《What's Really Hood》EIGHTEEN
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"How much white roses comes in the deluxe?" I asked looking at the display
Nelly's Flower Shop was always a go to for me. My mother love her some Nelly's flowers, we have them all over the house. Pops used to buy her a bouquet every time one of her many flowers starts dying. For some reason these flowers brought my mom and pops closer together. I always wondered why.
"Fifteen, for the premium it's ten more roses."
"Nah, I'm good. How much is for the fifteen?"
"Sixty please."
I went in my wallet and took out three twenty's. I set the money on the counter and slipped my wallet back into my pocket. She disappeared from behind the counter and then came back moments later with white roses. I nodded in approval.
"Would you like them in a vase?"
"No thanks." I said simply watching the lady behind the register with my hands in my pocket
She nodded and wrapped rubber bands around the stems. She then grabbed some paper with the store's logo all over it and wrapped it around the flowers. They looked great, I'm sure she'll love them. I started smiling to myself. White roses are her favorites.
"Here you go sir." She handed me the flowers "Have a good day."
"You too." I said taking the flowers from her and exiting out of the store
I held the flowers with my life and started walking to the bus stop that was right across the street. I sat on the bench and took out my phone along with my earbuds, going straight to the pandora app. I put my earbuds in, sticking my phone back in my coat pocket. Michael Jackson immediately started to fill my ears. I looked around the busy intersection taking in my surroundings.
This was always her favorite time of the day, an hour or so after we leave school where the sun is in the middle of setting, the streets are busy, lights are twinkling from almost every building. I sighed and got up as the bus started approaching picking up the roses.
The bus stopped right in front of me, I boarded the bus inserting my metro card. I went straight to the back of the bus and took a seat.
'''
I took a seat in front of the tombstone staring at it. Looks like someone came to visit her early.
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"These are for you, I know they're you're favorite." I set the roses right at the tombstone dusting off the residue, reading what it says.
Chelsea Whitely
June 15, 1997 - December 06, 2013
On this earth for just a while, ours, for just a moment, but in heaven forever. The joy you gave us will never die and your memory will never leave us. Eternally missed by family.
I couldn't cry, come to think of it, ever since she killed herself I never cried. It just felt so surreal, it still does. Chelsea was a strong girl, when I heard the news I didn't believe it. Chelsea was never the type to self harm, she told me that herself but I guess the bullying went too far to the point where she couldn't take it. It sucks that she never informed me she was getting bullied. She didn't tell me shit! I never really knew or remembered what happened after Tyra's party two years ago to be honest.
If Chelsea just told me, she'd still be here with me, cracking jokes with me and singing Michael Jackson songs word from word when he'd come on the radio.
She was a quiet girl, I remember exactly how we met. We met in the school library over a Michael Jackson song our freshman year.
"If you ever look behind and don't like what you find" I started singling along with the youtube video
"There's something you should know, you've got a place to go."
I whipped my neck to the left noticing a girl going through books on a random shelve, I took my headphones off of my head looking at her.
"Christopher this is your last warning." The Librarian said
"Sorry." I said whispering loudly
I turned back to the mysterious girl "You scared me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to Ben is just my favorite song by Michael Jackson." She replied tucking her her behind her ears "You have a nice voice by the way." She added smiling
"Thank you, so do you." I said pausing the video "What's your name? I've never seen you around here before."
"Chelsea."
"I'm Christopher."
"Christopher, have you ever listened to Who's Loving You?"
"No."
"Well we're gonna have to change that!" She raced over to me dragging over a chair
"I miss you Chels."
Around sophomore year Tyra was having her yearly parties, she also had one freshman year that I went to. I begged Chelsea to go with me so she can meet Chyna and the rest. She always kept her head in the books and did nothing but study over the weekends. I only talked to her during school hours when I catch her in the halls or in the library because she'd always be busy studying. I wanted her to have fun and meet new people, but it's all my fault. I wasn't there for her, I couldn't tend to her when she needed me the most.
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"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry."
Upperclassmen took advantage of her in all sorts of ways that I can't find myself to say. They took pictures, recorded her and posted it everywhere. That's when the bullying, and harassment started to occur. I was so oblivious that she started acting different after the party. She distanced herself and tried avoiding me at all cost. A week later she killed herself, I was notified by her parents who came up to the school to tell me. The whole month of December sophomore year I was a mess. I swore I was gonna murder whoever did this to her but no one spoke up. It still bothers me that you didn't get the justice you deserved. I didn't attend Tyra's following junior year party, and neither am I attending the one tomorrow.
"I hate myself so much because I couldn't protect you."
The thing that hurts me the most, I never was able to tell Chelsea my feelings. Chelsea was my right hand, my back bone. She was just like me, we had the same interests and everything. My young self was feeling her heavy, I was falling for her. I'd be looking forward for the next school day just so I can see her pretty smile and her twists in her hair that I'll always compliment her on.
And then I met Trinity who reminds me of Chelsea way too much that it's crazy. The first time I laid eyes on her when Michael stopped her in the middle of the street, I automatically thought of Chelsea. They act the same, and have the same habits. They speak the same, proper as hell for no reason it made me laugh.
I spotted Trinity Walking back up the block in the middle of the street, with bags in her hands. I noticed her keeping her head straight trying her hardest to not be spotted or bring attention to herself.
Chyna looked up from her phone and saw her about to walk past "Hey!" Chyna yelled out
She stopped abruptly in her tracks, she looked over at us and Chyna got off of the steps and jogged over to her.
"I didn't catch your name." Chyna said smiling
Kae and Michael got up from off of the steps so I did the same as the three of us walked over to the both of them
"It's Trinity." She said sticking her hand out
I looked at her, she reminded me of someone.
"Nice to meet you." Chyna ignored it and pulled her in a hug
She let go when Kae cleared her throat looking at her
"What, no Starbucks?" I said
Michael and Kae both started laughing obnoxiously. Chyna was trying her hardest not to laugh, but obviously the same didn't go for Kae and Michael
"How long did it take you to come up with that ass hole?" She responded and took out a glass bottle caramel that had a Starbucks label, taking a sip from it
I laughed and shook my head crossing his arms. The others laughed, excluding Kae. I was lowkey impressed to be honest.
"She got yo ass Chris." Michael said in the middle of laugher
"You look like you from Cali. I can't stand bitches from California."
"I am indeed from Cali."
When I first saw Trinity tuck her hair behind her ears it struck a nerve in me. Trinity looks at me just like Chelsea would. When I first met Trinity I'd push her away because I know I'll become attached to her, just like I had with Chelsea. I didn't want to, I didn't want to get hurt again, I didn't want to see another person I care about get hurt. I can't take the pain anymore.
"I miss you so much Chelsea, why'd you have to do it man. Why'd you have to leave me?" I put my head in my hands getting angry "Damn why you ain't tell me you needed help? I could've helped you! I was there for you, you knew that!"
Boyz II Men It's so Hard to say Goodbye to Yesterday started to play. Made me feel one hundred percent worse.
"And I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday."
"Rest in Peace baby girl, I love you."
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ƘADDARAR RAYUWA
Ita kaddarace abace wacce bata tsallake kan kowani bawaba, rayuwarta tazo cikeda Qaddara kala-kala, rayuwace mai cikeda qunci, baqin ciki da jarabawa iri-iri."Kuka takeyi kamar ranta zai fita, tana fadin mama nikuma Qaddarar rayuwata kennan, na kwammaci mutuwata da irin wannan rayuwar, rayuwata batada amfani."
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