Short but emotional asf ;)

Xoxo

Adriana's POV:

"Noah. Did you also lie that night? when I told you how I feel about you, did you lie about the reason why you pushed me away or was it because you actually don't have the same feelings? Was it because Luca pressured you or because you don't.. you don't love me back? You didn't say anything about that night other than the fact that Luca was there and he made you push me away, but how? How did he convince you to do that? Why? Just TELL me. THAT NIGHT STILL HAUNTS ME, YOUR WORDS STILL HAUNT ME, for f*cking once be a damn man and tell me Noah Massarotti, tell me the truth. Why do you care so much about me?" I blurted and I didn't realise that actually got up from my seat and was so close to Noah now, standing right above him, looking him straight in the eye

If eyes could speak I would've gotten my answers already, because what his eyes were saying right now had me feeling so thrilled, so excited, ecstatic, nervous and relieved, but what made me fear was what was below his eyes, his mouth. The words that were about to leave his mouth were either going to destroy me all over again or stitch me the f*ck up to perfection

What he said next made my heart sink

"tú eres estúpido mi carina, it baffles me beyond limits how someone as smart as you haven't figured it out yet... haven't figured me out yet? You want to know something that everybody around you knows, you're oblivious to everything around you. And dios adriana you got me all fucked up, from the way you smirk that victorious one when you win an argument with me, from the way you fight like a tigressa, the way you handle all the shit that gets thrown at you, the way you laugh, but mostly the way you're so blinded and can't see what's in front of you, you can't see what's behind me, behind all my words, the truth. No Adriana I don't love you, I in fact am deeply in love with you, I've fallen so deeply and you've managed to leave a scar on my heart that whenever I thought about you my heart hurt, but what's worse is that you were always on my mind. You're toxic Adriana Lockwood, like a bad habit that brings me happiness, but love, Its not your fault, if there's someone dumber than you, it's me. For i thought that love makes you weak, that love is a weakness, and having feelings for someone only makes you less of a person. It doesn't, it only completes you. And fuck it, it took me long enough to find out, to figure my fucked up self out. And for god's sake Adriana if only how much you knew how many times i wanted to make you mine, gosh look at yourself. I can't help but think about you all the time, and I can't deny I want your body, but girl you drive me insane. Darling I want to see every inch of you. Always wanted. From the first moment my eyes laid on you"

"But Adriana I hate to say this, I can't give you what you need you deserve more than what I could give you, you deserve more, more than someone who only hurt you, and I swear to god I hate myself for this, I hate myself for everything I've done to you. And i hated myself the most when I knew I almost lost you forever for lying, for being a pussy AND lying about my feelings when you were so fucking vulnerable and poured your heart out for me. I hate seeing you cry Adriana and that damned night you ripped my soul apart, and I won't have it back no matter how much I try, how much we try"

"You have your answer, I am deeply in love with you. I am a liar. I hurt you. I don't deserve you. But I can't let you go, because I love you and even if you don't love me and won't ever forgive me but I won't stop trying. I love you more than words can fucking explain and I ain't a damn poet or fucking Romeo but all I can say is that I love you, te amo, j'taime. Im crazy for you you idiot"

And this was what he said. This was what all I needed to hear, but I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or no? I couldn't tell if this reality or just my stupid imagination, or maybe God doesn't want me to lose my mind so I'm hallucinating.

Do I believe this or do I not?

Noah fucking Massarotti has damn feelings for me?

Is this real life? But god if I'm dreaming I don't want to wake up, I want this dream to continue, to go on for years and never stop, I want this to last for eternity. But his words were too good to be real, too magical to be spoken, too sweet to be ever be allowed to be spoken

But I could tell that this was real life, from how I was able to taste my own tears, I could hear my own heartbeats, I could feel my heart ready to rip across my chest, and although my vision was blurry and tear stained but I could see his eyes, I could see that they were very real, I could feel his heart beating as fast as mine, and I could feel his breath fanning my face, I could feel his presence 1 inch away from me, and then he hugged me

And I knew it was damn real

I felt his touch

I heard his heart

I smelled his intoxicating cologne

I stained his thousands dollar designer blazer with my tears

And my heart was never happier. I wanted this moment to last forever, I wanted to live in his arms forever, I wanted them to be wrapped around me forever. I wanted to feel that I'm safe and secure, and I've never felt more secure than right now.

I love you Noah Massarotti

You're a drug and I'm addicted to being this high

And i know I might overdose

And Regardless of everything you put me through

I hate to admit it but I love you for being you, I love you for hurting me, I love you for making me who I am now

I love you more than I've ever loved anything in this life

And what scares me beyond reason is that I know it's wrong, it scares me that I love you more than anything else, and i won't ever love anyone or anything else this much

But I'm aware you might, you will.

I left those words unspoken though and just tried to enjoy this moment to the fullest because right now, I'm happiest I've ever been.

~~~~~

"Noah" I turned around in the bed to face him, as his embrace still caged me, "hmm my love?" he said, with his eyes still shut, I started to slowly run my fingers down his bare chiseled chest "what do you think will happen next?" I asked the question that has been going through my mid the entire night, well not the entire night if out cross out our two hours hot cardio in bed session. "most importantly why aren't you asleep yet, I am sure I have exhausted you" he smirked then opened his eyes to tease me, "hey! I'm being serious, call it midnight thoughts or whatever Noah but I am deeply scared, I'm tired as well, I feel so weak and dependent, like what if I lose you all over again? What if I don't know you stopped loving me and decided you don't want me around you anymore, I'd end up homeless Noah, I have got nothing, no money, no family, nothing, You saw what happened to me last time...what if Luca manages to I don't know get back at you somehow, I'm so worried about his next move." I sighed, Noah just groaned then sat up and pushed me closer to him, i rested my head on his chest so he started playing with my hair, "As long as you are with me Lockwood you have nothing to worry about, I got you, I am never letting you go again, I won't put you in a situation of being helpless or needing someone to survive, and more importantly I will never stop loving you, or stop wanting you around me, you're my fucking drug, and IF I'm no longer around you or with you that means I'm dead, and I already bought you a house and a car, they're in your name, so don't worry. now get some sleep, you need it" he said, then i felt his warm lips press on my forehead and he slid back under the covers, it only took him a few minutes until he drifted to dreamland, I didn't even get the chance to say anything back, God damn I love this human so much.

I kept rolling in bed for what seemed like hours, I could not sleep, my anxiety got the best of me, I rolled over to grab my phone to check the time, it read 4:04AM . ugh, I groaned then decided to get up, I need some fresh air, it will definitely help. I got up, and put on a robe over my nude body, and headed to the balcony. I opened the glass door and stepped outside, the cool air instantly hit my skin and goosebumps rose, I rested my hands on the cold metal bars then closed my eyes shut and inhaled deeply, then exhaled, I kept repeating this action until I felt it working, and when I opened my eyes again a bright light in the sky grabbed my attention, joy and exuberance filled me when I realized it's a shooting star! omg omg, quick Adriana wish! i closed my eyes, "I WISH I WAS NEVER FORCED TO BE DEPENDENT ON ANYONE, I WANT TO LIVE A HAPPY NORMAL LIFE AWAY FROM ALL OF THESE PROBLEMS, I WISH I HAD NEVER MET LUCA, I WANT HIM AWAY FROM ME AND NOAH!" I screamed into the vacant sky, and when I opened my eyes again, the shooting star was gone, but so was the weight burdening my shoulders, although my wish have not been fulfilled but I guess screaming out what was troubling me and what I really desired helped me.

I decided to get back inside for it was getting too chilly, I closed the door back behind me and ran back to Noah's side for some warmth, he was still sleeping there, he looks so peaceful, I wish it could be like this for him while he is awake, peace, for both of us actually, the only serenity and true happiness him and I could really get at this point is in our sleep, for our life is so messed up now, we deserve some clarity and peace of mind. I took one last look at his beautiful face in his peaceful state, kissed his cheek then I snuggled closer to him, rested my head on his bicep and drifted into a deep deep sleep.