Jungkook

We change and go downstairs for lunch at one of the five restaurants in our lodge. We decide on eating Japanese and the meal is fabulous. We decide to have tea before leaving. Taehyung has on a pair of black skinny snug fitting jeans and a black tee shirt. Damn, could he be any sexier? The meal is delicious, and I decide to probe and find out more about him. Before I can ask him a question, he questions me as our tea arrives.

"Jungkook, can I ask why you are traveling to the US? Do you have family here?" Surprisingly, I don't feel as guarded as I did earlier. I know it's because in the past hours we have shared so much. The incident with Song bonded us in a unique way. We have laughed together and shared some tender moment where I fought to hold back my tears. We are no longer in the rear compartment of our luxury plane, yet I still feel a connection with him, and I want to share. I want Taehyung to know me. Why, I am not sure.

"Uh, I'm here on a business trip. I have a meeting on December 26 with the owner of a company that I want to purchase at a very good price." For some reason I feel embarrassed as I think of Taehyung's excitement about his Christmas holiday and being with his family. "I'm traveling to do a face to face, meeting a close the deal. Funny thing is, I haven't focused on any of my business since the incident with Min Song. I haven't looked at my email or checked my phone. I'm not even sure if we still have a deal. It's weird."

"What is Jungkook?" Taehyung picks up his teacup and takes a small sip.

"I believed that this deal was everything. It would boost my position in business and very nicely enhance my bank account. This is what I've worked for, or so I thought, but it doesn't matter? That is weird Taehyung."

"Jungkook, you appear to be a man that has achieved lot." I nod as he shares this and then he follows with a question.

"Have any of your achievements felt like enough or satisfying?" He places his cup back on the saucer and looks up at me with a faint smile.

I am caught completely off my guard by his question. I look down at my almond cookie as I ponder his query. Damn, he's smart and doesn't play around, I think bringing my eye upward to meet his.

"No, Taehyung it has never been enough. I-I thought it was satisfying but I always drove forward to the next deal thinking the next deal or next level of achievement would be the one." I feel the heaviness of my hallow space and it aches as I divert my eyes to Tae's delicate hands. I want to evade his deep probe into this part of me as my lowered walls start to rise.

"Taehyung, you are accomplished and driven. How has your journey to success been any different?" I question with a voice revealing slight irritation which he picks up right away and raises one eyebrow.

"Whoa, Jungkook." Slowly he presses his back into his chair and slightly raises a hand as to caution me. I feel him moving away from me and my chest aches. "I really don't think you want me to answer that, do you? I mean you no harm. I just wanted to know you better. Something happened to you on that flight, and I think it's very interesting." He now moves forward, and I feel he is back with me as my ache softens. "I will just say that being successful was never my mission. I just wanted to help others. I am successful," he shares very confidently as his head lifts up a bit higher. "I don't use the measurements of status, power and money like you do. I make very little money with doctors without borders. I could make more money as a waiter. I often get small perks." He actually starts to smile which bewilders me.

"What? But you're a doctor." I sit up straighter and farrow my eyebrows.

"Is it such a stretch, Jungkook for you believe that there are people in this world that do things completely void of a profit motive." He then laughs and my mouth falls opens. Why is this funny? I don't understand.

"Once, I delivered a baby in a small village. It was a difficult birth, and the father was so grateful. He gave me two chickens! Hahaha!" His eyes light up like the Christmas tree in our lobby.

"The feeling I get from helping and being of service enriches me on a daily basis. I love my work Jungkook, and I know I'm living in my purpose. I have great skills as a doctor and I'm using my skills to make a difference in the lives of others. What better is there than to know one's purpose and to then live in it." He sighs as his smile expands, and I see his satisfaction. Now I understand as my hallow space warms.

Oh my God he's such a good man. Is he real? Only Taehyung could turn this into one of his amazing stories. My mood has totally changed and now I want to hear his chicken story.

"What happen with the chickens?" I ask as I relax and smile softly.

"I gave the chickens to a neighbor. I had a small one room apartment and could not keep them for the 3 months that I was there. My neighbor gave me fresh eggs that I enjoyed several times per week." He looks up and I am just undone by this man. I chuckle and smile.

"Taehyung, please forgive my brashness. I-I was embarrassed about what I said and felt defensive. After the incident with Song, I can't see myself in my old life. Isn't that strange?" I look up at him as his laugh, smile, and compassion for others fills my heart.

"Jungkook, it really is okay. I understand. Can you share with me what happened for you when we were working with Song?"

I put my head down for a moment and then look out towards the window and briefly get lost in the beauty of the falling snow. It's detail that I never really noticed before. Snow. I nod my head and start to share.

"I'm not actually sure. It was like seeing my own life stretched out in front of me. I felt empty and there was this cold darkness all around me at first. But suddenly it all changed, and the dark emptiness was gone. It was replaced with this feeling of ease and comfort. My hollowness was filled by a radiating gentle warmth. Ever since then I've been sharing all kinds of vulnerable shit like this." I chuckle and take a sip of my tea. "This is not me." I lower my head as I continue. "But I don't want to carry this emptiness any longer. I've also had some very sweet memories come up Taehyung. When you were talking about the bunnies, I was reminded of how mother would call me her little bunny. I keep having flashbacks of my mom and even dad at Christmas. The memories were sweet and tender. I had forgot them and now they are resurfacing after the event with Min Song."

"Jungkook are your parents in South Korea?"

"No, my mother died when I was 12, My dad uh... that's another story for another day. He lives in South Korea, and we have not spoken since I was 15 years old." I swallow and divert my eyes for a few seconds.

"Oh, I'm sorry. So, you have no other family?"

"Nope. Just him. But that's the way we both want it?" I rub the back of neck knowing that is not completely true. I need to shift this conversation off me as I feel my heart sink a bit as I think about father. This new a feeling of love for him.

"So, w-what about you, Taehyung?" I clear my throat and push back my sadness.

"Well, my mother and father live in Los Angeles, and I have two sisters that are younger than me that I absolutely adore. The wonderful man I call my father is actually my stepfather and he raised me since I was two years old. Dad and mom are my biggest supporters, and he is my hero. He is not Korean nor is he Asian and I love him terribly. He is the natural father of my two sisters. I met my sperm doner a few years ago." He says with a chuckle as I sit up straight with increased focus. "He has been trying to get to know me for several years, but I would not allow it."

"What happen, that changed that for you?" I ask leaning in as my interest grows."

"The same thing I think that happen to you, Jungkook."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was working in a small village after an earthquake. I was the first to arrive with a nurse. A man had been critically injured and our supplies and other medical staff were delayed. He had a beautiful large family. They were very poor and barely had enough to eat. But were happy and so grateful for each day. We worked on him for like 8 hours straight. I lost him several times and then revived him several times while waiting for supplies and medications that could save his life.

The nurse and I were exhausted beyond human capacity. But I kept going having nothing left. Just when I felt like I could not go any further, I heard singing outside. Everyone in the village gathered outside with this man's family. I did not understand the language, but I felt it Jungkook. It was beautiful, cathartic and spiritual. There was something powerful in those moments. I found energy that I did not know existed. Logically it made no sense, but we worked on the man for two more hours until resources and medical personnel arrived. He lived Jungkook and it was not me. It was something far greater that I cannot explain.

Yea called it an Awakening.

"What! She said the same thing to me." I grip the table totally connected to Taehyung and his story.

"Jungkook, that was not the first time I heard that term."

"What?" I bite down on my lip with eager anticipation as he continues.

"I finally shared my experience with a spiritual leader when I was in Peru. When I shared about this amazing thing that happened to me, he just smiled softly and nodded. He called it an Awaken. The awakening often occurs at times when there is a complete and utter selfish-less act. I believe this is what happened to you Jungkook. You didn't think about your business or how much I pissed you off. You just were suddenly completely present with a willingness to help another. Yes, you of all people Jungkook were without thought of yourself. I felt such a connection, with this power and suddenly, I knew I needed to fix my relationship with my natural father. I knew right away that I needed to forgive him. I needed to make right parts of my life that were weighing me down and keeping me from being my best self. We have become very close and today on the phone at the airport he told me he loved me, for the first time and I said, me too. It was honest and I do love him. " Tae has such a look of peace and satisfaction. It is attractive and I desire to feel my own peace and satisfaction.

"Mr. Choi is my father, the owner of Choi Airlines. No, he is not my boyfriend." And after such a beautiful and heartfelt story he laughs his wonderful laugh. Only Taehyung would do this. My annoying butterflies return, and I just want to pull him into my arms and kiss him deeply.

"Ah fuck me," I say as I bang his head repeatedly on the table while he continues to laugh.