Being back home was a challenge... I would write my articles and think about Bryshere.. Shower and see his smile.. We barley got to talk or text.. he was so busy on set and interviewing..

He left LA and went from Chicago to Atlanta back to LA..

Our text went from every other day to nothing at all..

It went from me looking through our thread to realizing how hard it would be for our life's to actually collide.. And though I understand his career I also know it is Damn near impossible at this point in both of our careers to be with each other it seems.. But that won't stop the way I feel..

But forget all of that the 15th Of December was rolling around REAL QUICK! It was time to put on my game face.. I have an award ceremony to go to where I'm being honored.. more importantly the new year is right around the corner.. So whether my mom or my girls show up I can't stop succeeding in life.. I gotta keep it pushing and be strong..

Today I went to go do some yoga to get my mind off of everything and everyone..

I needed to center myself...

And since the ceremony was here in Austin I didn't have to travel so Sherry was coming to stay here for the week and help me pick out the perfect dress...

I offered for her to stay with me but she wouldn't expect it..

I went and picked her up at the hotel and we headed to this boutique in midtown Austin..

I gave her a big ass hug when she got in..

"What the fuck is UP SHER!!"

I said excited to see her..

"Shit, just here with my girl Reign.. These thickest, baddest, craziest bitches out here!!! What's good BIIAATCH!!"

I laughed..

"Nothing much baby you ready to go shopping?"

"Yes girl you see my hat and shades! Let's go to work and shut shit down girl!!"

"Yes I see that big ass Mary J. Blige hat.. And them spy on my man cause I'm a deranged, psychopath creep tryna be inconspicuous starter pack sunglasses..."

She stuck out her tongue laughing

"Yes bitch how'd you know these were my psychopathic glasses GIRL!? I use these when I gotta turn up on Herbs ass.."

"You is wild girl.. thank you for coming Sher.."

"You know I always got you.. Plus I figured you needed me to be your pretend audience to practice your speech on..."

"Girl you know me so well.. So have you spoke to Hunter?"

"Yes and she's coming for sure.. Have you spoke to Candice?"

She asked taking a sip of her Starbucks coffee

"Girl boom.. I really don't have her to do.. She wanna be wrapped up in August go head.. I don't have time for that.. I'ma let her do her.. I been there for her non stop going hard since the 2nd grade when I beat.."

"Yeah Yeah Yeah... me and Hunter know the story.. You beat up those boys for picking on her and gave her your lunch cause she never ate and always watched y'all eat.."

"Yes I know it's a cliché but it's true.. And I love her to death I won't stop.. But she gone have to do her part.. I'm tired of chasing her ass shit!"

"You damn skippy.. She'll be just fine.. But fuck all that.. We bout to turn up, Herb gave me the black card for me and you to turn up... and I got some WEED!"

"Sherry you know I quit smoking.."

"Bitch when this morning? Girl PLEASE, we mobbing.. Ima light it and we bout to get LIT!"

I laughed shaking my head..

"Fuck it! Spark that SHITTTT!!"

We got so high of course I convinced her to freestyle with me since it was an 30 minute drive from her hotel to get to Midtown..

"Damn can I at least get some instrumentals?"

Sherry said smiling with her high ass..

"Hell naw! You gotta go A cappella in this thang.. You ready?"

She nodded..

That's when her phone started ringing..

She picked it up and looked at it rolling her eyes..

"It's Herb girl hold on.."

She put it on speaker..

"What!!"

"Don't answer the phone like that when I call you girl..

I was just making sho' you touched down safely.."

"Yeah I'm in the car with Reign now we going shopping, you on speaker too so SPEAK.."

"Oh yeah.. Waddup Rei.. I gave Sherry that black thang so y'all can enjoy y'all selfs.. I won't be able to make it to your ceremony cause I got three shows that day but you can at least get you some fly shit.."

"Yeah she showed me..

Thanks Herb.."

I said looking back switching lanes to get on the freeway..

"It's all love babygirl.. What you doing big headed ass little girl?"

He asked Sherry..

"Shit.. just got done smoking about to freestyle before you called interrupting my flow.."

He laughed..

"You ain't got no flow babe.. Stop tryna spit that trash.."

"WHAT! Fuck you, I bet you don't say that to your groupies.."

"Ahhh here you go with that shit.. Bye girl I'll holler at you later.."

"No you won't after I max out this card it's over between me and you nigga!"

He sighed and laughed..

"You can't max out a black card girl shut yo ass up.. I'll talk to y'all"

"It's about to be the blue card cause ima give yo ass the blues when I hit these stores.."

"What, was that supposed to be apart of your little freestyle?"

He laughed..

I snatched the phone with her..

"You know she special.. Bye Herb get back to the studio.."

"Ight than man.. you see how she do me Reign? I give that girl everything and all she wanna do is stress a nigga out.."

"You stress me out every time I see your bum ass face.."

Sherry said pointing her middle finger towards the phone..

"There you go.. Why you always gotta talk out the side of yo neck that's why we stay going at it.."

"Fuck YOU!"

I sighed..

"Bye Herb I'm hanging up now.."

I hung up..

They can't EVER have a normal day..

"Why you hang up I was about to curse his ass out.."

I shook my head..

"You always about to just curse him out leave that boy alone.."

"Well can I at least have my phone back?"

"Nope!"

She sat back crossing her arms..

"So what's up with you and Yazz? You never told me if you went to that dinner party.."

"Oh yeah I ended up going.."

I said trying to get my mind off of him but yet again reminded of him..

"WHAAT! Bitch I know you didn't drive did you?"

"Nah I went ahead and payed for my own flight out.."

"Damn you really like his ass.. you don't hardly fly for nobody.. So how was it?"

I sighed thinking about everything..

"It was beautiful.. we didn't even make it through the whole dinner.. we ended up going back to his hotel and.."

"AND HAVING NASTY SEX! He beat it up huh?"

"Sherry! Please relax.."

"Bitch you RELAX.. he look like he got some good dick, so I know it was a good night.."

I stayed silent..

"What's wrong did he do something to you?"

"No.. it's just, I don't know when we were together it's perfect.. But suddenly it's like we went from talking and texting to barely texting and not communicating at all.. I know he gets busy always.. I mean he works non stop.. but I find myself missing him and it's like I can't even miss him like I am because he's not my man.."

"Don't feel that way.. I could tell he is really into you.. and you know I call bullshit from a mile away so I could just tell.. The life he lives you know what it comes with.. But if he feels the way I know he feels about you than it will all work out.. Trust me, I know I always talk crazy to Herb but he's my everything.. And sometimes he's gone months at a time.. But he and I know nothing can compare to me and him being alone.. No matter what something magical happens every time.. and I see that between you and him.. Those same sparks I had before Herb asked me to be his girl.. here we are two years later.."

"You're right.. I guess I just be missing him.."

I smiled

"But at least I'll see him at my ceremony.."

"Awe Shit! He's coming?"

"Yeah.. I can't wait to see him after my speech.."

"I can't wait for you to see him too girl.."

We finished the day and went shopping both finding the perfect dresses to wear..

After that we both went back to my place to eat..

Once I cooked for her I convinced her to stay the night with me.. and we stayed up having wine as I practiced my speech with her..

I haven't talked to Reign in almost two weeks..

But it wasn't on purpose I just have so much going on.. I was just making sure I had everything together so that I wouldn't have to worry about anything when I went on vacation with her..

Something's got in the way of me calling her and texting her..

But that's what this life is sometimes.. but I promised it would be all about her next month when we leave together..

It was the night of the ceremony..

I checked my outfit and hair seven times before I actually left..

I went to go head out so I could get Sherry.. I didn't want to be late..

When I walked out front there was a limo..

"Get in before you be late for your big day!!"

Sherry screamed out the window..

I smiled as the driver opened the door for me..

"What the hell Sherry?"

"Girl I couldn't let you drive on your big day.."

I shook my head looking at her..

She looked so beautiful

"You look AMAZING Sher! It's perfect for my speech and me telling women to be comfortable in your own skin.."

"Oh SHIT! You want me to be your model..?"

"Yes I've put together a little clip with You, Hunter and Candice to show the diversity in women.."

"Damn I can't wait.. Well I got you something but I want to give it to you now because it will match your dress..

Close your eyes.."

I closed my eyes all jumping in excitement..

She wrapped something around my neck and wrist..

"Open!"

I looked down at a necklace and bracelet...

"Wow Sherry! This is too much.."

I said almost in tears..

It was the most beautiful tennis bracelet and diamond pearl white gold necklace I've ever seen..

"I can't expect this.."

"Yes you can.. You deserve every diamond on your neck and wrist girlfriend.. You give so many women hope and that's worth more than any piece of jewelry I can buy you.. I wish more women could see things the way you did.."

I hugged her tight and kissed her cheeks..

"I love you Sher.."

"I know.. don't forget to let me write you off on my taxes next year.."

I laughed..

"You are so STUPID.."

We finally got there...

The driver pulled up front..

"You're not nervous are you?"

Sherry asked helping fix my makeup making sure everything looked nice..

"I thought I would be but I'm not.. I'm ready..."

She smiled..

"My girl!"

The driver opened the door for us..

We walked up to the front where their was a man guarding the doors..

"Name please?"

"Reign Amelia Givens."

He looked through the papers..

"Ahh Yes Ms. Givens our guest Honoree of the night I'm sorry.."

"That's Okay. This is my best friend Sherry.."

I said grabbing her hand

"Ah Yes no worries we have a special 5 star table for all your guest.. it sits at least 12.. Your party will be most comfortable all they have to do is mention they are here for you and everything will be taken care of.. will you be requiring more space than that Ms. Givens?"

"No that's more than enough.. Is anybody here yet?"

"Just a young lady named Hunter for now.."

I smiled..

"Okay well I'm gonna go get seated I'll see you later go kill it.."

Sherry said kissing me walking away..

That's when I seen Shannon Bagsby, the head of the Women's empowerment Journalism committee coming towards me...

"It's so great to finally meet you Ms. Givens.. I've heard so many great things and have read every single one of your articles.."

My stomach sunk low trying not to freeze up..

"Thank you so much for having me Ms. Bagsby I can't believe you even know my work.."

"What! Are you kidding me we love you here.. I couldn't wait to see you face to face to shake your hand and tell you how amazing you are and there are some opportunities I want to discuss with you later on.. But tonight is about you.. so you can go to the back and kick it while we introduce you to the crowd.. even though I'm sure everyone had heard of you.. and you can come out after I introduce you.."

"Great.. I also brought this slide show for my speech.."

I said handing it to her..

"Perfect! They will love this at corporate.. I'll give this to Jimmy and you just give him the signal when you're ready for him to role it on a big screen.."

I was escorted to the back..

there was a beautiful dressing room with my name on it..

I walked inside and there was everything from chocolate covered fruit to champagne on down..

The were also other amazing writer's receiving awards tonight for different things so I was back there for about an hour..

I said a prayer and sipped a little champagne before they came to they back to get me..

I stud to the side of the stage waiting to be introduced..

"Thank you all for being here and hearing the stories of all our wonderful staff who make women hood a little easier.. Congratulations to all my writers that were awarded tonight, you all are amazing...

Now let's get to the real reason why we're all here tonight..

I've had the pleasure of meeting her for the first time, not to long ago tonight and she is as beautiful and graceful as imagined..

We are honored here at Texas Women Empowerment Articles to award the courageous women of the year Award to Misses Reign A. Givens.. Ms. Givens could you please come out.."

One of the producers guided me on stage and I stood beside her as she held my hand with her right and the trophy in her other hand..

I looked in the center and seen Hunter, Sherry and Herb.. I didn't expect him cause he had shows to do... There was also Ms. Mary and my publicist..

I looked to my left and seen my mom and almost had a heart attack.. I looked to my right and seen Julius.. What the hell he was doing here was beyond me.. but he made sure he sat far away from Sherry and Herb..

I didn't see Candice and to be honest I wasn't surprised..

"I want you guys to know how gifted she is with words and action.. She also goes around talking to young women all over not just here in Austin.. and she started a Charity for all girls and women of all ages to get clothes and food free of charge and help single mothers with rent.. Taking time to go out to these school from kindergarten to college and let all these young ladies all over know that they are queens..

She's fearless and brave and we here admire you.. She didn't know we had been watching her for a while now.. But she is a prime example of when you move in excitement with a big heart.. God moves in command with abundant love.. So if everyone in the audience will please do me the honor of putting your hands together for Ms. Givens.."

The whole room was clapping and cheering..

She handed me the trophy and moved to the side of the podium..

She whispered congratulations in my ear and went to go sit in the board members chairs off to the side..

I smiled placing my trophy down and taking a bow..

I adjusted the mic...

"Wow thank you so much, you all are amazing! Please, please have a seat.."

I smiled as the roars from the crowd simmered down..

"WOOAH! Go head baby, ya so beautiful, meh proud ya girl! I love ya now"

My mom said standing screaming at me one more time..

I laughed..

"That's my beautiful mom everyone.. That's the island coming out in her.. I love you too Mommy! Now sit down please.."

I said laughing as everyone else laughed..

"If you don't mind can I have a cordless mic.."

I called to the producer on the side as he handed me one and I thanked him...

"That's better I'm not the type to stay still at a podium I gotta move around and see each and every one of your beautiful faces WOW... look at y'all get one more round for being such an effortless crowd.."

They all cheered..

"Okay well I will try not to make this long but there is no promises..

So first and foremost I want to give such a huge humble thanks to Ms. Bagsby and all members of Texas Women Empowerment Articles for such an amazing honor! This is not taken lightly by far..

You know they put so many different women on the map don't matter the race, size, height or where you from.. That's what speaks to me, in a world full of hate where 10 year old girls don't feel beautiful enough and kill them selves, you guys said we love you, come here and tell your stories to the world.. And that to me is what is most important..

You know I started that charity because I was those little girls..

When my mom moved us here from the islands a long while ago I was the chunky girl in class.. That nerd that went home to nothing because my mom worked her ass off cleaning mansions for people and could barely afford rent..

Those days are long gone but I still remember that hurt and pain I seen in my moms face.. I still remember those words those kids would say to me and the torment I felt everyday..

So for me Journalism is my voice to change what these industry people say is sexy and acceptable out here...

Like it or not, everyone isn't a size 0.. I don't know anyone in my personal life with plastic surgery butts from here to Mississippi.. No, we're REAL WOMEN! This is what real women look like..."

I said spinning around..

"They look like you out in the audience as well..

I had to kick down so many doors to get here and be confident in who I was.. That's what it's all about owning your WORTH!

I've been told no for being a curvy girl for so long I stopped asking and started taking..

I was in a relationship where I was abused mentally.. and it's funny because no matter how much my mom would remind me of how much I was a queen I just couldn't get a grasp of that with him.. But then one day God stepped in and I began to Flourish from inside out..

I have some really good friends and one couldn't be here tonight but I wanted to show you a slide show.."