When I come bearing gifts

To tempt Tala's sweet tooth,

She opens the door and invites me,

But I find it impossible to move,

Because I stare at her in utter awe.

Freshly showered, her hair still drips

At the ends. It takes all my willpower

Not to reach out and touch those tendrils,

Each drop splashing upon that dress

In which we lost ourselves to lust

Three years ago. Does she remember?

Or is it mere coincidence she's chosen

That same white cotton eyelet frock,

Falling mid-calf yet almost translucent

In this mid-morning winter sun?

Tala wears no makeup except for a

Faint gloss on her strawberry lips.

When she smacks them, I can't breathe.

Extra weight has filled out her curves

The devil in me wants to touch them all.

"Hey, you there?" she asks teasingly,

Her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Holding out her hand, Tala takes my

Humble offering of snacks and sweets

When I enter her room. I'm nervous,

Palms sweating like it's our very first

Date because that's exactly what it is

Even though we're meeting as friends.

We never dated.

Tala and I were kindred souls

Before we became engaged.

I'd known her all my life.

We didn't have to date because we were

More intimate than two souls could be,

But now we have to relearn each other.

"Hey, Rick?"

My throat chokes out a pained, "Yeah?"

She reaches up and places her palm

Upon my heart, steadying herself

Before she kisses my cheek tenderly,

But her lips linger a second longer.

"This doesn't have to be awkward."

Tell that to my furiously pounding heart.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

And if I'm not careful, it won't be anymore.

God, give me strength. Please...

"What about Alice in Wonderland?" asks

Tala. "We used to watch it as kids."

Her question snaps me back to reality.

I groan. Of course it'll be animated.

"Dude, you said I could choose."

There's one good thing...

It won't tempt either of us

Into an occasion of sin.

It's what we need right now.

At least I do.

"Yep, that works! I'll make popcorn."

When I bring back the bowl, she grabs

A handful and shoves it undaintily into

Her mouth with a giggle, covering her

Lips, and the urge to kiss her is just...

God, thank you for making

Such a beautiful woman.

Mind, body, and soul.

But why does it have to be

Such exquisite torment?

"Hey, remember when we were

Friends? And you would do that thing?"

I give her a skeptical look. "What thing?"

"Where you'd sit up, and I'd rest against

You?" she says. "My back to your chest."

God, why do you test me so?

"It felt so nice to snuggle like that.

Can we do it again?"

My voice has become a croak. "Yeah..."

I shrug off the dress jacket,

Hanging it on her wooden bedpost.

When Tala nestles against me, it's both

Heaven and hell intertwined when

My arms cradle her sides, her head

Resting against my heart, our bodies so

Close I could imagine us doing more.

And I react.

Hail Mary, full of grace,

The Lord is with thee...

When Tala wiggles, nestling nearer,

It's as though she wants to torture me.

I bite my tongue so I don't betray

The exquisite pleasure and anguish.

Spirit versus flesh. Love versus need.

Blessed art thou amongst women

And blessed is the fruit of thy womb.

This time it does nothing to help.

Tala takes my hands, wrapping them

Around her stomach, right below her

Chest. If I move an inch, I will touch

What I've longed to touch my entire

Adult life. If only we were married...

Tala tilts her head back and smiles.

Little vixen. I know that look.

"Is that okay?"

My Adam's apple bobs and I nod.

But I can't help how my body betrays

How much I really desire her.

Damn this dress that

Haunts my every lustful sin!

"Oh, sorry," she whispers, shifting her

Weight so that she isn't touching me.

I hold her steady.

My demand falls harsher than I intend.

"Stay with me..."

A flash of recognition crosses her eyes,

And I wonder if Tala will slap me.

She should.

Any traditionalist woman

Would slap me right now.

Tell me off!

Bring me to my senses!

Instead, she stares at my lips.

And I'm done.

If she wanted me,

I'd give it all away.

No matter how much

I'd pay for it later.

Tala turns off the TV

Just as the caterpillar asks:

"Whoooo...aaaaaare...youuuuu?"

Excellent question.

I don't know anymore.

"I...don't want you to regret this,"

says Tala. "Not like last time."

"I led us into sin," I insist. "I'm a man.

It's my spiritual duty to stand strong

For both of us, but I led us astray.

It was wrong for me to give into desire,

And I needed to atone for it."

"Don't punish yourself

For desiring your future wife."

"And yet you are no longer.

Had we given into temptation,

We would have given each other

Our greatest gift and yet we would

Belong to another, filled with regret."

"Belong?" Tala straddles me, and now

I'm sure she'll strike. "Excuse you?"

"If you have rejected the Lord,

I can push you no further into sin."

"Mind you own soul!" she exclaims.

"Of course you don't need to, right?

What with you being a perfect Catholic!"

"It's cute..." I cup her hips gently.

"That you think I don't sin."

She scoffs.

I grasp her tighter.

"My soul is already damned, Tala."

"Why? Because you watched The

Matrix?" she says in a snarky tone.

"You want to know why?"

"Yes!"

When I coax her hips into motion,

She parts her lips in ecstasy and teases,

Frenetic friction fueling raw passion.

God! If it feels this good through clothes,

I will fucking die on my wedding night.

"You know exactly what I do." I press up

And against her. "So that I don't give in."

She arches her body with a gasp,

An image that she has now indelibly

Branded on my heart. In my mind.

Though I may forget my own name,

I will never forget her as she is now.

Her eyes glint. With fury or lust?

Perhaps she does not need to choose.

Our eyes lock.

Passion. Raw passion.

The passion between man and wife.

She grasps the neck of my tie.

My breath catches as she pulls me

Closer before loosening it and

Yanking it away with a single tug,

Throwing it onto the carpet.

"Did it ever occur to you?" she asks.

"That I may have wanted you as much

As you wanted me? If not more?"

"Tala..."

"Did it ever cross your beautiful mind?"

She slows down her pace, now languid,

Tracing my face with tender fingertips.

"That I long for your touch all the time?"

My lips part,

But I can't speak.

"That I've already committed mortal sin

Just like you do because I want you?"

Tala grasps my neck firmly

Just the way I like her touch

Before raking her fingers

Up through my hair.

I keep her gaze.

"So...damn...much?"

Her words slip through clenched teeth,

And there's no hiding my body's desire.

"How dare you think it's just you?"

"Show me!" I demand, almost furious.

If I sound angry, it's because I am.

Angry that she left.

Angry that she abandoned God.

Angry that I can't marry her anymore

And screw her senseless in that dress

On our most sacred wedding night.

"Oh, I'll show you!"

Her words fall harsh and breathy

As she grasps my shoulders and

Rides me, fully clothed, while I trail

My fingertips up and down her sides,

Cupping every one of her sultry curves,

This gorgeous dress my only barrier.

If we ever do marry, I don't care how

Beautiful her wedding dress is, I will

Unify with her in flesh, mind and spirit

While she wears this damned dress, the

One she wears in my every evil fantasy.

"How dare you think you're my keeper?"

Tala cups her own curves as she speaks,

Still riding me, and I groan in ecstasy.

"How dare you think you have sole

Authority what I do with my body?"

She's trembling. Anger or lust?

Or both? Either way I need her now!

"It's my sin," insists Tala. "I want this.

As long as you want it like I do."

When she stops, I groan, coaxing her hips

But she won't have it, planting gentle

Kisses along my jawline and on my lips,

So tender that my heart aches for her.

"I'm not going to pressure you," she says.

"We fall together or not at all."

"Fall!" I command her. "Make us fall!"

Tala's kind, but I don't want that now.

I need her raw power, crackling energy.

You're a lightning storm! Strike me!

Grasping her hips, I thrust against her,

Imagining it's real and I almost lose

Control with a ragged exhale, a groan

As she nestles into my neck with gentle

Nips and tugs that send me spiraling.

Tala, I need you now!

I love her passion, her strength of will.

Every time she does not submit to the

Dogma of faith, I swear I love her more.

Every time she challenges me, I admire.

That's not how it's supposed to be,

But that's the way it is.

God have mercy on my soul.

Because I'm falling so fucking fast

And I don't want to stop. Ever.

Bang, bang, bang, bang!

Furious fingers press the keypad lock.

That'll be Katie, with all the subtlety

Of a Megalosaurus on a mission.

My heart leaps into my throat as

Tala jumps off me and gathers herself,

Straightening out her wrinkled dress

And clearing her throat before

Raking her fingers through damp curls.

Katie marches into the room and halts,

After which she turns beet red and

Gapes at the two of us, as though

She can't believe what she's seeing.

I grab the nearest pillow for decency.

I'm clothed, but still. No need for that.

"Oh! Oh...oh, my bad.

Uh...I just...well, yeah..."

Katie gestures at the door

And stumbles backward.

"I'm just gonna...head on...out.

You guys...carry on."

Katie marches back out of the room,

Letting the door slam unceremoniously.

Sweet Mary, Lady Protector of my Soul!

Katie truly is our guardian angel.