It was here. It was finally here.

Night one of Love on Tour.

Backstage was as crazy as Wednesday thought it would be. Her and Gemma had come for the first show in Birmingham, unwilling to miss it. And as they sat in the lounging area, talking nervously about the show, it sounded like the entire backstage was preparing to go to war.

The dressing rooms were a flurry of people that they didn't want to get in the way of. Harry and the band were having their hair styled, makeup applied, and outfits put on and if Wednesday's prior knowledge of how chaotic the experience was told her anything, it was that the less people around to be in the way, the better.

She sat on the leather sofa next to Gemma, watching the people lingering in the room, other people backstage. Some of the team were dipping in and out, coming to grab a coffee or a water from the machine, sometimes coming to say hello to Wednesday.

She watched the circus with a sad nostalgia. It wasn't until she was back in the eye of the storm that she realised just how fun the stress and pressure of it all was; the payoff was well worth the work. The team was pretty much the same too, down to the lighting and sound tech guys. They would pop in every few minutes or so, say hi to her and have a mini catch up before getting back to work.

"Didn't realise how much I'd missed the feeling of being backstage until now," Wednesday said.

"I know, I can imagine this will all be bringing it back for you," Gemma smiled, looking over to her. "But this break won't be forever. You'll be back on the road with Harry soon enough."

Wednesday smiled at her, nodding before looking to the door.

Even from where they sat, backstage in the white brick room, she could hear the fans streaming into the arena, excitedly chatting and occasionally screaming. She could feel her nerves building and she wasn't even going to be on stage. Maybe it was because she knew the first nights were always the worst for pre-performance jitters. It was like she too was burdened with Harry and the band's anxiety, knowing how terrifying it was to step out there once again.

As two of the catering staff moved from the ping pong table, Wednesday raised her eyebrows at Gemma.

"Fancy a game while we wait?"

Gemma looked over, nodding. "Yeah, sure."

Truthfully, it was a much-needed distraction for how much she wanted to go into Harry's dressing room and see him, sit with him. They were still very much private, unknown to anyone except Zara. It would hardly bode well for her if she were to just waltz into the room and kiss him on the lips, which at this moment, was something she wanted to do very fucking much.

She picked up the racket as Gemma picked up hers and hit the ball gently, not wanting to send it rocketing to the other side of the room.

"What have you been up to anyway? I feel like I've barely seen you these past few months," Gemma said, looking up to her with a kind smile.

Oh nothing, just sleeping with your brother.

"Nothing really," Wednesday replied, clearing her throat. "Therapy, going for jogs. Nothing out of the ordinary."

She forced a smile over at her, hoping it sounded convincing.

"Did you enjoy your birthday? Sorry I didn't get to see you, I was away the week before you went and then after was when you were in Malibu," Gemma added.

Wednesday shook her head. "It's fine, honestly. And yeah, it was, uh..."

Images of Harry underneath, on-top of her and between her legs flew through her mind.

"It was good."

"What did you do?" Gemma asked, hitting the ball back as she looked up.

Harry.

"Went surfing, a bit of hiking, vineyard tasting and went out for a few meals with Jeff and Glenne," Wednesday said, biting her inner cheek.

She felt bad lying. Especially to someone who, over the years, had become somewhat of a surrogate sister to her. It wasn't untrue, what she was saying. It just wasn't the full truth. She didn't know whether that was worse or not.

"That sounds like it was fun," she replied, picking the ball up from where she'd missed it. Staring back over at Wednesday, a kind smile graced her lips. "You look a lot happier lately. It's nice to see."

First Sade and now Gemma? It was nice to know that dealing head on with her trauma and the endless soul searching she had to do in therapy was beginning to pay off.

And maybe something to do with Harry too. Maybe.

"Thanks. I feel a lot better. I think that ever since I stopped trying to chase happiness and just started taking each day as it comes, I've felt ten times better. That's what I told Harry the other week too."

"Told me what?" Harry's voice suddenly said into the air, and they both looked to the door to see him stood half in, half out, peering over at them with a grin.

"Speak of the devil himself. Have you managed to find a moment of peace to yourself?" Gemma smiled over at him.

Wednesday bit her cheek as he stepped into the room, shirtless with only his dress trousers on and tried to avert her eyes to the table. She was sure if she kept looking at him, her cheeks would go an extreme colour of pink and then go even redder when she had to explain it away.

"Just a minute. Thought I'd come see how you both are," he replied, smirking cheekily as he walked over to the ping pong table. "Do you need anything? Drinks or food? I can go ask someone to grab you something while you're back here waiting."

"No, we're alright I think," Gemma replied as Wednesday forced a smile at him, catching his gaze. She instantly saw the amusement in his eyes, knowing the effect just standing near her was having. "How are you feeling? Are you nervous?"

Harry brought his gaze back to Gemma as he stood at the side of the ping pong table, crossing his arms across his chest in a way that made his biceps even more defined. Wednesday chewed on her lip as she quickly turned her gaze away, knowing she'd definitely be unable to stop looking once she started.

It was almost like he was doing it on purpose. Dickhead.

"A bit yeah. I keep going for walks around just so I'm not sat letting the nerves get the better of me. But I'm excited more than anything. Feels like so long since I was last on tour now," he answered.

Wednesday could see the genuine excitement in his face in the way his lips were constantly turned up at the edges. His demeanour was different, a bit more rigid from the nerves. But she knew that once he was up there, it would all melt away. He'd ease into being the incredible performer he naturally was.

"It feels so much bigger this time around," Gemma observed with an excited smile.

"I know. Bit strange, missing one member of the team," he looked over to Wednesday, shooting her a small smile. "But I'm sure we'll all still have fun."

"Of course you will. And me and Wednesday will be down near the stage watching, won't we?"

Wednesday forced a smile over at her, nodding. "Yep. We will be the two drunk old ladies surrounded by a bunch of teenagers."

Harry looked over at her, smiling with some sort of expression Wednesday couldn't read. It was like they both didn't know how to talk to each other in this weird predicament when people were around; they felt on edge, hyper aware of looking too comfortable with each other.

"Exactly," Gemma agreed, putting the racket down. "I'm just going to nip to the toilet. Feel free to take my place temporarily," she said to Harry, pushing the racket over to him as she smiled and turned on her heel, exiting the room.

Wednesday hadn't noticed that the other people in the room had slowly left as the show got closer to beginning, leaving just them and one sound guy getting coffee from the machine.

Harry picked the racket up, going to the end of the table and looking directly across at her.

"I know you probably already know this," she said, barely above a whisper, looking inconspicuously over her shoulder at the man who was in an entire world of his own. "But if I could, I'd give you the biggest good luck kiss I could right now."

She looked back to Harry when she was confident the man hadn't heard a thing over the machine's whirring, catching his eyes.

He picked up the ball, hitting it over to her. "I know. I wish you could too."

A suggestive smile came up onto his lips after another minute of mindless playing. "You know, there are toilets down the corridor. I'm sure no-one would mind me dipping out for five minutes."

Rolling her eyes, she continued to play against him, keeping all of her concentration on the ball so as not to give in to his smug face.

"Oh, I'm sure that would be really discreet," she said back quietly, noticing the man leaving the room behind them. "Everyone running around looking for you like headless chickens and then a second later we step out of the disabled toilets together."

He shrugged, grinning as he looked down at the table. "I've done much worse in these backstage areas and gotten away with it."

Pretending she hadn't heard that for her own sanity, she hit the ball harder, whizzing it past him. He looked at the ball bouncing on the floor and then back to her with a lopsided grin.

"Hit a nerve, did I?"

She lifted up her racket threateningly. "I'll hit one of your nerves when I bounce this off of your head."

Harry smirked, chewing on his gum. "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

At the exact moment Wednesday was ready to chuck the wooden paddle at him, Gemma appeared again through the door.

"What did I miss?" she asked, standing next to Harry as he tried to hide his amused smile, putting the paddle down.

"Nothing, I was just saying I best get back to getting ready."

He leant forward and planted a kiss on Gemma's forehead, hugging her into him for a second. Then he walked around the table and Wednesday closed her eyes as he leant forward, doing the same to her.

Only this time, his fingers found their way to her backside and squeezed, hard enough to make her jump in surprise. Her eyes widened, looking to his composed face with shock and then back over to Gemma, to see if she'd noticed. Thankfully, she'd been oblivious.

"Will you come see me before you go out into the crowd?" he asked, looking between them.

"Of course," Gemma smiled, Wednesday nodding along, ignoring the heat in her face.

"Cool. Right, well I'll get back to the dressing room. Jeff's probably having a meltdown wondering where I am," he explained, walking over to the door.

He shot them one last grin, before disappearing again.

It didn't take long for the frenzy backstage to become even more chaotic as the show got closer to starting. When there were only ten minutes until go time, Wednesday and Gemma slipped out to find their places, but not before finding Harry to say good luck.

Gemma gave him a warm hug, patting him on the back. Harry's eyes landed on Wednesday as she stepped forward to hug him after, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Though they were surrounded by people and noise echoed all around them, for that second, it was like they were the only people in the room.

"Good luck. You'll be incredible as always," she whispered, only for him to hear.

She pulled away, noticing the nerves on his face for a split second, only visible to her. Smiling as encouragingly as she could, she felt a spark of joy when she noticed the corners of his lips pull up.

And then, it was time for them to go into the pit.

They made their way through the long backstage corridors, finding their way to one of the doors into the arena. Thankfully the crowd was already shrouded in darkness, making their path to the back of the pit easy.

Wednesday noticed some heads turning in her direction, recognising her and seemingly realising she wasn't going to be up on the stage with the rest of the band. There were a few murmurs, the occasional flashes of a camera light, but she was far too excited to let it bother her. After all, she'd had nearly a decade of experiencing the scrutiny that came with being Harry's friend. A few whispers couldn't faze her, not tonight.

About five minutes later, the entire room went pitch black. And the build-up music began, a swirl of the songs from Fine Line; though, she could barely hear it over the sheer volume of the screams from all around her. She looked around in amazement, catching the excited, teary faces of all the people in the crowd and smiling proudly.

This was her first time attending a Harry Styles concert as a fan. And she felt more excited with every passing second.

There was some movement of bodies on the stage, the band taking their position, silhouettes moving through the darkness. A jolt of nostalgia filled her as she realised that that was what she would have been currently doing, had she not taken the break.

And then, the backing vocals of Golden floated through the air, accompanied by flashes of light as a slow humming of instruments began. The crowd went crazy, anticipating the appearance of Harry. The flashes of sound continued, abruptly ending just as quickly as they started, building the tension.

Just as the smoke started to fog the stage and the cymbals began, Harry's silhouette appeared on the staircase leading down to the microphone. And Wednesday had never felt an atmosphere so electric.

As the start of the song built, he started to walk down the stairs, towards the microphone. And then, just when he'd reached it, there was a flash of golden light shone onto him, illuminating his face as the song started and he leant into the mic.

"HA!"

The crowd burst into a melting pot of screams and excitement around them as Golden began to play. Wednesday saw the smirk on Harry's face at the response, knowing he was loving every second of being up there again.

As he sang, so well it sent shivers down her spine, she felt herself get swept up in the excitement of the crowd. It was like stood down there, watching him as one of the faces in the crowd, she fell for him even harder. It wasn't confusing to see why every single person in here was pining to get closer to him.

He was electric.

When Golden finished a few minutes later to rapturous applause, Harry walked to the guitar stand behind him, picked up the white Fender Telecaster and put it over his head, the rainbow strap laying on his shoulder. Then he walked back to the mic as he adjusted it, before looking up into the crowd.

"I am Harry Styles. And this is Love on Tour."

The band continued through the next few songs as Gemma and Wednesday sang as loud as they could manage. The show hadn't even hit the halfway point before her throat started feeling hoarse with the sheer amount of power she'd put into singing along.

She was sure that during some songs, he seemed to be searching the crowd with his brows furrowed, and she wondered if he could see them. Spot them dancing around at the back with their beers in hand, freely enjoying the music he was providing.

It felt extremely good, to see the concert from this angle. Enjoy it fully, instead of her playing on stage, watching him from the front instead of from the back. It was no wonder half the world was in love with him—his energy and aura during the show was infectious.

As the band took a break, grabbing some water between songs, Harry spoke again.

"The next song we're going to play for you is one of my favourites from the new album. I wrote it with my best friend, miss Wednesday Green, and I think it's pretty beautiful. If you know the words, sing along. This is To Be So Lonely."

Wednesday felt the faces turn towards her as she smiled at his mention, feeling a rush of excited nerves scorch her body. And it was like the turning of heads towards her created a direct line of vision to her as Harry's eyes finally found her in the sea of faces.

Everyone else simply drifted away as their eyes connected. A smile grew on his face as she sucked her lip between her teeth. For those few seconds, they were the only people in the room.

Aware of the people watching him closely, he averted his gaze, dropping his head as the music began. But his smile still lingered as his hand clutched the mic, somewhat shyly.

Wednesday listened to their song with a pride in her chest she couldn't explain. Gemma smiled over at her, shaking her with excitement at the fact a song she'd helped to write was actually being played to an entire arena right now. And the entire crowd was singing it as loud as they could.

The memory of Patrick popped into her head, the first time she'd thought about him in months. But there was no hatred, no ill-will. In fact, she felt grateful. Without him, she'd never be at the place she was at now. Singing along to her own song in an arena full of people, watching the man she cared for more than anyone else in the world perform.

Life really couldn't get much better.

The rest of the concert passed by in a blur of happiness and love. She'd never felt quite as enraptured by someone, watching him interact with the crowd in his usual charming way, joking and talking to fans. Sarah caught her eye at one point, waving excitedly over at her which she returned, blowing kisses her way.

As he got to the last song, he thanked everyone for being there, for making his opening night so special. Wednesday screamed like a 15-year-old, some small part of her hoping he'd distinguish her cheers from the crowds.

She knew it was time for him to play Fine Line. The song that made her want to sit and weep for all of eternity at the sheer beauty of it. His gentle voice floated through the air as people quietly cried around them. Wednesday let her eyes travel over the faces of people staring at him like he was the most perfect human to ever exist.

They were right. He was nothing short of perfection.

Wednesday felt her own eyes fill with wetness, her lip wobbling slightly as he continued to sing, the crescendo building. His eyes were wired shut, like the song took him somewhere far away. She wondered where he'd gone to in his mind as he sung, so beautifully it stole the air from her lungs.

Wiping the tear that spilled over as he continued to sing, Wednesday felt a pride for him that gripped her entire being. He'd done this. All of this. Made everyone fall in love with his music so effortlessly. Made everyone fall in love with him. His kind, pure heart a beacon of light in an otherwise cruel world.

And then the moment that made her body feel alive came as the song reached a peak.

"WE'LL BE ALRIGHT."

The lights flashed and Harry stepped back, opening his eyes to the crowd, his finger strumming on the guitar strings.

Wednesday bit her lip as she soaked in the view of him, thriving on stage. For a second, she let her own eyes close, allowing the music to overwhelm her senses and lift her up, out of her own body.