Felix and I reached the boat by the shore – it was our ride to the Enchanted Forest, or whatever it was called. Sitting inside of the boat, Felix rowed back while I held my hands in my lap, staring out at the ocean of Neverland. The freshly risen sun sparkled across the water, the saltiness of the air refreshing my lungs and, for once, allowing me to breath without tension. I smiled softly, thinking how such a nightmare of an island could be so beautiful. It was a hidden metaphor for Peter Pan himself.

Thinking about him brought a pang to my chest and I lowered my smile, my eyes locked on the rippling tide.

"Why is he so cruel?" I said softly, momentarily forgetting about Felix's existence. Rowing silently, I looked up to see his confused eyes. But then he dropped his gaze, just like I had done so in the past.

"He does what needs to be done to survive, it's as simple as that."

"But Felix –" I started, cutting myself off. I swallowed and looked back out at the horizon, the boat slowly swinging back and forth as it moved towards the rising sun. "There's a difference between surviving and living, don't you think?"

When he didn't reply for a while, I turned my gaze back to see Felix chuckle and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah," was all Felix managed but it was enough to start a friendship.

I didn't know how we did it but when I looked back out at the ocean, it was a different ocean – an ocean in the Enchanted Forest.

We had reached our destination in the blink of an eye, unnoticed and subtly. Felix rowed to the side of the river and I could briefly hear bagpipes and children playing, giving off a village feel. I hopped out of the boat upon breaching the land, fixing up my outfit and turning to watch Felix secure our little, wooden thing that surprisingly teleported us.

"So...we just stroll into town and wait for my 'super sensing powers' to kick in?" I mocked, giggling as I placed my hands on my hips; Felix rolled his eyes, finishing the knot that connected the boat to the land.

"I don't know what Pan expects from this trip but we might as well make it worthwhile."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"We have some fun."

But it wasn't Felix who said that.

I turned around and saw Pan, standing like the cocky twat that he was.

Completely baffled, I said, "what the hell are you doing here?" He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he took a step forward: he was wearing ruffled, brown pants, a navy-blue blouse that was tucked in, and small, black boots. He suddenly threw me a hand-held sack and I felt coins jingle from within. But he didn't end up replying. Instead, he turned on his heels and Felix and I followed in silence, heading towards the village.

+++

The three of us walked through the crowded streets of a small town: children ran past and played, young wives picked out fancy scarves and other pieces of clothing, husbands and boys played poker and other games at stalls. I walked between the two boys, twisting my lips. It felt so awkward – why the hell had Pan decided to come on this trip he sent us on? It didn't make any sense but I didn't question further – I'd only get sassed back.

My feet paused upon seeing a flower stand and my eyes locked on a white rose. For some reason, I knew red roses were original and blue, somewhat common...but a white rose? My bottom lip dropped and I walked towards it, weaving myself through the running children and common folk, reaching the front of the stand.

"Hello, my child," said an older lady, smiling with gummy teeth at me. I smiled back, saying, "you have such beautiful flowers."

"None as beautiful as you," she said, smiling ever-so sweetly. I just grinned more, feeling my cheeks become as rosy as the flowers before me.

My fingers traced the white rose and I wondered how much coin would allow me to purchase such a stunning piece of nature.

"How much?" I asked, feeling a figure brush up beside me; I ignored them, too intrigued in my small piece of shopping, of feeling human for once.

"Two silver pennies," she said and just as I was about to reach for the coin sack, I felt a hand place against my own.

"Here you go." It was Pan, placing the amount into the old lady's hand. I paused, looking up at the boy...who was buying me a white rose. My bottom lip was slightly detached from the top, staring in owe and most of all, perplexity.

Gently smirking, Pan held the flower in his long and slender hand, waiting for me to take it. I licked my dry lips before biting on my lower lip in uncertainty.

But then I took it cautiously, smiling up into his green eyes.

"Thank you," and he just nodded once, the smirk falling as he turned on his heels and we weaved ourselves back out onto the main street. I felt this happiness in my stomach, this feeling that seemed to make me forget about what happened the other day – maybe not...forget but to understand, and that was better than grieving and moping about it.

It was such a simple gesture that touched my heart, whether I liked it or not.

The day had gone by fairly quickly: we had lunch by a tavern in awkward silence, went to the library (in which I happened to find a fable of him and resulted in Felix explaining the situation for about half an hour), saw a couple of plays, and so on.

I really felt human, despite the flaws.

We were now sitting on logs before a campfire, with children skipping and dancing about while others played instruments. The location was near the town and it was something most children would do on a night if it wasn't raining. I was twirling my white rose in my hand, smiling as I watched how happy and free the children were, as I was.

Pan was seated across the fire and every now and then, I would meet his gaze through the flames.

"Do you know what a white rose symbolizes?" Felix said, my eyes staring at Pan's.

"No," I simply said, the clogs in my head pausing as I focused on the rose and his eyes.

"Purity and innocence."

Baffled, I pulled my gaze from Pan's and met Felix's.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a tad too harshly than I expected. Felix just chuckled, tapping my chest.

"He sees you as the light in his world of darkness."

"You're very wise, Mister Felix, but I'm sure it's only because I liked the flower and –"

"Everything Pan does has a purpose," he said, shrugging. "Your heart was vibrant, glowing red, full of purity. If you saw his, it would be pitch black and barely beating."

I clenched my jaw, taking a deep breath as I took this seriously. Could Felix be right? Could the gesture of purchasing me a white rose hold so much value? I didn't know what to think...and so I said my thoughts aloud.

"I don't know, Felix. You can never tell what Pan's up to."

"I've been a close friend of his for years, and so has James. Trust us," he said and winked; all I did was chuckle, looking at the white rose's petals.

Purity and innocence...

Innocent not because I hadn't committed a crime but...I lacked corruption in my heart, unlike him, and purity...free from immorality, unlike him.

I was so lost, so confused and unable to comprehend anything. And then I looked up, expecting his gaze to soften my emotions.

But it was the complete opposite. I locked eyes with a dancing boy of about 12 years.

Him.