers attempting to calm his nerves.

"Did you hear me?"

"Jungkook look at me." her tone laced with authority as he looked at her again.

"If I was already in your head when you had a girlfriend, that means something. I know it would to me." he could hear the steadfast impatience beginning to take a hold of her.

"I know it seemed that way at first, but I can't help the way I feel. You were my first crush. I admired you from the very first time I heard you sing to the very first time I saw you." a sad smile wedged itself onto the side of his mouth.

His fingers reached out to run absent patterns on the table as he continued.

"But I was a teenager back then, and over the years I kept those same feelings of a crush towards you. But that was it you see?" At this he raised his eyes to her, pleading for her to understand what he was about to say.

For the past few weeks he had so many instances of self reflection regarding his life and the choices thus far that had caused so much unwanted havoc, and he was eternally grateful for the six men he lived with who imparted so much love, care and advice since the breakup.

It was because of those moments that he now had the courage to tell IU how he truly felt about her. To be fair he was a coward and had tried to put off telling her, but he was at the point of having a breakdown if he didn't have Lisa back soon.

It was partially the reason why he chose the song they were to duet.

"It took a long time for me to realise that those feelings from my teenage years, that's all they were."

"A crush of a teenage boy, not..." he held his breath before continuing.

"...not of a man." he was certain he saw her heart break in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by a heated fire.

"I love Lisa and I want her back." he fired calmly but steadily.

"Lisa? From Blackpink?"

"That THAI girl?" she nearly screeched.

Jungkook did not like the way she purposely enunciated Lisas nationality, it felt wrong and he felt awful that there was a slight trace of racism or jealousy embedded in her words.

"You know she will never be accepted right? South Koreans will never accept a foreigner to be your girlfriend Jungkook you know that." he could hear the anger smouldering beneath her tone and it threw him off.

"What would your fans say huh? Your beloved Army would chew her up so bad there wouldn't be anything left but a shell of her former self Jungkook." IU was past caring what she sounded like.

He knew she was right but that didn't matter because even if one Army stood beside him and Lisa, it would be worth the risk.

"I can't help the way I feel IU-sshi and I can't help but feel very sorry for the way I have treated you."

"You know what? It's fine, but let's just see what happens when South Koreans turn on you and your beloved foreigner." she spat at him, completely taking him by surprise that she hadn't bothered to conceal her anger.

Her words were meant to sting and they did. It was at that moment that he looked at her with refreshed eyes as she sat coldly before him, her arms crossed at her chest and it struck him that he had never thought that she could act like a spoiled jealous lover.

That was fine with him because he had done his part and apologised for how he had treated her, and for kissing her.

Standing before her bowed at a 90 degree angle, before speaking in a clear concise tone, "Please forgive me."

He had never had to apologise to anyone this way before, it was a first for him and he hoped it would be the last. He didn't like confrontation, but when it came to Lisa, he was prepared to pull out all the ammunition necessary.

His apology was met with silence, however he opened them when he heard her slam down onto the table as it shook from her anger.

His eyes widened when he saw Lisa's Bear, the one he had misplaced in the dance studio, the very same day IU had visited Bighit. It was looking flat in several places but he chose to ignore what could have caused the stuffed animal to look dishevelled.

"What...."

"Why do you have this bear? I asked you but you said you didn't see anything when I left that day with Yoongi hyung..." he was floored that after so many weeks mourning the loss of the only link he had with Lisa, she, IU, she'd had it all this time.

"Yeah well sorry, I guess I forgot I had it." she remarked without looking at him, arms still crossed at her chest.

"I was going to give it back to you today anyway. It has been in my cupboard at home. I forgot about it until today." she didn't hide the sarcasm in her voice as she lied.