Chapter 34

"C'mon, Keyana, you buggin' out," I say.

She sighs, settling back to her regular height after standing on the tip of her toes to inspect the bruise Black left behind.

"Why won't you let me look at it?" She asks.

"Cause it ain't bout nun. His bitch ass got a lucky shot. He wouldn't have even got that if Candyce wasn't in the way," I say.

Keyana's pulls her neck back.

"Candyce?"

I smack my teeth. I ain't in the mood to talk about her no way.

"Drop it, son. I just said it wasn't bout nun," I say.

She stares at me like she know I'm lying--which I'm not. But I ain't exactly telling the truth either. I just dropped down from a flight though. How the fuck I'ma tell her I was in another bitch face asking her to forgive me for putting my family first not even four days ago?

Keyana ain't no killer, but off them hormones, she might take a scalpel and jug a nigga up. Lucky for me we ina airport and she can't bring no weapons in here. So she can stand there looking stupid all she want, but she can't do shit about it until we get home.

Besides, I got more important shit I gotta catch up on. I coulda sworn I saw my lil man running through the airport terminal to get to me.

"Daddy!"

I move between the strangers in the airport, looking for the familiar face to match the voice calling out to me. Once I spot the tiny shoes racing through the crowds, I push past the rest of the people waiting for family and scoop my boy up.

"Daddy!" He screams.

"Hey lil' man! You missed me?" I say.

He nods his head fast enough to snap his neck in two. It's crazy how he ain't got nan a feature from me and still, his smile is enough to fill that void Candyce left. And it ain't just her. It's Reese moving like we on opposite sides of the same team. This shit with Ralo ain't enough to get him shooting back to New York but it is enough for us to get into it every time we see each other. So it's best if we stay out each other way completely.

Real shit, Amir's smile is more of a vacation from the bullshit I been facing back home than this whole trip finna be. I can tell by the way Keyana still side-eyeing me but also cause I see her annoying ass mama and messy ass sisters walking up to us.

I put Amir ona floor and look back at Keyana.

"You ain't tell me they was gon be here," I say.

"Why wouldn't they be? It's Thanksgiving and my family hasn't seen me in months. I know you don't think so but some people consider that a long time," She says.

She fold her arms and roll her eyes at me. I get irritated real quick but I start to feel bad watching her waddle over to her mama. They hug like they ain't just seen each other. She actin' like Thanksgiving the reason for this impromptu visit by them, but knowing them, they prolly been here for some time. She just ain't tell me cause she wanted me here too.

I don't blame her for wanting her cake and eating it too. Shit, I'm doing the same thing. If you can't call whatever the fuck I feel for Candyce having my cake and eating it too, then I don't know what to call it. Cheating is what Key would call it. That's why she don't know about it and I'ma keep it that way. Course it would be a lot easier to keep my dirt under wraps if her instigating ass sisters wasn't here. Them hoes look for any excuse to throw dirt on my name.

"Well, well. If it isn't Mr. Drug Dealer in the flesh," Katrina says.

Loud as the fuck. Like we ain't in the middle of a airport with guards by every entrance waiting to strip search a nigga. She the oldest out the Klan. It's her, Kalil, Keyana and they mama Kharin. I don't know how Keyana made it out that sack the person she is today. She ain't shit like them but she do get her nosiness from them.

"Wassam, Katrina," I say dryly.

"Hmph," She says, eyeing me up and down.

She brown-skinned like Keyana with her hair chopped up in one of them Tinker Bell cuts or whatever the fuck it's called. She favor Keyana, but she look more like the pictures of Kharin's first husband. Keyana and Kalil came after her first husband died. Then they daddy ran off when they was kids so it's been that way ever since. A house full of bitter women ready to torture the next nigga that walked into they life.

"So Katrina the only one you see standing here, boy? Didn't yo mama raise you to speak to everybody? I ain't wake up with you," Ms. Kharin says.

"Mama," Keyana says.

"My mama didn't raise me," I say.

"Figures," Kalil says.

She the baby of the family but her and Katrina might as well be twins. They both walk around like they gotta chip on they shoulder cause one of 'em daddy died and the other didn't care to stay. Boo-fucking-hoo. That's my origin story and you don't see me being a bitch to every woman I meet.

"Kalil, where yo husband at?" I say.

Knowing damn well he ran off a year ago.

"Caesar," Keyana says.

I snap my fingers like I'm just remembering her fiance left her 'cause all she do is nag. Nothing ever good enough for her spoiled ass.

"That's right. He left yo dumbass cause of yo mouth. And you still don't know when to shut up," I say.

"Oh no, Keyana. You better get this boy away from me with his disrespectful behind!" Ms. Kharin says.

I smack my teeth, "I'ma grown ass man, ain't no need to sicc my baby mama on me."

Keyana was about to tell her mama something in my defense but she clamp her mouth closed. She turn my way ready to chew me out like I said sumn wrong.

"Baby mama?" She asks.

"Hmph. Nigga just disrespectful. I told you not to get pregnant by this fool. I coulda did the procedure the same day you found out but no. You changed yo mind cause you wanted to give him a chance," Katrina says.

Katrina a OB, or what I like to call her, a pussy doctor, just to get under her skin. So I already know what procedure she talkin' bout. But I need to hear her say it so I can decide whether hitting a woman is as bad as people make it seem.

"What procedure?" I ask.

"Not here. Not now," Keyana says, looking between me and Katrina.

I wanna drag it out but Katrina sucks on her teeth and starts walking away. The rest of the Klan follow behind her. Keyana try to leave but I gently grab her wrist. She look tired and irritated when she turn around to face me.

"What she talkin bout, Key?" I ask.

"You just got here. It's Thanksgiving. Can we just not?" She asks.

She look so tired that I let her go. She starts waddling behind her mama 'nem as they walk through terminal.

Amir is the only one who stays behind with me. I haul him up to my shoulder and position him on my neck.

"At least you still fuck with me, right, bubba?" I ask.

"Yup!" He says.

I smile, grabbing my duffle bag that's not filled with money or drugs for the first time in forever. This may not be the vacation I had in mind, but I got my son, and my pregnant shawty in perfect health.

What more can I ask for?

...

We finally get free of the bickering and bullshit the Olsen twins bring when we hop in our seperate cars and start the drive to Keyana's cabin. Amir sits in his high chair ina back while I drive. Keyana been quiet since we piled into her red SUV. So I look over at her now.

She got that glow women be talkin' bout. Her hair ain't sitting on her shoulders no more. It grew out so it's touching the top of her back now, and she dyed it light brown so it look good against her brown skin. Her titties got bigger along with everything else but it all compliment her. She look like a snow princess sitting next to me with her beige and white fur vest and white long-sleeves underneath. Then she got on this white dress with boots on like it ain't below zero degrees in Colorado right now.

"Why you got ona dress?" I ask.

"I can't fit nothing else. I grew out of all my jeans and I haven't found time to look for maternity clothes with the blizzards happening back to back," She says.

"Oh."

We drive a few more miles in silence until I find something else to say. I look at Amir through the review mirror with his head slumped over in that heavy ass navy blue coat he wearing.

"How Mir like the snow?" I ask.

This get Key to smile.

"He love it. Last week, he stayed out so long his fingers started to turn blue. I had to drag him back inside screaming and hollering," Keyana laughs.

I start smiling too. I'm happy he get to grow up with this kind of exposure. I ain't never seen snow until New York and even then, it wasn't like this. Everywhere we look is white. White roads, white trees, and white mountains. Shit is beautiful foreal.

"How you like it out here? Is it what you hoped for?" I ask.

Keyana's smile fades as she stares out the windshield.

"It's alright," She says.

My eyebrows crinkle together as I watch her body language shift.

"What's wrong with it?" I ask.

"You mean besides you not being here? I'm lonely, I'm pregnant and I'm tired. I'ma single mom again and I'm just tired," She says.

"Single mom? Fuck you mean you a single mom again?" I ask.

Keyana sighs.

"Were you here to help me bring Amir inside the day his fingers were turning blue? Or what about the next day when he cried all day 'cause I wouldn't let him out again?" She asks.

"That's yo fault. I told you bout that. You gotta get him out that crybaby shit before it's too late," I say.

Keyana scoffs. She leans forward in the seat until the seatbelt practically choking her.

"So it's my job to toughen him up?" She asks.

"Yes. My grandma did it to me. Why you can't do it for Amir?" I say.

"Yo grandma had to do it cause yo dad wasn't around to do it, Caesar. Amir has a dad. You should be here toughening him up but instead you in New Orleans getting into bar fights behind Candyce," She says.

I crane my neck to look at her but she won't look at me. She too busy staring off through the passenger window. It's cool though. Maybe she can see how stupid she sound through her reflection in the glass.

"You sound stupid," I say.

"Do I?"

"Yeah you do. You speaking on shit you know nothing about tryna prove a point," I say.

"Oh I don't know nothing about it? Then why did you start pushing 80 miles an hour the second I mentioned her name? You going 80 miles on a snowy road with your son in the backseat and your pregnant baby mama in the car all cause I mentioned that bitch's name!" Keyana says.

I look at the speedometer and see that I am pushing close to 90. I ease off the gas. Keyana chuckles.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Don't ever insult my intelligence, nigga," Keyana says.

I glance at her but what can I really say? She saw the fucking speedometer. I'm pissed off but I can't speed on these icy roads so I do the next best thing. I blast rap music all the way to the house.

...

The next couple days went more or less like that. Me and Key stood out each other way unless we absolutely had to talk. If she wanted to go somewhere that was too far away, or the snow was falling too heavy, she asked me to drive. We ain't say a word to each other the whole way there or the way back. If we was playing with Amir in the snow we stayed on our respective sides of the yard. It ain't like he could tell the difference. He was too busy living it up making snow angels and building snowmen.

The Klan kept they comments to they self through it all as if they succeeded on tearing us apart. Now that they got us beefed out, they ain't got no more talk for me.

I ain't trippin though. I spent my Thanksgiving break with my lil man. I spent hours in his room teaching him how to play dominos and jacking him out of the few dollars he had crumpled up in his savings. When it was all said and done, I beat him out his petty change but gave it back to him in larger bills.

"I'm rich!" He screamed, throwing the money in the air.

Lil nigga didn't know what's mine is his so he was rich before I broke bread with 'em. I couldn't do nun but laugh.

When the day was over and Mir's bedtime had came, I went back to silence laying in the bed with Keyana. I would've thought we would've mumbled at least one word to each other alone in the room but nah. She was furious over what she thought she knew and I just didn't wan' deal with it. So I let her lay there mad at the world until the sun came up. But that was before tonight. Tonight is the night our roles reverse. It's the night before Thanksgiving Day and I'm the one up battling with my thoughts while Keyana breathes quietly next to me.

I don't know why today is the day I reflect on what happened that night with Candyce in the club. I was mad the day it happened but I had no choice but to swallow that shit. It wasn't like I had a potna to run it down to. It's not like I coulda called Ace up and got his opinion on the situation. And Reese was outta the question even if we was talking.

I made it clear the day he broke up with her that I ain't want him speaking on her to me ever again. Now look at me. I'm alone with my thoughts at 2am cause my mind is the only safe space to talk about Candyce.

I don't even wanna be thinkin 'bout her. She wasn't thinkin 'bout me when she went picking for friends out my opposition. I mean, did I really have to explain it to Red? She was sheltered, but she know the code; she from the hood. She know you don't do no shit like that unless you tryna make a statement.

Ace got a whole cluster of niggas she coulda chose to get help from. I don't see why she would need a hitter but we got more where Tory came from. And Munch is just a cokehead who one line away from being the crackhead he supply to. He a disgrace. Yet, these the niggas she seek out for help. I know Ace taught her better than that. I know I showed her better than that. So again, why the fuck would she ask them niggas for help if it wasn't to get back at me?

I know I said some foul shit to her last time we talked but this ain't us. We don't ever stoop to this level. She interfering with street shit she don't know enough about. To her, my beef with Black prolly ain't nun more than an misunderstanding. But I know like he know that the threat he made to kill me was serious. Just like we both know that he onto something with this Fed shit. But he don't strike me as the type of nigga to downplay another nigga to a female, even Candyce. Even if he do think I'ma rat, he not gon tell Candyce that shit cause that's street business. We gon keep the ladies and the gossip out of it. But Candyce silly ass don't know that.

She think she got it all figured out but she don't know shit. She don't know that he spot-on about me working with the Feds. She don't know that when he lay the suspicions on the table in front of Ace, that all the history ina world won't stop Ace from putting two and two together.

That's why he gotta die.

I get up from the bed and head to the closet. I close the closet door as soft as I can without waking Keyana up. I hit the light and search through my duffel for the trap phone Felicity gave me. It's been turned off for awhile but I have no doubt that she'll answer on the first ring when I call.

I try to hold the red button until the phone cuts on but it never do.

"Fuck!" I whisper.

I don't even think I brought the charger with me. I pocket the phone anyway, deciding there's gotta be a charger for this bitch laying around somewhere. Even if it's for a speaker or Amir's tablet. Something gotta work for this old ass shit.

I hit the light and slowly turn the knob from the inside of the closet. I make sure Keyana is still alseep before I leave the room. At the end of the day, the plan is only successful if the least amount of people know about it. And Keyana knowing about it wouldn't do anybody any good. She a healer, a doctor. She love me but she hate me too and she liable to turn my ass in for conspiracy to commit a murder if she knew that's what I was doing. That's why it's gon stay between me and Felicity. And Officer Lake's dumbass but if he snitch, Felicity can handle that. I know for a fact she ain't put a dog on her team that can't be put down if it comes down to it.

I move down the hallway to Amir's room. It's all log cabins and wood everywhere but he still managed to make it his own. His race car bed is still at Keyana's crib back home so he in a regular twin-sized bed with a Lightening McQueen bedspread. The room has other posters of yellow Lamborghinis and fast-moving cars on the walls. He gotta train set setup on the floor that I'm careful not to step on as I move around the room looking for his tablet.

I find it on his dresser but the charger nowhere to be found. I'm looking for a plug ina wall when I hear his mattress creak.

"Daddy?" Amir says.

He sitting up in bed wiping his eyes with the back of his hand when I turn around.

"Yeah, where yo tablet charger at?" I ask.

"Am I in trouble?" He asks.

So this what Keyana do instead of putting fire to his ass? She take his tablet away? Soft ass.

"No. My phone died and Daddy needs a charger," I say.

He points to a spot across the room.

"It's over there," He says.

I go to where his arm pointed and pull the charger out the wall. I inspect the layout of it before plugging it into my phone. Luckily, it's a perfect fit.

"C'mon, get up," I tell Amir.

He reaches his arms out for me to pick him up the way I used to when he was little. I hold the phone and the charger in one hand and pick him up with the other. His red and white pajama set is decked out in cars. He leans his head on my shoulder as we go downstairs.

I sit him on the edge of the counter in the kitchen while I find a spot to charge my phone. Once that's done, I cut on the oven overhead light instead of the kitchen light. The Klan's are alseep in the guest rooms down here and I ain't tryna give the bats no reason to come out hibernation. Meanwhile, Amir's still on the counter rubbing at his eyes looking tired as ever.

"You know why I woke you up?" I ask him.

He shakes his head no.

"You remember how you used to have them nightmares and wake up in the middle of the night?" I ask.

He nods his head.

"You remember what we used to do?" I ask.

"We would eat the snacks Mommy hid away and watch TV until I fell asleep," Mir says.

"Yeah. Well Daddy can't sleep tonight so I need you to help me get back to sleep," I say.

"You had a bad dream?" He asks.

"Something like that. Now where the pantry at with Mommy good snacks?" I ask.

Amir hops down from the counter and starts off in that direction. I lag behind to make sure the phone is actually charging before I follow after him.