《diagnosed》nov 4, 2018
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sunday
10:30 pm
i cant get anything done. i suck.
i have shit grades and a shit relationship with my family. all the new friends im making this year are going to graduate and ditch me so im going to be all alone.
i fucking hate that.
i gaining so much weight and i literally cant fucking get off my stupid ass and do shit about other than complain
i hate that too
i wish i knew how to shut up and just get my shit done without having to feel the need to talk or complain or make a dumbass sarcastic joke that was probably mean or offensive but i didn't realize at the time.
this exactly is why teachers hate me. i mumble and stutter and make dumb jokes and get by only off my natural ability and without trying. hell this is why people hate me.
i hate me, ugh
dear lord fucking jessus christ i wish i could make myself believe in jesus again just so that i had something to rely on. even if it may be fake. i hate myself. so. damn. much.
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