Kookie's POV

I wake and he is cuddle into me. I smile gently and watch him sleep. His skin is as flawless as a child's. I don't want to leave his side or be without him. How scared my baby boy got yesterday when he woke alone. Tae gives the outward perception of strength and confident. He is all of those, yet he has an inner soft core that is delicate and vulnerable. I love that he has need for me and is not afraid to share it.

We had an amazing day yesterday and I have never laughed hard and had so much fun. Never have I experienced sex as I have with Tae. It was unbelievable and amazingly connecting. I thirst for him. I believe he is getting as attached to me as I am to him. My attraction and need for him is strong, yet it has only been 48 hours since we met.

Slowly, I sit up placing my pillow behind me and pressing my back into the headboard. I now freely touch his soft beautiful blue hair that was so irresistible on the plane when I was drawn to him. I move my finger through it catching a clump of strands and twirl them between my fingers. It is as soft and silky as I had imagined. I look to the massive window with the splendid mountain view and watch the snow as it falls. What a beautiful Christmas morning.

Having him next to me this Christmas morning warms my heart, but I cannot help but feel that there is something missing. Something that I need to take care of. But I know only he could restore my lost joy for this day. I have all that I need next to me.

Tae and I have no solid plans for today other than to be together. I love that about Tae. He lives in the moment and is not a slave to schedules and plans. He is truly free. I chuckle to myself because schedules and plans run my life. However, after several days I have not checked my calendar or email. Only a phone text that caught my attention yesterday. Seriously, I don't care. It's my company and I get to say what happens. My only business is Tae. I am however aware that I have no control over him. I chuckle and think, as if I could control hm. He is free and would never allow that. He can't because that is not who he is.

My thoughts wonder and I think of father. He reaches out to me at least once a month by email and always on holidays, but I never respond. I swallow and feel an ache build in my chest. After all these years he still ...tries. Why is that so sad? My awakening has changed everything. My vision is clearing in so many areas of my life. Where there was intolerance there is compassion. I have an urge to get my computer and look for his Christmas email. I know he has sent it. He never forgets. He knows I receive them because they are never returned. I don't read them. As angry and hurt as I have been I have not deleted them. They lay in a folder waiting. For what I do not know.

My eyes burn with tears as I think of mother and him on our last Christmas together. I have thought of that day often in the last two days. Surprisingly, the memory is not as painful as it once was. It is bittersweet. No, I just can't go there. Not now. I can't show Tae sad eyes. I will find my joy with my boyfriend today. Maybe later with Tae's support I will look at his email. Maybe.

I return my attention to the beautiful man lying next to me. I am unable to resist him and begin to rub his exposed back. I lean down and start placing soft kisses from shoulder-to-shoulder hoovering above him. He starts to move and releases the soft purr of a baby tiger.

He is remarkable. He twists his body, turns towards me and opens his beautiful eyes that instantly convey a smile.

"Mmm," he stretches and yawns. "Good morning Kookie."

I smile at him softly and gently press my lips to his forehead lingering for a few seconds.

"Merry Christmas, Baby." I watch as a startled look appears that quickly transitions into a big smile.

He tosses his arms around my neck and pulls me to him. He wraps me so tightly that I can barely breath.

"Merry Christmas Kookie." Peace and joy radiate so powerfully from him that I am swept away by its force. That is the way it is with Tae. I am certain that my insides are glowing.

We both sit up as I place his pillow behind his back.

"Ohh, Kookie look at how beautiful the snow is as it falls. Do you see those gorgeous snowcapped mountains?" He presses both palms to his cheeks as he expresses his awe. "It's very special Christmas snow. Isn't it lovely?"

"Yes, it is Tae." He swiftly takes my hand and pulls me out of bed. He is shirtless with only his sleep pants on and me in my boxers.

"Come Kookie! Let's watch the snow! Teehee." He is like a child at play.

We stand at the grand window, and I see the same wonder in his eyes that I saw when he laid under our Christmas tree the first time.

"Kookie, I have something for you. Teehee!" He runs out of the room, as I quickly grab two of my clean tee shirts and follow him. He is standing in front of our Christmas tree with the biggest smile I have seen on his face.

"Babe it's chilly. Please put on a tee shirt." He smiles as I try to care for him. He complies and allows me to pull the shirt over his beautiful blue head. How cute he is in my oversized tee shirt. He is quite the sexy boyfriend.

He reaches under the tree and gives me a beautifully wrapped gift.

"Merry Christmas Kookie! Teehee." He giggles so adorable as he bounces on his feet with excitement.

"Tae you did not need to give me a gift. I didn't think we were doing this. Exchanging presents. You really should not have."

"Kookie, I enjoy giving. That is what makes Christmas so special, and you are special to me. Teehee." He beams.

I smile and before I take his gift offering, I walk behind the tree and find a beautifully wrapped gift for him.

"Well baby, since we are exchanging gifts, I had to get something for my baby boy." He starts bouncing again and I can't help but to laugh at him.

"Oh Kookie! You got me something too! Tae is bubbling with excitement and giggles. I have never seen him so excited. I love it. This is Tae x2. Tae clearly cannot hold his excitement. I am sure that thought never occurs to one who is as free as he is. Why would it. He certainly doesn't give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him.

I take his hand and lead him to sit on the sofa. I nod with a reassuring smile and ask him to go first.

"Teehee." He opens the box slowly and then chuckles when he sees a blue hat, scarf and glove set to match his blue hair.

"How did you know I like blue? Hahahaha! Thanks, Kookie. I will need this when we leave." He pulls on his hat as I smile. He then leans over to given me a sweet kiss on my cheek.

" What is this? Another box?"

"Looks like it is baby." I am full of anticipation as he opens the small box and then releases a sweet soft sigh.

"Oh Kookie. Channel earrings. They are purple. I love them." He grabs me and hugs me tight.

"Kookie they are quite expensive."

"What? There's nothing too expensive for my boyfriend. You will look beautiful in them as you always do. I look forward to spoiling you Tae."

"Thanks, Kookie." He leans in and gives me a peck on my lips.

"Now your gift Kookie."

I take my time and open the small box to reveal a sterling silver ornament that is engraved with "Our first Christmas." My throat starts to burn as I swallow holding back my tears. What a special gift symbolizing the importance of our time together this Christmas. I know how important Christmas is to Tae. I am honored that he would mark the significance of our time today with such a gift.

"Thank you Tae I love it." I take his hand and walk over to the tree and find the perfect spot for our new ornament.

"Kookie when we get to LA I will have our names engraved on it. We will have it for this Christmas and every Christmas that we are together."

"That's a lot of Christmas Tae. It's beautiful baby." We embrace and stand in front of our tree for quite a while sharing the moment. Softly Tae starts to talk.

"Kookie what do you want to do on our first Christmas together?"

Before I can answer he starts talking rapidly. "Oh, I have my video call with my family in a few hours. It's still very early in LA. But I hear there is an amazing Christmas brunch by the grand Christmas tree in the lobby. Can we do that? I'd love to have brunch by the Christmas tree and be with all the other people!" He's not only bouncing but now he is clapping. It is our day, but I see it as more of his. I will do anything to make it special for him. He deserves this and more.

"Of course, we can."

"Yay, Kookie, Teehee." Tae is simply giddy.

"Kookie, I want to shower and dress by myself because I want to put on something special." He lowers his head shyly. "I want to look nice for you today."

"Tae you always look wonderful. But I look forward to the surprise and I will miss my boyfriend in the shower this morning but there's always tonight."

"Teehee." He gathers up his gifts and runs off excitedly to his bedroom and closes the door.

Wow, he is so amazing. I also have a special outfit for a nice evening out. I think it will be appropriate and I hope he will be pleased.

About an hour later Tae emerges and he is radiant. He is gorgeous as ever and is wearing a beautiful dark purple shirt, with dark pants over a beautiful nylon, and silk coat that is sheer and hand embroidered with flowers. As he walks towards me his outer coat flows and I swear he is moving down the catwalk to receive his award for the sexiest man alive. I swallow to avert drooling on myself. My mouth falls open and I'd love to do nothing more than toss him over my shoulder and spend the rest of our holiday loving him in his soft bed.

"Oh my God Tae you are stunning! Baby you're wearing the earrings I gave you!" I gasp. "Tae I'm not sure I can take you out because every man is going to want you. I'd of course be busy fighting them all. That would not make a good holiday for us."

"Teehee. Kookie, you look amazing, and I am certain you'll awaken a jealous part of me that I'd prefer not to deal with today. Hahahaha!"

"Tae you never have to be jealous. I am all yours."

"And I am all yours Kookie. I really mean that."

"I believe you Tae."

We head down to the lobby and when the elevator doors open Tae lights up like the giant lit Christmas tree before us. It is a grand scene as the ski lodge lobby has been transformed into a Holiday paradise and winter wonderland. The wait staff are all dressed like Santa's helpers.

We enjoy and amazing 5-star brunch meal. The tree is lit as Christmas music plays and Tae sings along. It is not long before I am singing with him enjoying the few hundred others that are gathered into this wonderful space. There are families with small children. Santa arrives and the uncontained joy and excitement in the eyes of the children is marvelous. As Santa's helpers pass out gifts to the children, I see a twinkle in Tae's eyes as he watches. I feel a mixture of sadness and joy. There stills something that is missing. I push forward and focus on my Tae and our time together.

Tae is smiling and chattering away as our private elevator rises towards our suite a few hours later.

"Kookie did you see all of those precious little ones? Many of them were barely walking and others were running all over the place being free. Hahahaha! I just love it!"

"Tae I can tell you like children."

"Yes, of course Kookie. Do you like children?"

"I never really thought about it." Tae's laughter suddenly stops.

"What? You've never been around any children? Don't some of your friends..." He stops talking as he recalls I never had friends prior to meeting him. I swallow and look away as I feel ashamed of my broken parts.

"Oh Kookie, I'm so sorry." I nod knowing that he was just asking a question. It's not his fault that my life was so closed off.

"Kookie have you ever thought about children."

"Why would I do that Tae!" I snap as he steps back and looks at me. My chest aches and I just want to get into the suite.

Tae smiles softly knowing that my response was not about him. I've entered into a space of pain and I'm not sure want to do. I don't want to say anything that will hurt him. I care for him so much. I think I'll go into my room for a short while and return after I'm settled. Before I can leave Tae grabs my arm.

"Kookie, my family call is in 30 minutes." He is vibrating with joy as I breathe and try to readjust to the happy space, I was in with him earlier. But it was something about those families and small children. There are several children I notice that were about the age I was when I was last with my parents many Christmases ago. The children looked so happy. I could just feel their love. I am happy yet there is also a bitterness rising as Tae continues to talk.

'I know it's a lot, but would you be, uh willing to meet my family? If you are uncomfortable, I understand. But they will have to meet you at some point. We haven't decided things yet but when we get to LA we will go see them." Tae diverts his eyes towards the view as I see how uncomfortable this is for him. I'm completely thrown off by his request and my mouth falls open and I do not answer. My thoughts are still stuck on the families at the Christmas brunch. I look away unable to respond and I'm not sure what to say. I know I want to say yes, but it does not come.

I hear his audible swallow after about 5 seconds of extremely awkward silence.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kookie." His voice falls to just above a whisper. "Uh, I'll freshen up and get ready for my call. I'll need to set-up my laptop and get the Wi-Fi code. Uh, m-maybe later we can do uh, whatever." He slowly walks away, and I don't have to see his eyes to know they have lost their light. His voice became weak as he talked. He is in pain. What the fuck just happened. Why did I freeze? Now he thinks I don't want to meet his family. Oh God, he thinks I don't want to be with him. Fuck!

I run behind him and grab his wrist and turn him towards me before he reaches his bedroom. His eyes are sad as he forces a soft smile but his bottom lip quivers. He cannot fake his joy. Not Tae. I have hurt him, and I am so sorry.

He is looking down as he slowly turns. I need him to see my eyes so he will see my intentions. He is very intuitive. I need him to see how much I care... how much I...Oh, God, I love him. I'm in love with him. I can't tell him now. He'll think it's a desperate attempt keep him here with me. I hold him tight and slowly he relaxes into me. He pushes away gently. He has no idea how much he means to me.