"Yesterday afternoon... Hannah Baker was found..dead-" The principal began. You had been surprised when the school was called to an immediate assembly, now you wish you had never went. Hannah.. was dead? The girl who had been your best friend for nearly a lifetime was gone, just like that. How had you not been aware of Hannah's emotions, surely she had shown signs? You couldn't help but blame yourself, after all you were her best friend and you thought you could tell each other everything.

You couldn't handle the guilt. Tears were welling up and your chest was beginning to get tight. You raised from your seat in the gym and walked out, vision blurred and cheeks stained with tears. You ran to an empty classroom and slid against the door, knees to your chest and head in hands. No..NO. She cant be dead. She isn't dead. You repeated this, hoping that it might come true; Deep down you knew that in reality, you had lost your best friend, and this time she wasn't coming back. Soft knocks on the wooden door drifted you away from your thoughts.

"Y/n?" A gentle voice asked. You could hear the sadness dripping from their words. "Y/n please open the door.." The voice replied. This time you could hear the voice clearer and you immediately knew it was the voice of the beloved Alex Standall.

"I-"

"Shh.. Its okay, y/n. You don't have to speak.. Just..Open the door for me?" He pleaded. You sniffed and wiped your nose with your sleeve. You sighed before getting back to your feet and unlocking the door, Only to be face with a tear stained young boy. You didn't say anything. You didn't have to. You were immediately brought to Alex's chest as you sobbed quietly, tears falling onto his clothes. He buried his head into your hair and brushed his fingers through your hair. "Its going to be okay.. Everything will get better, I promise you" He whispered. You nodded and quickly sniffed. You soon pulled away and wiped your eyes.

"Im gonna get out of here.. I'll see you tomorrow?" You watched Alex, Sadness easily spotted in his eyes. He nodded sympathetically before blowing you a kiss and watching you leave the classroom.

However, you didn't see Alex the next day at school, nor the next day, or the day after. In fact, this carried on for at least 2 weeks. You sat on the hood of your car and kicked the dirt with your messy converse. 'So much for everything's gonna get better' you mumbled before rolling your eyes. You couldnt say that you weren't popular in school, in fact everyone wanted to be your friend, especially the jocks. However you had a small friend group consisting of Hannah and Alex. And now that Hannah was gone, Alex had left too.

You continued to stare at the crumbling ground below you, tears threatened to spill. However you held them back and began to daydream, that was until you felt a sudden grip on your waist. You immediately brought your hand to the air and slapped the person that had approached you. "Fuck! Ow, Shit!" You heard the familiar mumbles of the person that had left you for weeks.

"Alex?!" You shouted. You ran into his arms and stared at him. He was currently rubbing his hand against his cheek.

"you have a good fucking aim for someone that has never been in a fight before." He grumbled. After your excitement from seeing your friend has settled in and realisation hit you, you brought your hand to his cheek again.

"What. The. FUCK?!" He whisper-yelled.

"Thats for leaving me without keeping in touch or even telling me where you were going." You frowned before leaning in to his now hand-printed cheek and planted a kiss on it. "And thats for coming back." You sighed.

"Oh y/n.. I am so sorry, I mean, I just had to get away.. I had my own way of grieving I guess." He mumbled. You immediately felt guilty for slapping him... twice. Hannah was Alex's friend too, He had his own way of getting over this.

"No Alex Im sor-" You began until Alex cut you off.

"No. Dont apologise. You need to come with me." He interrupted firmly.

"O-Okay" you gulped. You followed Alex to his car and sat down in the passenger seat.

Y/n.. I. What I'm about to show you is uh-"

"Spit it out" You pressed.

"Yeah yeah sorry. Just, I want you to know that I didn't mean for this to happen.. Im so sorry, Just.. listen" He sighed before looking out of his window, resting his head in his hands. You looked down at his lap and saw a cassette player. You gulped and brought it to your own lap and lifted the headphones above you ears.

After around 30/45 mins you had finally finished the tape. Your mouth became dry, no words could escape.

"I-" Alex breathed heavily. "Im so sorry" He whispered. You stared at him in horror. Your best friend, Hannah's best friend, had betrayed her. Alex.. killed Hannah? One part of you hated Alex, the other part wanted to hold him in your arms and tell him that it wasn't his fault.

"You.. You killed Hannah" You began, tears now welling up in your eyes. Realisation hit you again, this time 10x harder. "YOU. KILLED. MY BEST FRIEND." You sobbed. Alex had now began to cry.

"No, y/n please. It wasn't intentional I promise, Just.. forgive me, please" He begged. It was very rare of Alex to show his emotions, making you feel even more sympathetic towards him.

"goodbye, Alex." you spoke clearly before opening the car door and slamming it behind you. You walked back to your car and let the tears roll down your cheeks. You just wanted to get home, You had to get home. You twisted the key and the engine roared. You left the school building and began to drive home. Tears still blurred your vision and some sad ass song was playing on the radio.

"SHUT UP" You yelled before slamming your fist onto the radio. That was until you felt sudden contact and everything went black.

You were dreaming, or so you thought. You could hear things, but you couldn't move and you couldn't open your eyes. You could hear two men talking, however one of their voices were much deeper.

"How is she?"

"At the moment? Its hard to tell. She's had severe damage to her ribs and arms, especially her head. The police have watched the camera footage, it looked like miss y/l/n wasn't concentrating on the road when a truck slammed into the side of her car. She is in a coma and is very lucky to have survived. However, she has very little hope of waking up."

"Oh my- Thank you. Do you mind if I sat here for a little bit?"

"Go ahead, son." You could hear footsteps getting louder, suspected that the person was walking over to your hospital bed.

"y/n.. Im so sorry again. This is all my fault, I shouldnt have made that stupid list. If I could go back in time and change my actions I would, I swear it. I shouldnt have let you get in that car alone, especially not when you were in that state. I had two options, either to trust my best friend to hear my tape so that I would feel less guilty facing you, or to carry on letting you suffer with no explanation. Honestly, I would much prefer if you knew what had happened than you to carry on living your life looking for an explanation..." Alex. You wanted to jump in his arms and tell him that everything was okay, but you physically couldnt.

"y/n.. I dont want to be the one thats left behind. First Hannah and now you? I couldnt live with myself if I lost you too. Dont hate me, I love you. You'll forever be my best friend and you'll forever be in my heart. Please wake up." You couldn't bare to hear your best friend like this. You tried to wake up, tried to shout "Its me! Im awake, Alex. I love you too!" But no matter how many times you tried, it didn't happen. You felt a pair of warm lips on your forehead.

"Goodbye, y/n."