𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺.

♥️

PART II

♥️

The numbness in my body was still here, I still felt extremely exhausted.

But this feeling of numbness, it wasn't new. It was one of the only things that seemed familiar to me.

Alone in pain and numb.

With time I eventually got used to sleeping in pain whether the pain was mental or physical meant very less to me.

It all felt the same.

Waking up with bruised ribs or waking up to an anxiety attack both are equally painful but with time I've understood that my life meant very little to others.

There were only a handful of people I know who'd feel something if I were to go away, I can almost imagine Mary freaking out and Alex getting extremely annoyed-

WAIT

I tried to open my eyes but the blinding brightness in the room made me want to go back to sleep again.

I struggled and eventually, my eyes adjusted to the brightness and I finally looked around.

I felt a stinging sensation run through my eye and realized why it was.

In the struggle to show Alex my real eye I took the contact lens off its place but not out of my eyes I displaced it and then I slept with it so it got back to place but left the puffiness behind.

Breaking out my thoughts, I looked around the room and my eyes instant zoomed in on Alex who was sleeping on the couch next to the bed in an extremely uncomfortable position but he did seem to be in a deep sleep.

Looking at him carefully I wondered which stage of sleep was he in, was he in the first stage, the second stage, the third stage, or the REM stage?

All of a sudden Alex thrashed around in his sleep and started taking extremely deep ragged breaths.

What was happening to him?

I went towards him and called out "A-Alex?"

Alex continued thrashing around so I tried to shake him awake from his sleep but the moment my hand went on his shoulder, Alex violently thrashed around and pushed me down onto the couch with my hand behind my back in a painful position.

I looked up Alex now feeling scared but then Alex broke out of his sleep and looked down at me with his stance still pinning me down.

I bit my lips to stop my screech from pain and kept quiet.

Alex took a moment to understand what was happening and suddenly pushed himself out of the couch and looked at me with sheer terror on his face.

"What happened right now?"

Should I tell him or should I not?

I looked around the room contemplating my choice.

"SARA. WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED?" Alex gritted his teeth and immediately my mind flicked back to the beating that anger can lead you to.

"I- You was thrashing in your sleep and th-then you seemed to be a little violent so I tried to w-wake you up but then you pinned me down and then w-woke u-up," I explained.

Alex closed his eyes while his face countered his anger.

It seemed as though he was going through an internal war.

This is my cue.

I should walk away before things get out of hand.

I turned around quietly to walk away just then hands wrapped around my wrist and Alex pulled me into his chest, I stole a quick look at his angry face and continued to keep my gaze down.

"This is the last time we are talking about this, but never and I mean NEVER come near me when I'm thrashing in my sleep however bad it is, leaves me. This time I pinned you down maybe next time I'll end up hurting you "

Never stare into the eyes of someone angry.

That's what living with sir taught me.

A moment passed away and finally, Alex spoke "lookup Sara"

I winced at the name, did he not remember anything?

I looked up at Alex and a storm was brewing within this beautiful brown eyes turning darker by the second, he seemed to be holding anger within him along with sadness

The moment emotions showed on his eye they disappeared too making me believe that maybe I just imagined it and a tremor went down my body which wasn't unnoticed.

"what's wrong with your eyes?" Alex fired another question I looked at him with curiosity.

why was he not talking about yesterday?

"Ah, my Len-" Alex stopped me the midway and what he said next spun my mind.

"I'm sorry about today morning, I think it's because I drank a little too much yesterday and came back home. I don't always get nightmares. How are you feeling now? I don't remember much of yesterday except that you fell ill, I think? and I was left a little stunned after you fainted but I eventually got you to bed and got wasted myself on the couch."

"Y-You we-were dr-drunk?" I asked and tried to comprehend what he meant exactly did he not remember at all?

I probably did not understand that he was drunk either because I was busy trying to get a hang on to myself and my panic attack.

Ahhh

"I don't drink most of the time but yesterday I, I mean I hardly ever get drunk and yesterday will not repeat itself. I don't remember much of yesterday other than turning a little off emotionally myself and I apologize for that. It was not my favorite time of the year and things just got out of hand." Alex explained but I felt completely numb.

He remembered nothing.

Nothing.

Was I relieved or frustrated?

I did revile everything to him but he remembers nothing and that's a good thing right?

I mean what if he told Sir that he knows everything or what if he too believed I'm a murderer?

I had a rush of emotions yesterday and spilled everything out but Alex does not remember much so it is like a second chance right?

In my mind, I know that if I try I can make him happy as Sara as well, sure he hates her but does it matter who helps him?

"I also apologize for screaming at you like that and walking out on you, I know that no excuse is good enough but It's just not my best time of the year." Alex continued to explain and I frowned.

Why does he keep saying its not as good time again and again?

Was yesterday an important day or was yesterday a festive day? I ran through my mental calendar but came across nothing.

"what w-was yesterday?" I looked up at Alex and he looked down at me for a few seconds too long before closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.

"It was my dad's death anniversary."

I took in a sharp breath and a stinging sensation hit my chest.

Alex looked so broken at that minute, just like yesterday.

For a moment I tried imagining my life without Mary and I felt my heart shatter is that nearly how bad Alex feels when he thinks about his dad?

It's probably a way stronger bond, it was after all his dad.

Dad

The word itself felt unfamiliar to me, it seemed foreign. I've never had someone whom I can call dad throughout my life.

The bond itself was foreign.

It is something I've always wanted, something I've always craved but at the same time its something I'll never have and something I won't ever experience.

In this very moment for a moment, I felt jealous of Alex, jealous of everyone who shares a bond as special as that of Alex and his dad.

But to lose someone so close to you? that must hurt just as bad, shouldn't it?

I never got to spend time with my mom but I think if I did id probably feel more broken at the loss pf her than without knowing her.

"I-I'm sorry"

Alex bends down a little and breathed into my hair making a weird sensation hit my family, I did not want it to end but slowly Alex pulled away and walked out of the room saying the next three words loud enough to leave me confused.

"You should be"

♥️

𝓥𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓐𝓷𝓭𝓕𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮- 𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪.𝘩𝘢𝘩𝘢

Take me back, please?

IOS OR ANDROID?